passionate husband, to be more unreasonable than he. Such conduct may silence some men, and might be pardonable if God as well as man were to be silenced by it. But our religion tells us "we must not be overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." An evil tongue never appears so odious as in the mouth of a passionate woman, railing against her husband. We commonly say that a madman is possessed; and every one that is not in a rage himself, will allow passion to be a tempovary madness, which makes men act as irrationally as lunatics, although they have not the same excuse to plead. Such unhappy persons will often tell you that passion is a patural infirmity; a violent distemper which they strive against, and therefore they ought to be excused; but let them remember that their conduct is the more unjustifiable, as they are sensible of their folly. If a husband be unkind and cruel, it is a great affliction, and the scripture tells us that all things of that nature are grievous; but as contrary as they are to flesh and blood, yet they arise not from the dust, and it is not for us to contend with our Maker.. He that can, with a word, control the winds and seas, can with as little trouble avert any storm that threatens, when he sees us fit objects of mercy. For if we attempt to shake off the yoke, or think by struggling to make the chain sit looser upon us, we shall soon be convinced of our error, like birds taken in a net, who by beating their feathers off, increase their misery, and at the same time disable themselves from making their escape.

Those amongst us that know we have been so obliging as never to deserve an ill word from our persecutors, should remember, that still we every day deserve God's chastisements, and that wicked and unreasonable men are a sword of his, which wounds us the deeper the more we love the hand which he employs for our correction. But how sharp soever it is, yet we should not repine, considering it is to humble us, in order to draw us nearer to himself. He has said, that when we have arrived at a proper degree of perfection, we shall be free from all our sufferings; but as long as we continue to offend we shall be punished either in this world, or, what is infinitely worse, in the world to come. I have a few thoughts more to send you on the same subject, which I am not able at present to communicate, being in a poor state of health, but I am still, dear madam, Your sincere friend.

DEAR MADAM,

LETTER 158.

To the same.

In compliance with your request, I mentioned a few things concerning marriage, and, according to my promise, now send you the remainder. It is certainly a very silly thing for people to quarrel who must be friends again; unless they choose rather to live asunder than submit to many things they cannot approve. I will not pretend to determine what provocation is sufficient to justify such a breach, nor to say that it cannot be justified, since even the best of women have parted from their husbands, although they seem sincerely to lament their separation. Nor does their conduct accuse them of having done it lightly, or upon the account of taking their pleasure, which would soon be discovered, as in

such circumstances all eyes are upon them, and they must live more reserved than the rest of the world, or else they would quickly be liable to such a censure as must vindicate the conduct of their husbands.

And though in all quarrels betwixt a man and his wife, if it comes to a hot dispute, there are faults in both parties, yet the weaker vessel is so little considered, merely for being weak, they are very often blamed much more than they deserve; which they can no way resent so well as by a strict observance of their relative duties, and to endeavor to have a conscience void of offence towards God and the world.

Nothing upon earth can be said to afford satisfaction only as our imagination makes it appear so at a distance; and this prospect is dressed by fancy in such various shapes, that what would be a delight to one is real misery to another; and age or possession does sometimes give the same persons such different notions, that they grow sick at the very things they languished for before. This is probably the reason why old .people are so much for denying young ones those innocent diversions which they have grown weary of themselves; though, perhaps, at the same time they may gratify their own foible in something equally ridiculous. It is this contrariety in the mind that makes matrimony so uneasy; for when one sets up a separate Diana to worship, their hearts cannot be full of affection to one another; and if both are bigoted in their own way, it too often ruins, not only themselves, but also their innocent children. But you, madam, are in no danger of falling into this error, being of too complying a nature to bring yourself and others into any inconveniency on that score; and I rejoice to hear how unmoved you appear under so great a provocation. I confess, that a husband's keeping another before one's eyes, is the cruelest thing he can do; yet, even in that case, it is most prudent to show no frowardness; for the mistress will be sure to entertain him with mirth and caressing, which will make the wife's frowns appear more intolerable, and such women never fail to magnify all domestic accidents.

These prostitutes are, indeed, the greatest enemies to conjugal love; for them the gentlemen put on their best countenances, and with them they pass their most pleasing hours; the spleen and ill humor is reserved for the wife of his bosom, who must share in nothing but the grievances, till they become partners in their wants, which invariably follow such courses. Some few instances we have seen of husbands who have been reclaimed by a wife's tenderness, before the intrigue has gone too far, but I believe none were ever hectored out of it.

Some men are so kind to their wives as tó endeavor to conceal their falsehood; which if they do, it is very indiscreet for the ladies to inquire into it, and they are no friends who give them the information. He that goes about to hide his amour, shows either a sense of shame, or a regard to his spouse; and that may in time wean him from such company, or at least it is a sign he does not desire to grieve her, which most men esteem their great prerogative, and would lose half their satisfaction in their intrigues, were it not for the pleasure of tormenting their wives. There are some husbands, who, to use the old proverb, have stretched the bow till it has broke," for any woman whose heart is divested of every virtuous principle, in such cases, will return

the compliment, especially when stimulated both by pride and revenge. She thinks a gallant's admiration repairs the affront which a husband puts upon her charms, by giving her place to another, perhaps less handsome than herself. This has been thought a plausible excuse by many women, and upon their husbands running astray, have diverted their melancholy hours at the expense of their honor. But whatever I have said of mutual feelings, I do not make any comparison in favor of my own sex, as I know the crime is much greater in the wife, and even detestable, modesty being the highest ornament of women, and the casting it off becomes a sin both against God and nature. For my part, if I commit a fault against my sex, in being for so much resignation, they must pardon me; for I cannot advise others to more obedience than I would wish to practice myself; and I intreat all those who despise me as being so tame a fool, that they would banish all anger out of their minds for one year, and then tell me if they have not more content in forgiving than returning a reproach.

I fear I have already exceeded the bounds of a letter, for which I ought to make an apology, but more words would give you trouble; therefore I will only beg of you to excuse and love

Your ever sincere and affectionate friend.

LETTER 159.

From a Lady to her Friend, whose Lover had basely deserted her and married another.

.

MY DEAR FRIEND,

Our expectation of happiness is generally so ill placed that it is no wonder we meet with perpetual disappointments. When our choice arises from passion we have so very blind a guide as will inevitably lead us to destruction; for though love appears then gentlest, yet our affections are so much the right of our Almighty Creator, that as often as we fix them immoderately upon any of the fading objects here below, we are certainly guilty of sacrilege to the Divine goodness, which fault is commonly punished by the very thing we doat on. This, I doubt not, has been your case, and not yours alone; for soon or late, few escape that mischief, especially amongst our weaker sex, whose tender nature leaves them most exposed to ruin; and though they see others shipwrecked before their eyes, will yet venture out to sea on the same bottom, insensible of danger, till they perish, and often fall unpitied.

Men have a thousand advantages over us, but in the affair of courtship they add cunning to all their other accomplishments, and are as zealous to deceive as if their lives would be made happy by the cheat. However, they will find it a sad mistake, at least if perjury is to be accounted for; although your false traitor, like many others, may look on that time as at a great distance. But I suppose he thinks himself excused, as being more knave than fool, which title, indeed, is so highly due to him, that I believe none will do him such manifest wrong as to dispute it; and I am sure, the blacker he appears, the greater reason you have to bless that Providence which permitted him to break the contract; for without doubt, he that proved so ill a lover to the best of mistresses would have made an intolerable husband to the best of wives;

and ill usage would have cost you more than his infidelity. I am sensible a heart so generous and constant as yours cannot easily efface the deep impression he has made in it; that must be the work of time, with God's assistance, which I hope will never fail you. I do assure you I am deeply touched with every thing that concerns you; nor is it without great regret that I submit to the unhappy circumstances which detain me from being the companion of your melancholy hours, which I should endeavor, with all my power, to divert.

You say it is a daily aggravation to your trouble, to reflect that you suffered yourself to be so easily imposed upon; but that, as I told you before, is our common fate, although all impostors are not equally industrious to be wicked; and you ought not to condemn your own judgment for want of sagacity to discover a cheat, as it would be to arraign the conduct of almost all the human race.

Pardon me, dear madam, for troubling you so far. Indeed I might have told you at first what I must mention now, and what you know already, that He only can give us comfort whom we seldom regard only when we are driven to it by necessity. Solomon, who had tried all the alluring charms of love and beauty, whose quality and riches gave him an opportunity to gratify every inclination without any bounds to his wishes, could call them all "vanity and vexation of spirit." It is no wonder then if every one of us discover the same truth to our own cost. Let us therefore resolve, as much as we can, to submit our wills to the will of our heavenly Father, who sees all our actions, and has so decreed that our way to everlasting happiness should be through the wilderness of affliction. Yours affectionately.

LETTER 160.

From a Lady who had formerly kept a Boarding School to another of the same profession, on Female Education.

MADAM,

I received your letter, containing the following request, viz: "What are the most proper methods to be used in conducting the education of young ladies, so as to avoid extravagance on the one hand, and meanness on the other? This is a very important question, and perhaps above my poor bilities to answer. However, as I have had many years experience in female education, I shall tell you my thoughts on the subject with the greatest freedom. It is the misfortune of the present age, that almost all ranks of people are so much infatuated as to strive who shall outdo one another in extravagance, and a daughter of an ordinary tradesman can scarce be distinguished from one of the nobility. If we inquire into the causes from which such effects flow, we shall find that they are partly owing to the conduct of their mothers, and partly to those intrusted with their education. I shall mention a few things relating to both and you can judge of their propriety.

Mothers should, on every occasion, teach their daughters that it is a duty incumbent on them not to have aspiring views beyond that station in which Providence has placed them. That humble, unaffected modesty in a stuff gown, will be preferred by every sensible person before either silks or Brussels lace. That it is a greater accomplishment for a

tradesman's daughter to wash a floor than to dance on it; and much more useful to be able to dress a joint of meat, than to point out the particular merits of an actress, and applaud or condemn a song. But the keepers of boarding schools are still more culpable than parents. No sooner is Miss placed in one of these seminaries than she is taught to consider herself a young lady, and is even honored with that appellation. Thus the seeds of vanity are sown in the first rudiments of learning, and continue to operate on her conduct as she advances in

years.

It is almost impossible for those who are any way acquainted with human nature to imagine that the girl who is taught to consider herself as a lady can ever be a proper wife for a tradesman, and common sense teaches her that she has nothing greater to expect.

But there is something still worse. She is not only unfit to be the wife of an honest, industrious tradesman, but the often occasions his ruin. She expects to be supported in the same extravagant manner as at the boarding school; dissipation takes place of prudence; public diversions are more attended to than domestic duties; and the unhappy husband, to enjoy peace, is often obliged to leave his business, that his lady may be honored with his company, The fatal effects of such extravagance are soon felt, and the woman who formerly considered herself as a lady, finds, by woful experience, that she had assumed an improper name.

The best, nay, the only way to educate children, consistent with their own station in life, is, on all occasions, to teach them not to expect more than their birth entitles them to. It would likewise be very beneficial to the nation, if those women who keep boarding schools were to instruct the girls in useful employments, rather than in useless arts, that cannot be of any real benefit to them, but on the contrary are a material injury in their intercourse with the world.

I have thus thrown together a few reflections upon the subject of female education, but it is impossible to treat it properly in the small compass of a letter, but I will endeavor to be more explicit in a future communication. In the mean time, believe me, dear madam,

LETTER 161.

Your sincere friend.

To a young Man on the commencement and pursuit of Trade. HAVING formerly stated to you the nature and advantages of pru dence and discretion, I will now instance the particulars wherein you are called to the exercise of it, viz:

1. In getting a full iusight into your calling; so as to know the parts and lawful arts and methods of it. "The nature and quality of the com modities you deal in; proper times and places for buying and vending them; the quantities of each that are most likely to produce advantage; the best method and art of manufacturing goods, and the certain nostrums which are in most callings, and on which much of the success of them depends; these and every other part should be well studied and fully understood. Leave it to others to pride themselves in the knowledge of callings foreign to their own; or to be curiously prying into the