This shadowy desert, unfrequented woods, Enter Proteus, Silvia, and Julia. Pro. Madam, this service I have done for you, Pro. Unhappy were you, madam, ere I came ; sence. Sil. Had I been seized by a hungry lion, Pro. What dangerous action, stood it next to death, Thou hast no faith left now, unless thou hadst two, Who respects friend? Sil. In love, Aft men but Proteus. Pro. I am sorry I must never trust thee more, Mongst all foes, that a friend should be the worst. I render it here; I do as truly suffer As e'er I did commit. Val. Then I am paid; And once again I do receive thee honest: Val. Why, boy! why, wag! how now? what's the matter? Look up; speak. Ful. O good sir, my master charged me to deliver a ring to madain Silvia; which, out of my neglect, was never done. Pro. Where is that ring, boy? [Gives a ring. Pro. How let me see; why this is the ring I gave to Julia. Ful. O, cry your mercy, sir, I have mistook; This is the ring you sent to Silvia. [Shows another ring. Pro. But, how cam'st thou by this ring? at my de part, I gave this unto Julia. Ful. And Julia herself did give it me; Jul. Behold her that gave aim to all thy oaths, It is the lesser blot, modesty finds, were man But constant, he were perfect: that one error [duke. Enter Outlaws, with Duke and Thurio. I claim her not, and therefore she is thine. I now beseech you, for your daughter's sake, ACT I. PERSONS REPRESENted. Sir HUGH EVANS, a Welch par son. Dr. CAIUS, a French physician. BARDOLPH, followers of Fal staff. PISTOL, SCENE I.-Windsor. Garden front of Page's House. Enter Fustice Shallow, Slender, and Sir Hugh Evans. Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram. Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and Cust-alorum. Slen. Ay, and ratolorum, too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero; in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armi gero. Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have don't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Shal. It is an old coat. Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love. Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. Slen. I may quarter, coz? Shal. You may, by marrying.. Eva. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it. Eva. Yes, py 'r-lady; if he has a quarter of your coat there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one: If sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and comproinises be tween you. Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot. Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again the sword should end it. Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman. SIMPLE, servant to Slender. RUGBY, servant to Dr. Caius. Mrs. FORD. Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. ANNE PAGE, her daughter. Mrs. QUICKLY, servant to Dr. Caius. Servants to Page, Ford, &c. Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandisire upon his death's-bed, (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections !) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page. Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts. Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Falstaff there? Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door [knocks] for master Page. What, hoa! Got pless your house here ! Enter Page. Page. Who's there? Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow and here young master Slender; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings. Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow. Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; Much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed:-How doth good mistress Page?-and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Can Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: there be more said? he is good, and fair. Is sir John Falstaff here? Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Eva. It is spoke as a christians ought to speak. Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page. Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confess'd it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me; indeed he hath ;-at a word he hath ;-believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes sir John. Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter. Enter Mistress Anne Page with wine; Mistress Ford and Mistress Page following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we 'll drink within. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. [Exit Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met by your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. [Exeunt all but Shal., Slender, and Evans. Slen. Ihad rather than forty shillings, I had my book of Songs and Sonnets here:Enter Simple. Fal. I will answer it straight;-I have done all How now, Simple! Where have you been? I must this:-That is now answer'd. Shal. The Council shall know this. Fal. T were better for you if it were known in counsel; you'll be laughed at. Eva. Pauca verba, sir John, goot worts. Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head; What matter have you against me? Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. [They carried me to the tavern and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.] Bard. You Banbury cheese! Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Pist. How now, Mephostophilus? Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that 's my humour. Slen. Where 's Simple, my man?-can you tell, cousin? Eva. Peace: I pray you! Now let us understand: There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is-master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. We three, to hear it and end it between them. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can. Fal. Pistol, Pist. He hears with ears. Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. Fal. Is this true, Pistol? Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you? Sim. Book of Riddles? why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas? Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; There is, as 't were, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here :-Do you understand me? Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Slen. So I do, sir. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he 's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. Eva. But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there s the point, sir. Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so I will marry her upon any reasonable demands. Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth:-Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir,-I will do as it shall become one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!--Sir John and what I do is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo : Word of denial in thy labras here; Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest ! Slen. By these gloves, then 't was he. Nym. Be advis'd, sir, and pass good humours; I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me: that is the very note of it. Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd: and so conclusions passed the careers. Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 't is no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; your hear it. maid? Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt; but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely;-his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la. Re-enter Anne Page. Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne:-Would I were young for your sake, mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worship's company. Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Anne. Will 't please your worship to come in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am Ivery well. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin, Shallow: [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man:-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. Anne. I may not go in without your worship; they will not sit till you come. Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Sten. I had rather walk here, I thank you; I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England:-You are afraid if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman a fresh tapster: Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit Bard. Pist. O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour conceited? [His mind is not heroic, and there 's the humour of it.] Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer,-he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal! foh; a fico Pist. Young ravens must have food. Pist. Two yards, and more. Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have Fal. No quips now, Pistol: Indeed I am in the seen Sackerson loose twenty times; and have taken waist two yards about; but I am now about no him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'd make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill favoured rough things. Re-enter Page. her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am sir John Pist. He hath studied her will, and translated her will, out of honesty into English. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we Falstaff's. stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir: Nym. The anchor is deep: Will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband's purse; he hath a legion of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her boy,' say I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will not the angels. do you that wrong. Anne. I pray you, sir. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome; you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. SCENE II.-The same. [Exeunt. Fal. Mine host of the Garter.Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou 'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow: Let me see thee troth and line: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him: a tapster is a good Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too; examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Nym. I thank thee for that humour. Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass! such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to Rob.] bear you these letters tightly; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.- And high and low beguile the rich and poor; Nym. I have operations, which be humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. With both the humours, I: Pist. And I to Page shall eke unfold, How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to- Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. Caius. Peace-a your tongue !-Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your SCENE IV.-A Room in Dr. Caius's House. maid, to speak a good word to Mrs. Anne Page for Enter Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby. my master, in the way of marriage. Quick. What: John Rugby-I pray thee, go to Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put the casement, and see if you can see my master, my finger in the fire, and need not. master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me [Writes. find any body in the house, here will be an old some paper: Tarry you a little-a while. abusing of God's patience and the king's English. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been Rug. I'll go watch. Exit Rugby. thoroughly moved you should have heard him so Quick. Go; and we 'll have a posset for 't soon at loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my mascome in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-ter,-I may call him my master, look you, for I tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is that he keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, is given to prayer; he is something peevish that scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do way; but nobody but has his fault-but let that all myself:pass. Peter Simple you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender 's your master? Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, Quick. How say you?-O, I should remember him: Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter Rugby. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he [Aside. Cains. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Depeche Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rug. 'T is ready, sir, here in the porch. Sim. T is a great charge to come under one body's hand. Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge and to be up early and down late;but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it ;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that 's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sir Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the Caius. Rugby, come to de court vid me:--By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door :-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do : nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who 's within there? ho! Quick. Who 's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you. Enter Fenton. Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou? Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you:-Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;--good faith, it is such another Nan:-but, I detest an honest maid Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?-as ever broke bread;-We had an hour's talk of Villainy! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier. Quick. Good master, be content. C that wart-I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing: But for you-Well, go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day; Hold, there 's D |