For by that name as oft as Lancaster Hot. And you in hell, as often as he hears Glend. I cannot blame him; at my nativity, Hot. Why, so it would have done At the same season, if your mother's cat had But kitten'd, though yourself had ne'er been born. Glend. I say, the earth did shake when I was born. Hot. And I say, the earth was not of my mind, If you suppose, as fearing you it shook. Glend. The heavens were all on fire, the earth did tremble. Het. O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire, And not in fear of your nativity. In strange eruptions: oft the teeming earth Within her womb; which, for enlargement striving, Glend. Cousin, of many men I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Wales,- Hot. I think, there is no man speaks better Welsh :I will to dinner. Mort. Peace, cousin Perey; you will make him mad. Glend. I can call spirits from the vasty deep. Hat. Why, so can I; or so can any man: But will they come, when you do call for them? Glend. Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command The devil. Hot. And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil, By telling truth; Tell truth, and shame the devil.— If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither, And I'll be sworn, I have power to shame him hence. O, while you live, tell truth, and shame the devil. Mort. Come, come, No more of this unprofitable chat. Glend. Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made Mort. The archdeacon hath divided it Nor shall we need his help these fourteen days:Within that space, [To Glend.] you may have drawn together Your tenants, friends, and neighbouring gentlemen. Glend. A shorter time shall send me to you, lords, Hot. Methinks, my moiety, north from Burton here, It shall not wind with such a deep indent, Glend. Not wind? it shall, it must; you see, it doth. But mark, how he bears his course, and runs me up As on the other side it takes from you. Wor. Yea, but a little charge will trench him here, Glend. No, nor you shall not. Glend. Why, that will I. Hot. Speak it in Welsh. Will not you? Who shall say me nay? Let me not understand you then, Glend. I can speak English, lord, as well as you; And gave the tongue a helpful ornament; Hot. Marry, and I'm glad of it with all my heart; I had rather be a kitten, and cry-mew, 'Tis like the fore'd gait of a shuffling nag. But, in the way of bargain, mark ye me, I'll cavil on the ninth part of a hair. Are the indentures drawn? shall we be gone? I'll haste the writer, and, withal, Break with your wives of your departure hence: [Exit. Mort. Fie, cousin Percy! how you cross my father! A clip-wing'd griffin, and a moulten raven, As puts me from my faith. I tell you what,- But mark'd him not a word. O, he's as tedious Worse than a smoky house :-I had rather live Mort. In faith, he is a worthy gentleman; Wor. In faith, my lord, you are too wilful-blame; Beguiling them of commendation. Hot. Well, I am school'd; good manners be your speed! Here come our wives, and let us take our leave. Re-enter Glendower, with the ladies. Mort. This is the deadly spite that angers me,My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh. Glend. My daughter weeps; she will not part with you, She'll be a soldier too, she'll to the wars. Mort. Good father, tell her,—that she, and my aunt Shall follow in your conduct speedily. [Glendower speaks to his daughter in Welsh,|| and she answers him in the same. Glend. She's desperate here; a peevish self-will'd harlotry, One no persuasion can do good upon. [Lady M. speaks to Mortimer in Welsh. I understand thy kisses, and thou mine, Till I have learn'd thy language; for thy tongue Glend. Nay, if you melt, then will she run mad. Upon the wanton rushes lay you down, Mort. With all my heart I'll sit, and hear her sing: And those musicians that shall play to you, Lady P. Go,ye giddy goose. Glendower speaks some Welsh words, and then the Hot. Now I perceive, the devil understands Welsh ; for Lady P. Then should you be nothing but musical; you are altogether governed by humours. Lie still, ye thief, and hear the lady sing in Welsh. Hut. I had rather hear Lady, my brach, howl in Irish. Lady P. Would'st thou have thy head broken? Lady P. Then be still. Hot. Neither; 'tis a woman's fault. Lady P. Now God help thee! Hot. To the Welsh lady's bed. Hot. Peace! she sings. A Welsh Song sung by Lady M. Hot. Not yours, in good sooth! 'Heart, you swear like And giv'st such sarcenet surety for thy oaths, Lady P. I will not sing. Hot. "Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be red-breast teacher. An the indentures be drawn, I'll away within these two hours; and so come in when ye will. [Exit. Glend. Come, come, lord Mortimer; you are as slow, As hot lord Percy is on fire to go. By this our book's drawn; we'll but seal, and then Mort. K. Hen. Lords, give us leave; the prince of Wales Must have some conference: But be near at hand, [Exeunt Lords. I know not whether God will have it so, Make me believe, that thou art only mark'd Ne'er seen, but wonder'd at: and so my state, That being daily swallow'd by men's eyes, To loathe the taste of sweetness, whereof a little Heard, not regarded; seen, but with such eyes, Afford no extraordinary gaze, Such as is bent on sun-like majesty But rather drowz'd, and hung their eyelids down, Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts, || Slept in his face, and render'd such aspect Such barren pleasures, rude society, As thou art match'd withal, and grafted to, And hold their level with thy princely heart? P. Hen. So please your majesty, I would, I could Quit all offences with as clear excuse, As well as, I am doubtless, I can purge Which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear,- As cloudy men use to their adversaries ; Being with his presence glutted, gorg'd, and full. Save mine, which hath desir'd to see thee more; Make blind itself with foolish tenderness. P. Hen. I shall hereafter, my thrice gracious lord, Be more myself. K. Hen. God pardon thee!-yet let me wonder, Now by my sceptre, and my soul to boot, At thy affections, which do hold a wing That men would tell their children, This is he; He hath more worthy interest to the state, Than thou, the shadow of succession : Against renowned Douglas; whose high deeds, Whose hot incursions, and great name in arms, Holds from all soldiers chief majority, And military title capital, Through all the kingdoms that acknowledge Christ? To fill the mouth of deep defiance up, And shake the peace and safety of our throne. But wherefore do I tell these news to thee? To fight against me under Percy's pay, P. Hen. Do not think so, you shall not find it so ; K. Hen. A hundred thousand rebels die in this: Thou shalt have charge, and sovereign trust, herein. Enter Blunt. How now, good Blunt? thy looks are full of speed. A mighty and a fearful head they are, As ever offer'd foul play in a state. K. Hen. The earl of Westmoreland set forth to-day; With him my son, lord John of Lancaster; For this advertisement is five days old :On Wednesday next, Harry, you shall set Forward; on Thursday, we ourselves will march: Our meeting is Bridgnorth: and, Harry, you Shall march through Glostershire; by which account, Our business valued, some twelve days hence Our general forces at Bridgnorth shall meet. Onr hands are full of business: let's away; Advantage feeds him fat, while men delay. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-Eastcheap. A Room in the Boar's Head Tavern. Enter Falstaff and Bardolph. Fal. Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this last action? do I not bate? do I not dwindle? Why, my skin hangs about me like an old lady's loose gown; I am wither'd like an old apple-John. Well, I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking; I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall have no strength to repent. An I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I am a pepper-corn, a brewer's horse: the inside of a church! Company, villanous company, hath been the spoil of me. Bard. Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long. Fal. Why, there is it :-come, sing me a bawdy song: make me merry. I was as virtuously given, as a gentleman need to be; virtuous enough: swore lit tle; diced, not above seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house, not above once in a quarter-of an hour; paid money that I borrowed, three or four times; lived well, and in good compass: and now I live out of all order, out of all compass. Bard. Why, you are so fat, sir John, that you must needs be out of all compass; out of all reasonable compass, sir John. Fal. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life: Thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lantern in the poop,-but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art the knight of the burning lamp. Bard. Why, sir John, my face does you no harm. Fal. No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many a man doth of a death's head, or a memento mo ri: I never see thy face, but I think upon hell-fire, and Dives that lived in purple; for there he is in his robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way given to virtue, I would swear by thy face; my oath should be, By this fire: but thou art altogether given over; and wert indeed, but for the light in thy face, the son of utter darkness. When thou ran'st up Gads-hill in the night to catch my horse, if I did not think thou hadst been an ignis fatuus, or a ball of wildfire, there's no purchase in money. O, thou art a perpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire-light! Thou hast saved me a thousand marks in links and torches, walking with thee in the night betwixt tavern and tavern ; bat the sack that thou hast drunk me, would have bought me lights as good cheap, at the dearest chandler's in Europe. I have maintained that salamander of yours with fire, any time this two and thirty years; Heaven reward me for it! Bard. 'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly! Fal. God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heart. burned. Enter Hostess. How now, dame Partlet the hen? have you inquired yet who picked my pocket? Host. Why, sir John! what do you think, sir John! Do you think I keep thieves in my house? I have searched, I have inquired, so has my husband, man by man, boy by boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hair was never lost in my house before. Fal. You lie, hostess; Bardolph was shaved, and lost many a hair; and I'll be sworn, my pocket was pick ed: Go to, you are a woman, go. Host. Who I? I defy thee: I was never called so in mine own house before. Fal. Go to, I know you well enough. Host. No, sir John; you do not know me, sir John: I know you, sir John: you owe me money, sir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back. Fal. Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I bave given them a way to bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of 1 you rich? let them coin his nose, let them coin his Fal. How! the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup: and if he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he would say so. Enter Prince Henry and Poins, marching. Falstaff meets the Prince, playing on his truncheon, like a fife. Fal. How now, lad? is the wind in that door, i' faith? must we all march? Bard. Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion? P. Hen. What sayest thou, mistress Quickly? How does thy husband? I love him well, he is an honest man. Host. Good my lord, hear me. Fal. Pr'ythee, let her alone, and list to me. P. Hen. What sayest thou, Jack? Fal. The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras, and had my pocket picked: this house is turned bawdy-house, they pick pockets. P. Hen. What did'st thou lose, Jack? Fal. Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds P. Hen. I say, 'tis copper: Darest thou be as good as thy word now? Fal. Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare: but, as thou art prince, I fear thee, as I fear the roaring of the lion's whelp. P. Hen. And why not, as the lion? Fal. The king himself is to be feared as the lion: Dost thou think, I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay, an I do, I pray God, my girdle break! P. Hen. O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith, truth, nor honesty, in this bosom of thine; it is filled up with guts, and midriff. Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket! Why, thou whoreson, im pudent, embossed rascal, if there were any thing in thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums of bawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth of sugar candy to make thee long winded; if thy pocket were enriched with any other injuries but these, I am a villain. And yet you will stand to it; you will not pocket up wrong: Art thou not ashamed? Fal. Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest, in the state of innocency, Adam fell; and what should poor Jack Falstaff do, in the days of villany? Thou seest, I have more flesh than another man; and therefore more frailty.You confess then, you picked my pocket? P. Hen. It appears so by the story. Fal. Hostess, I forgive thee: Go, make ready break of forty pound a-piece, and a seal-ring of my grand- fast; love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish father's. P. Hen. A trifle, some eight-penny matter. Host. So I told him, my lord; and I said, I heard your grace say so: And, my lord, he speaks most vilely of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said, he would endgel you. P. Hen. What! he did not? thy guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason: thou seest, I am pacified.-Still?-Nay, pr'ythee, be gone. [Exit Hostess.] Now, Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery, lad,-How is that answered? P. Hen. O, my sweet beef, I must still be good an Hast. There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood gel to thee:-The money is paid back again. in me else. Fal. There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune; nor no more truth in thee, than in a drawn fox; and for womanhood, maid Marian may be the deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing, go. Host. Say, what thing? what thing? Fal. What thing? why, a thing to thank God on. Host. I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou should'st know it; I am an honest man's wife: and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so. Fal. O, I do not like that paying back, 'tis a double labour. P. Hen. I am good friends with my father, and may do any thing. Fal. Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou do. est, and do it with unwashed hands too. Bard. Do, my lord. P. Hen. I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot. Fal. I would, it had been of horse. Where shall I find one that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of the age of two and twenty, or thereabouts! I am heinous Fal. Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beastly unprovided. Well, God be thanked for these reb to say otherwise. Host. Say, what beast, thou knave thou? Fal. What beast? why an otter. P. Hen. An otter, sir John! why an otter? Fal. Why? she's neither fish, nor flesh; a man knows not where to have her. Host. Thou art an unjust man in saying so; thou or any man knows where to have me, thou knave thou! P. Hen. Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly. Host. So he doth you, my lord; and said this other day, you ought him a thousand pound, P. Hen. Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound? Fal. A thousand pound, Hal? a million: thy love is worth a million; thou owest me thy love. Host. Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said, he would endgel you. Fal. Did I, Bardolph ? Bard. Indeed, sir John, you said so. Fal. Yea; if he said, my ring was copper. els, they offend none but the virtuous; I laud them, I praise them. P. Hen. Bardolph Bard. My lord. P. Hen. Go bear this letter to lord John of Lancas ter, My brother John; this to my lord of Westmoreland.→ Meet me to-morrow i'the Temple-hall At two o'clock i'the afternoon: There shalt thou know thy charge; and there receive The land is burning; Percy stands on high; [Exeunt Prince, Poins, and Bardolph, Fal. Rare words! brave world!-Hostess, my breakfast; come: O, I could wish, this tavern were my drum. [Exit. |