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was cruelty ; his temperance, economy; prudent behaviour, and application to business, were Dutch virtues, and such as we had not been used to in our English kings. He did not fight a battle in which the Tories did not slay double the number of what he had lost in the field; nor ever raised a siege or gained a victory, which did not cost more than it was worth.
In short, he was contriving the ruin of his kingdom ; and, in order to it, advanced Dr. Tillotson to the highest station of the church, my Lord Somers of the law, Mr. Montague of the treasury, and the admiral at La Hogue of the fleet. Such were the calumnies of the party in those times, which we see so faithfully copied out by men of the same principles under the reign of his present Majesty.
As the schemes of these gentlemen are the most absurd and contradictory to common sense, the means by which they are promoted must be of the same nature. Nothing but weakness and folly can dispose Englishmen and Protestants to the interest of a Popish pretender: and the same abilities of mind will naturally qualify his adherents to swallow the most palpable and notorious falsehoods. Their self-interested and designing leaders cannot desire a more ductile and easy people to work upon. How long was it before many
of this simple, deluded tribe were brought to believe that the Highlanders were a generation of men that could be conquered ? The rabble of the party were instructed to look upon
them as so many giants and Saracens; and were very much surprised to find, that every one of them had not with his broad sword mowed down at least a squadron of the king's forces. There were not only public rejoicings in the camp at Perth, but likewise many private congratulations nearer us, among these well-wishers to their country, upon the victories of their friends at Preston; which continued till the rebels made their solemn cavalcade from Highgate. Nay, there were then some of these wise partisans, who concluded, the government had hired two or three hundred hale men, who looked like foxhunters, to be bound and pinioned, if not to be executed, as representatives of the pretended captives. Their victories in Scotland have been innumerable; and no longer ago than last week, they gained a very remarkable one, in which the Highlanders cut off all the Dutch forces to a man; and afterwards, disguising themselves in their habits, came up as friends to the king's troops, and put them all to the sword. This story had a great run for a day or two; and I believe one might still find out a whisper among their secret intelligence, that the Duke of Mar is actually upon the road to London, if not within two days' march of the town. I need not take notice, that their successes in the battle of Dumblain are magnified among some of them to this day; though a Tory may very well say, with King Pyrrhus, " That such another victory would undo them.”
But the most fruitful source of falsehood and calumny, is that which, one would think, should be the least apt to produce them ; I mean a pretended concern for the safety of our established religion. "Were these people as anxious for the doctrines which are essential to the Church of England, as they are for the nominal distinction of adhering to its interests, they would know, that the sincere observation of public oaths, allegiance to their king, submission to their bishops, zeal against Popery, and abhorrence of rebellion, are the great points that adorn the character of the Church of England, and in which the authors of the reformed religion in this nation have always gloried. We justly reproach the Jesuits, who have adapted all Christianity to temporal and political views, for maintaining a position so repugnant to the laws of nature, morality, and religion, that an evil may be committed for the sake of good, which may arise from it. But we cannot suppose even this principle (as bad a one as it is) should influence those persons, who, by so many
absurd and monstrous falsehoods, endeavour to delude men into a belief of the danger of the church. If there be any relying on the solemn declarations of a prince, famed for keeping his word, constant in the public exercises of our religion, and determined in the maintenance of our laws, we have all the assurances that can be given us, for the security of the established church under his government. When a leading man, therefore, begins to grow apprehensive for the church, you may be sure that he is either in danger of losing a place, or in despair of getting one. It is pleasant on these occasions, to see a notorious profligate seized with a concern for his religion, and converting his spleen into zeal. These narrow and selfish views have so great an influence in this city, that, among those who call themselves the landed interest, there are several of my fellow-freeholders, who always fancy the church in danger upon the rising of bank-stock. But the standing absurdities, without the belief of which no man is reckoned a staunch churchman, are, that there is a calves’-head club ; for which, (by the way,) some pious Tory has made suitable hymns and devotions; that there is a confederacy among the greatest part of the prelates to destroy Episcopacy; and that all, who talk against Popery, are Presbyterians in their hearts. The emissaries of the party are so diligent in spreading ridiculous fictions of this kind, that at present, if we may credit common report, there are several remote parts of the nation in which it is firmly believed, that all the churches in London are shut up; and that, if any clergyman walks the streets in his habit, it is ten to one but he is knocked down by some sturdy schismatic. We may observe
this occasion, that there are many particular falsehoods suited to the particular climates and latitudes in which they are published, according as the situation of the place makes them less liable to discovery: there is many a lie that will not thrive within a hundred miles of London: nay, we often find a lie born in Southwark, that dies the same day on this side the water; and several produced in the loyal ward of Portsoken of so feeble a make, as not to bear carriage to the Royal Exchange. However, as the mints of calumny are perpetually at work, there are a great number of curious inventions issued out from time to time, wbich grow current among the party, and circulate through the whole kingdom.
As the design of this paper is not to exasperate, but to undeceive my countrymen, let me desire them to consider the many inconveniences they bring upon themselves by these mutual intercourses of credulity and falsehood. I shall only remind the credulous of the strong delusion they have by this means been led into the greatest part of their lives. Their hopes have been kept up by a succession of lies for near thirty years. How many persons have starved in expectation of those profitable employments, which were promised them by the authors of these forgeries! how many of them have died with great regret, when they thought they were within a month of enjoying the inestimable blessings of a Popish and arbitrary reign!
I would, therefore, advise this blinded set of men, not to give credit to those persons, by whom they have been so often fooled and imposed upon; but, on the contrary, to think it
an affront to their parts, when they hear from of them such accounts, as they would not dare to tell them, but upon the presumption that they are idiots. Or if their zeal for the cause shall dispose them to be credulous in any points that are favourable to it, I would beg of them not to venture wagers upon the truth of them : and in this present conjuncture, by no means to sell out of the stocks upon any news they shall hear from their good friends at Perth. As these party fictions are the proper subjects of mirth and laughter, their deluded believers are only to be treated with pity or contempt. But as for those incendiaries of figure and distinction, who are the inventors and publishers of such gross falsehoods and calumnies, they cannot be regarded by others but with the utmost detestation and abhorrence; nor, one would think, by themselves, without the greatest remorse and compunction of heart ; when they consider, that in order to give a spirit to a desperate cause, they have, by their false and treacherous insinuations and reports, betrayed so many of their friends into their destruction.
No. 8. MONDAY, JANUARY 16.
Adveniet qui vestra dies muliebribus armis
VIRG. I HAVE heard that several ladies of distinction, upon the reading of my fourth paper, are studying methods how to make themselves useful to the public. One has a design of keeping an open tea-table, where every man shall be welcome that is a friend to King George. Another is for setting up an assembly for basset, where none shall be admitted to punt that have not taken the oaths, A third is upon an invention of a dress, which will put every Tory lady out of countenance : I am not informed of the particulars, but am told in general, that she has contrived to show her principles by the setting of her commode; so that it will be impossible for any woman, that is disaffected, to be in the fashion. Some of them are of opinion that the fan may be made use of, with good success, against Popery, by exhibiting the corruptions of the Church of Rome in various figures; and that their abhorrence of the superstitious use of beads, may be very aptly expressed in the make of a pearl necklace. As for the civil part of our constitution, it is unanimously agreed, among the leaders of the sex, that there is no glory in making a man their slave, who has not naturally a passion for liberty; and to disallow of all professions of passive obedience, but from a lover to his mistress.
It happens very luckily for the interest of the Whigs, that their very enemies acknowledge the finest women of Great Britain to be of that party. The Tories are forced to borrow their toasts from their antagonists; and can scarce find beauties enough of their own side, to supply a single round of October. One may, indeed, sometimes discover among the malignants of the sex a face that seems to have been naturally designed for a Whig lady: but then it is so often flushed with rage, or soured with disappointments, that one cannot but be troubled to see it thrown away upon
the owner. Would the pretty malecontent be persuaded to love her king and country, it would diffuse a cheerfulness through all her features, and give her quite another air. I would, therefore, advise these my gentle readers, as they consult the good of their faces, to forbear frowning upon loyalists, and pouting at the government. In the mean time, what may we not hope, from a cause which is recommended by all the allurement of beauty and the force of truth! It is, therefore, to be hoped, that every fine woman will make this laudable use of her charms; and that she may not want to be frequently reminded of this great duty, I will only desire her to think of her country every time she looks in her glass.
But because it is impossible to prescribe such rules as shall be suitable to the sex in general, I shall consider them under their several divisions of maids, wives, and widows.
As for virgins, who are unexperienced in the wiles of men, they would do well to consider, how little they are to rely on the faith of lovers who, in less than a year, have broken their allegiance to their lawful sovereign; and what credit is to be given to the vows and protestations of such as show themselves so little afraid of perjury. Besides, what would an innocent young lady think, should she marry a man without examining his principles, and afterwards find herself got with child by a rebel ?
In the next place, every wife ought to answer for her man. If the husband be engaged in a seditious club, or drinks1
" The uniformity of the sentence requires—drink—that is, the subjunc. tive mood—be engaged-drink-be frugal.