CHAPTER II. Containing a scene of the tender kind. favourites, nay, those which you have plant- "THE doctor, madam,' continued Booth, 'spent his evening at Mrs. Harris's house, where I sat with him whilst he smoked his pillow pipe, as his phrase is. Amelia was retired above half an hour to her chamber, before I went to her. At my entrance, I found her on her knees, a posture in which I never disturbed her. In a few minutes she arose, came to me, and embracing me, said she had been praying for resolution to support the cruelest moments she had ever undergone, or could possibly undergo. I reminded her how much more bitter a fare-on me with all the tenderness imaginable, well would be on a death-bed, when we never could meet in this world, at least, again. I then endeavoured to lessen all those objects which alarmed her most, and particularly the danger I was to encounter; upon which head I seemed a little to comfort her but the probable length of my absence, and the certain length of my voyage, were circumstances which no oratory of mine could even palliate. "Oh, heavens!" said she, bursting into tears, "can I bear to think that hundreds, thousands, for aught I know, of miles or leagues, that lands and seas are between us. "What is the prospect from that mount in our garden, where I have sat so many happy hours with my Billy? What is the distance between that and the farthest hill which we see from thence, compared to the distance which will be between us! You cannot wonder at this idea; you must remember, my Billy, at this place, this very thought came formerly into my foreboding mind. I then begged you to leave the army. Why would you not comply?-did I not tell you then that the smallest cottage we could survey from the mount, would be with you a paradise to me; it would be so still-why can't my Billy think so? am I so much his superior in love? where is the dishonour, Billy? or if there be any, will it reach our ears in our little hut? are glory and fame, and not his Amelia, the happiness of my husband? go, then, purchase them at my expense. You will pay a few sighs, perhaps a few tears, at parting, and then new scenes will drive away the thoughts of poor Amelia from your bosom: but what assistance shall I have in my affliction? not that any change of scene could drive you one moment from my remembrance; yet here every object I behold will place your loved idea in the liveliest manner before my eyes. This is the bed in which you have reposed; that is the chair on which you sat. Upon these boards you have stood. These books you have read to me. Can I walk among our beds of flowers, without viewing your cried out, " And am I then such a wretch to wish for your presence at such a season? ought I not to rejoice that you are out of the hearing of my cries or the knowledge of my pains? If I die, will you not have escaped the horrors of a parting, ten thousand times more dreadful than this? Go, go, my Billy, the very circumstance which made me most dread your departure, hath perfectly reconciled me to it. I perceive clearly now that I was only wishing to support my own weakness with your strength, and to relieve my own pains at the price of yours. Believe me, my love, I am ashamed of myself."—I caught her in my arms with raptures not to be expressed in words; called her my heroine: sure none ever better deserved that name: after which we remained for some time speechless, and locked in each other's embraces.'-'I am convinced,' said Miss Matthews,' with a sigh, there are moments in life worth purchasing with worlds.' "At length the fatal morning came. I endeavoured to hide every pang of my heart, and to wear the utmost gayety in my countenance. Amelia acted the same part. In these assumed characters we met the family at breakfast; at their breakfast, I mean; for we were both full already. The doctor had spent above an hour that morning in discourse with Mrs. Harris, and had in some measure reconciled her to my departure. He now made use of every art to relieve the poor distressed Amelia: not by inveighing against the folly of grief, or by seriously advising her not to grieve; both which were sufficiently performed by Miss Betty. The doctor, on the contrary, had recourse to every means which might cast a veil over the idea of grief, and raise comfortable images in my angel's mind. He endeavoured to lessen the supposed length of my absence, by discoursing on matters which were more distant in time. He said he intended next year to rebuild a part of his parsonage-house.-"And you," captain, says he, "shall lay the corner stone, I promise you;" with many other instances of the like nature, which produced, I believe, some good effect on us both. 'Amelia spoke but little; indeed, more tears than words dropt from her; however, she seemed resolved to bear her affliction with resignation. But when the dreadful news arrived that the horses were ready, and I, having taken my leave of all the rest, at last approached her, she was unable to support the conflict with nature any longer; and, clinging around my neck, she cried-a "Farewell, farewell forever; for I shall never, never see you more." At which words, the blood entirely forsook her lovely cheeks, and she became a lifeless corpse in my arms. 'Amelia was so lulled by these arts, that she passed the day much better than I expected. Though the doctor could not make pride strong enough to conquer love, yet, he exalted the former to make some stand against the latter; insomuch, that my poor Amelia, I believe, more than once flattered herself, to speak the language of the world, that her reason had gained an entire victory over her passion; till love brought up reinforcement, if I may use that term, of tender ideas, and bore down all before him. 'In the evening, the doctor and I passed another half hour together, when he proposed to me to endeavour to leave Amelia asleep in the morning, and promised me to be at hand when she awaked, and to sup 'Amelia continued so long motionless, that the doctor, as well as Mrs. Harris, began to be under the most terrible apprehen-port her with all the assistance in his power. sions; so they informed me afterwards: for at that time I was incapable of making any observation. I had, indeed, very little more use of my senses than the dear creature whom I supported. At length, however, we were all delivered from our fears; and life again visited the loveliest mansion that human nature ever afforded it. He added, that nothing was more foolish, than for friends to take leave of each other. "It is true, indeed," says he, "in the common acquaintance and friendship of the world, this is a very harmless ceremony; but between two persons, who really love each other, the church of Rome never invented a penance half so severe as this, which we absurdly impose on ourselves." 'I had been, and yet was, so terrified with what had happened, and Amelia continued 'I greatly approved the doctor's propoyet so weak and ill, that I determined, what-sal; thanked him, and promised, if possiever might be the consequence, not to leave her that day: which resolution she was no sooner acquainted with, than she fell on her knees, crying, "Good Heaven! I thank thee for this reprieve at least. Oh! that every hour of my future life could be crammed into this dear day." ble, to put it in execution. He then shook me by the hand, and heartily wished me well, saying, in his blunt way," Well, boy, I hope to see thee crowned with laurels at thy return; one comfort I have at least, that stone walls and a sea will prevent thee from running away." When I had left the doctor, I repaired to my Amelia, whom I found in her chamber, employed in a very different manner from what she had been the preceding night; she was busy in packing up some trinkets in a casket, which she desired me to carry with me. This casket was her own work, and she had just fastened it as I came to her. Our good friend, the doctor, remained with us. He said, he had intended to visit a family in some affliction; "but I don't know," says he, "why I should ride a dozen miles after affliction, when we have enough here." Of all mankind, the doctor is the best of comforters. As his excessive good-nature makes him take vast delight in the office, so his great penetration into the human mind, 'Her eyes very plainly discovered what joined to his great experience, renders him had passed while she was engaged in her the most wonderful proficient in it; and he work; however, her countenance was now so well knows when to sooth, when to rea- serene, and she spoke, at least, with some son, and when to ridicule, that he never cheerfulness. But after some time, "You applies any of those arts improperly, which must take care of this casket, Billy," said is almost universally the case with the phy-she, "you must, indeed, Billy,-for--" here sicians of the mind, and which it requires very great judgment and dexterity to avoid. The doctor principally applied himself to ridiculing the dangers of the siege, in which he succeeded so well, that he sometimes forced a smile even into the face of Amelia. But what most comforted her, were the arguments he used to convince her of the probability of my speedy, if not immediate return. He said, the general opinion was, that the place would be taken, before our arrival there. In which case, we should have nothing more to do, than to make the best of our way home again. passion almost choked her, till a flood of tears gave her relief, and then she proceeded "for I shall be the happiest woman that ever was born when I see it again."-I told her, with the blessing of God that day would soon come. "Soon!" answered she, No, Billy, not soon; a week is an age; --but yet the happy day may come. It shall, it must, it will!-Yes, Billy, we shall meet never to part again;-even in this world I hope."-Pardon my weakness, Miss Matthews, but upon my soul I cannot help it,' cried he, wiping his eyes.-- Well, I wonder at your patience, and I will try it no longer. Amelia tired out with so long a struggle between a variety of passions, and having not closed her eyes during three successive nights, towards the morning fell into a profound sleep. In which sleep I left her-and having dressed myself with all the expedition imaginable, singing, whistling, hurrying, attempting by every method to banish thought, I mounted my horse, which I had over night ordered to be ready, and galloped away from that house where all my treasure was deposited. Thus, madam, I have, in obedience to your commands, run through a scene, which, if it hath been tiresome to you, you must yet acquit me of having obtruded upon you. This I am convinced of, that no one is capable of tasting such a scene who hath not a heart full of tenderness, and perhaps not even then, unless he hath been in the same situation.' CHAPTER III. I his head to go into the army; and he was desirous to serve under my command. The doctor consented to discharge him; his mother at last yielded to his importunities; and I was very easily prevailed on to list one of the handsomest young fellows in England. You will easily believe I had some little partiality to one whose milk Amelia had sucked; but as he had never seen the regiment, I had no opportunity to show him any great mark of favour. Indeed, he waited on me as my servant; and I treated him with all the tenderness which can be used to one in that station. "When I was about to change into the horse-guards, the poor fellow began to droop, fearing that he should no longer be in the same corps with me, though certainly that would not have been the case. However, he had never mentioned one word of his dissatisfaction.-He is indeed a fellow of a noble spirit; but when he heard that I was to remain where I was, and that we were to go to Gibraltar together, he fell into transports of joy, little short of madness. In short, the poor fellow had imbibed a very strong affection for me; though this was what I knew nothing of till long after. In which Mr. Booth sets forward on his journey. 'WELL, madam, we have now taken our leave of Amelia. I rode a full mile before once suffered myself to look back; but now being come to the top of a little hill, the 'When he returned to me, then, as I was last spot I knew which could give me a saying, with the casket, I observed his eyes prospect of Mrs. Harris's house, my reso- all over blubbered with tears. I rebuked lution failed: I stopped and cast my eyes him a little too rashly on this occasion. backward. Shall I tell you what I felt at Heyday! says I, what is the meaning of that instant? I do assure you I am not able. this; I hope I have not a milksop with me. So many tender ideas crowded at once into IfI thought you would show such a face to the my mind, that, if I may use the expression, enemy, I would leave you behind. “Your they almost dissolved my heart. And now, honour need not fear that," answered he, "I madam, the most unfortunate accident came shall find nobody there that I shall love well first into my head. This was, that I had in enough to make me cry." I was highly the hurry and confusion left the dear casket pleased with this answer, in which I thought behind me. The thought of going back at I could discover both sense and spirit. I first suggested itself; but the consequences then asked him what had occasioned those of that were too apparent. I therefore re-tears since he had left me, (for he had no solved to send my man, and in the mean time to ride on softly on my road. He immediately executed my orders, and after some time, feeding my eyes with that delicious and yet heart-felt prospect, I at last turned my horse to descend the hill, and proceeded about a hundred yards, when, considering with myself, that I should lose no time by a second indulgence, I again turned back, and once more feasted my sight with the same painful pleasure, till my man returned, bringing me the casket, and an account that Amelia still continued in the sweet sleep I left her. I now suddenly turned my horse for the last time, and with the utmost resolution pursued my journey. 'I perceived my man at his return-But before I mention any thing of him, it may be proper, madam, to acquaint you who he was. He was the foster brother of my Amelia. This young fellow had taken it into sign of any at that time ;) and whether he had seen his mother at Mrs. Harris's? He answered in the negative, and begged that I would ask him no more questions; adding that he was not very apt to cry, and he hoped he should never give me such another opportunity of blaming him. I mention this only as an instance of his affection towards me; for I never could account for those tears any otherwise than by placing them to the account of that distress in which he left me at that time. We travelled full forty miles that day without baiting, when arriving at the inn where I intended to rest that night. I retired immediately to my chamber, with my dear Amelia's casket, the opening of which was the nicest repast, and to which every other hunger gave way. 'It is impossible to mention to you all the little matters with which Amelia had furnished this casket. It contained medicines of all kinds, which her mother, who was the Lady Bountiful of that country, had supplied her with. The most valuable of all to me was a lock of her dear hair, which I have from that time to this worn in my bosom. What would I have then given for a little picture of my dear angel, which she had lost from her chamber about a month before? and which we had the highest reason in the world to imagine her sister had taken away; for the suspicion lay only between her and Amelia's maid, who was of all creatures the honestest, and whom her mistress had often trusted with things of much greater value; for the picture, which was set in gold, and had two or three little diamonds round it, was worth about twelve guineas only; whereas Amelia left jewels in her care of much greater value.' 'Sure,' cries Miss Matthews, she could not be such a paltry pilferer.' Not on account of the gold or the jewels,' cries Booth. We imputed it to mere spite, with which I assure you she abounds; and she knew that next to Amelia herself, there was nothing which I valued so much as this little picture; for such a resemblance did it bear of the original, that Hogarth himself did never, I believe, draw a stronger likeness. Spite therefore was the only motive to this cruel depredation: and indeed her behaviour on the occasion sufficiently convinced us both of the justice of our suspicion, though we neither of us durst accuse her; and she herself had the assurance to insist very strongly, (though she could not prevail,) with Amelia, to turn away her innocent maid, saying, she would not live in the house with a thief." Miss Matthews now discharged some curses on Miss Betty, not much worth repeating, and then Mr. Booth proceeded in his relation. CHAPTER IV. A sea-piece. THE next day we joined the regiment, which was soon after to embark. Nothing but mirth and jollity were in the countenance of every officer and soldier; and as I now met several friends whom I had not seen for above a year before, I passed several hours, in which poor Amelia's image seldom obtruded itself to interrupt my pleasure. To confess the truth, dear Miss Matthews, the tenderest of passions is capable of subsiding; nor is absence from our dearest friends so unsupportable as it may at first appear. Distance of time and place do really cure what they seem to aggravate; and taking leave of our friends resembles taking leave of the world; concerning which it hath been often said, that it is not death, but dying, which is terrible.' Here Miss Matthews burst into a fit of laughter, and cried, 'I sincerely ask your pardon; but I cannot help laughing at the gravity of your philosophy.' Booth answered, that the doctrine of the passions had been always his favourite study; that he was convinced every man acted entirely from that passion which was uppermost; Can I then think,' said he, without entertaining the utmost contempt for myself, that any pleasure upon earth could drive the thoughts of Amelia one instant from my mind? 'At length we embarked aboard a transport, and sailed for Gibraltar; but the wind, which was at first fair, soon chopped about; so that we were obliged, for several days, to beat to windward, as the sea phrase is. During this time, the taste which I had for a seafaring life did not appear extremely agreeable. We rolled up and down in a little narrow cabin, in which were three officers, all of us extremely sea-sick; our sickness being much aggravated by the motion of the ship, by the view of each other, and by the stench of the men. But this was but a little taste indeed of the misery which was to follow; for we were got about six leagues to the westward of Scilly, when a violent storm arose at north-east, which soon raised the waves to the height of mountains. The horror of this is not to be adequately described to those who have never seen the like. The storm began in the evening, and as the clouds brought on the night apace, it was soon entirely dark; nor had we, during many hours, any other light than what was caused by the jarring elements, which frequently sent forth flashes, or rather streams of fire; and whilst these presented the most dreadful objects to our eyes, the roaring of the winds, the dashing of the waves against the ship and each other, formed a sound altogether as horrible for our ears; while our ship, sometimes lifted up as it were to the skies, and sometimes swept away at once as into the lowest abyss, seemed to be the sport of the winds and the seas. The captain himself almost gave all for lost, and expressed his apprehension of being inevitably cast on the rocks of Scilly, and beat to pieces. And now, while some on board were addressing themselves to the Supreme Being, and others applying for comfort to strong liquors, my whole thoughts were entirely engaged by my Amelia. A thousand tender ideas crowded into my mind. I can truly say, that I had not a single consideration about myself, in which she was not concerned. Dying to me was leaving her; and the fear of never seeing her more, was a dagger stuck in my heart. Again, all the terrors with which this storm, if it reached her ears, must fill her gentle mind on my account, and the agonies which she must undergo, when she heard of my fate, gave me such intolerable pangs, that I now repented my resolution, and wished, I own I wished, that I had taken her advice, and preferred love and a cottage to all the dazzling charms of honour. And now, overladen, put directly off. madam, I am going to relate to you an instance of heroic affection in a poor fellow towards his master, to which love itself, even among persons of superior education, can produce but few similar instances. 'While I was tormenting myself with My poor man being unable to get me with those meditations, and had concluded my-him into the boat, leaped suddenly into the self as certainly lost, the master came into the cabin, and, with a cheerful voice, assured us that we had escaped the danger, and that we had certainly past to the westward of the rock. This was comfortable news to all present; and my captain, who had been some time on his knees, leaped suddenly up, and testified his joy with a great oath. A person unused to the sea would have been astonished at the satisfaction which now discovered itself in the master or in any on board; for the storm still raged with great violence, and the daylight, which now appeared, presented us with sights of horror sufficient to terrify minds which were not absolute slaves to the passion of fear; but so great is the force of habit, that what inspires a landsman with the highest apprehension of danger, gives not the least concern to a sailor, to whom rocks and quicksands are almost the only objects of terror. sea, and swam back to the ship; and when I gently rebuked him for his rashness, he answered, he chose rather to die with me, than to live to carry the account of my death to my Amelia; at the same time bursting into a flood of tears, he cried, "Good Heavens! what will that poor lady feel when she hears this!" The tender concern for my dear love endeared the poor fellow more to me, than the gallant instance which he had just before given of his affection towards myself. ance. And now, madam, my eyes were shocked with a sight, the horror of which can scarce be imagined: for the boat had scarce got four hundred yards from the ship, when it was swallowed up by the merciless waves, which now ran so high, that out of the number of persons which were in the boat none recovered the ship; though many of them we saw miserably perish before our eyes, some of them very near us, without any The master however, was a little mis-possibility of giving the least assisttaken in the present instance; for he had not left the cabin above an hour, before my man came running to me, and acquainted me that the ship was half full of water; and that the sailors were going to hoist out the boat and save themselves, and begged me to come that moment along with him, as I tendered my preservation. With this account, which was conveyed to me in a whisper, I acquainted both the captain and ensign; and we all together immediately mounted the deck, where we found the master making use of all his oratory to persuade the sailors that the ship was in no danger; and at the same time employing all his authority to set the pumps a-going, which he assured them would keep the water under, and save his dear Lovely Peggy, (for that was the name of the ship,) which he swore he loved as dearly as his own soul. Indeed this sufficiently appeared; for the leak was so great, and the water flowed in so plentifully, that his Lovely Peggy was halt filled, before he could be brought to think of quitting her; but now the boat was brought alongside the ship; and the master himself, notwithstanding all his love for her, quitted his ship, and leaped into the boat. Every man present attempted to follow his example, when I heard the voice of my servant roaring forth my name in a kind of agony. I made directly to the ship side, but was too late; for the boat being already 'But whatever we felt for them, we felt, I believe, more for ourselves, expecting every minute when we should share the same fate. Among the rest, one of our officers appeared quite stupified with fear. I never, indeed, saw a more miserable example of the great power of that passion: I must not, however, omit doing him justice, by saying, that I af terwards saw the same man behave well in an engagement, in which he was wounded. Though there likewise he was said to have betrayed the same passion of fear in his countenance. The other of our officers was no less stupified, (if I may so express myself,) with fool-hardiness, and seemed almost insensible of his danger. To say the truth, I have, from this and some other instances which ĺ have seen, been almost inclined to think, that the courage as well as cowardice of fools proceeds from not knowing what is or what is not the proper object of fear; indeed, we may account for the extreme hardiness of some men, in the same manner as for the terrors of children at a bugbear. The child knows not but that the bugbear is the proper object of fear, the blockhead knows not that a cannon-ball is so. 'As to the remaining part of the ship's crew, and the soldiery, most of them were dead drunk; and the rest were endeavour ing, as fast as they could, to prepare for death in the same manner. |