and schemes to accomplish them, he em-am resolved to have the best creature living ployed the minutes, whilst the squire was in my coach; and so saying he ordered it absent with Joseph, in assuring her how to stop, whilst Joseph, at his request, halsorry he was for having treated her soloed to the parson, who, well knowing his roughly before he knew her merit; and told voice, made all the haste imaginable, and her that since Lady Booby was unwilling soon came up with them. He was desired by that she should settle in her parish, she was the master, who could scarce refrain from heartily welcome to his, where he promised laughter at his figure, to mount into the her his protection, adding, that he would coach, which he with many thanks refused, take Joseph and her into his own family, if saying he could walk by its side, and he'd she liked; which assurance he confirmed warrant he kept up with it; but he was at with a squeeze by the hand. She thanked length over-prevailed on. The squire now him very kindly, and said, 'She would ac- acquainted Joseph with his marriage; but quaint Joseph with the offer, which he he might have spared himself that labour; would be certainly glad to accept; for that for his servant, whilst Joseph was dressing, Lady Booby was angry with them both; had performed that office before. He conthough she did not know either had done tinued to express the vast happiness he enany thing to offend her; but imputed it to joyed in his sister, and the value he had for madam Slipslop, who had always been her all who belonged to her. Joseph made enemy.' many bows, and expressed as many acknowledgments: and Parson Adams, who now first perceived Joseph's new apparel, burst into tears with joy, and fell to rubbing his hands and snapping his fingers, as if he had been mad.

The squire now returned, and prevented any farther continuance of this conversation; and the justice out of a pretended respect for his guest, but in reality from an apprehension of a rival, (for he knew nothing of his marriage,) ordered Fanny into the kitchen, whither she gladly retired: nor did the squire, who declined the trouble of explaining the whole matter, oppose it.

They were now arrived at the Lady Booby's, and the squire, desiring them to wait a moment in the court, walked in to his aunt, and calling her out from his wife, acIt would be unnecessary, if I was able, quainted her with Joseph's arrival; saying, which indeed I am not, to relate the conver-Madam, as I have married a virtuous and sation between these two gentlemen, which rolled, as I have been informed, entirely on the subject of horse-racing. Joseph was soon dressed in the plainest dress he could find, which was a blue coat and breeches, with a gold edging, and a red waistcoat with the same: and as this suit, which was rather too large for the squire, exactly fitted him, so he became it so well, and looked so genteel, that no person would have doubted its being as well adapted to his quality as kis shape; nor have suspected, as one might, when my lord —————, or Sir - or Mr.

appear in lace or embroidery, that the tailor's man wore those clothes home on his back which he should have carried under his arm.

The squire now took leave of the justice; and, calling for Fanny, made her and Joseph, against their wills, get into the coach with him, which he then ordered to drive to the Lady Booby's. It had moved a few yards only, when the squire asked Joseph, if he knew who that man was crossing the field; for, added he, I never saw one take such strides before. Joseph answered eagerly, 'O sir, it is Parson Adams!- O la, indeed and so it is,' said Fanny; poor man, he is coming to do what he could for us. Well, he is the worthiest best-natured creature.' Ay,' said Joseph; God bless him! for there is not such another in the universe.' The best creature living sure,' cries Fanny. Is he " says the squire; then I

worthy woman, I am resolved to own her relations, and show them all a proper respect: I shall think myself therefore infinitely obliged to all mine, who will do the same. It is true, her brother hath been your servant, but he is now become my brother; and I have one happiness, that neither his character, his behaviour, or appearance, give me any reason to be ashamed of calling him so. In short he is now below, dressed like a gentleman, in which light I intend he shall hereafter be seen; and you will oblige me beyond expression, if you will admit him to be of our party; for I know it will give great pleasure to my wife, though she will not mention it.'

This was a stroke of fortune beyond the Lady Booby's hopes or expectation; she answered him.eagerly, Nephew, you know how easily I am prevailed on to do any thing which Joseph Andrews desiresPhoo, I mean which you desire me; and as he is now your relation, I cannot refuse to entertain him as such.' The squire told her, he knew his obligation to her for her compliance; and going three steps, returned and told her he had one more favour, which he believed she would easily grant, as she had accorded him the former. There is a young woman—'—' Nephew,' says she, don't let my good nature make you desire, as is too commonly the case, to impose on me. Nor think, because I have with so much condescension agreed to suffer

Slipslop then fell on Fanny, whom she | Slipslop, all thoughts of men are over with hacked and hewed in the like barbarous me. I have lost a husband, who-but if I nanner, concluding with an observation, should reflect, I should run mad. My future that there was always something in those ease must depend upon forgetfulness. Slipow-life creatures which must eternally ex-slop, let me hear some of thy nonsense, to inguish them from their betters. Really,' turn my thoughts another way. What said the lady, I think there is one exception dost thou think of Mr. Andrews? Why, I to your rule; I am certain you may guess think, says Slipslop, he is the handsomest, who I mean.'-'Not I, upon my word, most properest man I ever saw; and if I madam,' said Slipslop. I mean a young was a lady of the greatest degree, it would felow; sure you are the dullest wretch,' be well for some folks. Your ladyship may said the lady. O la! I am indeed. Yes, talk of custom, if you please; but I am truly, madam, he is an accession,' answered confidous there is no more comparison beSiipslop. 'Ay, is he not, Slipslop?' returned tween young Mr. Andrews, and most of the the lady. Is he not so genteel, that a young gentlemen who come to your ladyprince might, without a blush, acknowledge ship's house in London; a parcel of whipperhim for his son? His behaviour is such snapper sparks: I would sooner marry our that would not shame the best education. old Parson Adams. Never tell me what He borrows from his station a condescension people say, whilst I am happy in the arms in every thing to his superiors, yet unat-of him I love. Some folks rail against other tended by that mean servility which is called folks, because other folks have what some good-behaviour in such persons. Every folks would be glad of.'

thing he doth hath no mark of the base 'And so,' answered the lady, if you was motive of fear, but visibly shows some a woman of condition, you would really respect and gratitude, and carries with it marry Mr. Andrews?—Yes, I assure your the persuasion of love. And then for his ladyship,' replied Slipslop, if he would have virtues; such piety to his parents, such ten-me.'-Fool, idiot!' cries the lady; if he der affection to his sister, such integrity in would have a woman of fashion! is that a his friendship, such bravery, such good-question? No, truly, madam,' said Slipness; that if he had been born a gentleman, slop, 'I believe it would be none, if Fanny his wife would have possessed the most in- was out of the way; and I am confidous, if valuable blessing. To be sure, ma'am,' I was in your ladyship's place, and liked Mr. says Slipslop. But as he is,' answered the Joseph Andrews, she should not stay in the lady, if he had a thousand more good parish a moment. I am sure lawyer Scout qualities, it must render a woman of fashion would send her a-packing, if your ladyship contemptible, even to be suspected of think- would but say the word.' This last speech ing of him; yes, I should despise myself for of Slipslop raised a tempest in the mind of such a thought.'-To be sure, ma'am,' her mistress. She feared Scout had betraysaid Slipslop. And why to be sure?' re-ed her, or rather that she had betrayed herplied the lady; thou art always one's echo. self. After some silence, and a double change Is he not more worthy of affection than a of her complexion, first to pale and then to dirty country clown, though born of a red, she thus spoke: 'I am astonished at the family as old as the flood? or an idle worth-liberty you give your tongue. Would you less rake, or little puisny beau of quality? And yet these we must condemn ourselves to, in order to avoid the censure of the world; to shun the contempt of others we must ally ourselves to those we despise; we must prefer birth, title, and fortune, to real merit. It is a tyranny of custom, a tyranny we must comply with; for we people of fashion are the slaves of custom.'Marry come up!' said Slipslop, who now well knew which party to take: If I was a woman of your ladyship's fortune and quality, I would be a slave to nobody.'- Me,' said the lady; I am speaking, if a young woman of fashion, who had seen nothing of the world, should happen to like such a fellow.--Me, indeed! I hope thou dost not imagine'-'No, ma'am, to be sure,' cried Slipstop. No! what no?' cried the lady. 'Thou art always ready to answer, before thou hast heard one. So far I must allow he is a charming fellow. Me, indeed! No,

insinuate that I employed Scout against this wench, on account of the fellow?'—' La, ma'am,' said Slipslop, frighted out of her wits, 'I assassinate such a thing!-I think you dare not,' answered the lady; 'I believe my conduct may defy malice itself to assert so cursed a slander. If I had ever discovered any wantonness, any lightness in my behaviour; if I had followed the example of some whom thou hast, I believe, seen, in allowing myself indecent liberties, even with a husband; but the dear man who is gone,' (here she began to sob,) was he alive again,' (then she produced tears,) 'could not upbraid me with any one act of tenderness or passion. No, Slipslop, all the time I cohabited with him, he never obtained even a kiss from me, without my expressing reluctance in the granting it. I am sure he himself never suspected how much I loved him. Since his death, thou knowest, though it is almost six weeks (it wants but a day,) ago,

ર

CHAPTER VII.

Philosophical reflections, the like not to be found in any light French romance. Mr. Booby's grave advice to Joseph, and Fanny's encounter with a

beau.

to apply this observation to my present purpose, thou must know, that as the passion generally called love, exercises most of the talents of the female or fair world; so in this they now and then discover a small inclination to deceit; for which thou wilt not be angry with the beautiful creatures, when thou hast considered, that at the age of seven, or something earlier, miss is instructed by her mother, that master is a very monstrous kind of animal, who will, if she suffers him to come too near her, infallibly eat her up, and grind her to pieces: that so far from kissing or toying with him on her own accord, she must not admit him to kiss or

I have not admitted one visitor, till this fool, my nephew, arrived. I have confined myself quite to one party of friends. And can such a conduct as this fear to be arraigned? To be accused of a passion which I have always despised, but of fixing it on such an HABIT, my good reader, hath so vast a object, a creature so much beneath my no- prevalence over the human mind, that there tice! Upon my word, ma'am,' says Slip-is scarce any thing too strange or too slop, 'I do not understand your ladyship; strong to be asserted of it. The story of the nor know I any thing of the matter.'I miser, who, from long accustoming to cheat believe, indeed, thou dost not understand others, came at last to cheat himself, and me. Those are delicacies which exist only with great delight and triumph picked his in superior minds; thy coarse ideas cannot own pocket of.a guinea to convey to his comprehend them. Thou art a low crea- hoard, is not impossible or improbable. In ture of the Andrews' breed; a reptile of a like manner it fares with the practisers of lower order; a weed that grows in the com- deceit, who, from having long deceived mon garden of the creation.'-'I assure your their acquaintance, gain at last a power of ladyship,' says Slipslop, whose passions deceiving themselves, and acquire that very were almost of as high an order as her opinion, (however false,) of their own abilady's, 'I have no more to do with the com-lities, excellencies, and virtues, into which mon garden than other folks. Really, your they have for years perhaps endeavoured ladyship talks of servants, as if they were to betray their neighbours. Now, reader, not born of the Christian specious. Servants have flesh and blood, as well as quality; and Mr. Andrews himself is a proof that they have as good, if not better. And for my own part, I can't perceive my dears* are coarser than other people's; and I am sure, if Mr. Andrews was a dear of mine, I should not be ashamed of him in company with gentlemen; for whoever hath seen him in his new clothes, must confess he looks as much like a gentleman as any body. Coarse, quotha! I can't bear to hear the poor young fellow run down neither; for I will say this, I never heard him say an ill word of any body in his life. I am sure his coarseness doth not lay in his heart, for he is the best-toy with her and lastly, that she must natured man in the world; and as for his never have any affection towards him; for skin, it is no coarser than other people's, I if she should, all her friends in petticoats am sure. His bosom, when a boy, was as would esteem her a traitress, point at her, white as driven snow; and, where it is not and hunt her out of their society. These covered with hairs, is so still. Ifackins! if impressions being first received, are farther I was Mrs. Andrews, with a hundred a-year, and deeper inculcated by their school-misI should not envy the best she who wears a tresses and companions; so that by the age head. A woman that could not be happy of ten they have contracted such a dread with such a man, ought never to be so; and abhorrence of the above-named monfor if he can't make a woman happy, Ister, that, whenever they see him, they fly never yet beheld the man who could. I say again, I wish I was a great lady, for his sake. I believe when I had made a gentleman of him, he'd behave so, that nobody should deprecate what I had done; and I fancy, few would venture to tell him he was no gentleman, to his face, nor to mine neither.' At which words, taking up the candles, she asked her mistress, who had been some time in her bed, if she had any farther commands? who mildly answered, she had none; and telling her she was a comical creature, bid her good-night.

* Meaning, perhaps, ideas.

from him as the innocent hare doth from the greyhound. Hence, to the age of fourteen or fifteen, they entertain a mighty antipathy to master; they resolve, and frequently profess, that they will never have any commerce with him, and entertain fond hopes of passing their lives out of his reach, of the possibility of which they have so visible an example in their good maiden aunt. But when they arrive at this period, and have now passed their second climacteric, when their wisdom, grown riper, begins to see a little farther, and, from almost daily falling in master's way, to apprehend the great difficulty of keeping out of it; and when they observe him look often at them, and sometimes very eagerly and earnestly too,

(for the monster seldom takes any notice of them till at this age,) they then begin to think of their danger; and as they perceive they cannot easily avoid him, the wiser part bethink themselves of providing by other means for their security.

Joseph from his intended match, which would still enlarge their relation to meanness and poverty; concluding, that by a commission in the army, or some other genteel employment, he might soon put young Mr. Andrews on the foot of a gentleman; and that being once done, his accomplishments might quickly gain him an alliance which would not be to their discredit.'

They endeavour by all the methods they can invent, to render themselves so amiable in his eyes, that he may have no inclination to hurt them; in which they generally suc- Her nephew heartily embraced this proceed so well that his eyes, by frequent lan-posal; and finding Mr. Joseph with his guishing, soon lessen their idea of his fierce- wife, at his return to her chamber, he imness, and so far abate their fears, that they mediately began thus: My love to my dear venture to parley with him; and when they | Pamela, brother, will extend to all her relaperceive him so different from what he hath tions; nor shall I show them less respect been described, all gentleness, softness, kind- than if I had married into the family of a ness, tenderness, fondness, their dreadful duke. I hope I have given you some early apprehensions vanish in a moment; and testimonies of this, and shall continue to now, (it being usual with the human mind give you daily more. You will excuse me to skip from one extreme to its opposite, as therefore, brother, if my concern for your easily, and almost as suddenly, as a bird interest makes me mention what may be, from one bough to another,) love instantly perhaps, disagreeable to you to hear; but I succeeds to fear: but as it happens to per- must insist upon it, that, if you have any sons who have in their infancy been tho- value for my alliance or my friendship, you roughly frightened with certain no-persons will decline any thoughts of engaging farcalled ghosts, that they retain their dread ther with a girl who is, as you are a relation of those beings after they are convinced of mine, so much beneath you. I know there that there are no such things; so these may be at first some difficulty in your comyoung ladies, though they no longer appre-pliance, but that will daily diminish; and hend devouring, cannot so entirely shake off all that hath been instilled into them; they still entertain the idea of that censure, which was so strongly imprinted on their tender minds, to which the declarations of abhorrence they every day hear from their companions greatly contribute. To avoid this censure, therefore, is now their only care; for which purpose they still pretend the same aversion to the monster; and the more they love him, the more ardently they counterfeit the antipathy. By the continual and constant practice of which deceit on others they at length impose on themselves, and really believe they hate what they love. Thus indeed, it happened to Lady Booby, who loved Joseph long before she knew it; and now loved him much more than she suspected. She had indeed, from the time of his sister's arrival in the quality of her niece, and from the instant she viewed him in the dress and character of a gentleman, began to conceive secretly a design which love had concealed from herself, till a dream betrayed it to her.

She had no sooner risen, than she sent for her nephew. When he came to her, after many compliments on his choice, she told him, He might perceive in her condescension to admit her own servant to her table, that she looked on the family of Andrews as his relations, and indeed hers; that as he had married into such a family, it became him to endeavour by all methods to raise it as much as possible. At length she advised him to use all his art to dissuade

you will in the end sincerely thank me for my advice. I own indeed the girl is handsome; but beauty alone is a poor ingredient, and will make but an uncomfortable marriage.' 'Sir,' said Joseph, 'I assure you her beauty is her least perfection; nor do I know a virtue which that young creature is not possessed of.'

'As to her virtues,' answered Mr. Booby, 'you can be yet but a slender judge of them; but if she had never so many, you will find her equal in these among her superiors in birth and fortune, which now you are to esthem on a footing with yourself; at least I will take care they shall shortly be so, unless you prevent me by degrading yourself with such a match, a match I have hardly patience to think of, and which would break the hearts of your parents, who now rejoice in the expectation of seeing you make a figure in the world.'-'I know not,' replied Joseph, that my parents have any power over my inclinations; nor am I obliged to sacrifice my happiness to their whim or ambition: besides, I shall be very sorry to see that the unexpected advancement of my sister should so suddenly inspire them with this wicked pride, and make them despise their equals. I am resolved on no account to quit my dear Fanny; no, though I could raise her as high above her present station as you have raised my sister.'-'Your sister, as well as myself,' said Booby, are greatly obliged to you for the comparison; but, sir, she is not worthy to be compared in beauty to my Pamela ; nor hath she half her merit