Imagens das páginas
PDF
ePub

they hiss, they gaggle, beat their wings, and down is scattered as the winter's snow, for a poor grain of oat, or tare, or barley. Such looks shot through the room transverse, oblique, direct; such was the stir and din, till Curll thus spoke (but without rising from his close-stool):

"Whores and authors must be paid before-hand to put them in good humour; therefore here is half a crown a-piece for you to drink your own healths, and confusion to Mr. Addison, and all other successful writers.

66

Ah, Gentlemen! what have I not done? what have I not suffered, rather than the world should be deprived of your lucubrations? I have taken involuntary purges, I have been vomited, three times have I been caned, once was I hunted, twice was my head broke by a grenadier, twice was I tossed in a blanket; I have had boxes on the ear, slaps on the chops; I have been frighted, pumped, kicked, slandered, and beshitten.-I hope, Gentlemen, you are all convinced, that this author of Mr. Lintot's could mean nothing else but starving you, by poisoning me. It remains for us to consult the best and speediest methods of revenge."

He had scarcely done speaking, but the historian proposed a history of his life. The Exeter-Exchange gentleman was for penning articles of his faith. Some pretty smart Pindaric, says the redstocking poet, would effectually do his business. But the index-maker said, there was nothing like an index to his Homer.

After several debates, they came to the following resolutions:

"Resolved, That every member of this society, according to his several abilities, shall contribute some way or other to the defamation of Mr. Pope.

"Resolved, That towards the libelling of the said Pope there be a sum employed not exceeding six pounds sixteen shillings and nine-pence (not including advertisements).

"Resolved, That he has on purpose, in several passages, perverted the true ancient Heathen sense of Homer, for the more effectual propagation of the Popish religion.

"Resolved, That the printing of Homer's battles, at this juncture, has been the occasion of all the disturbances of this kingdom.

"Ordered, That Mr. Barnevelt be invited to be a member of this society, in order to make further discoveries.

66

Resolved, That a number of effective errata be raised out of Pope's Homer (not exceeding 1746), and that every gentleman, who shall send in one error, for his encouragement shall have the whole works of this society gratis.

"Resolved, That a sum not exceeding ten shillings and sixpence be distributed among the members of this society for coffee and tobacco, in order to enable them the more effectually to defame him in coffee-houses.

[ocr errors]

Resolved, That towards the further lessening the character of the said Pope, some persons be

deputed to abuse him at ladies' tea-tables, and that in consideration our authors are not well-dressed enough, Mr. C— -y and Mr. Ke- -1 be deputed for that service.

"Resolved, That a ballad be made against Mr. Pope, and that Mr. Oldmixon, Mr. Gildon, and Mrs. Centlivre,* do prepare and bring in the

same.

66

Resolved, That, above all, some effectual ways and means be found to encrease the joint stock of the reputation of this society, which at present is exceeding low, and to give their works the greater currency; whether by raising the denomination of the said works by counterfeit title-pages, or mixing a greater quantity of the fine metal of other authors with the alloy of this society.

"Resolved, That no member of this society for the future mix stout in his ale in a morning, and that Mr. B- remove from the Hercules and Still.

Resolved, That all our members (except the cook's wife) be provided with a sufficient quantity of the vivifying drops, or Byfield's sal volatile.

66

Resolved, That Sir Richard Blackmore be appointed to endue this society with a large quantity of regular and exalted ferments in order to en

* Mrs. Susanna Centlivre is the slip-shod sybil in the Dunciad, book iii. v. 15. Warton.

Sir Richard Blackmore, in his Essays, vol. ii. p. 270, accused Mr. Pope in very high and sober terms, of profaneness and immorality, on the mere report of Curll, that he was author of a travestie on the first psalm.

Warburton.

liven their cold sentiments (being his true receipt to make wits.")

These resolutions being taken, the assembly was ready to break up, but they took so near a part in Mr. Curll's afflictions, that none of them could leave him without giving him some advice to reinstate him in his health.

Mr. Gildon was of opinion, that in order to drive a Pope out of his belly, he should get the mummy of some deceased Moderator of the general assembly in Scotland, to be taken inwardly, as an effectual antidote against Antichrist; but Mr. Oldmixon did conceive, that the liver of the person who administered the poison, boiled in broth, would be a more certain cure.

While the company were expecting the thanks of Mr. Curll for these demonstrations of their zeal, a whole pile of Sir Richard's Essays on a sudden fell on his head; the shock of which in an instant brought back his delirium. He immediately rose up, overturned the close-stool, and besh-t the Essays (which may probably occasion a second edition); then without putting up his breeches, in a most furious tone he thus broke out to his books, which his distempered imagination represented to him as alive, coming down from their shelves, fluttering their leaves, and flapping their covers at him.

Now G-d damn all folios, quartos, octavos, and

duodecimos! ungrateful varlets that you are, who have so long taken up my house without paying for your lodging! Are you not the beggarly brood of fumbling journeymen! born in garrets among lice and cobwebs, nursed up on grey peas, bullock's liver, and porter's ale?Was not the first light you saw, the farthing candle I paid for? Did you not come before your time into dirty sheets of brown paper?—And have not I clothed you in double royal, lodged you handsomely on decent shelves, laced your backs with gold, equipped you with splendid titles, and sent you into the world with the names of persons of quality? Must I be always plagued with you? Why flutter ye your leaves and flap your covers at me? Damn ye all, ye wolves in sheep's clothing; rags ye were, and to rags ye shall return. Why hold you forth your texts to me, ye paltry sermons? Why cry ye,-at every word to me, ye bawdy poems?—To my shop at Tunbridge ye shall go, by G-, and thence be drawn like the rest of your predecessors, bit by bit, to the passage-house; for in this present emotion of my bowels, how do I compassionate those who have great need, and nothing to wipe their breech with?

Having said this, and at the same time recollecting that his own was yet unwiped, he abated of his fury, and with great gravity applied to that function the unfinished sheets of the conduct of the Earl of Nottingham.

« AnteriorContinuar »