2 with the first church of Christ in Middletown was proposed to the church. This being done, and reflecting on the fubject in her retirement, she exclaims, "Is it pof• fible they can admit fo unworthy 6 a creature to Chriftian fellowfhip? Yet the eye of man is nothing-God is the fearcher of hearts, let me abide in his word, and prepare for the important tranfaction which is before me. She then addreffes the throne of grace in manner following. "O Lord God, rectify the dif• order that fin has made in my foul. -Renew my foul in the knowledge of thy grace.-Let me, O my God, be made an heir of glory.-Permit me to be importunate with thee for a bleffing this day's tranfaction.upon I have taken a covenant into my mouth, to give up myself with all my powers and faculties to be thine forever.-Here, on my • bended knees, O my God, let me pay that homage which is due to thee only. These eyes, which look to thee for mercy, will fhortly be closed in death.My original frame is mouldering • back to dust.—O God of Grace, hear me fpeedily, thou knoweft, O Lord, in what I am defective, the importance of my eternal concerns, my frail existence, and by what a feeble tenure my life is fupported-O God, I befeech thee, fhow me thy glory.-Thou haft commanded me to love thee with all my heart, foul, ftrength and mind.-O God, kindle the • facred flame of love in my breast, which knows no other love but thee. I refign all to thy difpofal. I refign my heart and hand to thee. My heart fill with love to thee. My hand employ in thy fervice, though in the meaneft office in thy family. • Command me what thou wilt, O Lord, give me but strength to obey.-I refign my choice, my will, my liberty.—I ask thy love as my inheritance.-Let me not live to difhonour, or bring a re'proach on, thy holy name. Let me not, O my Heavenly Father, grieve thy Holy Spirit. My devotion to God has been mingled with levity and irreverence; O God, enter not into judgment with me, for the best actions of my life cannot bear thy • fcrutiny. O God, in covenant mercy receive me, for Chrift's fake. May my folemn requeft, now figned on earth, be ratified in heaven; and may I awake to the life of a heaven-born foul 6 6 On the Sabbath next following, when fhe first communed at the Lord's table, fhe fays, "Be this 'day folemnly dedicated to that God who is the giver of all mercies, (as oft as ye eat this bread and drink this cup, &c.) This ' inftitution of Chrift is a token of love to his church and followers. O God, when I ceafe to love and praife, let me grow unac quainted with peace. Let my life be a life of felf denial.-Let me learn to be meek and lowly, and may I poffefs a holy ambition to know nothing but Jefus; and be deeply fenfible that no grace can be fupported, but by humil 6 ity of heart and life. O God, fill my heart with faith and love, that I may be enabled to refift the temptations of fin, which doth fo eafily befet me; and let my motto be Holiness to the Lord. How imperfect is this per⚫formance, which I intended fhould be, peculiarly, devoted to God, the fupreme ruler of heaven and of earth. O God, guard me against proud thoughts, againft all felf fufficiency or confidence in any works of my own, -My thirty foul pines for the waters of life.-How long, O Lord, fhall I wander in this de• fert land? Give, I humbly pray thee, give that ray of grace, which fhall thine more and more to the perfect day, and teach me to pray and praife on the receipt of a bleffing fo divine. "My willing foul would stay, "In fuch a frame as this, Father's household who have 'been feeking falvation, and have to all appearance, left no ftone • unturned, where there was any probability of finding the prize they have been fo long wrestling for.-Yet the Lord is gracioushe has fet me as a monument of his fparing mercy, he has ever been drawing me with the tender• eft cords of love ; I am conftrained to cry out Why me! Why me! my heart afpires, my wishes fly beyond the utmost 'bounds of creation, I long to behold thy celeftial glory, and to • drink at thy exhauftlefs pring.In triumph, O my foul, look forward beyond all terreftrials, • when you fhall rejoice in that unbounded love, though the candle of the wicked shall be put out.May I, O God, tread in none of their paths, but ftand as a burning and fhining light, always lean upon the Lord, and ftay myfelf upon my God." "I'll praise my maker with my 'breath," &c. The text for this day's meditation was furely for We learn nothing further of the ftate of this Lady's mind, until Sunday, March 11th, 1792, when in a tranfport of gratitude and praife the fays; "Let the Lordrectly pointing: For with thee is be magnified in all his works and me, Pfalm xxxvi. 9. how di the fountain of life, in thy light ways, and let my pen be employ-ball we fee light. On this great ed upon this important, and, I believe, heart-renewing change. If not, why this ferenity? Why this joy Joy which furpaffes understanding?-I have heard of a change of heart: I have often wifhed to tafte of thefe joys.But my eftimate of a whole life fpent in the love and fear of God, 6 was in comparison nothing, to C one moment I now feel. The goodness of God in lengthening day of the feaft this well of falvation ftands open. 'vation ftands open. If Paul was caught up into the third heavens, my fpirit feems afcending with him. I hear, I fee (by faith) things which are unutterable.Either my height of bliss must be reduced to a lower feale, fuited to a refidence in this earthly ' tenement of clay; or my foul 'must be removed to that celestial world, where the spirits of the just are made perfect.-The light that breaks in upon me makes me pant for more enlargement.-My foul is already on the wing of divine love to prefent (like Noah's ⚫ and foes equally an interest in the Redeemer; for I long to have 'them taste of that love which paf'feth knowledge. • After the fcenes of spiritual delight had got to the height of mortal happinefs, the temptations be'forementioned next fucceeded; and when thofe had reached their limited period, I was restored to a calm unruffled ferenity of foul -no fudden starts of paffion, no ' mixture of envy or difcord rankled in mybreast—all within was harmony and love.--Every breath prayer and praife. But with what 'language fhall I exprefs the ful! 'meaning of my enlightened foul? I cannot, I am fenfible, I cannot give you an adequate defcrip'tion. Come all ye that fear the Lord, and I will tell you what he has done for my foul; I will 'afcribe righteoufnefs to my ma. ⚫ and feal with a loud-Amen." In a letter to a friend, dated April 12th, 1792, fhe fays ;"Dear as your friendship has ever ⚫ been to me, and highly as I value it, I am constrained to fay, I have found that friendship in Deity, which far tranfcends all · earthly friendships.-Many wa6 ters cannot quench that divine love, neither can the fea drown it; my heart exults with the moft ardent praise and gratitude. • How fhall I exprefs my thank⚫ful fong? Yet fince my enlarge-ker, and will now fet my fign ment of foul, I have ftrange and ⚫ powerful temptations from the adverfary to diftruft the divine goodness. But, while I was in the gall of bitterness, in the darkeft moments, the Comforter came. I alfo call to mind the gracious promife, I will not leave nor forfake thofe who put their trust in I will ever praife and blefs his holy name, and not forget his benefits to fo unworthy a 6 worm of the dust. What is C man O God, that thou art mindful of him, or the children of men that thou fhouldest have compaffion on them. me. • After many days of joy and feafting between God and the nobler faculties of my foul, I have no relish for temporal sustenance. The love and praises of the Deity are my delight and my fup· port. I would take the world around me, and carry them to heaven in my arms, wishing friends 7 In another letter, dated the 8th of November following, fhe fays,"If you defire to know what is 'the employment of your friend this day, let me tell you, that the richest ftreams of comfort which have been offered me, on 'the terms of obedience to the Di'vine will, have made me alas, too, too foon, truft to my own 'arm for an enjoyment, which it is God's prerogative only to be'ftow. How fhort-fighted we 'weak mortals are! That which I thought, just now, within my grafp is alas, gone, gone forever. Had I trufted my God more, and my own ftrength lefs, I never fhould have drank the dregs of this bitter cup.-May I learn this early leffon, and keep it ever upon my heart.-The ways of God are right and juft, and if I cannot fathom his wif dom I must ever truft his word, before the Moft High God?joyment-Tell me not of joy or How fhall I make an atonement • fuitable for this offence? Will the offended Deity receive a bro'ken penitent heart? Will he again receive me into favor? Will thefe broken vows of reformation avail any thing? If the heart is ⚫ not fincere they will avail nothing. • Search me, O God, and try, < fee • if there be any wicked way in Let this day be employed in a proper manner, as a day of humiliation, fafting and prayer. Let this day, the laft in the week, be preparatory to the pleafingem'ployment of spending a fabbath of reft with thee in thy fanctuary below, and by fuch opportunities be prepared to spend an eternal fabbatifma of reft with thee and < thy chofen ones above. me. I am just returned from a fune'ral scene.-How much it foftens the heart to fee the mortal remains given back to its mother earth. All that is lovely or defirable muft alike be committed < happiness, there is no fuch thing without my God. All nature cannot repair my lofs. Heaven ' and earth muft ftrive in vain.— But I am perfuaded that neither principalities, nor powers, nor things prefent, nor things to come, fhall ever be able to feparate me from his love. O death, where is thy fting? I fhall yet pafs in triumph through thy dark ⚫ dominions. O king of terrors, through the grace of the Son of God, my Divine conductor, I can fee nothing formidable in thy afpect, but this gentle invitation of my dear Redeemer-Come unto me and I will give you a crown of life. Triumph, O my foul, and look beyond ten thoufand ages. Amen. Hallelujah." 6 The following ardent defires and breathings of foul after God are prefaced with the words, Under the hidings of God's face. "If ever penitence flowed from a believing heart, furely it is at this time. My foul is ready to die within me, my heart is ready to burst, that God fhould, one moment, withdraw his quickening rays. My heart pants for no other good-When I confid6 er my ill defert, I am aftonished that I fhould ever tafte the fweets • of reconciliation with so pure a • God. But to whom but him can I go? Nothing on this terreftrialball can I bring in competition to the cold grave, and the noi⚫fome worm feed fweetly on the clay-cold lips.-Let me reflect a little. If my God is abfent, ev< ery thing around me looks dark and lonefome like this 6 grave.Let me view it on every fide.Has my God hid his face? I grow unacquainted witheafe ; joy and peace are empty namesfounds without harmony.-So would the burial of our friends with thy love.-Let it reign pure | • and unfullied in my breast, give me this and this only without al⚫loy, and I will freely give up all the earthly pomp, parade, luxury, noife and hurry, which at⚫tend on the rich and the great. My foul with longing melts away; when, O my foul, when ⚫ fhall it be, that I fhall quit this tempeftuous fhore, and launch into the ocean of divine love? O ⚫ who that loves can love enough! -In that pure ftate no end of praife, this thought gives unutterable joy. A thousand, thou⚫ fand years rolled away, eternity is but just begun; give me O my God, to drink of these inexhauftible streams of delight. My • Saviour enthroned in glory and majesty, feraphim and cherubim, with veiled faces, bowing before thee-Saints appearing, finners ⚫ trembling to hear their doom ⚫ the forked lightnings darting from • pole to pole-tremendous thun⚫ der fhaking the convulfed earth ⚫ to the centre : O thoughtless ⚫ mortals, how will you then quiv er to fee old Satan pushing you into his yawning gulph! With ⚫ what agonies! and never to have an end! Let me praise thy name, O my God, that thou haft regenerated me by thy fpecial grace; let the divine fpark fhine with luftre in the night of affliction; and, in the hour of death, bear my foul to the realms of everlaf⚫ting blifs." (To be continued.) Sthenia, on the death of Clariffa her young companion in feri oufnefs; with fome obfervations, fuppofing the perfon mentioned in the Hymns, was a young woman who died in Hartford laft fpring, I thought the particulars relative to her triumphant death, would not be unacceptable to lier serious friends, nor to any true lovers of vital piety. They must operate as a means to quicken the Christian, and as a powerful evidence to convince the unbelieving, and obsti nate, of the reality of religion; and also show the kind care, and indulgent goodness, of the blessed Saviour to his faithful followers and to the lambs of his flock; and the power of his free grace, how it will triumph notwithstanding the oppofition of fin and Satan. Without further preface, I fhall give you the account in the words of my friend, who communicated it to me, and fubmit it to your difcretion, praying that all our lives may be like hers, and our deaths as pleasant. Yours, &c. AMICUS. I SIR, Now fet myself to comply with your request, and shall furnish you with all the particulars of the death of Clariffa worthy of record, with a brief sketch of her life. "Clariffa, before her converfion was of an active, humane and gentle temper, and poffeffed of a clear mind and good judgment; and after converfion, it was her great concern, how he could do good to the fouls of her fellow creatures. In short she was so intent on the glory of God, and the good of men, that, her own hapfec-pinefs feemed a fecondary object with her. The love of Chrift in TO THE EDITORS OF THE CONNECTICUT EVANGELICAL AZINE. GENTLEMEN, OBSERVING, in the MAG ond number of ufeful Magyour azine, a couple of Hymns, by her foul, was too ftrong to be re VOL. I. No 4. U |