1. SINGING through the forests,
Rattling over ridges,
Shooting under arches,
Rumbling over bridges;
Whizzing through the mountains,
Buzzing o'er the vale,
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Riding on the rail!
2. Men of different stations
In the eye of fame,
Here are very quickly
Coming to the same;
High and lowly people,
Birds of every feather,
On a common level,
Traveling together
3. Gentlemen in shorts,
Looming very tall;
Gentlemen at large,
Talking very small;
Gentlemen in tights,
With a loose-ish mein;
Gentlemen in gray,
Looking rather green;
4. Gentlemen quite old, Asking for the news; Gentlemen in black,
In a fit of blues;
Gentlemen in claret,
Sober as a vicar;
Gentlemen in tweed,
Dreadfully in liquor!
5. Stranger on the right, Looking very sunny, Obviously reading
Something rather funny. Now the smiles are thickerWonder what they mean? Faith, he's got the KnickerBocker magazine!
6. Stranger on the left,
Closing up his peepers;
Now he snores amain,
Like the seven sleepers;
At his feet a volume
Gives the explanation,
How the man grew stupid
From "association!"
7. Ancient maiden lady
Anxiously remarks,
That there must be peril
'Mong so many sparks;
Roguish-looking fellow,
Turning to the stranger
Says it's his opinion,
She is out of danger!
8. Woman with her baby,
Sitting vis-à-vis ;
Baby keeps a-squalling,
Woman looks at me;
Asks about the distance,
Says it's tiresome talking,
Noises of the cars
Are so very shocking!
9. Market woman, careful
Of the precious casket,
Knowing eggs are eggs,
Tightly holds her basket;
Feeling that a smash,
If it came, would surely
Send her eggs to pot,
Rather prematurely.
10. Singing through the forests,
Rattling over ridges,
Shooting under arches,
Rumbling over bridges;
Whizzing through the mountains,
Buzzing o'er the vale-
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Riding on a rail !
1. A CERTAIN artist, I've forgot his name,
Had got, for making spectacles, a fame,
Or "helps to read," as, when they first were sold,
Was writ upon his glaring sign in gold;
And, for all uses to be had from glass,
His were allowed by readers to surpass.
2. There came a man into his shop one day:
"Are you the spectacle contriver, pray?
"Yes, sir," said he, "I can in that affair
Contrive to please you, if you want a pair.”
"Can you? pray do, then." So, at first, he chose
To place a youngish pair upon his nose:
And book produced, to see how they would fit;
Asked how he liked 'em? "Like 'em-not a bit."
"Then, sir, I fancy, if you please to try,
These in my hand will better suit your eye."
"No, but they don't." "Well, come, sir, if you please, Here is another sort, we'll e'en try these;
Still somewhat more they magnify the letter;
Now, sir!" Why, now I'm not a bit the better."
"No! here, take these that magnify still more;
How do they fit?" "Like all the rest before."
In short, they tried a whole assortment through,
But all in vain, for none of 'em would do.
3. The operator, much surprised to find.
So odd a case, thought, sure the man is blind:
"What sort of eyes can you have got?" said he,
"Why, very good ones, friend, as you may see."
"Yes, I perceive the clearness of the ball;
Pray, let me ask you, can you read at all?"
"No, you great blockhead! if I could, what need
Of paying you for any 'helps to read ?""
And so he left the maker in a heat,
Resolved to post him for an arrant cheat.
1. A FRENCHMAN once, who was a merry wight,
Passing to town from Dover in the night,
Near the roadside an ale-house chanced to spy,
And being rather tired as well as dry,
Resolved to enter; but first he took a peep,
In hopes a supper he might get, and cheap.
He enters: "Hallo! Garcon, if you please,
Bring me a little bit of bread and cheese.
And, hallo' Garcon, a pot of porter, too," he said,
"Vich I shall take, and den myself to bed."
2. His supper done, some scraps of cheese were left,
Which our poor Frenchman, thinking it no theft,
Into his pocket put; then slowly crept
To wished-for bed; but not a wink he slept;
For, on the floor some sacks of flour were laid,
To which the rats a nightly visit paid.
Our hero now undressed, popped out the light,
Put on his cap, and bade the world good night;
But first his breeches, which contained the fare,
Under his pillow he had placed with care.
3. Sans ceremonie, soon the rats all ran,
And on the flour-sacks greedily began ;
At which they gorged themselves, then smelling round,
Under the pillow soon the cheese they found;
And while at this they regaling sat,
Their happy jaws disturbed the Frenchman's nap;
Who, half awake, cried out, "Hallo! hallo!
Vat is dat nibbel at my pillow so?
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