bridge, and fat up very late, after obferving that he was to go the next morning to Eastbourne, to ride a race for his uncle, bluntly exclaimed, "If my uncle wants me to ride his race, he must get fomebody elfe."

AN IRISH AUCTION BILL

TO be fold by public cant,
A picture of my aunt,

In a worm-eaten frame-
(A comical dame)—

A jug with one ear,

Not certain it can hear-
Three bottles of whiskey,
But they won't make you frisky,
For they're empty, alas!
Such things come to pafs;
If full of good liquor,
I know they'd fell quicker-
A good feather-bed
As weighty as lead-
A table with a wooden leg,'
Juft ready to beg-

An old copper kettle,
Made I think of bell-metal-
A clock without a flaw,
Bound over to the law;

For it never dare strike;

You cannot fee the like

With a thousand things befide,

For convenience and pride,

Full worthy of attention,

Which at present we can't mention.

C. W.

BEAN FEAST.

A FEW days ago, a Gentleman Tailor, celebrated for his literality, gave a rich treat to his men, at his occafional country refidence. It was called a Bean

Feaft;

Feaf; but, exclufive of the beans, the table literally groaned with bacon, cabbage, cucumbers, and, in hort, every delicacy that he knew would suit the palates of his guefts. At the head of the table fat a friend of the worthy tailor, a Brewer by profeffion, and felected for the purpose of feeing that each man did honour to the glafs that no person should be made a butt of-to check, as much as poffible, any unpleafant fermentation and, by the sparkling of his wit, to keep the converfation in a due medium between the flat and the frothy. At the bottom was feated an ttorney, fully qualified to commence actions against any perfon or perfons who fhould dare to affault even the ninth part of any man in company. The dinner

feemed to hit the taste of all perfons, though one gentleman, whofe ftomach was not quite in condition, begged he might be indulged with not more than a thimble-full of brandy, by way of affifting digestion. Another immediately obferved, that it was fetting a good pattern; and as he felt fomething like a ftitch in his fide, he would, with permiffion, join him.

Good

humour was every where prevalent; the glafs circulated freely, and the greater part went fo far beyond their measure, that they became completely fewed up, and were unable to reach even the skirts of the town. that day.

SONG.

BY ANAOREON MOORE.

FLY from the world, oh Beffy! to me,
Thou 'It never find any fincerer;

1.'ll give up the world, oh Beffy! for thee;
I can never meet any that 's dearer.
Then tell me no more, with a tear and a figh,
That our loves will be cenfur'd by many;
All, all have their follies, and who will deny
That ours is the sweetest of any?

When your lip has met mine, in abandonment sweet,

Have we felt as if virtue forbid it?

Have we felt as if Heaven denied them to meet?
No, rather 't was Heaven that did it! :
So innocent, love, is the pleafure we fip,
So little of guilt is there in it,

That I wish all my errors were lodg'd on your lip,
And I'd kifs then away in a minute!

Then come to your lover, oh! fly to his fhed,
From a world which I know thou despisest;
And flumber will hover as light on our bed
As e'er on the couch of the wifeft!

And when o'er our pillow the tempeft is driven,
And thou, pretty innocent, feareft,

I'll tell thee, it is not the chiding of Heaven,
'T is only our lullaby, deareft!

And oh! when we lie on our death-bed, my love,
Looking back on the fcene of our errors;
A figh from my Beffy fhall plead then above,
And death be difarm'd of his terrors!
And each to the other embracing will fay,
"Farewell!-let us hope we 're forgiven!"
The laft fading glance will illumine the way,
And a kiss be our paffport to Heaven!

WH

CANZONET.

THE LADY WHO SWORE BY HER EYES.

[From the Morning Herald.]

HEN the girl of my heart is on perjury bent, The sweetest of oaths hides the falfest intent, And Sufpicion, abafh'd, from her company flies, When the fimiles like an angel-and fwears by her eyes: For in them fuch magic, fhe knows, is difplay'd, That a tear can convince, and a look can perfuade: And the thinks that I dare not, or cannot refuse To believe on their credit whate'er she may choose.

But

But I've learn'd from the painful experience of youth,
That vehement oaths never constitute truth;
And I've studied thofe treacherous eyes, and I find
They are mutable figns of a mutable mind!

Then, dear one, I'd rather, thrice rather believe
Whate'er you affert, even though to deceive,

Than that you" by your eyes" fhould fo wickedly fwear,
"by
And fin against Heaven-for Heaven is there!

EPIGRAM

WORKS

ON ******'s BECOMING A FATHER, WHOSE
ARE REMARKABLE FOR THEIR DULLNESS AND UN

INTELLIGIBILITY.

EY OLD NICK.

-Opus-mirabile visu! HOR.

NE lively production at length is our lot,

ONE

And ftrange, but moft true, head and tail it has got;

Not flimfy and vain, here a body we find,

And critics may fmile, yet it seems to have mind!

ON A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADY'S, WITHDRAWING FROM HER POCKET ALL INSTRUMENTS OF ATTRACTION DURING THE LATE STORM.

CELIA, from lightning to fecure her life,

Forth from her pocket draws th' attractive knife;
But know, fweet maid, far greater danger lies
In the attractive influence of thine eyes;

Therefore in vain, my fair, this cautious action,
For thou canst never be without attraction.

For where is the foul that escapes
The fubtle and fearching sensation?
It comes in all manner of fhapes,
And fills the whole range of creation.

It fpares neither aged nor young,
But travels the bleffed world over;
And though never told by the tongue,
The eyes will full furely discover,
"T is the effence of fpiritual flame,
The fource of each tender emotion;
A feeling that fills the whole frame,
And speaks in each feature and motion.

It warms ev'ry thought of the foul,
It opes a new world to the senses;
Fair fancy it frees from control,
And breaks down ftupidity's fences.
opens the mind of the fage;

It

The growth of bright genius it quickens; Gives warmth to the coldness of age,

And health to the bofom that fickens.

If fometimes the fource of much pain,
Its joys, in proportion, are greater;
And though long we fuffer in vain,
Reward will come fooner or later.
Thus Phillis once broke my repofe,
But Mira is not so hard-hearted;
Her kindness has banish'd my woes,

And cur'd all the wounds that once smarted.

Now, as for myself, I declare,

The paffion I ne'er will let languish;

For fweet are the fmiles of the fair,

And their frowns are my torment and anguish. O those who have known well as I

The value of love's facred pleasures, Find charms in the glance of an eye, Surpaffing the world's richest treafures.

The