THANKS OF THE CLUB.

The thanks of the Club were then unanimously voted to the contributors to our present Number ;-also to the Authors of the following Articles, which will shortly appear :

The Bride Cake.

Somnia Montgomeriana, Nos. I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII.

The Sabbath.

The Two Hunch-Backs.

Memoirs of Peter Poeticus, Gent., late of the Hora Otiosæ in this kingdom.

A Sober Essay on Love, by A. Le Blanc.

Reminiscences of my Youth, Nos. II. III. IV.
On the Writings of Montgomery (James) by W.

On the Writings of Montgomery (Gerard) by Himself.

The Knight and the Knave, an old English Tale.

Essays on the Poems of Homer, and on the Manners of the Age in which he lived.

The thanks of the Club were voted to the Authors of "Sentiment," and "Bashfulness and Impudence," which have hardly sufficient" Finish" for insertion.

Mr. COURTENAY stated, that as a fragment by X. C., inserted in the Scrap-book, had been much admired, the verses would be printed entire in N° V.

Mr. COURTENAY moved the thanks of the Club to Gerard Montgomery, the support and ornament of "The Etonian," both in Prose and Poetry. Mr. Courtenay begged that, when he thanked the Hon. Gentleman most cordially for his zeal in the cause, he might not be considered as a party to the sentiments expressed in the Essays on Wordsworth and Coleridge, sentiments in some of which he confessed he by no means coincided.- GERARD briefly returned thanks.

GOLIGHTLY'S FROLICSOME PROPOSAL.

Mr. GOLIGHTLY rose, and said a few words to the following effect :

"Gentlemen,-I perceive that there is still lurking about us a certain degree of coldness and ill-will, which it ought to be our endeavour to subdue. Since business appears for the present to be at a stand, I propose that each member présent shall proceed to read to the meeting some one of the nume rous articles which every one of us has in preparation, and that every individual do continue on his legs as long as the Club think fit, and resume his seat when our unanimous voices shall cry Hold, enough!'"

The proposal was agreed to. Now, Reader, in the detail which it is my duty to give you, you will think I am rather recounting the drunken orgies of Bacchanalians, than the meeting of a sober and well-regulated Club. Indeed this has been the impression on the public mind ever since "The Etonian" made his appearance. I must correct the mistake. We assume at our meetings the fun, the frolic, the frivolity of inebriety,—and allow me to assure you it is only assumed. Eton is not the drunken spot which some have supposed it to be. Look through its list for 1820; and, when you find the name of Patrick O'Connor, draw a line under it :-you will then have underscored the only regular slave to the bottle in Eton-and not till then.

VON NICKERNEUCHT'S PHILOSOPHICAL RESIGNATION.

To proceed. Mr. COURTENAY, as in duty bound, set the example by a recitation of the following extract from a communication entitled, "Real Facts, descriptive of the Characters of the Wild Americans :—”

66

Captain Von Nickerneucht, in his forty-ninth year, after enduring all the hardships of fighting and philosophy, hot blows and cold meals, almost from his cradle; after studying all tongues, visiting all lands, and getting wounds in all services, was taken prisoner by a tribe of Indians in a skirmish on the banks of the Ohio. He was immediately presented to an old lady of high rank, as a substitute for her son, who had fallen; and it was notified to him, that in order to qualify himself to be a representative of the hero, he must submit to certain disagreeable operations. First, whereas the deceased Wastchinotkow, which signifies "the Great Bear," had been

unfortunate in the loss of his teeth, the Captain must submit to a similar deprivation. 66 Well," said he, "I swallowed three in a drunken bout; and after all, it is better to have them extracted like a philosopher, than knocked down one's throat like a fool." Next, whereas the deceased had been deprived of his scalp when he was left for dead by the hostile tribe of the Mogasees, the Captain must of course bow to necessity here also. "After all," said he, "it is better to take off the externals of the head, after the manner of the Mogasees, than poison the internals with apophthegms, and theories, and speculations, after the manner of the Philologists." Finally, whereas the deceased weighed but seven stone, and the Captain was large of bone, it was necessary to bleed him to a certain weight. "After all," said the Captain," it is better to be bled by a warm-hearted Chakapow Indian than by a hot-headed Parisian duellist." What a Stoic resignation! He died like a philosopher, for the bleeding killed him-" after all."—(Hear, hear.)

LE BLANC TURNED POET.

Mr. ALLEN LE BLANC burst out, to our astonishment, in the following strain:-

"I stood beside the moon! and there I watch'd, And saw into her visions, and beheld

The wits of men innumerable, clad

In robes of varied hues.-Mighty and gay,
And vain and violent spirits, all were mix'd,
As in a charnel-house.-

And I beheld

The wits of beauties, light and airy things,
Sporting about in beds of painted flowers,
All bright and all deceitful:—and the wits
Of sages, hunting in abyss profound
Conclusions and confusions. Poets' wits
Were soaring high, hither and thither, playing
With dreary thoughts and wild imaginings
Intense-unutterable-

FLATTERY AND PLAIN-SPEAKING.

Here the Hon. Gentleman was stopped, and Mr. O'CONNOR proposed that he should be fined for talking Greek. Mr. Oakley and Mr. Lozell began to recite their respective essays on "Flattery" and "Plain-speaking" together, so that I could but catch a sentence of each alternately. "I say that Flattery is" "a rough and insolent way of speaking" "which always denotes a servile and an" "unyielding mind.” “The Flatterer is always one who"" takes no pains whatever to make himself agreeable or pleasing: civility, on the contrary," "will always say to a thief, thief,' and to a fool, 'fool.'" -Mr. O'Connor here drowned the voices of the combatants by a Greek song, which will be inserted with a smart new type in N° V.

HODGSON AT A NE PLUS Ultra.

The spirits of the meeting were so exhilarated by the song and the singer, that it was impossible to curb them. A kind of discord arose, of which I could carry away no idea. Every member was haranguing upon some favourite subject with such excessive earnestness, that even the punch-bowl was neglected. I could not the next morning arrange, in the smallest degree, my notes of what passed; and therefore the reader must be content with my rough draught of the conversation.

"Were I to journey to Kamschatka-I would join the South Americans: how can they fail when they are fighting for their own homes; when their country's liberty is at stake -When bread has fallen, Sir-Prince Leboo--Arrah! Sandy, it may do in your country-Mr. O'Connor, ye'll gar me gie ye an-Order, order-Every body must study economy; nobody can get at the product without working the sumFill Sir Thomas's glass

-Bravo-very well! I shall open my treatise by a few general remarks on the visual nerves.-My great grandfather wore

a wig-I am often absorbed in fits of mental abstraction, from which nothing can relieve me but this one remedy-A pig's head with a lemon in his mouth-The Stocks gradually rising-I detest the stocks: Looney Mac-Mulligan had his ancles broke by 'em-Metaphysics, gentlemen-TheologyMr. Burton has discovered the Longitude.-Where will you find a more glorious character than our Wellington ?-Peter Bell-The Five Bills, Mr. Sterling--Nonsense, Wentworth, how can the Five Bills do any injury to-The prosperity of the Etonian-Silence-Bumpers!"

Here the PRESIDENT, finding his office of no effect, left the Chair without putting the question of adjournment. Sir F. WENTWORTH made some political strictures upon his precedents for so doing; for which he would have been fined if the Chairman had been in his place. The exuberant spirits of the Meeting soon after subsided, and they returned to their narrow dwellings."

(Signed)

RICHARD HODGSON,

Secretary.