legislators, in which he had included himself. It appeared from this table that the amount of such income possessed by each was 0 pounds, O shillings, and 0 pence, yielding an average of the same.-Great laughter. It was pretty well known that there were accommodating gentlemen in the habit of furnishing new members with temporary qualifications, to the ownership of which they swore solemnly-of course as a mere matter of form. He argued from these data that it was wholly unnecessary for members of Parliament to possess any property at all, especially as when they had none, the public could get them so much cheaper.

GRUB.

PRESIDENT-MR.

VICE-PRESIDENTS, MESSRS. DULL AND DUMMY.

"A paper was read by the secretary descriptive of a bay pony with one eye, which had been seen by the author standing in a butcher's cart at the corner of Newgate Market. The communication described the author of the paper as having, in the prosecution of a mercantile pursuit, betaken himself one Saturday morning last summer from Somers Town to Cheapside; in the course of which expedition he had beheld the extraordinary appearance above described. The pony had one distinct eye, and it had been pointed out to him by his friend Captain Blunderbore of the Horse Marines, who assisted the author in his search, that whenever he winked this eye he whisked his tail, possibly to drive the flies off, but that he always winked and whisked at the same time. The animal was lean, spavined, and tottering; and the author proposed to constitute it of the family of Fitfordogsmeataurious. It certainly did occur to him that there was no case on record of a pony with one clearly-defined and distinct organ of vision, whinking and whisking at the same mo

"MR. Q. J. SNUFFLETOFFLE had heard of a pony winking his eye, and likewise of a pony whisking his tail, but whether they were two ponies or the same pony he could not undertake positively to say. At all events he was acquainted with no authenticated instance of a simultaneous winking and whisking, and he really could not but doubt the existence of such a marvellous pony in opposition to all those natural laws by which ponies were governed. Referring however to the mere question of his one organ of vision, might he suggest the possibility of this pony having been literally half asleep at the time he was seen, and having closed only one eye ?

"The PRESIDENT observed, that whether the pony was half asleep or fast asleep, there could be no doubt that the association was awake, and therefore that they had better get the business over and go to dinner. He had certainly never seen anything analogous to

this pony; but he was not prepared to doubt its existence, for he had seen many queerer ponies in his time, though he did not pretend to have seen any more remarkable donkeys than the other gentlemen around him.

"PROFESSOR JOHN KETCH was then called upon to exhibit the skull of the late Mr. Greenacre, which he produced from a blue bag, remarking, on being invited to make any observations that occurred to him, 'that he'd pound it as that 'ere 'spectable section had never seed a more gamerer cove nor he vos.'

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'A most animated discussion upon this interesting relic ensued; and some difference of opinion arising respecting the real character of the deceased gentleman, Mr. Blubb delivered a lecture upon the cranium before him, clearly showing that Mr. Greenacre possessed the organ of destructiveness to a most unusual extent, with a most remarkable developement of the organ of carveativeness. Sir Hookham Snivey was procceding to combat this opinion, when Professor Ketch suddenly interrupted the proceedings by exclaiming, with great excitement of manner," Walker!"

"The PRESIDENT begged to call the learned gentleman to order. "PROFESSOR KETCH. "Order be blowed! you've got the wrong 'un, I tell you. It ain't no 'ed at all; it's a coker-nut as my brother-inlaw has been acarvin' to hornament his new baked 'tatur-stall vots a-coming down here vile the 'sociation's in the town. Hand over, vill you ?"

"With these words Professor Ketch hastily repossessed himself of the cocoa-nut, and drew forth the skull, in mistake for which he had exhibited it. A most interesting conversation ensued; but as there appeared some doubt ultimately whether the skull was Mr. Greenacre's, or a hospital patient's, or a pauper's, or a man's, or a woman's, or a monkey's, no particular result was attained."

"I cannot,” says our talented correspondent in conclusion, "I cannot close my account of these gigantic researches and sublime and noble triumphs, without repeating a bon mot of Professor Woodensconce's, which shows how the greatest minds may occasionally unbend, when truth can be presented to listening ears, clothed in an attractive and playful form. I was standing by, when after a week of feasting and feeding, that learned gentleman accompanied by the whole body of wonderful men entered the hall yesterday, where a sumptuous dinner was prepared; where the richest wines sparkled on the board, and fat bucks-propitiatory sacrifices to learning-sent forth their savoury odours. Ah!' said Professor Woodensconce, rubbing his hands, this is what we meet for; this is what inspires us; this is what keeps us together, and beckons us onward; this is the spread of science, and a glorious spread it is!"

A CHAPTER ON GOURMANDERIE.

OR, A PEEP AT THE RESTAURANTS OF PARIS.

In the highest category of Parisian restaurants, I class seven; the Café de Paris, Grignon's, the Trois Frères, Very's, Vefour's, the Rocher de Cancale, and the GRAND VATEL. Among these the Rocher is said to tower supremely. It stands in the same relation to the others as Taglioni with respect to Julia, Noblet, Alexis, and Leroux; or rather as Shakspeare with respect to Shirley, Jonson, and the other dramatists of that age. Therefore does your Parisian epicure, if he like dancing and dramatic poetry, exclaim, "Time has thus beheld one Shakspeare, one Taglioni, and one Rocher de Cancale." For myself, I cannot altogether accede to this general reputation. In classing such establishments, I am guided by five elements; to wit, cookery, expense, service, company, and apartment. Now in cookery the Rocher is unequalled. In each of the remaining elements it is inferior to some one or other of its competitors. Without going into laborious comparisons, I at once declare that I give a preference to that restaurant over whose entrance are inscribed these monumen. tal words-Au Grand Vatel. The Rocher may be patronized on special occasions; the Grand Vatel I prefer as a regular daily dining house. The former is the Jonannisberg of your gourmet; the latter his Chambertin.

The Café de Paris stands on the Italian Boulevard. Its rooms are spacious, with ceilings of the most aristocratic loftiness; its furni ture is rich; its table-linen is of snowy whiteness; its floor is polished into mirrors; its garçons have clear complexions, and its dame-du. comptoir looks mellow, as if just bathed in cream. Indeed no gentle. man should enter those elegant rooms unless lately from a bath, and in genteel vestments. He will see a company around him of fashionable ladies and gentlemen. Such is the public of the Café de Paris. It is one sphere for the first bringing out of an elegant fashion. Counts, marquises, and bucks dressed for the opera, like to dine at the Café de Paris. It is however in the midst of noise and motion. Those tran quil epicures who would not have digestion molested by street shouts and rattling of carriages, will seldom patronize this restaurant. I have sometimes taken breakfast there. Its omelettes are beyond all praise; I remember them with some emotion. The Café de Paris is one of the most expensive restaurants in Paris. People are pleased to pray for the renown of dining there.

If you would escape the outer-world tumult near the Café de Paris, go at once to Grignon's. It is on the second floor, and its entrance is up a broad staircase in the Passage Vivienne. Grig. non's is an immense establishment, with its twenty large and small dining apartments. The private rooms are often ordinary. Its public hall however has an air of lofty eloquence and well-bred quiet that much impresses you at first. Its thick and heavily-folded window-curtains look almost baronial; and when illuminated by gas, the room is very brilliant. The quiet of the frequenters of Grignon's too often degenerates into mere stiffness and silence.

There is, however, much staring at entrances and exits. When last dining there, I counted six Americans at various tables, and a still greater number of English. There was of course thus far an absence of French abandon. The spirit of the various company seemed to be narrowed and cramped by fastidious ideas of propriety. A transition from Grignon's to a characteristic French café is an emancipation indeed. In the one all is freedom; in the other all chains. The service at Grignon's is extremely slow, -a feature in which it approximates to the gentility of the Rocher. Of its cookery, I remark in general, that the entrées are too highly seasoned for my taste. The entremets and hors d'œuvres are unexceptionable. I confess frankly however, that I am not partial to Grignon's. I have sometimes been discomposed by unpardonable anomalies. Hockheimer has been introduced without the proper-coloured glasses; and it has not been deemed fit to repeat a dinner there, since my coquille de volaille was served up in a silver imitation, instead of the veritable shell from the sea.

The Trois Frères Provençaux is situated in the northern extremity of the Palais Royal. You enter between two statues, whereof one is Hebe holding her emblems. The rooms are not very spacious, though they are adorned with numerous arched mirrors, between which are refreshing pictures of landscape. You may dine there, looking out into the gardens upon one of the gayest summer scenes in Europe. A barometer is suspended near the door, whereby those sensitive in digestion may regulate their diet with reference to any indicated change of weather. The dame-du-comptoir is to be looked at as an image of Mademoiselle Mars; moreover, she will say more good things in one half hour than any other dame-du-comptoir can say in two. Old gentlemen of wit, in the intervals of their courses, are happy to leave their seats and exchange merry sallies with her. Many dislike the Trois Frères, on account of its tables being continuous; they should be isolated. Its carte also is in the shape of a large sheet of paper, instead of a conveniently bound volume. The first time I entered the restaurant, I beheld there dining a vivacious old gentleman, whom the summer before I had known at the springs of Baden as an accomplished epicure. I sat down at table No. 3, with much confidence. You pay pretty smartly for your cookery at the Trois Frères;-but such cookery!

Very's is but a few steps from the Trois Frères. Old Very was long ago a renowned restaurateur; he now rests in one of the Parisian cemeteries. The man who served so many banquets in his day has at last become a banquet. No epicure ever visits Paris without placing an amaranth upon his tomb. There you may read—

J. B. VERY.

Died at Paris, 21st January, 1809.

A good brother, a sincere friend;

His whole life was consecrated to the Useful Arts.

That he should have been a good brother and a sincere friend was the inevitable consequence of his professional education; and when I consider the influences of diet upon the body, and through the body on the heart, and mind, and character, I call his art not merely a useful, but likewise a spiritual one. "Tell me what a man eats," said Charles V. "and I will tell you what he thinks."

Very's salon of the first, like that of the second floor, is magnificent. Taken by itself, it perhaps is not the most extraordinary room in the world; but taken with all its multiplications through twenty immense mirrors, it may safely be pronounced so. It is to restaurants far more than what Veron's fine saloon is to cafés; its floor is of purer marble; its chandeliers are more gorgeous; its mirrors are larger and more numerons; its gilding is more rich, and its arabesques are more lovely. Entering it for the first time when illuminated, I doubt not that you will pause in a sort of rapture and astonishment. No palace from the lamp of Aladdin could have arisen to your fancy, in the splendor and dazzling brilliancy of this fifty times reflected scene. The apartment will accommodate eighty epicures. The plate is in excellent order, and the carte is not only bound into a handsome volume, but also fortified with brass, like those old tomes which are reputed to contain the rarest treasures of human thought. The two dames-du-comptoir are magnificently apparelled, thus harmonizing with the gorgeousness

around them. They possess not the quick wit of the lady at the Trois Frères; indeed they have not the like foils to keep it active and elastic. Very's is said to be degenerating, and a prevailing idea is now embodied in the following formula ;-"the English have spoiled Very's."

Vefour's is next door to Very's. Strange proximity!-distracting with doubt the unaccustomed. The window at Vefour's, so surpassingly rich in game and fruits, often wins away from Very's. Its rooms though smaller are gilded and painted into like dazzling and fanciful brilliancy.

Au Rocher de Cancale! The rock which gives the finest oysters to Europe gives its name to this restaurant. It is situated rather obscurely, at the meeting of the Rue Mandar with that of Montorgueil. There is nothing pleasing about its exterior. Entering a sort of anteroom, about which are fancifully arranged fruits and game, a lady at the counter salutes you. There is nothing here like the Vefour and Very splendour you have just left. At the Rocher is good cooking; at the Rocher there is no magnificence. From that anteroom you pass up winding stairs, meeting here and there a mirror, and everywhere narrow avenues leading into private dining apartments. There is ever something of mystery to me in those narrow avenues; they seem redolent of intrigue. Were there no other history of human nature than what those walls might write, a very significant and comprehensive volume would the world possess. The winding stairs lead you to the saloon in the third story. That saloon is too ordinary for description. It accommodates only fifteen dinners. The Rocher generally entertains private parties. For their reception it has fifteen cabinets. Some will contain four, six, and ten, while others are for twenty and thirty persons. The Rocher garçons are excellent. They catch your slightest whisper. Nothing can be worse than a half-deaf garçon. They are moreover of marble coolness and tranquility. Nothing can be more unpalatable to the eye than a perspiring garçon. The carte of the Rocher is abundant beyond all comparison. Every great restaurant has its crack dish. That at the Rocher in 1837 was Sole en matelotte Normande. The genius which conceived that delicious combination may be pronounced creative, in any comprehensible sense of the