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family affairs, a little boy at the lower end as from real evils. I have known the shoot of the table told her, that he was to go into ing of a star spoil a night's rest; and have join-hand on Thursday. “Thursday!' says seen a man in love grow pale, and lose his she, No, child, if it please God, you shall appetite, upon the plucking of a merrynot begin upon Childermas-day; tell your thought. Å screech-owl at midnight has writing-master that Friday will be soon alarmed a family more than a band of rubenough.' I was reflecting with myself on bers; nay, the voice of a cricket hath struck the oddness of her fancy, and wondering more terror than the roaring of a lion. that any body would establish it as a rule, There is nothing so inconsiderable, which to lose a day in every week. In the midst may not appear dreadful to an imagination of these my musings, she desired me to that is filled with omens and prognostics. reach her a little salt upon the point of my | A rusty nail, or a crooked pin, shoot up into knife, which I did in such a trepidation and prodigies. hurry of obedience, that I let it drop by the I remember I was once in a mixt assemwar; at which she immediately startled, bly, that was full of noise and mirth, when and said it fell towards her. Upon this I on a sudden an old woman unluckily oblooked very blank; and, observing the con- served there were thirteen of us in compacern of the whole table, began to consider ny. The remark struck a panic terror into myself, with some confusion, as a person several who were present, insomuch that that had brought a disaster upon the fami-lone or two of the ladies were going to leave ly. The lady, however, recovering herself the room; but a friend of mine taking notice after a little space, said to her husband, that one of our female companions was big with a sigh, My dear, misfortunes never with child, affirmed there were fourteen in come single.' My friend, I found, acted the room, and that instead of portending one but an under part at his table, and being a of the company should die, it plainly foreman of more good-nature than understand- told one of them should be born. Had not my ing, thinks himself obliged to fall in with friend found this expedient to break the all the passions and humours of his yoke-omen, I question not but half the women in fellow. Do not you remember, child,' the company would have fallen sick that says she, that the pigeon-house fell the very night. very afternoon that our careless wench spilt! An old maid, that is troubled with the the salt upon the table? Yes,' says he, vapours, produces infinite disturbances of
my dear, and the next post brought us an this kind among her friends and neighbours, account of the battle of Almanza.' The I know a maiden aunt, of a great family, reader may guess at the figure I made, who is one of these antiquated Sybils, that after having done all this mischief. I de- forebodes and prophesies from one end of spatched my dinner as soon as I could, with the year to the other. She is always seeing my usual taciturnity; when, to my utter apparitions and hearing death-watches; and confusion, the lady seeing me quitting my was the other day almost frighted out of knife and fork, and laying them across one her wits by the great house-dog, that howlad another upon my plate, desired me that I in the stable at the time when she lay ill would humour her so far as to take them of the tooth-ache. Such an extravagant out of that figure, and place them side by cast of mind engages multitudes of people, side. What the absurdity was which I had not only in impertinent terrors, but in sucommitted I did not know, but I suppose pernumerary duties of life; and arises from there was some traditionary superstition in that fear and ignorance which are natural it; and therefore, in obedience to the lady | to the soul of man. The horror, with which of the house, I disposed of my knife and we entertain the thoughts of death, (or infork in two parallel lines, which is the deed of any future evil) and the uncertainty figure I shall always lay them in for the of its approach, fill a melancholy mind with future, though I do not know any reason innumerable apprehensions and suspicions, for it.
and consequently dispose it to the observaIt is not difficult for a man to see that a tion of such groundless prodigies and preperson has conceived an aversion to him. dictions. For as it is the chief concern of For my own part, I quickly found by the wise men to retrench the evils of life by the lady's looks, that she regarded me as a reasonings of philosophy; it is the employvery odd kind of fellow, with an unfortu- ment of fools to multiply them by the sentinate aspect. For which reason I took my ments of superstition. leave immediately after dinner and with For my own part, I should be very much drew to my old lodgings. Upon my return troubled 'were I endowed with this divining home, I fell into a profound contemplation quality, though it should inform me truly on the evils that attend these superstitious of every thing that can befal me. I would follies of mankind; how they subject us to not articipate the relish of any happiness, imaginary afflictions, and additional sor- nor feel the weight of any misery, before it rows, that do not properly come within actually arrives. our lot. As if the natural calamities of life I know but one way of fortifying my soul were not sufficient for it, we turn the most against these gloomy presages and terrors indifferent circumstances into misfortunes, of mind, and that is, by securing to myself and suffer as much from trifling accidents, the friendship and protection of that Being
who disposes of events, and governs futurity. | must let you know, that the design of this
ter: besides that their numbers are so very
to rout our whole fraternity, though we No. 8.] Friday, March 9, 1710-11.
were accompanied with our guard of con
stables. Both these reasons, which secure At Venus obscuro gradientes aere sepsit,
them from our authority, make them obEt multo nebulæ circum Dea fudit amictu,
noxious to yours; as both their disguise and Cernere ne quis eos
Virg. Æn. i. 415
their numbers will give no particular perThey march obscure, for Venus kindly shrouds
son reason to think himself affronted by you. With mists their persons, and involves in clouds.
| “If we are rightly informed, the rules I SHALL here communicate to the world th
world that are observed by this new society, are a couple of letters, which I believe will
will wonderfully contrived for the advancement give the reader as good an entertainment as of
of cuckoldóm. The women either come by any that I am able to furnish him with, and themselves, or are introduced by friends, therefore shall make no apology for them:
who are obliged to quit them, upon their
first entrance, to the conversation of any To the Spectator, &c.
body that addresses himself to them. There “SIR,
are several rooms where the parties may I am one of the directors of the society retire, and if they please, show their faces for the reformation of manners, and there- by consent. Whispers, squeezes, nods, and fore think myself a proper person for your embraces, are the innocent freedoms of the correspondence. I have thoroughly ex- place. In short, the whole design of this amined the present state of religion in libidinous assembly seems to terminate in Kreat Britain, and am able to acquaint you assignations and intrigues; and I hope you wi:h the predominant vice of every market will take effectual methods, by your public town in the whole island. I can tell you the advice and admonitions, to prevent such a progress that virtue has made in all our promiscuous multitude of both sexes from cities, boroughs, and corporations; and know meeting together in so clandestine a manner. as well the evil practices that are commit
I am, ted in Berwick or Exeter, as what is done "Your humble servant, and fellow-labourer, in my own family. In a word, Sir, I have
«T. B.' my correspondents in the remotest parts of the nation, who send me up punctual ac
Not long after the perusal of this letter, counts, from time to time, of all the little I received another upon the same subject; irregularities that fall under their notice in which, by the date and style of it, I take to their several districts and divisions.
be written by some young templar: 'I am no less acquainted with the par- Sir,
Middle Temple, 1710-11. ticular quarters and regions of this great When a man has been guilty of any vice town, than with the different parts and dis- or folly, I think the best atonement he can tributions of the whole nation. I can de- make for it, is to warn others not to fall into scribe every parish by its impieties, and the like. In order to this I must acquaint can tell you in which of our streets lewd you, that some time in February last I went ness prevails, which gaming has taken to the Tuesday's masquerade. Upon my possession of, and where drunkenness has first going in I was attacked by half a dozen got the better of them both. When I am female quakers, who seemed willing to disposed to raise a fine for the poor, I know adopt me for a brother; but upon a nearer the lanes and alleys that are inhabited by examination I found they were a sisterhood common swearers. When I would encou- of coquettes, disguised in that precise habit. rage the hospital of Bridewell, and improve I was soon after taken out to dance, and as the hempen manufacture, I am very well I fancied, by a woman of the first quality, acquainted with all the haunts and resorts for she was very tall, and moved gracefully; of female night-walkers.
| As soon as the minuet was over, we ogled "After this short account of myself, Il one another through our masks; and as
am very well read in Waller, I repeated to of folding doors. If a candidate for this cor. her the four following verses out of his poem pulent club could make his entrance through to Vandyke:
the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; " The heedless lover does not know
but if he stuck in the passage, and could
| doors were immediately thrown open for I pronounced these words with such a
his reception, and he was saluted as a bro
a ther. I have heard that this club, though languishing air, that I had some reason to
Slit consisted but of fifteen persons, weighed conclude I had made a conquest. She told
above three tons. me that she hoped my face was not akin to
| In opposition to this society, there sprung my tongue, and looking upon her watch, I
up another composed of scarecrows and accidentally discovered the figure of a coro
o skeletons, who, being very meagre and enaet on the back part of it. I was so trans- | vious, did all they could to thwart the des pored with the thought of such an amour, I signs of their bulky brethren, whom they that I plied her from one room to another;
represented as men of dangerous principles; with all the gallantries I could invent; and
till at length they worked them out of the at length brought things to so happy an
an favour of the people, and consequently out issue, that she gave me a private meeting
of the magistracy. These factions tore the the next day, without page or footman, coach or equipage. My heart danced in
corporation in pieces for several years, till
at length they came to this accommodation: raptures; but I had not lived in this golden
that the two bailiffs of the town should be dream above three days, before I found
annually chosen out of the two clubs; by good reason to wish that I had continued
which means the principal magistrates are true to my laundress. I have since heard, by a very great accident, that this fine lady
at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and
one lean. does not live far from Covent-garden, and
Every one has heard of the club, or rathat I am not the first cully whom she has
ther the confederacy of the Kings. This passed herself upon for a countess.
grand alliance was formed a little after the ** Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken
return of King Charles the Second, and ada cloud for a Juno; and if you can make any
mitted into it men of all qualities and prouse of this adventure, for the benefit of
fessions, provided they agreed in the surthose who may possibly be as vain young
name of King, which, as they imagined, coxcombs as myself, I do most heartily give
sufficiently declared the owners of it to be you leave. I am, Sir,
altogether untainted with republican and Your most humble admirer,
anti-monarchical principles. •B. L.'
A christian name has likewise been often
used as a badge of distinction, and made the I design to visit the next masquerade
occasion of a club. That of the Georges, myself, in the same habit I wore at Grand
which used to meet at the sign of the Cairo; and till then shall suspend my judg
George, on St. George's day, and swear ment of this midnight entertainment. C.
* Before George,' is still fresh in every one's memory.
There are at present, in several parts of No. 9.] Saturday, March 10, 1710-11. this city, what they call street-clubs, in -Tigris agit rabida cum tigride pacem
which the chief inhabitants of the street Perpetuam: sævis inter se convenit ursis.
converse together every night. I rememJuv. Sat. xv. 163.
ber, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Tizer with tiger, bear with bear you'll find
Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend In leagues offensive and defensive join'd. Tate.
that quarter of the town, told me, there Max is said to be a sociable animal, and, was at that time a very good club in it; he as an instance of it, we may observe, that also told me, upon further discourse with we take all occasions and pretences of form- him, that two or three noisy country ing ourselves into those little nocturnal as- l’squires, who were settled there the year semblies, which are commonly known by before, had considerably sunk the price of the name of clubs. When a set of men find house-rent; and that the club (to prevent themselves agree in any particular, though the like inconveniencies for the future) had never so trivial, they establish themselves thoughts of taking every house that became into a kind of fraternity and meet once or vacant into their own hands, till they had twice a week, upon the account of such a fan- found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature tastic resemblance. I know a considerable and good conversation. market-town, in which there was a club of The Hum-Drum club, of which I was fat men, that did not come together (as you formerly an unworthy member, was made may well suppose) to entertain one another up of very honest gentlemen, of peaceable with sprightliness and wit, but to keep one dispositions, that used to sit together, dnother in countenance. The room where smoke their pipes, and say nothing, till midthe club met was something of the largest, night. The Mum club (as I am informed) iad had two entrances, the one by a door is an institution of the same nature, and as ka moderate size, and the other by a pair great an enemy to noise.
After these two innocent societies, I can- | Rules to be observed in the Two-penny not forbear mentioning a very mischievous Club, erected in this place, for the preone, that was erected in the reign of King servation of friendship and good neighCharles the second: I mean the club of bourhood. duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The presi
I. Every member at his first coming in
shall lay down his two-pence. dent of it was said to have killed half a do
II. Every member shall fill his pipe out zen in single combat; and as for the other
of his own box. members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was
III. If any member absents himself he
shall forfeit' a penny for the use of the likewise a side-table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambi
club, unless in case of sickness or imprison
ment. tion of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club,
IV. If any member swears or curses, his consisting only of men of honour, did not
did not neighbour may give him a kick upon the
shins. continue long, most of the members of it
V. If any member tells stories in the club being put to the sword, or hanged, a little
Le that are not true, he shall forfeit for every after its institution. Our modern celebrated clubs are found
third lie an half-penny. ed upon eating and drinking, which are
| VI. If any member strikes another
wrongfully he shall pay his club for him. points wherein most men agree, and in
| . VII. If any member brings his wife into which the learned and the illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the
the club, he shall pay for whatever she
drinks or smokes. buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-cat* itself is said to have taken its om. I fetch him home from the club. she shall
VIII. If any member's wife comes to ginal from a mutton-pie. The Beef-steakt! and October clubs are neither of them |
speak to him without the door. averse to eating and drinking, if we may
IX. If any member calls another a cuck
old, he shall be turned out of the club. form a judgment of them from their respective titles..
X. None shall be admitted into the club When men are thus knit together, by al
that is of the same trade with any member
of it. love of society, not a spirit of faction, and "Vi No
a XI. None of the club shall have his do not meet to censure or annoy those that
| clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a are absent, but to enjoy one another; when
brother member. they are thus combined for their own im
XII. No non-juror shall be capable of provement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business
being a member. of the day, by an innocent and cheerful con- ! The morality of this little club is guarded versation, there may be something very by such wholesome laws and penalties, useful in these little institutions and esta- that I question not but my reader will be blishments.
as well pleased with them as he would I cannot forbear concluding this paper have been with the Leges Convivales of with a scheme of laws that I met with upon Ben Jonson, the regulations of an old a wall in a little alehouse. How I came Roman club, cited by Lipsius, or the rules thither I may inform my reader at a more of a Symposium in an ancient Greek auconvenient time. These laws were enact- thor. ed by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as there is something in them which gives us a pretty picture of low life, I shall tran
No. 10.] Monday, March 12, 1710-11. scribe them word for word.
Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum,
Atque illum in præceps prono rapit alveus amni. * This club, which took its name from Christopher
Virg. Georg. i. v. 201. Cat, the maker of their mutton.pies, was originally formed in Shire-lane, about the time of the trial of the So the boat's brawny crew the current stem, seven bishops, for a little free evening conversation, And slow advancing, struggle with the stream: but in Queen Anne's reign comprehended above forty But if they slack their hands, or cease to strive, noblemen and gentlemen of the first rank, all firm Then down the flood with headlong haste they drive. friends to the Hanoverian succession. The verses for
Dryden. their toasting glasses were written by Garth, and the Portraits of all its members painted by Kneller, who
It is with much satisfaction that I hear was himself one of their number; hence all portraits of the same dimensions are at this time known by the
these my papers, and receiving my mornname of Kit Cat. Jacob Tonson, the bookseller, was their secretary, and built a gallery at his house at Barn
| ing lectures with a becoming seriousness Elms, for the reception of the pictures, and where the
that club occasionally held its meetings From Tonson, I
on, there are already three thousand of them this valuable collection has come by inheritance to Samuel Baker, Esq. of Hertingfordbury, near Hertford. of this club, it is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only I to
aper which I woman belonging to it, was president; Richard Est. court, the comedian, was their provedore, and as an
ht, was president; Richard Est. I look upon as a modest computation, I may honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron
| reckon about threescore thousand disciples of gold hung round his neck with a green silk riband.
will take care to distinguish themselves from There is another set of men that I must the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and likewise lay a claim to, whom I have lately inattentive brethren. Since I have raised called the blanks of society, as being altoto myself so great an audience, I shall spare gether unfurnished with ideas, till the buno pains to make their instruction agree-siness and conversation of the day has supable, and their diversion useful. For which plied them. I have often considered those reasons I shall endeavour to enliven mo- poor souls with an eye of great commiserarality with wit, and to temper wit with tion, when I have heard them asking the morality, that my readers may, if possible, first man they have met with, whether both ways find their account in the specu- there was any news stirring? and by that lation of the day. And to the end that means gathering together materials for their virtue and discretion may not be thinking. These needy persons do not know short, transient, intermitting starts of what to talk of, till about twelve o'clock in thought, I have resolved to refresh their me- the morning; for by that time they are mories from day to day, till I have recover pretty good judges of the weather, know ed them out of that desperate state of vice which way the wind sits, and whether the and folly into which the age is fallen. The Dutch mail be come in. As they lie at the mind that lies fallow but a single day, mercy of the first man they meet, and are sprouts up in follies that are only to be kill-grave or impertinent all the day long, aced by a constant and assiduous culture. It cording to the notions which they have was said of Socrates, that he brought phi- imbibed in the morning, I would earnestly losophy down from heaven, to inhabit entreat them not to stir out of their chamamong men; and I shall be ambitious to bers till they have read this paper, and do have it said of me that I have brought phi- | promise them that I will daily instil into losophy out of closets and libraries, schools, them such sound and wholesome sentiand colleges, to dwell in clubs and assem-ments, as shall have a good effect on their blies, at tea-tables, and in coffee-houses. conversation for the ensuing twelve hours.
I would, therefore, in a very particular But there are none to whom this paper manner, recommend these my speculations will be more useful than to the female to all well-regulated families, that set world. I have often thought there has not apart an hour in every morning for tea been sufficient pains taken in finding out and bread and butter; and would earnestly proper employments and diversions for the advise them, for their good, to order this fair ones. Their amusements seem conpaper to be punctually served up, and to be trived for them, rather as they are women, looked upon as a part of the tea-equipage. than as they are reasonable creatures; and
Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well- are more adapted to the sex than to the written book, compared with its rivals and species. The toilet is their great scene of antagonists, is like Moses's serpent, that business, and the right adjusting of their immediately swallowed up and devoured hair the 'principal employment of their those of the Egyptians. I shall not be so lives. The sorting of a suit of ribands is vain as to think, that where the Spectator reckoned a very good morning's work; and appears, the other public prints will vanish; if they make an excursion to a mercer's or but shall leave it to my reader's considera- a toy-shop, so great a fatigue makes them tion, whether it is not much better to be let unfit for any thing else all the day after, into the knowledge of one's self, than to hear Their more serious occupations are sew what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to ing and embroidery, and their greatest amuse ourselves with such writings as tend drudgery the preparations of jellies and to the wearing out of ignorance, passion, sweetmeats. This, I say, is the state of and prejudice, than such as naturally con- ordinary women; though I know there are duce to inflame hatreds, and make enmi- multitudes of those of a more elevated life sies irreconcilable?
and conversation, that move in an exalted In the next place I would recommend sphere of knowledge and virtue, that join his paper to the daily perusal of those gen- all the beauties of the mind to the ornatlemen whom I cannot but consider as myments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe good brothers and allics, I mean the fra- and respect, as well as love, into their ternity of Spectators, who live in the world male beholders. I hope to increase the without having any thing to do in it; and number of these by publishing this daily either by the affluence of their fortunes, or paper, which I shall always endeavour to laziness of their dispositions, have no other make an innocent if not an improving enbusiness with the rest of mankind, but to tertainment, and by that means at least dilook upon them. Under this class of men vert the minds of my female readers from are comprehended all contemplative trades- greater trifles. At the same time, as I men, titular physicians, fellows of the royal would fain give some finishing touches to society, templars that are not given to be those which are already the most beautiful contentious, and statesmen that are out of pieces in human nature, I shall endeavour business; in short, every one that considers to point out all those imperfections that are the world as a theatre, and desires to the blemishes, as well as those virtues form a right judgment of those who are the which are the embellishments, of the sex. actors on it.
| In the meanwhile, I hope these my gen