The Dramatic Works of William Shakspeare

Re-enter Widow, with HELENA.

King. Is there no exorcist Beguiles the truer office of mine eyes?

Is't real, that I see?

Hel.
No, my good lord;
'Tis but the shadow of a wife you see,
The name, and not the thing.
Ber.
Both, both; O, pardon!
Hel. O, my good lord, when I was like this
maid,

I found you wond'rous kind. There is your ring,
And, look you, here's your letter; This it
says,
When from my finger you can get this ring,
And are by me with child, &c.-This is done:
Will you be mine, now you are doubly won?
Ber. If she, my liege, can make me know this
clearly,

I'll love her dearly, ever, ever dearly,

Hel. If it appear not plain, and prove untrue, Deadly divorce step between me and you !O, my dear mother, do I see you living?

Laf. Mine eyes smell onions, I shall weep anon:- -Good Tom Drum, [To Parolles.] lend me a handkerchief: So, I thank theę; wait on

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CHRISTOPHER SLY, a drunken tinker.
Hostess, Page, Players, Huntsmen, and other Servants attending on the Lord.

Persons in the Induction.

KATHARINA, the Shrew; daughters to Baptista.
BIANCA, her sister,
Widow.

Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants attending on Baptista and Petruchio.

Scene,—sometimes in Padua ; and sometimes in Petruchio's house in the country.

SCENE I.

Before an alehouse on a heath.

Enter Hostess and SLY.

INDUCTION.

Sly. I'll pheese you, in faith. Host. A pair of stocks, you rogue! Sly. Y'are a baggage; the Slies are no rogues: Look in the chronicles, we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore, paucas pallabris; let the world slide: Sessa!

Host. You will not pay for the glasses you have burst?

Sly. No, not a denier: Go by, says Jeronimy;Go to thy cold bed, and warm thee.

Host. I know my remedy, I must go fetch the thirdborough. [Exit.

Sly. Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll answer him by law: I'll not budge an inch, boy; let him come, and kindly.

[Lies down on the ground, and falls asleep. Wind horns. Enter a Lord from hunting, with

Huntsmen and Servants.

Lord. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds:

Brach Merriman,-the poor cur is emboss'd, And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth'd brach.

Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good

At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault?
I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.
1 Hun. Why, Belman is as good as he, my
lord;

He cried upon it at the merest loss,
And twice to-day pick'd out the dullest scent:
Trust me, I take him for the better dog.

Lord. Thou art a fool; if Echo were as fleet,
I would esteem him worth a dozen such.
But sup them well, and look unto them all;
To-morrow I intend to hunt again.

1 Hun. I will, my lord.

Lord. What's here? one dead, or drunk? Sec, doth he breathe?

2 Hun. He breathes, my lord: Were he not warm'd with ale,

This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly. Lord. O monstrous beast! how like a swine

he lies!

Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image!

Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.-
What think you, if he were convey'd to bed,
Wrapp'd in sweet clothes, rings put upon his
fingers,

A most delicious banquet by his bed,
And brave attendants near him when he wakes,
Would not the beggar then forget himself?

1 Hun. Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose.

2 Hun. It would seem strange unto him when he wak'd.

Lord. Even as a flattering dream, or worth

less fancy.

Then take him up, and manage well the jest:-
Carry him gently to my fairest chamber,
And hang it round with all my wanton pictures:
Balm his foul head with warm distilled waters,
And burn sweet wood to make the lodging

sweet:

Procure me musick ready when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;
And if he chance to speak, be ready straight,
And, with a low submissive reverence,
Say, What is it your honour will command?
Let one attend him with a silver bason,
Full of rose-water, and bestrew'd with flowers;
Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,
And say,-Will't please your lordship cool your
hands?

Some one be ready with a costly suit,
And ask him what apparel he will wear;
Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his lady mourns at his disease:
Persuade him, that he hath been lunatick;
And, when he says he is, say, that he dreams,
For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs;
It will be pastime passing excellent,
If it be husbanded with modesty.

Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him; And each one to his office, when he wakes.— [Some bear out Sly. A trumpet sounds. Sirral, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds :[Exit Servant. Belike, some noble gentleman; that means, Travelling some journey, to repose him here.— Re-enter a Servant.

How now? who is it?
Serv.
An it please your honour,
Players, that offer service to your lordship.
Lord. Bid them come near:—

lent,

Well, you are come to me in happy time;
The rather for I have some sport in band,
Wherein your cunning can assist me much.
There is a lord will hear you play to-night:
But I am doubtful of your modesties;
Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour,
(For yet his honour never heard a play,)
You break into some merry passion,
And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,
If you should smile, he grows impatient.

1 Play. Fear not, my lord; we can contain
ourselves,

Were he the veriest antick in the world.

Lord. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery,
And give them friendly welcome every one:
Let them want nothing, that my house affords.-
[Exeunt Servant and Players,
Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page,
To a Servant.
And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady:
That done, conduct him to the drunkard's
chamber,

And call him-madam, do him obeisance.
Tell him from me, (as he will win my love,)
He bear himself with honourable action,
Such as he hath observ'd in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplished:
Such duty to the drunkard let him do,

1 Hun. My lord, I warrant you, we'll play With soft low tongue, and lowly courtesy;

our part,

As he shall think, by our true diligence,

He is no less than what we say he is,

And say,-What is't your honour will com,

mand,

Wherein your lady, and your humble wife,

May show her duty, and make known her love? | for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What, And then-with kind embracements, tempting I am not bestraught: Here's

kisses,

And with declining head into his bosom,-
Bid him shed tears, as being overjoyed
To see her noble lord restor❜d to health,

Who, for twice seven years, hath esteemed him
No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman's gift,
To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift;
Which in a napkin being close convey'd,
Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.
See this despatch'd with all the haste thou canst;
Anon I'll give thee more instructions.-

[Exit Servant.
I know, the boy will well usurp the grace,
Voice, gait, and action of a gentlewoman:
I long to hear him call the drunkard, husband;
And how my men will stay themselves from
laughter,

When they do homage to this simple peasant.
I'll in to counsel them: haply, my presence
May well abate the over-merry spleen,
Which otherwise would grow into extremes.
[Exeunt.

SCENE II.

A bedchamber in the Lord's house.

1 Serv. O, this it is, that makes your lady

mourn.

2 Serv. O, this it is, that makes your servants droop.

Lord. Hence comes it, that your kindred
shun your house,

As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
O, noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth;
Call home thy ancient thoughts from banish-
ment,

And banish hence these abject lowly dreams:
Look how thy servants do attend on thee,
Each in his office ready at thy beck.
Wilt thou have musick? hark! Apollo plays,
[Musick.
And twenty caged nightingales do sing:
Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch,
Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed
On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis.
Say, thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground:
Or wilt thou ride? thy horses shall be trapp'd,
Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.
Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will

soar

Above the morning lark: Or wilt thou hunt?
Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them,
And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.
1 Serv, Say, thou wilt course; thy grey-
hounds are as swift

SLY is discovered in a rich night gown, with At-As
tendants; some with apparel, others with ba-
son, ewer, and other appurtenances. Enter
Lord, dressed like a Servant.

Sly. For God's sake, a pot of small ale.

1 Serv. Will't please your lordship drink a cup of sack?

2 Serv. Will't please your honour taste of these conserves?

3 Serv. What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

Sly. I am Christophero Sly; call not me— honour, nor lordship: I never drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give inc conserves of beef: Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings thau legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes, more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the overleather.

Lord. Heaven cease this idle humour in your
honour!

O, that a mighty man, of such descent,
Of such possessions, and so high esteem,
Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burtonheath; by birth a pedler, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up

breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.
2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch
thee straight

Adonis, painted by a running brook:
And Cytherea all in sedges hid;
Which seem to move and wanton with her
breath,

Even as the waving sedges play with wind.

Lord. We'll show three Io, as she was a maid; And how she was beguiled and surpriz'd, As lively painted as the deed was done. 3 Serv. Or Daphne, roaming through a wood; Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds:

thorny

And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,
So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.
Lord. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a
lord:

Thou hast a lady far more beautiful
Thán any woman in this waning age.

1 Serv. And, till the tears, that she hath shed
for thee,

Like envious floods, o'er-ran her lovely face,
She was the fairest creature in the world;
And yet she is inferior to none.

Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?
Or do I dream? or have I dream'd till now?
I do not sleep: I sec, I hear, I speak;
smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things:-
Upon my life, I am a lord, indeed;
And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.-
Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;

quarts:

Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.
Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house.
3 Serv.. Why, sir, you know no house, nor no
such maid;

Nor no such men, as you have reckon'd up,-
As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,
And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell;
And twenty more such names and men as these,
Which never were, nor no man ever saw.

Sly. Now, Lord be thanked for my good
amends!

All. Amen.

Sly. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it.

Enter the Page, as a lady, with Attendants.
Page. How fares my noble lord?

Madam, undress you, and come now to bed.
Page. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of
you,

To pardon me yet for a night or two
Or, if not so, until the sun be set :
For your physicians have expressly charg'd,
In peril to incur your former malady,
That I should yet absent me from your bed:
I hope, this reason stands for my excuse.

Sly. Ay, it stands so, that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again; I will therefore tarry, in despite of the flesh and the blood.

Enter a Servant.

Serv. Your honour's players, hearing your
amendment,

Are come to play a pleasant comedy,
For so your doctors hold it very meet;
Seeing too much sadness hath congeal'd your
blood,

And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy,
Therefore, they thought it good you hear a play,

Sly. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,

enough.
my

Where is

wife?

Page. Here, noble lord; What is thy will with her?

Sly. Are you my wife, and will not call mehusband?

My men should call me-lord; I am your good

Which bars a thousand harms, and lengthens life.

Sly. Marry, I will; let them play it: Is not a commonty a Christmas gambol, or a tum bling-trick?

Page. No, my good lord; it is more pleasing
stuff.

Sly. What, houshold stuff?
Page. It is a kind of history.

Sly. Well, we'll see't: Come, madam wife,
sit by my side, and let the world slip; we shall
ne'er be younger.
[They sit down.

SCENE I.

Padua. A Public place.

ACT THE FIRST.

Enter LUCENTIO and TRANIO.

Most trusty servant, well approv'd in all;
Here let us breathe, and happily institute
A course of learning, and ingenious studies.
Pisa, renowned for grave citizens,

Gave me my being, and my father first,

Luc. Tranio, since for the great desire I had A merchant of great traffick through the world,

To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,

I am arriv'd for fruitful Lombardy,
The pleasant garden of great Italy;

And, by my father's love and leave, am arm'd
With his good will, and thy good company,

Vincentio, come of the Bentivolii.

Vincentio his son, brought up in Florence,
It shall become, to serve all hopes conceiv'd,
To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds:
And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study,

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The Dramatic Works of William Shakspeare, Volume 1