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V. My ears are stopp'd, and cannot hear good news, || is much in a bare Christian. Here is the cat-log (pulla So suet of bad already bath possess 'd them.
ing out a paper) of her conditions. Imprimis, she Pro. Then in duinb silence will I bury mine, can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad.
nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, Pal. Is Silvia dead?
is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk, look Pre. No, Valentine.
you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Vel. No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia !
Enter Speed. Hath she forsworn me?
Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with Pra. No, Valentine
your mastership? Pel. No Valentine, if Silvia hath forsworn me! Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea. What is your news?
Speed. Well, your old vice still ; mistake the word: Lan. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are van What news then in your paper? ishd.
Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st.. Pre. That thou art banish'd, O, that's the news ; Speed. Why, man, how black ? Fra kence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend. Laun. Why, as black as ink. FaL 0, I have fed upon this woe already,
Speed. Let me read them. And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Loun. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not reads Deth Silvia know that I am banish'd ?
Speed. Thou liest, I can. Prs. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, Laun. I will try thee : Tell me this: Who begot (Which, unreversid, stands in effectual force.)
thee? Area of melting pearl, which some call tears :
Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd ; Laun. ( illiterate loiterer ! it was the son of thy With them, upon her knees, her humble self; grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper. As if but now they waxed pale for woe:
Laun. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speedo
Speed. Imprimis, She can milk.
Speed. Item, She brews good ale.
Laun. And thereof comes the proverb, Blessing of Beides, her intercession chaf'd him so,
your heart, you brew good ale. When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
Speed. Item, She can sew. That to close prison he commanded her,
Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she 80 ? With many bitter threats of 'biding there.
Speed. Item, She can knit. Id. No more ; unless the next word that thou Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a speak'st
Wench, when she can knit him a stock? Have some malignant power upon my life:
Speed. Item, She can wash and scout. la I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be As ending anthem of my endless dolour.
washed and scoured. Prs. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
Speed. Item, She can spin. And study help for that which thou lament'st.
Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
she can spin for her living. Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love;
Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Laun. That's as much as to say, Bastard virtues ; Hope is a lover's staff; walk bence with that,
that, indeed, know not their father's, and therefore have And manage it against despairing thoughts.
no names. Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence;
Speed. Here follow her vices. Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd
Laun. Clost at the heels of her virtues. Eren in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
Speed. Item, She is not to be kiss'd fasting, in reThe titne now serves not to expostulate:
spect of her breath. Coac, PU convey thee through the city gate;
Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a And, eer I part with thee, confer at large
breakfast: Read on. Of all that may concern thy love affairs :
Specd. Item, She hath a sweet mouth, As thou lor'st Silvia, though not for thyself,
Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath Regard thy danger, and along with me.
Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. vel. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy,
Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in Bid him make hane, and meet me at the north-gate.
her talk. Pra Go, sirrah, find him out.-Come, Valentine. Tel. O my dear Silvia ! hapless Valentine !
Speed. Item, She is slow in words.
Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices !
[Exeunt Val. and Pro. To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue : I pray Lean. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. it to think, my master is a kind of a knave: but that's Speed. Item, She is proud. el se, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, Laun. Out with that too; ít was Eve's legacy, and at knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a cannot be ta'en from her. t of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Eis I love, and yet 'uis a woman : but that woman, I Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid: yet ’tis || crusts. sota azil, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, Speed. Item, She is curst. she is her master's maid, and serves for wages.
Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. e bath more qualities than a water-spaniel,
-which Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor.
Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will What might we do, to make the girl forget not, I will; for good things should be praised. The love of Valentine, and love sir Thurio ? Speed. Item, She is too liberal.
Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine Laun. Of her tongue she cannot ; for that's writ With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent ; down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not ; for Three things that women highly hold in hate. that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; Duke. Ay, but she 'I think, that it is spoke in hate. and that I cannot help. Well, proceed.
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken faults than hairy, and more wealth than faults. By one, whom she esteemeti as his friend.
Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Re
Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do: hearse that once more.
'Tis an ill office for a gentleman; Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,
Especially, against his very friend. Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore him, it is more than the salt; the hair, that covers the wit, | Your slander never can endamage him ; is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. Therefore the office is indifferent, What's next?
Being entreated to it by your friend. Speed. - And more faults than hairs,
Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, Laun. That's monstrous : O, that that were out!
By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, Speed. - And more wealth than faults.
She shall not long continue love to him. Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: But say, this weed her love from Valentine, Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing | It follows not that she will love sir Thurio. is impossible,
Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Speed. What then?
Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,-that thy master You must provide to bottom it on me: stays for thee at the north gate.
Which must be done by praising me as much Speed. For me?
As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine. Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou ? he hath staid Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind : for a better man than thee.
Because we know, on Valentine's report, Speed. And must I go to him?
You are already love's firm votary, Laun, Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. long, that going will scarce serve the turn.
Upon this warrant shall you have access, Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your Where you with Silvia may confer at large ; love-letters!
[Exit. For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy, Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my let- || And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you ; ter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself Where you may temper her, by your persuasion, into secrets !-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correc To hate young Valentine, and love my friend. tion.
[Exit. Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect:SCENE 11-The same. A roum in the Duke's pal- | But you, sir Thurio, are not sharp enough ;
Enter Duke and Thurio ; Proteus behind. You must lay lime, to tangle her desires, Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love | By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes you,
Should be full fraught with serviceable vows. Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.
Duke. Ay, much the force of heaven-bred poesy: 'Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most, Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty Forsworn my company, and rail'd at me,
You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart: That I am desperate of obtaining ler.
Write till your ink be dry; and with your tears Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Moist it again ; and frame some feeling line Trenched in ice; which with an hour's heat
That may discover such integrity :Dissolves to water, and doth lose his form.
For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews ; A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,
Whose golden wuch could soften steel and stones, And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.
Make tigers tame, and huge leviathans How now, sir Proteus ? is your countryman,
Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. According to our proclamation, gone?
After your dire lamenting elegies, Pro. Gone, my good lord.
Visit by night your lady's chamber-window, Duke, My daughter takes his going grievously. With some sweet concert: to their instruments Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Tune a deploring dump; the night's dead silence
Duke. So I believe; but 'Thurio thinks not $0. Will well become such sweet complaining grievance. Protells, the good conceit I hold of thee,
This, or else nothing, will inherit her. (For thou hast shewn some sign of good desert) Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love. Makes me the better to confer with thee.
Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice :
Let us into the city presently
To give the onset to thy good advice.
Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper :
Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you. [E.re.
Are you content to be our general ?
To make a virtue of necessity,
And live, as we do, in this wilderness ?
3 Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort? 1 Outlaw.
Say, ay, and be the captain of us all : FELLOWS, stand fast ; I see a passenger.
We'll do thee homage, and be ruld by thee, ? Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em. Love thee as our commander, and our king. Enter Valentine and Speed.
1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou dy'st.
2 Out. Thou shalt not live to brag what we have 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about
offer'd. you ;
Val. I take your offer, and will live with you; nat, we'll make you sit, and rifle you.
Provided that you do no outrages Speed. Sir, we are undone ! these are the villains
On silly women, or poor passengers. That all the travellers do fear so much.
3 Out. No, we detest such vile, base practices. Fd. My friends,
Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews, 1 Out. That's not so, sir ; we are your enemies. And shew thee all the treasure we have got ; 2 Out. Peace ; we'll hear him.
Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose. [Ext. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we ; For he's a proper man.
SCENE II.-Milan. Court of the Palace. Enter Pal. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose ;
Proteus. A man I am, erossd with adversity :
Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, My riches are these poor habiliments,
And now I must be as unjust to Thurio. Of which, if you should here disfurnish me,
Under the colour of commending him, You take the sum and substance that I have.
I have access my own love to prefer : Out. Whither travel you?
But Silvia is too fair, too true, too holy, Val. To Verona.
To be corrupted with my worthless gifts. 1 Out. Whenee came you?
When I protest true loyalty to her, Vole From Milan.
She twits me with my falsehood to my friend ; 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there?
When to her beauty I commend my vows, Fel. Some sixteen months ; and longer might have She bids me think, how I have been forsworn staid,
In breaking faith with Julia whom I lov'd : If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.
And, notwithstanding all her sudded quips, 1 Oct. What, were you banish'd thence ?
The least whereof would quell a lover's hope, Vel. I was.
Yet, spaniel-like, the more she spurns my love, 2 Out. For what offence ?
The more it grows, and fawneth on her still. Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse :
But here comes Thurio : now must we to her window, I killd a man, whose death I much repent ;
And give some evening music to her ear. Bat yet I slew him manfully in fight,
Enter Thurio, and Musicians. Without false vantage, or base treachery.
Thu. How now, sir Proteus? are you crept before us? 1 Out. Why ne'er repent it, if it were done so : Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio ; for, you know, that love But were you banish'd for so small a fault ?
Will creep in service where it dare not go. Pol. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. Thu. Ay, but, I hope, sir, that you luve not here. 1 Out. Have you the tongues ?
Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence. Val My youthful travel therein made me happy ; Thu. Whom? Silvia ? Oz else I often had been miserable.
Pro. Ay, Silvia,-for your sake. 3 Out. By the bare sealp of Robin Hood's fat friar, Thu. I thank you for your own.-Now, gentlemen, This fellow were a king for our wild faction. Let's tune, and to it lustily a while. 1 01t. We'll have him : sirs, a word,
Enter Host at a distance ; and Julia in boy's clothes. Speed
Master, be one of them ; It is an honourable kind of thievery.
Host. Now, my young guest, methinks you're ally. Pd. Peace, villain !
cholly ; I pray you, why is it?
Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. 2 out. Tell as this: Have you any thing to take to? Pol. Nothing, but my fortune.
Host. Come, we'll have you merry : I'll bring you
where you shall hear music, and see the gentleman 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen,
that you ask'd for. Sed as the fury of ungovernd youth
Jul. But shall I hear him speak?
Host. Ay, that you shall.
Jul. That will be music, Fier practising to steal away a lady,
Host. Hark! hark ! An heir, and near allied unto the duke,
Jul. Is he among these ? 2 Oul. Am I from Mantua, for a gentleman,
Host. Ay: but peace, let's hear 'em. Whem, in nog mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. i Ouf. And I, for such like petty crimes as these.
SONG. Bat to the purpose,-(for we cite our faults,
Who is Silvia ? what is she, That they may bold excus'd our lawless lives)
Thut all our swains commend her? Anl, parily, seeing you are beautify'd
Holy, fair, and rise is she; With gooily shape ; and by your own report
The hcavens such grace did lend her, A kuguist; and a man of such perfection,
That she might admired be. As we do in our quality much want ;
Is she kind, as she is fair? 2 Ona. Inkerd, because you are a banish:d man,
For beauty lives with kindness : Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you :
Love doth to her eyes repair,
To help him of his blindness :
To wrong him with thy importunacy?
Pro. I likewise hear, that Valentine is deadl.
Sil. And so, suppose, am I ; for in his grave,
Assure thyself, my love is buried.
Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth.
Sil. Go to thy lady's grave, and call her's thence ;
Or, at the least, in her's sepulchre thine.
[Aside. Host. How now? are you sadder than you were be Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, fore?
Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love, How do you, man ? the music likes you not.
The picture that is hanging in your chamber ; Jul. You mistake ; the musician likes me not. To that I'll speak, to that I'll sigh and weep : Host. Why, my pretty youth?
For, since the substance of your perfect self Jul. He plays false, father.
Is else devoted, I am but a shadow ; Host. How ? out of tune on the strings?
And to your shadow I will make true love. Jul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very Jul. If ywere a substance, you would, sure, deceive it, heart-strings.
And make it but a shadow, as I am. [Aside. Host. You have a quick ear.
Sil. I am very loth to be your idol, sir ; Jul. Ay, I would I were deaf! it makes me have a But, since your falsehood shall become you well slow heart.
To worship shadows, and adore false shapes, Hosi. I perceive, you delight not in music.
Send to me in the morning, and I'll send it : Jul. Not a whit, when it jars so.
And so, good rest. Host. Hark, what fine change is in the music!
As wretches have o'er night, Jul. Ay: that change is the spite.
That wait for execution in the morn. Host. You would have them always play but one
[Exeunt Proteus ; and Silvia, from above. thing
Jul. Host, will you go? Jul. I would always have one play but one thing.
Host. By my hallidom, I was fast asleep. But, host, doth this sir Proteus, that we talk on,
Jul. Pray you, where lies sir Proteus ? Often resort unto this gentlewoman ?
Host. Marty, at my house : Trust me, I think, 'tis Host. I'll tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he || almost day. loved her out of all nick.
Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night Jul. Where is Launce ?
That e'er I watchd, and the mast hea viest. (Exeunt. Host. Gone to seek his dog ; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he must carry for a present to
SCENE 1II.-The same. Enter Eglamour. his lady.
Egl. This is the hour that madam Silvia
Entreated me to call, and know her mind ;
Silvia appears above at her window. Pro. At saint Gregory's well.
Sil. Who calls ?
Your servant, and your friend;
appears above, at her window. One that attends your ladyship's command. Pro. Madam, good even to your ladyship.
Sil. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow. Sil. I thank you for your music, gentlemen :
Egl. As many, worthy lady, to yourself.
According to your ladyship's impose,
Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman,
Valiant, wise, remorseful, well accomplish d.
That I may compass yours. Thou art not ignorant, what dear good will
Nor how my father would enforce me marry
Vain Thurio, whom my very soul abhorrd. Think'st thou, I am so shallow, so conceitless, Thyself hast lov'd ; and I have heard thee say, To be seduced by thy flattery,
No grief did ever come so near thy heart, That hast deceived so many with thy vows ?
As when thy lady and thy true love died,
Upon whose grave shou vow'dst pure chastity.
To Mantua, where, I hear, he makes abode;
And, for the ways are dangerous to pass, And by and by intend to chide myself,
I do desire thy worthy company, Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.
Upon whose faith and honour I repose. Pro. I grant, sweet love, that I did love a lady ; Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour, But she is dead.
But think upon my grief, a lady's grief; "Twere false, if I should speak it : Avd on the justice of my flying hence, For, I am sure, she is not buried.
[Aside. To keep me from a most unholy match, Sil. Say, that she be ; yet Valentine, thy friend, Which heaven and fortune still reward with plagues. Survives ; to whom, thyself art witness,
I do desire thee, even from a heart I am betroth'd : And art thou not asham'd
As sul of sorrows as the sea of sands,
To bear me company, and go with me:
Pro. But she receiv'd my dog? If not, to hide what I have said to thee,
Laun. No, indeed, she did not : here have I brought That I may venture to depart alone.
him back again. Egi. Madam, I pity much your grievances;
Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Which since I know they virtuously are plac'd,
Laun. Ay, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from Içire consent to go along with you;
me by the hangman's boys in the market-place; and Reeking as little what betideth me,
then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big as As much I wish all good befortune you.
ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. When will you go?
Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog again, Sil This evening coming.
Or ne'er return again into my sight. Egl. Where shall I meet you?
Away, I say : Stay'st thou to vex me here?
At friar Patrick's cell, A slave, that, still an end, turns me to shame. Where I intend holy confession.
[Exit Launce. Egl. I will not fail your ladyship:
-Sebastian, I have entertained thee,
Partly that I have need of such a youth,
For 'tis no trusting to yon foolish lowt;
Loun. When a man's servant shall play the cur with Which (if my augury deceive me not) lin, kok you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of Witness good bringing-up, fortune, and truth: a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee. e four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! I Go presently, and take this ring with thee, have taugtat him-even as one would say precisely, | Deliver it to madam Silvia: Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver him, She loved me well, deliver'd it to me. as a present to mistress Silvia, from my master; and Jul. It seems, you loved her not, to leave her token : I canze no sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps She's dead, belike. me to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. 0, 'tis Pro.
Not so; I think, she lives. a foal thing when a cur cannot keep himseļf in all Jul. Alas! companies! I would have, as one should say, one that Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas? takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, Jul. I cannot choose but pity her. a dag at all things. If I had not had more wit than Pro. Wherefore shouldst thou pity her? be, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily Jul. Because, methinks, that she loved you as well te had been hanged for't; sure as I live, he had suf As you do love your lady Silvia: fered fort: you shall judge. He thrusts me himself she dreams on him that has forgot her love ; into the company of three or four gentlemen-like dogs, You dote on her, that cares not for your love under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless | 'Tis pity, love should be so contrary; the mark) a pissing while; but all the chamber smelt And thinking on it makes me cry, alas ! heime Out with the dog, says one ; What cur is that?
Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal ay another; Whip him out, says the third ; Hang him This letter ;-that's her chamber.-Tell my lady, says the duke. L, having been acquainted with I claim the promise for her heavenly picture. the well before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to Your message done, hie home unto my chamber, the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth 1, you Where thou shalt find me sad and solitary. (Exit Pro. uzan to whip the dog? Ay, marry, do I, quoth he. Jul. How many women would do such a message? Tou de him the more wrong, quoth 1 ; 'twas I did the Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain'd thing you wot of. He makes me no more ado, but A fox, to be the shepherd of thy lambs : slups me out of the chamber. How many masters
Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him would do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I That with his very heart despiseth me? have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, oth
Because he loves her, he despiseth me; erwise he had been executed : I have stood on the pil- | Because I love him, I must pity him. lary for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffer
This ring I gave him, when he parted from me, ed for't: thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, I re
To bind him to remember my good will: ezmber the trick you served me, when I took my
And now am I (unhappy messenger) leave of madam Silvia ; did not I bid thee still mark
To plead for that, which I would not obtain ; se, and do as I do? When didst thou see me beave up To carry that, which I would have refus d; sy leg and make water against a gentlewoman's far- To praise his faith, which I would have disprais d. thingak? didst thou ever see me do such a trick ?
I am my master's true confirmed love;
But cannot be true servant to my master,
Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
Yet I will woo for him ; but yet so coldly,
As, heaven, it knows, I would not have him speed. Pra, I hope, thou wilt.How now, you whoreson
Enter Silvia attended. peasant ?
[To Launce. -Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean Where have you been these two days loitering? To bring me were to speak with madam Silvia.
Laun. Marry, sir, 1 carried mistress Silvia the dog Sil. What would you with her, if that I be she? you bade me.
Jul. If you be she, I do entreat your patience Pre. And what says she, to my little jewel? To hear me speak the message I am sent on.
Laut. Marty, she says, your dog was a cur; and Sil. From whom? Hells you, eurrisha thanks is good enough for such a Jul. From my master, sir Proteus, madam. persent.
Sil. O!-he sends you for a picture?