A SONG.

[From the fame.]

COME liften, my honies, awhile ye fhall hear!
Soon a comical ftory I'll tell ye,

How Europe's got humbug'd, how France is enflavic,
And the Dutchmen are ground to a jelly.

By St. Patrick it's true: they all richly defervé
To be gibbeted first, and hung after,

For lending a hand to enflave their own land,
And for making this cut-throat their master.

Brother Joey, the effence of rafcals, has got
Of Italia a precious good flice;.

While the poor King of Naples was foon fent to pot,
And his capital robb'd in a trice.

And the Viceroy Beauharnois, Madame Jofephine's brat,
Ha's got a fine country to plunder;

But to give him a crown, Sirs, instead of a halter,

Oh, what a tremendous great blunder!

And now, to complete this divifion of spoil,
Thefe highwaymen held confultation.

To fecure their booty, Brother Louis they make
The king of the great-breeches nation.
While the ions of brave Tell, who for ages have ftood
Unconquer'd, their freedom defending,

Are cut out for that jackal, the cuckold Murat ;

And their necks to this monfter are bending.

Arrah, faith! there is one more of this hopeful brood,
And his name it is Admiral Jerry,

Who intends Daddy Neptune's firm throne to upfet,
And in England to reign free and merry.

Ye winds, be aufpicious! don't blow him to port,
Till the Jack Tars of Britain fhall meet him;
And then, with the honours of powder and ball,
His new fubjects will heartily greet him.

But before we 'll fubmit to receive terms of peace,
Or compromife Britain's proud charter,

In rivers of blood we 'll wipe off fuch disgrace,
Or to Freedom we 'lleach fall a martyr.

No!

No! we'd rather in battle refign our best blood,
Sooner plunge in old Ocean's falt waves,

Than defert thofe white cliffs where our brave fathers flood, Or fubmit to a nation of flaves.

P. A.)

THE FEMALE PHILOSOPHERS OF OUR INSTITUTION ROYAL.

IN

[From Sir Chriftopher Hatton's Ghoft.]

Befs's days each filly maid

Could fcrawl, perhaps, but could not spell
Of her own mhadow was afraid,

And trembled when the thought on hell!

But

we are fall'n in other times

Queer foul! thou nothing know'ft of uftion;
We read and write, and deal in rhymes,
And pierce the fecrets of combuftion.
It is not now, as 't was of yore-
Pleasures we have you neve felt:
On dry Linné we nightly pore,

Or with delicious Darwin melt :
Wonder that piflil and that ftamen
Should make the vegetable elves,
E'en the most despicable gramen
In all things like unto ourselves.
All male and female acts we know,

As they 're by wife men understood,
Like rivers neceffarily flow,

And all are for the gen'ral good.

Your females neceffarily cover'd

The charms which bounteous nature gave;

We ncceffarily have difcover'd,

'Tis beft to fhew the charms we have.

So, innocent as finless Eve,

Ere yet one fig-leaf spread umbrageous,

In native buff we'll boldly give

The best of proofs that we 're courageous 1

Nov. 24.

THE BUTTERFLY'S BALL, AND THE GRASS. HOPPER'S FEAST.

WRITTEN

BY MR. ROSCOE FOR HIS CHILDREN, AND ORDERED TO BE SET TO MUSIC BY HER MAJESTY,

COME,

take up your hats, and away let us hafte
To the Butterfly's bail, and the Grafshopper's feast;
The trumpeter Gadfly has fummon'd the crew,
And the revels are now only waiting for you.

On the fmooth-fhaven grafs, by the fide of a wood,
Beneath a broad oak, which for ages had stood,
See the children of earth, and the tenants of air,
To an evening's amufement together repair.

And there came the Beetle, fo blind and fo black,
Who carried the Emmet, his friend, on his back;
And there came the Gnat, and the Dragon-fly too,
With all their relations, green, orange, and blue.

And there came the Moth, with her plumage of down,
And the Hornet, with jacket of yellow and brown,
Who, with him the Wafp, his companion, did bring,
But they promis'd, that ev'ning to lay by their fting.
Then the fly little Dormoufe peep'd out of his hole,
And led to the feaft, his blind coufin, the Mole;
And the Snail, with her horns peeping out of her shell,
Came fatigued with the diftance, the length of an ell.
'A mushroom the table, and on it was spread
A water-dock leaf, which their table-cloth made.
The viands were various, to each of their taste,
And the Bee brought the honey, to fweeten the feast.

With steps moft majeftic the Sil did advance,
And he promis'd the gazers a minute to dance;
But they all laugh'd fo loud, that he drew in his head,
And went, in his own little chamber, to bed.

Then, as ev'ning gave way to the shadows of night,
Their watchman, the Glow-worm, came out with his light :
So home let us haften, while yet we can fee,

For no watchman is waiting for you or for me!,

THE

THE SEA COOK:-A TALE.

BY TOM TARBUCKET.

[From the Statesman ]

AN old Sea Cook, like others in this nation,
Was once, poor d-l, tried for peculation;
That is, in language plain, this wicked thief
Had from his public truft * purloin'd some beef:
For which offence the Court † decreed,

The culprit's back should be well flead.

The fentence pass'd, poor Cook in doleful dumps,
Limp'd down below, dg his eyes and ftumps,
Then fat him on his chest, and thus exclaim'd:
"What! flog a wretch like me, both old and maim'd!
Curfe on thofe dogs that thus decreed,

My poor old back to be fo flead:

Curfe on thofe dogs that call a Cook a thief,
For taking to his ufe a bit of beef;

But I've been tried by Captains, let me tell ye,
Captains! who never felt a hungry belly;
Had I been tried by Cooks, or I'll be fpitted,
I'd been mof honourably acquitted."

IT

THE MORAL.

The guilty oft-times 'fcape the law
By brother rogues, who find fome flaw:
Nought hurts its kind except a hog;
Cats won't eat cat, nor dogs eat dog.

ANECDOTE.

[From the fame.]

T was cuftomary with the old King of Pruffia, whenever a new foldier appeared in his guards, to afk him three questions :

*The cooks of His Majefty's fhips have charge of the fteep-tub, which contains falt provifions.

+ Court-martial; the members of which are always Captains. Cooks are always feamen who have lost a limb in the fervice. "How

P 5

"How old are you? How long have you been in my fervice? Are you fatisfied with your pay and treatment?"

It happened that a young foldier, born in France, who had ferved in his own country, defired to enlist in the Pruffian fervice; his figure caufed him to be im-, mediately accepted, but he was totally ignorant of the German language; and his captain giving him notice that the King would question him in that tongue, the first time he should fee him, advised him at the same time to learn the three proper answers to the questions which the King would ask him: accordingly he perfected himself in them by the next day; and as soon as he appeared in the ranks Frederick came up to interrogate him but he happened to begin upon him with the fecond question, "How long have you been in my fervice?""Twenty-one years," answered the foldier. The King, ftruck with his youth, which plainly indicated that he had not borne a mufket fo long as that, faid to him, much aftonifhed, "How old are you?"-" One year, an't please your Majefty." Frederick, more aftonished ftill, cried, "You or I muft certainly be bereft of our fenfes." The foldier, who took this tor the third queftion, replied firmly, "Both, an't please your Majefty."-"This is the first time I was ever treated as a madman at the head of my army," faid Frederick. The foldier, who had exhausted his stock of German, kept filent; and when the King questioned him again, to penetrate into this mystery, the foldier told him in French, that he did not understand a word of German; at which the King laughed heartily, advised him to learn that language, and exhorted him to perform well his duty.

CASTLEREAGH.