a-oowin' and scrapin' for five minutes together, till we thought he'd never a done tellygraffin' with his elber. Hows'ever, it did end somehow, and through the harchway we walked; and didn't the sogers stare at us, that's all. What there was to stare at none of us could see, for we wos only dress'd jest as usual, 'cept Long Joe: he'd got his holiday.flower in the bussom of his weskit-a nice sun-flower, as he pick'd up in the Marshy-o-floor (wot they calls their Common Garden) but I suppose they thought we eighteen fellers was a-goin' to take the sittydell ag'in. However, they let us pass, and then up comes the keeper of the place as shows it,-a sarjent he wos, as help'd to make the sittydell surrrender, and he took us all over it. Perhaps you knows wot miluntary works and fortifications is, but for our parts, we'd never seed none afore. I should hardly have believ'd that this 'ere wos the place as they made sich a piece of work about: why, no part on it warn't higher than that 'ere bank, and it seem'd to me to be sloped quite easy to help anybody as wanted to get in; and I said so; but the sarjent he only shook his head and grinned, and told Jack that they forty thousand Frenchmen was pretty nigh a month afore they could git into the innimy's breeches, which, considerin' as Dutchmen has got tolerably large ones, and the Frenchmen is gene. rally nothin' but skinny rips, we thought was onaccountable strange. The sarjent he sackered a good deal, and Jack said it was quite true; so I suppose it wos. After we'd walked round the ramperts and parrypets, and seen the demnyloons and the kivered ways, wot han't got no kiverin' to 'em at all, we went down to the cabbery, or canteen, as stands in the middle of the fortification, and had a snaps' with the sarjent, whose perqu'site it is to sell liquors :-a snaps' you know, is Dutch for summut short,' 'cause it's snapped up in no time, for the glasses warn't bigger nor thimbles. Then he took us to see the bum proof, where General Chass lived during the seige, when the red-hot balls used to rattle ahout his head mornin', noon, and night. It warn't so big as a two-stall stable; but he must have been oncommon fond of n'ise and smoke to have stayed there as long as he did. They say he'd have stayed till now if the powder magazine hadn't been blowed up; but when his ammynition wos gone, why, he couldn't do no otherwise than give in. Some people says he was a hobstinate old dog; but wot's the use o' givin' orders if they're not to be obeyed? It's like my keepin' my time; I could stop at Henley or Maidenhead longer than I do ; both up and down; but wot does my orders say there's your time, and there you must be.'"

6

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"You're quite right, and General Chassé acted, no doubt, on the principle."

"Most like he did; and so does we. Well, sir, when we'd seen the sittydell, we held a sort of counsel of war as to where we should go next; so Jack he said there wos a fair a-bein' held a little ways outside the town, if we wos agreeable to go,-a Queer Mess he said it was. So back we goes to the Place Wert, and there we hires three carri'ges, and crams ourselves into 'em. Jem Worritt he wanted to 'drive one on 'em; but we perswaded him not to bemean hisself by drivin' sich things as they wos; so inside we went, like gen'l'men all right. We warn't long a-going, though the cattle wos rum uns to look at; but after rayther more joltin' than was good for the springs,

we got to the garden where this 'ere Queer Mess was to be. They made us pay two frongs a-piece for admission, and in we walked, and lots of music, and dancin', and singin' there wos surely. The Hantwerp ladies is nice creeturs, sir; werry plump and round built, with plenty of forehand and good goers: they gits over the ground oncom. mon quick, and then they dresses so neat, with nice shoes and stockin's, and black wales, and werry clean made they are."

"And did you dance?"

"Why no, sir, we warn't altogether in dancin' trim, and waltzin' didn't agree with most on us; so we amoosed ourselves with lookin' on and larfin' at the gals as didn't understand wot we said. And rare good fun we had, 'specially in the booths, where they wos a serv. in' out the loving beer,' as they gives on these occasions. It made Jem Worritt a leetle too loving; for he'd had quite enough shampain at dinner, and he couldn't help putting his arms round a young lady's waist as came dancing up ag'in him as she was a-goin' the round awaltzin'. Her partner, a tall whiskered chap, he looks werry black at Jem, and sackers at him, and says, 'God dam,' and somethin' about John Bull. So Jem he ups with his fist, and was just a-going' to let drive in a way as would have sp'ilt his beauty for a week of Sundays, when some on us interferes and lugs Jem away, and perswades him to keep hisself quiet, for we didn't go there for to misbehave ourselves; and so we told him.”

"And did you remain late?"

"We stopped till the fireworks was all over, and then, when the most genteelest of the company went away, we went too; for we could n't afford to be out all night, as we wos a-goin' away ag'in the next mornin' by the same steamer as brought us. So about ten o'clock we gets back to the Grand Buff and has some supper,-not werry onsimilar to our dinner: and artur a glass or two o' brandy and water, we wos a thinkin' o' turnin' in, and told Jack to ask where our beds wos. And what do you think? Why, them Cabberies ain't a-got no beds in 'em-leastways for so many as we wos." "What did you do then? how did you manage?"

"Why, sir, you know there's a sayin' about needs must;' so, as we could n't git any beds, we resolved to do without 'em, and make a night on it for once and away. So we told Jack to order us in lots of brandy, and gin, and cigars, and there we sat, singin' Rule Brit tany,' and 'God save the Queen' all the blessed night, and drinkin' the healths of Gineral Chass, and Mr. Roobins, and the governor, and the pretty gals of Hantwerp, till all was bloo. I'm bless'd if they ever had sich a time of it at the Grand Buff afore, and p'rhaps it 'll be long enough afore they have ag'in. But I say, this 'ere rain won't do, sir; we change osses directly, and then I should recommend you to go inside, for it's likely to be a wet night."

D. C.

MR. PETER PUNCTILIO,,

THE GENTLEMAN IN BLACK.

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BY HENRY MAYHEW,,

AUTHOR OF THE WANDERING MINSTREL,' ‚” “BUT, HOWEVER," etc.

CHAPTER 1.

Ar the window of a private sitting-room in the Bell Hotel, Chelten. ham, stood a young couple, so immediately contiguous, that it was plain to see they were attached to one another.

Suddenly the fair one started from the pleasant bondage of her swain, exclaiming, "See! yonder comes my guardian, as I live! Quick! Hide yourself, for Heaven's sake!"

"Hide myself!" replied the cavalier, retreating from the window. "Egad, if your old governor catch me here, he'll hide me, I'm thinking!"

"Ay!" said the lady, "that he will, with a vengeance!"

"With a stick, more likely !" retorted the gent, who never lost an opportunity for a joke.

"There! there!—don't stand trifling now!" returned his lady-love, "but find some place of concealment, do!"

"That's all very fine, but there's no lodging here," said he. "Where shall I dispose myself?"

"Stay!-I have it!-behind this board!" exclaimed she, removing that which stood before the chimney. "You'll never be discovered there."

"Behind that?" cried the gent, "why, damme! but that will be lodging and board too! and, egad, when I come out, I suspect you have to provide me with washing into the bargain"

"Pshaw !" ejaculated his inamorata; "in with you, and mind you keep yourself quiet, or you'll spoil all," and she showed him the way to his dingy domicile.

"Never fear," replied the swain, entering the sooty recess; "I'll be as silent as an oyster with And the fair damsel cut short the gentleman's simile by replacing the board before the chimney. She then hastened towards her piano, and commenced singing the fol lowing little canzonet, the words of which it is but justice to state had been written for her, to one of her favourite airs, by the gentleman in the chimney.

"Cupid's blind! How came he so?
List, sweet maid, and you shall know.

Constancy and he, one day,
Went a sailing, so they say.
All was harm'ny for awhile;
Well it serv'd time to beguile;

But, at length, young Love grew tired,
And to change the course desired.

'I say, Con,' cried restless Cupid,

This plain sailing's devilish stupid
I'm for turning t' other way;

Come, my girl, now what d' ye say?'
Constancy, who ruled the stern,

Vow'd that round they ne'er should turn.

Nay, she told the little rover,

Sooner than round, they should turn over.
Whereupon high words arose,

And from words they got to blows.
Soon, though Love was made to quail
'Neath the maiden's finger nail,-
For, like maidens in a passion,
Constancy fought clawing fashion,-
And so maul'd poor Love about,
That she tore his eyes both out;
Since which time, the story ends,
Never have those two been friends.

Now, Venus, hearing from above
The sad sobs of little Love,
And, perceiving that his cries
Arose from having lost his eyes,
Gather'd up those orbs of blue,
And at last gave them to you!"

The young lady had but just finished the canzonet, when Mr. Solid her guardian, entered.

"Bravo!" he exclaimed ; " bravo, Cecilia !" (for that was the name of his ward). In high spirits-ch, merry one? Come, this is as it should be! I have something important to communicate to you."

Something important," repeated Cecilia. "Oh, do let me hear it, sir!"

"Well, then," said Mr. S. "first tell me candidly, how should you like to make your debut in the pleasant little comedy of Matrimony,' ch?"

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Why, truly, sir," she replied with naiveté, "I should have no ob jection to throw up the part of The Country Girl,' and appear in the character of The Wife,' provided I felt convinced that my perform. ance would meet with approbation. It must be either a hit or a Miss with me, sir."

"Indeed!" cried Solid; "then, to be serious, I have found a person who I have no doubt will be perfectly to your taste; none of your wild, harum scarum, racketty fellows of the present day, but a steady, rich, middle-aged gentleman. There's a chance for you! What d'ye say to that?"

Why, sir," returned Cecilia, "that the darts of Cupid must be feathered with affection, and not merely tipped with gold, in order to penetrate my bosom. No!" she added archly, the only arrows that can find their way to my heart are those which spring from my own beau."

"From your own beau !" echoed Mr. Solid, "And, pray Miss, who may this beau of yours be?"

"If your steady, rich, middle-aged gentleman were here, do you know what answer I should make ?" inquired Cecilia.

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"A saucy one, I'll be bound," returned her guardian.

"I should say to him," she added, "my beau, sir, unlike those of old, is not yew.'

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Very pretty indeed, Miss!" exclaimed Mr. Solid.

"Very pretty!

But, perhaps, you will be obliging enough to tell me the name of this most favoured swain of yours.'

"Oh, certainly, sir," replied the young lady; "Mr. Frank Forage." "So! Mr. Frank Forage is it, Miss ?" coolly exclaimed Mr. Solid.

“And, maybe, you will now further inform me what are that gentle. man's means of living, for, damme, if I ever could find them out."

"He says he is a man of private property, sir,” replied Miss C. "Private property!" repeated her guardian. "Yes; so especially private, that nobody as yet ever saw anything of it. Egad! he's an independent gentleman in the fullest sense of the word, for hc certainly is a gentleman that has nothing to depend upon.'

"But surely you do not intend to say, sir," remonstrated Cecilia, "he has no fortune at all?"

" On

"I don't mean to say any such thing," returned Mr. Solid. the contrary, I think his fortune very good, for I verily believe the poor devil has nothing but his good fortune to trust to for a dinner every day."

Mr. Solid was right. Mr. Frank Forage, the gentleman in question, and in the chimney, was a professed wit, a being who lived upon his brains, one of those visionaries, who, like the alchemist of old, endeavoured to transmute the base metal of their cerebra into precious gold. "Let me hear no more of this jackanapes, I beg," said Mr. S., "I want to speak to you upon a subject which deeply concerns you." "Well, sir, proceed. I am all attention."

"You are well aware that it was ever the wish of your late father that you should marry into the family of the Punctilios," said Solid. Cecilia confessed that she had understood such to be the case.

"Then I have to inform you that I have received by this morning's post," he continued gravely, "a letter from Mr. Peter Punctilio, a gentleman of whom report speaks most highly, a thorough man of business, the pattern of precision, indeed a perfect human chronometer; as you will perceive when I tell you that he promises to be with me this day exactly at three-and-twenty minutes past four, P. M. There's punctuality for you!"

"It will be indeed!" replied Cecilia, laughing; "if (and she laid a strong stress upon the hypothetical monosyllable) he only perform what he promises."

"IF!" echoed Solid, with an equally forcible emphasis. "What, do you doubt it then? Ah, had you heard but one half what I have respecting his precision, you would not be very sceptical upon the point. Why, he's as regular as the trade winds!"

"But, la, sir!" said his ward, "there are so many little circumstances that may happen to prevent any one keeping an appointment to the minute! for instance, the wheel of the coach might come off."

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Well, then he would take a post-chaise, and come on," replied Solid.

"Pshaw!" ejaculated Cecilia, "one of the horses might turn restive, and throw the post-chaise over."

"No matter!' exclaimed her imperturbable guardian, "it might throw the post-chaise over, but still it couldn't throw him over his time."

"But, dear me!" cried Cecilia, "there are fifty things. He might break his leg by the accident."

"He might break his leg, to be sure." replid Solid; but, neverthe less, he wouldn't break his appointment into the bargain. In short, so convinced am I, from the accounts I have had of his character, that he will be here at the very moment he has named, that, hang me! if I wouldn't stake my existence upon it.”