the chafte Lætitia with exceffive tenderness, was not of that low fniveling breed of mortals, who, as it is generally expreffed, tie themselves to a woman's apronfirings; in a word, who are tainted with that mean, bafe, low vice or virtue as it is called of conftancy; therefore he immediately confented, and attended her to a tavern famous for excellent wine, known by the name of the Rummer and Horseshoe, where they retired to a room by themfelves. Wild was very vehement in his addreffes, but to no purpofe; the young lady declared fhe would grant no favour till he had made her a prefent; this was immediately complied with, and the lover made as happy as he could defire.

THE immoderate fondness which Wild entertained for his dear Lætitia, would not suffer him to wast any confiderable time with Mifs Straddle. Notwithstanding, therefore, all the endearments and careffes of that young lady, he foon made an excufe to go down stairs, and thence immediately fet forward to Lætitia, without taking any formal leave of Mifs Straddle, or indeed of the drawer, with whom the lady was afterwards obliged to come to an account for the reckoning.

MR. WILD, on his arrival at Mr. Snap's, found only Mifs Dofhy at home; that young lady being employed alone, in imitation of Penelope, with her thread or worsted; only with this difference, that whereas Penelope unravelled by night what she had knit, or wove, or fpun by day, fo what our young heroine unravelled by day, fhe knit again by night. In fhort, fhe was mending a pair of blue ftockings with red clocks: a circumftance which, perhaps, we might have omitted, had it not served to shew that there are still fome ladies of this age, who imitate the fimplicity of the antients.

WILD immediately afked for his beloved, and was informed, that fhe was not at home. He then enquired where she was to be found, and declared, he would not depart till he had feen her; nay, not till he had married her; for, indeed, his paffion for her was truly honourable; in other words, he had so ungovernable a defire for her perfon, that he would go

any lengths to fatisfy it. He then pulled out the casket, which he fwore was full of the finest jewels, and that he would give them all to her with other promises; which fo prevailed on Mifs Dofhy, who had not the common failure of fifters in envying, and often endeavouring to difappoint each other's happiness, that fhe defired Mr. Wild to fit down a few minutes, whilft the endeavoured to find her fifter, and to bring her to him. The lover thanked her, and promised to stay till her return; and Mifs Dofhy, leaving Mr. Wild to his meditations, faftened him in the kitchen by barring the door (for most of the doors in this manfion were made to be bolted on the outfide) and then flapping to the door of the houfe with great violence, without going out of it, fhe ftole foftly up ftairs, where Mifs Lætitia was engaged in clofe conference with Mr. Bagfhot. Mifs Letty, being informed by her fifter in a whifper of what Mr. Wild had faid, and what he had produced, told Mr. Bagshot, that a young lady was below to vifit her, whom the would difpatch with all imaginable hafte, and return to him. She defired him therefore to ftay with patience for her in the mean time, and that he would leave the door unlocked, tho' her papa would never forgive her if he fhould discover it. Baghot promised on his honour, not to ftep without his chamber; and the two young ladies went foftly down ftairs; when pretending first to make their entry into the house, they repaired to the kitchen, where not even the prefence of the chafte Lætitia could restore that harmony to the countenance of her lover, which Mifs Theodofia had left him poffeffed of; for, during her abfence, he had discovered the abfence of a purfe containing bank notes for gool. which had been taken from Mr. Heartfree, and which, indeed, Mifs Straddle had, in the warmth of his amorous careffes, unperceived drawn from him. However, as he had that perfect maftery of his temper, or rather of his muscles, which is as neceffary to the forming a great character, as to the perfonating it on the ftage, he foon conveyed a fmile into his countenance, and concealing as well his misfortune as his chagrin at it, began to pay ho

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nourable

J

nourable addreffes to Mifs Letty. This young lady, among many other good ingredients, had three very predominant paffions, to wit, vanity, wantonnefs, and avarice. To fatisfy the firft of thefe, fhe employed Mr. Smirk and company; to the fecond, Mr. Bagfhot and company; and our hero had the honour and happinefs of folely engroffing the third. Now, these three forts of lovers fhe had very different ways of entertaining. With the first, she was all gay and coquette; with the fecond, all fond and rampant; and with the laft, all cold and referved. She therefore told Mr. Wild, with a moft compofed afpect, that she was glad he had repented of his manner of treating her at their laft interview, where his behaviour was fo monftrous, that she had refolved never to fee him any more; that she was afraid her own fex would hardly pardon her the weakness fhe was guilty of in receding from that refolution, which he was perfuaded fhe never fhould have brought herself to, had not her fifter, who was there to confirm what she said (as fhe did with many oaths) betrayed her into his company, by pretending it was another perfon to vifit her: but however, as he now thought proper to give her more convincing proofs of his affections (for he had now the cafket in his hand) and fince the perceived his defigns were no longer against her virtue, but were fuch as a woman of honour might liften to, fhe muft own-and then the feign'd an hesitation, when Theodofia began:

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Nay, fifter, I am refolved you shall counterfeit no longer. I affure you, Mr. Wild, fhe hath the most "violent paffion for you in the world; and indeed, dear Tifhy, if you offer to go back, fince I plain

ly fee Mr. Wild's defigns are honourable, I will "betray all you have ever faid.-How, fifter, (an"fwered Lætitia) I proteft you will drive me out of "the room: I did not expect this ufage from you." Wild then fell on his knees, and taking hold of her hand, repeated a fpeech which, as the reader may eafily fuggeft it to himself, I fhall not here fet down. He then offered her the casket, but the gently rejected it; and on a second offer, with a modest countenance and voice, defired to know what it contained.

Wild

Wild then opened it, and took forth (with forrow I write it, and with forrow will it be read) one of those beautiful necklaces, with which at the fair of Bartholomew, they deck the well bewhitened neck of Thaleftris queen of Amazons, Anna Bullen, queen Elizabeth, or fome other high princess in Drollic ftory. It was indeed compofed of that pafte, which Derdæus Magnus, an ingenious toyman, doth at a very moderate price difpenfe to the second rate beaus of the metropolis. For, to open the truth, which we ask our reader's pardon for having concealed from him fo long; the fagacious Count, wifely fearing left fome accident might prevent Mr. Wild's return at the appointed time, had carefully conveyed the jewels which Mr. Heartfree had brought with him, into his own pocket; and in their ftead had placed in the casket thefe artificial ftones, which, tho' of equal value to a philosopher, and perhaps of a much greater to a true admirer of the compofitions of art, had not however the fame charms in the eyes of Mifs Letty; who had indeed fome knowledge of jewels; for Mr. Snap, with great reafon, confidering how valuable a part of a lady's education it would be to be well inftructed in these things, in an age when young ladies learn little more than how to drefs themselves, had in her youth placed Mifs Letty as the hand-maid (or houfemaid as the vulgar call it) of an eminent pawn-broker. The lightning, therefore, which fhould have flashed from the jewels, flashed from her eyes, and thunder immediately followed from her voice. She be-knaved, be-rafcalled, be-rogued the unhappy hero, who stood filent, confounded with aftonishment, but more with fhame and indignation, at being thus out-witted and over-reached. At length, he recovered his fpirits, and throwing down the casket in a rage, he fnatched the key from the table; and without making any anfwer to the ladies, who both very plentifully opened upon him, and without taking any leave of them, he flew out at the door, and repaired with the utmost expedition to the Count's habitation.

CHAP.

CHA P. IV.

In which Wild, after many fruitless endeavours to difcover his friend, moralizes on his misfortunes in a Speech, which may be of ufe (if rightly understood) to fome other confiderable Speech-makers.

NOT

OT the highest-fed footman of the highest-bred woman of quality knocks with more impetuofity, than Wild did at the Count's door, which was immediately opened by a well-dreft livery-man, who anfwered that his master was not at home. Wild, not fatisfied with this, fearched the house, but to no purpofe; he then ranfacked all the gaming-houfes in town, but found no Count; indeed that gentleman had taken leave of his house the fame inftant Mr. Wild had turned his back, and, equipping himself with boots and a poft-horfe, without taking with him either fervant, clothes, or any neceffaries, for the journey of a great man, made fuch mighty expedition, that he was now upwards of twenty miles on his way to Dover.

WILD finding his fearch ineffectual, refolved to give it over for that night; he then retired to his feat of contemplation, a night-cellar, where, without a fingle farthing in his pocket, he called for a fneaker of punch, and placing hemfelf on a bench by himself, he foftly vented the following foliloquy:

"How vain is human GREATNESS! What avail fuperior abilities, and a noble defiance of thofe "narrow rules and bounds which confine the vulgar; ** when our best concerted schemes are liable to be "defeated! How unhappy is the ftate of PRIGGISM! "How impoffible for human prudence to foresee and guard against every circumvention! It is even as a game of Chefs, where, while the rook, or knight, or bifhop, is buffed in forecafting fome great enterprize, a worthlefs pawn interpofes, and difconcerts his fcheme. Better had it been for me to have obferved the fimple laws of friendship and morality,

"than