Pro. No, Valentine. Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me!— What is your news? Laun. Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vaished. Pro. That thou art banished. O, that's the news; From hence, from Silvia, and from me, thy friend. Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Doth Silvia know that I am banished? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them, As if but now they waxed pale for woe: But neither bended knees, pure hands held up, Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears, Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire; But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die. Besides, her intercession chaf'd him so, When she for thy repeal was suppliant, That to close prison he commanded her, With many bitter threats of 'biding there. As thou lov'st Silvia, though not for thyself, Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north gate. Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROteus. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 't is I love, and yet 't is a woman: but what woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 't is a milkmaid; yet 't is not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 't is a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,— which is much in a bare Christian. Here is the cate log [pulling out a paper] of her conditions. Imprimis, "She can fetch and carry." Why, a horse can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a jade. Item, "She can milk;" look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter SPEED. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Laun. Why, as black as ink. Laun. Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read. Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed! Speed. Imprimis, "She can milk.” Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, "She brews good ale." Laun. And thereof comes the proverb,-Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, "She can sew." Laun. That's as much as to say, can she so? Laun. What need a man care for a stock with ɛ Val. No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st wench, when she can knit him a stock?a Have some malignant power upon my life: If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear, Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, • Been in the milk-white bosom of thy love. The lady of the sixteenth century hal a small pocket in the front of her stays, in which she carried her letters, and other matters which she valued. Speed. Item, "She can wash and scour." Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Laun. It's no matter for that, so sne sleep not in ber talk. Speed. Item," She is slow in words." Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: Pro. Gone, my good lord. I pray thee, out with 't; and place it for her chief Makes me the better to confer with thee. virtue. Speed. Item," She is proud." Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, And cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, "She hath no teeth." Laun. crusts. care not for that neither, because I love Speed. Item, "She is curst." Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Duke. Thou know'st how willingly I would effect Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will The love of Valentine, and love sir Thurio? Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she may; and that cannot I help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item," She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults." Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, "She hath more hair than wit," Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed." And more faults than hairs," Laun. That 's monstrous: O, that that were out! Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Pro. The best way is, to slander Valentine Duke. Ay, but she 'll think that it is spoke in hate. Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him, Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, Laun. Why, then will I tell thee,-that thy master As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine. stays for thee at the north gate. Speed. For me? Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind; Laun. For thee? ay: who art thou? he hath stayed Because we know, on Valentine's report, for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed SCENE II.-The same. A Room in the Duke's Enter DUKE and THURIO; PROTEUS behind. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight. Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most, Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Trenched-cut. You are already love's firm votary, Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect :- For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews; Visit by night your lady's chamber-window, Very-true; real. Will well become such sweet complaining grievance. This, or else nothing, will inherit her. Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love. The. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice. Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, Let us into the city presently To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music : I have a sonnet that will serve the turn, To give the onset to thy good advice. Duke. About it, gentlemen. Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper; And afterward determine our proceedings. Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you. [Exeunt. ACT IV. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might have stay'd, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. I Out. What, were you banish'd thence? 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse : I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so: But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? Val. My youthfu! travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction 1 Out. We'll have him; sirs, a word. Speed. Master, be one of them; It is an honourable kind of thievery. Val. Peace, villain! 2 Out. Tell us this: Have you anything to take to? Val. Nothing but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth с Thrust from the company of awful men: For practising to steal away a lady, 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Whom, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. Inherit obtain possession of. Sort-choose. But to the purpose, for we cite our faults, 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, To make a virtue of necessity, And live, as we do, in this wilderness? 3 Out. What say'st thou wilt thou be of our consort? Say, ay, and be the captain of us all: We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee, 1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest. Val. I take your offer, and will live with you; Provided that you do no outrages On silly women, or poor passengers. 3 Out. No, we detest such vile base practices. Come, go with us, we 'll bring thee to our crews, And show thee all the treasure we have got; Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose. [Exeunt SCENE II.-Milan. Court of the Palace. Enter PROTEUS. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, She twits me with my falsehood to my friend: Enter THURIO and Musicians. Thu. How now, sir Proteus; are you crept before us? Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio; for you know that love Will creep in service where it cannot go. Thu. Ay, but I hope, sir, that you love not here. Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence. Thu. Who? Silvia? Pro. Ay, Silvia,—for your sake. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen, Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile. Enter Host, at a distance; and JULIA in boy's clothes. Host. Now, my young guest! methinks you 're allycholly; I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we 'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you shall hear music, and see the gentleman that | That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit; you asked for. Ju. But shall I hear him speak? Jul. That will be music. Host Hark! bark! Jul. Is he among these? Host. Ay: but peace, let 's hear 'em. SONG. Who is Silvia? what is she, And by and by intend to chide myself, [Music plays. But she is dead. Jul. 'T were false, if I should speak it; That all our swains commend her? The heaven such grace did lend her, Is she kind as she is fair? For beauty lives with kindness: To help him of his blindness; Upon the dull earth dwelling: Host. How now? are you sadder than you were before? a Jul. You mistake; the musician likes me not. Jul. He plays false, father. Host. How out of tune on the strings? [Aside Sil. Say that she be; yet Valentine, thy friend, I am betroth'd: And art thou not asham'd Pro. I likewise hear that Valentine is dead. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the eartn. Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, And make it but a shadow, as I am. Sil. I am very loth to be your idol, sir; Jul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very But, since your falsehood shall become you well heartstrings. Host. You have a quick ear. Jul. Ay, I would I were deaf! it makes me have a slow heart. Host. I perceive you delight not in music. Jul. Not a whit, when it jars so. Host. Hark, what fine change is in the music! Jul. Ay, that change is the spite. Host. You would have them always play but one thing. To worship shadows, and adore false shapes, Pro. As wretches have o'er-night, de [Aside. [Exeunt PROTEUS; and SILVIA, from above. Jul. Host, will you go? Host. By my halidom, I was fast asleep. Host. Marry, at my house: Trust me, I think, 't is almost day. Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he That e'er I watch'd, and the most heaviest. loved her out of all nick.b Jul. Where is Launce? Host. Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady. Jul. Peace! stand aside! the company parts. Pro. Sir Thurio, fear not you! I will so plead, That you shall say, my cunning drift excels. Thu. Where meet we? Pro. At saint Gregory's well. Thu. Farewell. [Exeunt THURIO and Musicians. SILVIA appears above, at her window. Pro. Madam, good even to your ladyship. Sil. I thank you for your music, gentlemen: Who is that, that spake? Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth, Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant. Pro. That I may compass yours. Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this,-- That presently you hie you home to bed. Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man! Think'st thou, I am so shallow, so conceitless, To be seduced by thy flattery, That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? SCENE III.-The same. Enter EGLAMOUR. [Exeunt Egl. This is the hour that madam Silvia Entreated me to call, and know her mind; There's some great matter she 'd employ me in.Madam, madam! SILVIA appears above, at her window. Sil. Who calls? Egl. Your servant, and your friend; Sil. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good-morrow. I am thus early come, to know what service Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, Halidom-holiness. b Impose-comman To Mantua, where, I hear, he makes abode; Which Heaven and fortune still reward with plagues. As full of sorrows as the sea of sands, To bear me company, and go with me: Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances; As much I wish all good befortune you. Sal. This evening coming. Egl. Where shall I meet you? Sil. At friar Patrick's cell, Where I intend holy confession. Egl. I will not fail your ladyship: Good morrow, gentle lady. Sil. Good morrow, kind sir Eglamour. Pro. I hope thou wilt.-How now, you whoreson peasant; [TO LAUNCE. Where have you been these two days loitering? Laun. Marry, sir, I carried mistress Silvia the dog you bade me. Pro. And what says she to my little jewel? Laun. No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him back again. Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman's boys in the market-place: and then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog again, Or ne'er return again into my sight. Away, I say: Stay'st thou to vex me here? A slave, that still an end turns me to shame. [Exit LAUNCE. Sebastian, I have entertained thee, Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth: b SCENE IV.-The same. Enter LAUNCE, with his dog. Laun. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! I have taught him even as one would say precisely, Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver him, as a present to mistress Silvia, from my master; and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps me to der trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O, 't is a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all compa-As you do love your lady Silvia: nies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been banged for 't; sure as I live he had suffered for 't: you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentlemanlike dogs, under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless the mark!) a pissing while, but all the chamber smelt him. "Out with the dog." says one; "What cur is that?" says another; "Whip him out," says a third; "Hang him up," says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: "Friend," quoth I, "you mean to whip the dog" "Ay, marry, do I," quoth he. "You do him the more wrong," quoth I; "'t was I did the thing you wot of." He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, stherwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for 't: thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, I remember the trick you served me when I took my leave of madam Silvia; did not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick? She lov'd me well, deliver'd it to me. Jul. It seems you lov'd her not to leave her token Pro. Not so; I think she lives. Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas! Jul. Because, methinks, that she lov'd you as well She dreams on him that has forgot her love; Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal Enter PROTEUS and JULIA. Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, And will employ thee in some service presently. Jul. In what you please.-I 'll do what I can. • Keep-restrain. Jul. How many women would do such a message? |