THE MODERN JOE MILLER.

ANA.

ANCESTRAL PRIDE.

A FRENCH nobleman was so proud of his pedigree that he had a representation of the Flood painted, in which a man is seen running after Noah, exclaiming, "My good friend, save the archives of the C. family!" In the palace of an Italian Duke, there is a piece of tapestry which displays the Virgin Mary with an ancestor of the Duke's standing bareheaded before her. "Dear cousin," says she, pray be covered." He replies, Cousin, I would rather remain as I am.

66

AN UNSUCCESSFUL PIECE.

A

An eclipse of the moon was once announced to take place at Bologna, at two o'clock in the afternoon. crowd assembled, and as the eclipse did not take place quick enough, they shouted and stamped for it to begin. At length it commenced, and as the cloudy weather impaired the effect, the multitude hissed it with great vigour, as a spectacle that did not come up to their expectation.

TALLEYRAND.

A poet once walking with Talleyrand in the street, commenced to recite some of his own verses. Talleyrand, perceiving a man yawning at a short distance, exclaimed to the poet, "Not so loud; he hears you."

PRACTICAL RETORT.

At a provincial theatre there were only seven persons one evening in the house. The pit took offence at the bad acting of one of the performers, and hissed; whereupon the proprietor brought his company on the stage and outhissed the visitors.

B

HEROIC REPLY.

A Spartan once joined the ranks of his countrymen, who were proceeding to battle. He was lame, a circumstance that provoked the ridicule of his companions. "I came to fight, not to fly," was the response of the limping hero.

The Chinese are often compelled to make their dwellings in large boats on the rivers. An English gentleman observed one of these, who kept ducks for a living, practise an odd piece of ingenuity. In the day time the ducks were permitted to float about, but at night they were carefully collected. When the night set in, the keeper gave a whistle, whereat the ducks flew to him with violent speed. How do you suppose he had educated his flock so effectually? He always beat the last duck.

PUFF EXTRAORDINARY.

In a shop window in Cork there was posted up the following notice :-"Fresh eggs laid here every morning, by me, Patrick Murphy."