the promise afore the other folks arrived. Oh, you're a deep old file, that you be !"

"Get the promise of marriage, I presume he means."

'Now, wouldn't thee like the performing on the ceremony-eh, old chap!"

Mr. Punctilio imagined this to allude to the nuptials, of course, and replied, "Certainly; that is the object of my wishes."

"Devil doubt thee," returned Hodge with a familiar poke in the ribs; "thee'd get a pretty penny by it, now, wouldn't thee?"

The gentleman in black thought it like his impertinence, and merely replied, that he supposed he should be no loser by the affair.

"I'll be bound thee wouldn't, cried Hodge; "thee ben't the man to work for nothing, I know."

"Work for nothing!" muttered Mr. Punctilio. "This fellow's impudence is past bearing; but I'll put an end to this." And so saying, he took his card-case from his coat-pocket, and tendering one of his cards to Hodge, said, "There is my card, sir, and be pleased take it up stairs."

Hodge grinned knowingly at his visitor, and, without offering to lay a finger on the small bit of pasteboard extended to him, exclaimed, “I thought it 'ud come to that. So! that be your card, be it ?—and ye wants I to take it up stairs, do 'ee? I'll tell thee what, now, old gentleman, I'll see thee d-d first."

"See me d-d first!" cried Mr. Punctilio; "do you know whom you're speaking to?"

"Ees, to be sure I do; and I tell thee what, old fellow, if thee doesn't take thyself off without any more bother, I'll make thee want an undertaker thyself afore I've done with thee." And Hodge threw himself into an attitude which seemed to forebode a breach of the peace. What is the meaning of all this?" demanded Mr. Punctilio, somewhat alarmed at the hostile appearance of his companion.

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Why, that a man of thy years ought to be ashamed on himself, so he ought, to come here for such a purpose as thee hast.”

"What is my purpose to you, sir? There is my card, with my name and address upon it-will you take it or not?"

"I told thee afore I 'd see thee d-d first-I don't want nothing to do with your card; I knows what's on it well enough-Nicholas Cannibal, or some sitch name, coffin-maker and undertaker-funerals per. formed on the most reasonable terms."

"Nicholas Cannibal, coffin-maker and undertaker! booby mean.?"

What does the

"What! do thee mean to have the face to tell I that thee didn't come here to try and bury miss, eh?"

"Bury miss! I came here," exclaimed the bewildered Punctilio, "to bury no miss, but to marry one."

"What! and thee be'st not one of them undertaking rascals really?'' "Devil an undertaker am I."

"Well, dang it, but this be a pretty mistake o' thine, Hodge," said that person to himself. "Hows'ever, it were quite natʼral you know, master; for seeing you dressed all in black, I in course took you for an undertaker."

"An undertaker! First to be mistaken for a doctor, then a lawyer, and then an undertaker, and all because I happened to be dressed in black-devil take the black, I say!"

thee

"Well, I ax your pardon, sir, for the mistake; but, la bless ye, did look so deadly like one of them death-hunters, thee can't blame I for it. Besides, who'd a'thought thee 'd have come a love-making to a lady who's more like to want a winding-sheet than a wedding. gown?"

"Gracious heavens !—what, then, is the ward of Mr. Solid dangerously ill ?"

"The devil take Miss Hollyhock!" roared out the enraged Mr. Punctilio; "what's Miss Hollyhock to me? Was there ever such a blundering booby as this! I tell you I came here to pay my addresses to the ward of Mr. Solid-can I see the lady?"

"Miss Hollyhock do live here, sir."

"I tell you I've got nothing, and want nothing to do with your Miss Hollyhock. Does not Mr. Solid live here?-answer me that."

"La! bless your innocent heart," replied Dodge, "no. Mr. Solid do live at No. 10, the Bell Hotel, down in the town, to be sure; and I do know, coz missus was took there after the haxident."

"A pretty fool, then, that puppy has made of me, most assuredly,and made me break my appointment into the bargain. It 'ud serve him right if I was to break his head in return.-No. 10, I think you said?"

"Ees, that be it, sure enough. Hows'ever, I'll come with thee, and show thee the very place, if thee likes, for I've got to call at Dr. Po. tion's close by."

"Ah, that will prevent the possibility of any farther mistake. Only show me to Mr. Solid's, and I will make you a present of a guinea." "No! will thee, now? Come along, then; for money do make the mare to go surely."

"Do you lead the way," said Mr. Punctilio. "The stupid dolt!to mistake me for an undertaker-a fellow that puts on black clothes as a pall wherein to bury the joy he feels at other people's woe.'

Leaving Mr. Punctilio to retrace his steps under the guidance of Hodge to the Bell Hotel, let us now return to the apartments of Mr. Solid.

CHAPTER V.

FRANK FORAGE, immediately after he had despatched the gentleman in black on the errand above narrated, sped to the fair Cecilia, and acquainted her with the success that had attended their plans.

The tender couple waited until it was a full quarter past the time appointed by the precise Mr. Punctilio, and then hastened to demand from Mr. Solid the fulfilment of his engagement.

"Well, well," replied that gentleman, "I must acknowledge I am fairly beaten, and I must keep my word, I suppose."

"Yes, sir," returned the vivacious Frank, “you had better keep your word in this instance, in case you should want to give it to any one on a future occasion. That will do, I think, for an extempore."

"Ah!" exclaimed Cecilia, "I thought my good guardian would not hesitate to fulfil his promise. You will give your countenance to our union now won't you, sir?"

"Yes, you will of course give your countenance to our union," said

Mr. Forage," and so put a good face on the matter. Come, that isn't so bad either."

"You are a strange fellow," replied Mr. Solid, smiling at the jocular compliment," and I think your heart is in the right place."

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"Right place!" returned Frank; "I fancy it is too, since my dear little Cecilia has the possession of it."

Cecilia blushed beautiful, of course.

"There, say no more about it," said Mr. Solid.

"Give me your

hand, sir-Cecilia, yours. Take her," he added, joining their palms, ❝and mind and treat her kindly. And now, the sooner this affair is settled, the better," remarked Mr. Solid; "so run you, Mr. Forage, and send Mr. Splice, the clergyman, to me. You know where he lives-only a few doors down the street, and I will arrange the wed. ding-day with him; and you, Cecilia, can, if you like, put on your bonnet and accompany Mr. Forage; for it would be a pity to separate you at this moment."

"Come, then, Cecilia," cried Mr. F. " for I am as anxious for the performance of the bridal ceremony as your guardian himself. The bridal ceremony! Yes! a bridal ceremony it is most assuredly, for it generally puts a curb upon one for the rest of one's days. That will do to go out with, I flatter myself;" and Cecilia, having slipped on her chapeau de paille, Mr. Forage and she hastened towards the priest of Hymen, and left Mr. Solid to his thoughts.

"Well," he said, turning the affair over in his mind," I am fairly caught in my own trap; but, what could have detained Mr. Punctilio I am utterly at a loss to conceive. However, that's his business, and not mine--thought better of it, maybe; and perhaps it is all for the best; for, although I believe Mr. Punctilio to be the more eligible match of the two, yet, as the girl's affections are centred on this rattlebrained but good-humoured flame of hers, I have no doubt her union with Forage will turn out well, and I shall have done my duty to her; and so the sooner the knot is tied, the better. The clergy man will soon be here, and I hope, with his assistance, to be quickly released from the very ungrateful office of catering for the happiness of a giddy, way. ward girl.

A tap at the door cut short Mr. Solid's ruminations. "Come in!" cried Solid.

Mr. Peter Punctilio entered.

"A gentleman in black !" inwardly exclaimed Mr. Solid. "Oh this is the parson beyond a doubt."

I presume," said Mr. Punctilio," I have the pleasure of addressing Mr. Solid.

"I am Mr. Solid, sir,” replied that gentleman. "And, if I am not mistaken, the object of your visit is respecting the marriage of my ward?"

"That certainly is," responded Mr. Punctilio, "the interesting cause of my presence here. Well, thank Heaven!" he added aside, "there can be no mistake now."

"What I particularly wished to consult you upon was the fixing the day for the ceremony."

"Fixing the day for the ceremony! He's in a precious hurry about it!" said Mr. Punctilio in an under tone. "Then, if I understand you rightly, sir," he continued, addressing Mr. Solid, "the lady is perfectly agreeable."

"Oh, certainly, quite infatuated! The object of all her wishes." "Oh, indeed! Well, really this is particularly gratifying. She certainly must have seen or heard of me somewhere or other. The dear creature!" The latter part of this speech was, of course, delivered aside.

"To be sure," continued the guardian, "there was another suitor; but, as he was old enough to be her grandfather, and the girl didn't care two buttons about him—”

"How could she do otherwise?" remarked the unconscious Mr. Punctilio.

Do

-"Why, of course I thought it my duty to accede to her wishes. you think I did right, sir?"

"Oh, perfectly right, sir,-perfectly right; the vain old fool! What could he expect had he married the girl, but that by the time his honeymoon began to wane, the horns would be making their appearance?"

"The horns! How very strange for a man of his cloth!" muttered the astonished Mr. Solid. However, sir, I am glad you approve of

my conduct."

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"Why, sir, I do not exactly see how I could have done otherwise." "You do me honour, sir."

"Touching, however, the celebration of the ceremony, understand me sir," continued Mr. Solid, "although I have no wish that there should be any indecent haste in the affair, yet I do not want it delayed any longer than absolutely necessary. Now, sir, what day would you fix upon? Your experience in these matters far surpasses mine of course. It must be some time since you first took orders?"

66

Why, yes; I've been in business many a year now," replied Mr. Punctilio, thinking Mr. Solid alluded to very different kinds of orders to clerical ones.

66

Ay! and you must have married not a few in your time, no doubt ?"

"I married not a few!"

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Certainly; and had many a child to baptize, of course ?"

"I had many a child !What can he mean?" muttered the bewildered Mr. Punctilio.

"And buried some hundreds, I'll be bound!"

"What the devil is he talking about? I never married any one yet." "The deuce you havn't!"

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No, sir; nor have I ever had a child by anybody, sir."

"You never had a child, sir! Why, I never said you had."

"You did, sir! You said that I had had many a one."

"Yes; but I meant only to baptize."

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Sir, I don't think you know what you mean!"

"What did you say, sir?"

"I said, sir, that I'll be d-d if I think you know what you mean!" “Then, sir, all I have to say is, that a man of your profession ought to be ashamed of himself to make use of such an expression!" "My profession, sir! What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, sir, that Piety seems only your profession, and not your practice! A person like you, who is in the habit of preaching"Habit of preaching !"

66

Yes, sir, I repeat it, in the habit of preaching, and then to give vent to such horrible discourse, must be a sanctified old hypocrite.

"A sanctified old hypocrite! You're a pudding-headed old fool." "Well, I'd rather be a pudding-headed old fool than a pious old rascal !"

"A pious old rascal!" roared the exasperated Mr. Punctilio, who was just about to raise his cane, and inflict summary punishment upon Mr. Solid for the expression, when the door suddenly opened, and in rushed Frank Forage, exclaiming, "Here, Mr. Solid, here is the parson !"

"The parson!" ejaculated Mr. Solid, starting at the two gentlemen in black. "What, then, isn't this gentleman (pointing to Mr. Punctilio) the parson?"

"Parson!" cried Mr. Punctilio. "No, I'm no parson,-nor lawyer,--nor doctor,-nor undertaker neither!"

"Then, upon my word, I have to beg you a million pardons for my conduct. But, you see, being dressed all in black, I naturally mistook you for one of the clergy."

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“D—” Mr. Solid imagined what was coming, and put his hand before the speaker's mouth.

Then came the explanation. Mr. Solid was very sorry, but his ward was betrothed to Mr. Frank Forage. Mr. Frank Forage tendered his humble apologies for the trick he had played Mr. Peter Punctilio, but all was fair in love. And Mr. Peter Punctilio vowed he would return to his counting-house in Change Alley, and never again appear as the Gentleman in Black.

N. B. To prevent "collision," the author of the above bagatelle begs to inform all adapters for the stage that he is at present dramatising it himself.

CHARLES DIBDIN, AND NATIONAL SONG.

WITH A PORTRAIT.

"Take him for all in all, we ne'er shall look upon his like again."

It is not the intention of the author of the present notice to write a biography of the distinguished personage whose name and portrait are prefixed; an attempt only will be made to vindicate his pretensions to a high rank in the two sister arts, of which he has been at once the ornament and national pride-Music and Poetry.

It has been the custom to underrate every claim made (but, alas! too faintly,) by Englishmen, to the possession of an original NA TIONAL SONG. Every other country is allowed to boast not only of the excellence, but of the antiquity of their music :-England alone, up to the present day, has been neglectful and indifferent on the sub ject. A work recently published, however, has sufficiently proved the "popular fallacy" that the soul of song dwells not among us, which has had no other foundation than an apathy to home, and an overweening fondness to everything foreign. There was a time when the guitar held the place of the newspaper in the barber's shop, and music was looked upon as an indispensable part of a gentleman's education. Vincenzo Galilei, the father of the great astronomer,

* Chappel's Collection of English National Music.