Enter WILLIAM.

Will. An odd sort of a person, from the country I believe, who calls himself Moody, wants to see you, sir; but as I did not know him, I said you were not at home, but would return directly; "And so will I too," said he, very short and surly; and away he went, mumbling to himself.

Harc. Very well, Will-I'll see him when he comes. [Exit WILLIAM.] Moody call to see me !-He has something more in his head than making me a visit -'tis to complain of you, I suppose.

Belv. How can he know me?

Harc. We must suppose the worst, and be prepared for him. Tell me all you know of this ward of his, this Peggy-Peggy what's her name?

Belv. Thrift, Thrift, uncle.

Harc. Ay, ay, Sir Thomas Thrift's daughter, of Hampshire, and left very young under the guardianship of my old acquaintance and companion, Jack Moody.

Belv. Your companion! he's old enough to be your father.

Harc. Thank you, nephew; he has greatly the advantage of me in years, as well as wisdom. When I first launched from the university into this ocean of London, he was the greatest rake in it; I knew him well for near two years, but all of a sudden he took a freak (a very prudent one) of retiring wholly into the country.

Belv. There he gained such an ascendancy over the odd disposition of his neighbour, Sir Thomas, that he left him sole guardian to his daughter, who forfeits half her fortune if she does not marry with his consent-there's the devil, uncle.

Harc. And are you so young, so foolish, and so much in love, that you would take her with half her value? ha, nephew?

Belv. I'll take her with any thing-with nothing. Harc. What! such an unaccomplished, awkward, silly creature; he has scarce taught her to write; she has seen nobody to converse with, but the country people about them; so she can do nothing but dangle her arms, look gawky, turn her toes in, and talk broad Hampshire.

Belv. Don't abuse her sweet simplicity-had you but heard her talk, as I have done, from the garden wall in the country, by moonlight

Harc. Romeo and Juliet, I protest, ha, ha, ha! "Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious"-ha, ha, ha! How often have you seen this fair Capulet?

Belv. I saw her three times in the country, and spoke to her twice; I have leapt an orchard wall, like Romeo, to come at her, played the balcony scene from an old summer house in the garden; and, if I lose her, I will find out an apothecary, and play the tomb scene too.

Harc. Well said, Dick!—this spirit must produce something. But has the old dragon ever caught you sighing at her?

Belv. Never in the country; he saw me yesterday kissing my hand to her from the new tavern window, that looks upon the back of his house, and immediately drove her from it, and fastened up the window shutters.

Spark. [Without.] Very well, Will, I'll go up to them. Harc. I hear Sparkish coming up-take care of what I told you-not a word of Peggy ;-hear his intelligence, and make use of it, without seeming to mind it.

Spark. O, my dear Harcourt, I shall die with laughing-I have such news for thee-ha, ha, ha! What, your nephew too, and a little dumpish, or so

you have been giving him a lecture upon economy, I suppose-you, who never had any, can best describe the evils that arise from the want of it.-I never mind my own affairs, not I-" The gods take care of Cato."—I hear, Mr. Belville, you have got a pretty snug house, with a bow window that looks into the Park, and a back door that goes out into it. -Very convenient, and well imagined-no, young handsome fellow should be without one-you may be always ready there, like a spider in his web, to seize upon strayed women of quality.

Harc. As you used to do-you vain fellow you; pry'thee don't teach my nephew your abandoned tricks-he is a modest young man, and you must not spoil him.

Spark. May be so ;-but his modesty has done some mischief at our house-my surly, jealous brother-in-law saw that modest young gentleman casting a wishful eye at his forbidden fruit, from the new tavern window.

Belv. You mistake the person, Mr. Sparkish-I don't know what young lady you mean.

Harc. Explain yourself, Sparkish, you must mistake-Dick has never seen the girl.

Spark. I don't say he has; I only tell you what Moody says. Besides, he went to the tavern himself, and inquired of the waiter, who dined in the back room, No. 4, and they told him it was Mr. Belville, your nephew; that's all I know of the matter, or desire to know of it, 'faith.

Harc. He kissed his hand, indeed, to your lady, Alithea, and is more in love with her than you are, and very near as much as I am; so look about you, such a youth may be dangerous.

Spark. The more danger the more honour: I defy you both; win her and wear her if you can-Dolus an virtus in love as well as in war-though you must be expeditious, 'faith; for I believe, if I don't change

mind, I shall marry her to-morrow, or the day after. Have you no honest clergyman, Harcourt, no fellow collegian, to recommend to me to do the business?

Harc. Nothing, ever, sure, was so lucky. [Aside.] Why, 'faith, I have, Sparkish; my brother, a twin brother, Ned Harcourt, will be in town to-day, and proud to attend your commands. I am a very generous rival, you see, to lend you my brother to marry the woman I love!

Spark. And so am I too, to let your brother come so near us-but Ned shall be the man; poor Alithea grows impatient-I can't put off the evil day any longer-I fancy the brute her brother, has a mind to marry his country idiot at the same time.

Belv. How, country idiot, sir!

Harc. Taisez vous, bête. [Aside to BELVILLE.] I thought she had been married already.

Spark. No, no, he's not married, that's the joke of it.

Belv. No, no, he's not married.

Harc. Hold your tongue- [Elbowing BELVILLE Spark. Not he-I have the finest story to tell youby the bye, he intends calling upon you, for he ask'd me where you lived, to complain of modesty there.He picked up an old raking acquaintance of his, as we came along together.-Will. Frankly, who saw him with his girl, sculking and muffled up, at the play last night: he plagued him much about matrimony, and his being ashamed to show himself: swore he was in love with his wife, and intended to cuckold him. "Do you?" cried Moody, folding his arms, and scowling with his eyes thus-" You must have more wit than you used to have.-Besides, if you have as much as you think you have, I shall be out of your reach, and this profligate metropolis, in less than a week." Moody would fain have got rid of him, but the other held him by the sleeve, so I left them;

C

rejoiced most luxuriously to see the poor devil tormented.

Belv. I thought you said, just now, that he was not married: Is not that a contradiction, sir?

[HARCOURT still makes signs to BELVILLE. Spark. Why, it is a kind of one-but considering your modesty, and your ignorance of the young lady, you are pretty tolerably inquisitive, methinks, ha, Harcourt! ha, ha, ha!

Harc. Pooh, pooh! don't talk to that boy, tell me all you know.

Spark. You must know, my booby of a brotherin-law hath brought up this ward of his (a good fortune let me tell you) as he coops up and fattens his chickens, for his own eating: he is plaguy jealous of her, and was very sorry that he could not marry her in the country, without coming up to town; which he could not do, on account of some writings or other; so what does my gentleman? he persuades the poor silly girl, by breaking a sixpence, or some nonsense or another, that they are to all intents married in heaven; but that the laws require the signing of articles, and the church service to complete their union-so he has made her call him husband, and Bud, which she constantly does, and he calls her wife, and gives out she is married, that she may not look after younger fellows, nor younger fellows after her, egad; ha, ha, ha! and all won't do.

Belo. Thank you, sir.-What heavenly news, uncle! [Aside. Harc. What an idiot you are, nephew! And so then you make but one trouble of it; and are both to be tacked together the same day?

-be

Spark. No, no, he can't be married this week; he damns the lawyers for keeping him in town;sides, I am out of favour; and he is continually snarling at me, and abusing me, for not being jea