he too is a Paisley man."-" Bless me," says the stranger gentleman, "I think the whole city of Edinburgh is governed by Paisley men." "Not so, sir," says I; "but look down to your right, and you will see a large building; that is the Register Office, and the keys of that office are kept by a Paisley woman. She gets five Edinburgh women in to assist her in cleaning and sweeping it out, but the moment she has done with their services, she sends them about their business, and puts the keys in her pocket, and under these keys are contained the charters of all the nobility and gentry of Scotland-and that's a Pais. ley woman! Now, my lord and gentlemen, after all this would you have me sink Paisley? You have the wealth, but Paisley sends up her sons and her daughters to do honour to your splendid city. Sink Pais. ley! No!-sooner shall Edinburgh become a desert, sooner shall my right hand forget its cunning, than I shall sink my native town of Paisley." Man, if ye had seen hoo my speech was received. Councillor Black and Councillor Adams baith rose, and said I was perfectly right, and they respected me for my sentiments. But the best of a' was, that they cam a' ower to my hoose, and sat till four o'clock in the mornin', me settin' a' amang them, singin' my best sangs, and some o' them have been gude customers o' mine ever since." "The course' of Aiken's 'true love' for the town of his birth was not however destined to run smooth. Late one afternoon, a carriage and four rattled up the Canongate, and stopped exactly opposite Aiken's tavern. He happened fortunately to be in the way, and his wife as fortunately happened to be out of the way. She was ruralizing it at Gourock, laying in a week's fresh air to serve her the year through in Auld Reekie. Two young gentlemen left the carriage, and went straightway up stairs into Aiken's best room, followed most obsequi. ously by two smart veterans in livery. These latter soon retired to the bar, and ordered dinner for their lordships. "Their lordships!' exclaimed Drum; "wha are they, man?' "Young English noblemen,' said one of the footmen," on a visit to Scotland, to spend money and see the curiosities of the place. I be. lieve somebody has been telling them that you sing the best songs of any man in Edinburgh, and they intend to make a night of it with you.' "This was glorious intelligence for Aiken. His heart leaped within him for pride and joy. Nobility in his house!-English nobility!— And they had heard of his talents and genius!-and they were come to spend siller! O, how he wished his wife had been present to par. take of the honours, although at second hand, that were that night to be showered upon him! but he contented himself with the reflection that she would hear all about it in good time. "Dinner was soon got ready, and soon despatched. Their lordships then told Mr. Drum that they had a mind to taste his Scotch whiskey dissolved into toddy. They had been informed by some members of the Scotch peerage, they said, that he, Mr. Drum, was one of the few men in this kingdom who could make up toddy to perfection; they therefore requested that he would take a seat at the table, and consider himself their guest. Aiken acknowledged this unlooked-for honour in an appropriate speech, and then sat down with a splendid bowl before him. Their lordships were waited on by their own servants, so that Aiken had no excuse to rise, and thus was glued to his chair. After a few of the usual toasts, Lord Phoppington rose, and said, "My lud, I felicitate myself on the opportunity which I at present enjoy of standing on my legs, and I propose, with the usual hips, the health of Mr. Aiken Drum, our facetious host and guest.' 666 My Lord Phoppington,' replied his brother peer, 'before I drink this health, allow me to say that I cordially join you in your sentiments of respect towards Mr. Drum.' "They then emptied their glasses, and threw them over their shoulders, one of them unfortunately smashing a handsome mirror that hung upon the wall. This circumstance had a wonderful effect upon Aiken's eloquence in his reply; for this same mirror was an especial favourite of his wife's, it having been a part of her first plenishing. A more lame, a more miserable speech never came from his lips before, or I believe since. With one eye he looked at their lordships, with the other he glanced at the shattered looking-glass. Although he did not allude to the untoward accident, their lordships could not fail to see that it had made a powerful impression on his mind, and they then told him just to put it in the bill. This set matters all to rights again, and now his genius burst forth into singing. He sung all his best songs, and told all his best stories, at which their lordships were hugely delighted. At last so completely exhausted was Aiken with his exertions to please his noble customers, that he fell fast asleep on his chair. Lord Thimblerigg then made a tour through the room, opened the family chest of drawers, and helped himself to a few unconsidered trifles which he found there,-a few old rings, a shabby-looking gold watch, and a greasy pocket-book, which contained a bunch of Robin Carricks.** In the mean time, Lord Phoppington busied himself in making a pair of moustaches upon Aiken's upper lip with a burned cork, and our worthy landlord looked for all the world like a Turk after his siesta. The footmen had been no less industrious than their noble masters. They had contrived to make all the establishment drunk ; and next morning when Aiken awoke, he found that his illustrious customers were gone, lacqueys and all, and that they had forgotten to ask their amount of reckoning. The room in which he had slept all night presented a lamentable sight-chairs broken, tables upset, china bowls and glasses smashed to pieces, the mirror a mere frame, the drawers rifled, everything in the most picturesque confusion. But what was perhaps worst of all, the spirit-casks in the bar had been left running all night, and poor Aiken had to send to a neighbouring publican's for a gill of whiskey before he could get his mornin'.' "It was afterwards discovered, but not until all of them were sent abroad for the good of their country, that the Lords Phoppington and Thimblerigg were writers' clerks from Paisley, and that their footmen were noted swindlers from the same quarter. Had Aiken been conversant with these facts and circumstances before his introduction to the members of the Town Council, it is not unlikely but he might have allowed his right hand to forget its cunning, and with all his heart have 'sunk his native town of Paisley.' In short, he might have been 'WIDE AWAKE. The night had now far advanced, and after a general parting glass of toddy the club separated, having previously made an arrangement to assemble again on an early day. * Mr. Robert Carrick was at one time a celebrated banker in the west of Scot. land; aud in that part of the world, even to this day, a bank note is commonly called a Robin Carrick. |