Squire Sullen-Late! that's the reason I can't go to bed.— Come, sir! [Exeunt. Enter SQUIRE SULLEN. Squire Sullen-What's all this? They tell me, spouse, that you had like to have been robbed. Mrs. Sullen-Truly, spouse, I was pretty near it — had not these gentlemen interposed. Squire Sullen-How came these gentlemen here? Mrs. Sullen [to the others]. That's his way of returning thanks, you must know. Foigard-Aye, but upon my conshience de question be àpropos for all dat. Sir Charles-You promised last night, sir, that you would deliver your lady to me this morning. Squire Sullen-Hump? Archer Hump! what do you mean by Hump? - Sir, you shall deliver her. In short, sir, we have saved you and your family; and if you are not civil, we'll unbind the rogues, join with 'em, and set fire to your house. What does the man mean? Not part with his wife! Foigard-Arra, not part wid your wife! Upon my shoul, de man dosh not understand common shivility. Mrs. Sullen-Hold, gentlemen, all things here must move by consent. Compulsion would spoil us. Let my dear and I talk the matter over, and you shall judge it between us. Squire Sullen-Let me know first, who are to be our judges. — Pray, sir, who are you? Sir Charles-I am Sir Charles Freeman, come to take away your wife. Squire Sullen-And you, good sir? Aimwell-Thomas, Viscount Aimwell, come to take away your sister. Squire Sullen - And you, pray, sir? Squire Sullen-To take away my mother, I hope. - Gentlemen, you're heartily welcome. I never met with three more obliging people since I was born. And now, my dear, if you please, you shall have the first word. Archer And the last, for five pounds. Squire Sullen - Rib. [Aside. Mrs. Sullen-How long have you been married? Squire Sullen-By the almanac, fourteen months; but by my account, fourteen years. Mrs. Sullen-'Tis thereabout by my reckoning. Foigard-Upon my conshience, dere accounts vil agree. Sir Charles-And have you succeeded? Squire Sullen-No. Archer The condition fails of his side. - Pray, madam, what did you marry for? Mrs. Sullen-To support the weakness of my sex by the strength of his, and to enjoy the pleasures of an agreeable society. Sir Charles-Are your expectations answered? Foigard-Arra, honeys, a clear caase, a clear caase! ment? What are the bars to your mutual content Mrs. Sullen-In the first place, I can't drink ale with him. Squire Sullen-Nor can I drink tea with her. Mrs. Sullen-I can't hunt with you. Squire Sullen-Nor can I dance with you. Mrs. Sullen Have we not been a perpetual offense to each othera gnawing vulture at the heart! Squire Sullen - A frightful goblin to the sight. Mrs. Sullen-A porcupine to the feeling. Squire Sullen-Perpetual wormwood to the taste. Mrs. Sullen-Is there on earth a thing we can agree in? Squire Sullen-Yes-to part. Mrs. Sullen- With all my heart. Squire Sullen - Your hand. Mrs. Sullen - Here. Squire Sullen- These hands joined us, these shall part us— Away Squire Sullen-South; far as the poles asunder. BICKERSTAFF ON PARTRIDGE. BY JONATHAN SWIFT. [JONATHAN SWIFT: the greatest English prose satirist; born in Dublin, November 30, 1667; died October 19, 1745. He was graduated from Trinity College, Dublin; was for many years secretary to Sir William Temple in England, and in 1695 became a priest, being made dean of St. Patrick's in 1713. From the beginning of his literary career his brilliant and iconoclastic satires attracted attention in the literary world, his writings, though often coarse and usually brutal, being always powerful and artistic. His more famous works include: "Battle of the Books" (1697), "Tale of a Tub" (1704), "Argument to prove the Inconvenience of abolishing Christianity" (1708), "Project for the Advancement of Religion" (1708), "Sentiments of a Church of England Man" (1708), "Conduct of the Allies" (1711), "Advice to the October Club" (1712), "Remarks on the Barrier Treaty" (1712), “Cadenus and Vanessa " (1713), "Public Spirit of the Whigs" (1714), "Drapier's Letters" (1724), "Gulliver's Travels " (1726), and "A Modest Proposal" (1729).] [PARTRIDGE was a slender-witted fortune-teller and "astrologer," whom Swift, Yalden, and that group were perpetually "guying." The pamphlet below was ostensibly issued by "Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., Astrologer.” PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 1708. I HAVE considered the gross abuse of astrology in this kingdom, and upon debating the matter with myself, I could not possibly lay the fault upon the art, but upon those gross impostors who set up to be the artists. I know several learned men have contended that the whole is a cheat; that it is absurd and ridiculous to imagine the stars can have any influence at all upon human actions, thoughts, or inclinations; and whoever has not bent his studies that way may be excused for thinking so, when he sees in how wretched a manner that noble art is treated by a few mean, illiterate traders between us and the stars; who import a yearly stock of nonsense, lies, folly, and impertinence, which they offer to the world as genuine from the planets, though they descend from no greater a height than their own brains. I intend in a short time to publish a large and rational defense of this art, and therefore shall say no more in its justification at present, than that it hath been in all ages defended by many learned men, and among the rest by Socrates himself, whom I look upon as undoubtedly the wisest of uninspired mortals to which if we add that those who have condemned |