resistance, all repining! Could tears wash back again my angel from the grave, I should drain all the juices of my body through my eyes; but oh, could we fill up that cursed well with our tears, how fruitless would be all our sorrow!"—I think I repeat to you his very words; for the impression they made on me is never to be obliterated. He then proceeded to comfort us with the cheerful thought that the loss was entirely our own, and that my mother was greatly the gainer by the accident which we lamented. "I have a wife," cries he, " my children, and you have a mother, now amongst the heavenly choir; how selfish therefore is all our grief! how cruel to her are all our wishes?"-In this manner he talked to us near half an hour, though I must frankly own to you, his arguments had not the immediate good effect on us which they deserved; for we retired from him very little the better for his exhortations; however, they became every day more and more forcible upon our recollection; indeed, they were greatly strengthened by his example; for in this, as in all other instances, he practised the doctrines which he taught. From this day he never mentioned my mother more, and soon after recovered his usual cheerfulness in public; though I have reason to think he paid many a bitter sigh in private to that remembrance which neither philosophy nor christianity could expunge. they have but very little power to do you mischief. The truth of these observations I experienced, not only in my own heart, but in the behaviour of my father, whose philosophy seemed to gain a complete triumph over this latter calamity. 'Our family was now reduced to two; and my father grew extremely fond of me, as if he had now conferred an entire stock of affection on me, that had before been divided. His words, indeed, testified no less, for he daily called me his only darling, his whole comfort, his all. He committed the whole charge of his house to my care, and gave me the name of his little housekeeper, an appellation of which I was then as proud as any minister of state can be of his titles. But though I was very industrious in the discharge of my occupation, I did not, however, neglect my studies, in which I had made so great a proficiency, that I was become a pretty good mistress of the Latin language, and had made some progress in the Greek, I believe, madam, I have formerly acquainted you that learning was the chief estate I inherited of my father, in which he had instructed me from my earliest youth. 'The kindness of this good man had at length wiped off the remembrance of all losses; and I, during two years, led a life of great tranquillity, I think I might almost say of perfect happiness. of 'I was now in the nineteenth year my age, when my father's good fortune removed us from the county of Essex into Hampshire, where a living was conferred on him by one of his old school-fellows, of twice the value of what he was before possessed of. 'My father's advice, enforced by his example, together with the kindness of some of our friends, assisted by that ablest of all the mental physicians, Time, in a few months pretty well restored my tranquillity, when fortune made a second attack on my quiet. My sister, whom I dearly loved, and who as warmly returned my affection, had 'His predecessor in this new living had fallen into an ill state of health some time died in very indifferent circumstances, and before the fatal accident which I have rela-had left behind him a widow with two small ted. She was indeed at that time so much better, that we had great hopes of her perfect recovery; but the disorders of her mind on that dreadful occasion so affected her body, that she presently relapsed to her former declining state, and thence grew continually worse and worse, till. after a decay of near seven months, she followed my poor mother to the grave. 'I will not tire you, dear madam, with repetitions of grief; I will only mention two observations which have occurred to me from the reflections on the two losses I have mentioned. The first is, that a mind once violently hurt, grows, as it were, callous to any future impression of grief; and is never capable of feeling the same pangs a second time. The other observation is, that the arrows of fortune, as well as all others, derive their force from the velocity with which they are discharged; for when they approach you by slow and perceptible degrees, children. My father, therefore, who, with great economy, had a most generous soul, bought the whole furniture of the parsonagehouse at a very high price; some of it, indeed, he would have wanted; for though our little habitation in Essex was most completely furnished; yet it bore no proportion to the largeness of that house in which he was now to dwell. 'His motive, however, to the purchase was, I am convinced, solely generosity; which appeared sufficiently by the price he gave, and may be farther enforced by the kindness he showed the widow in another instance; for he assigned her an apartment for the use of herself and her little family; which, he told her, she was welcome to enjoy as long as it suited her convenience. As this widow was very young, and generally thought to be tolerably pretty, though I own she had a cast with her eyes which I never liked, my father, you may more violent passion with me than I had suppose, acted from a less noble principle ever seen him in before, and asked me, than I have hinted; but I must in justice whether I intended to return his parental acquit him; for these kind offers were made before ever he had seen her face; and I have the greatest reason to think, that, for a long time after he had seen her, he beheld her with much indifference. This act of my father's gave me, when I first heard it, great satisfaction; for I may, at least, with the modesty of the ancient philosophers, call myself a lover of generosity, but, when I became acquainted with the widow, I was still more delighted with what my father had done; for though I could not agree with those who thought her a consummate beauty, I must allow that she was very fully possessed of the power of making herself agreeable; and this power she exerted with so much success, with such indefatigable industry to oblige, that within three months I became in the highest manner pleased with my new acquaintance, and had contracted the most sincere friendship for her. fondness by assuming the right of controlling his inclinations? with more of the like kind, which fully convinced me what had passed between him and the lady, and how little I had injured her in my suspicions. 'Hitherto, I frankly own, my aversion to this match had been principally on my own account; for I had no ill opinion of the woman, though I thought neither her circumstances nor my father's age promised any kind of felicity from such an union; but now I learned some particulars, which, had not our quarrel become public in the parish, I should perhaps have never known. In short, I was informed that this gentle, obliging creature, as she had at first appeared to me, had the spirit of a tigress, and was, by many believed to have broken the heart of her first husband. "The truth of this matter being confirmed to me, upon examination, I resolved not to suppress it. On this occasion, fortune 'But if I was so pleased with the widow, seemed to favour me, by giving me a speedy my father was by this time enamoured of opportunity of seeing my father alone, and her. She had, indeed, by the most artful in good humour. He now first began to conduct in the world, so insinuated herself open his intended marriage, telling me that into his favour, so entirely infatuated him, he had formerly had some religious objecthat he never showed the least marks of tions to bigamy, but he had very fully concheerfulness in her absence, and could, insidered the matter, and had satisfied himself truth, scarce bear that she should be out of his sight. She had managed this matter so well, (0, she is the most artful of women!) that my father's heart was gone before I ever suspected it was in danger. The discovery, you may easily believe, madam, was not pleasing. The name of a mother-in-law sounded dreadful in my ears; nor could I bear the thought of parting again with a share in those dear affections, of which I had purchased the whole, by the loss of a beloved mother and sister. "In the first hurry and disorder of my mind, on this occasion, I committed a crime of the highest kind against all the laws of prudence and discretion. I took the young lady herself very roundly to task; treated her designs on my father as little better than a design to commit a theft; and, in my passion, I believe, said, she might be ashamed to think of marrying a man old enough to be her grandfather; for so in reality he almost was. "The lady, on this occasion, acted finely the part of a hypocrite. She affected to be highly affronted at my unjust suspicions, as she called them; and proceeded to such asseverations of her innnocence, that she almost brought me to discredit the evidence of my own eyes and ears. My father, however, acted much more honestly; for he fell, the next day, into a of its legality. He then faithfully promised me, that no second marriage should in the least impair his affection for me; and concluded with the highest eulogiums on the goodness of the widow, protesting that it was her virtues and not her person of which he was enamoured. 'I now fell upon my knees before him, and bathing his hand in my tears, which flowed very plentifully from my eyes, acquainted him with all I had heard; and was so very imprudent, I might almost say so cruel, as to disclose the author of my information. 'My father heard me without any indication of passion; and answered coldly, that if there was any proof of such facts, he should decline any farther thoughts of this match: "But, child," said he, "though I am far from suspecting the truth of what you tell me, as far as regards your knowledge, yet you know the inclination of the world to slander." However, before we parted, he promised to make a proper inquiry into what I had told him.-But I ask your pardon, dear madam; I am running minutely into those particulars of my life, in which you have not the least concern.' Amelia stopped her friend short in her apology, and though, perhaps, she thought her impertinent enough, yet (such was her good breeding,) she gave her many assurances of a curiosity to know every inci dent of her life which she could remember; ill usage; and from this consciousness, after which Mrs. Bennet proceeded as in the next chapter. CHAPTER III. Continuation of Mrs. Bennet's story. he began inveterately to hate me. Of this hatred he gave me numberless instances, and I protest to you, I know not any other reason for it than what I have assigned; and the cause, as experience hath convinced me, is adequate to the effect. While I was in this wretched situation, 'I THINK, madam,' said Mrs. Bennet, I my father's unkindness having almost told you my father promised me to inquire broken my heart, he came one day into my farther into the affair, but he had hardly room, with more anger in his countenance time to keep his word; for we separated than I had ever seen; and after bitterly uppretty late in the evening, and early the braiding me with my undutiful behaviour next morning he was married to the widow. both to himself and his worthy consort, he "But though he gave no credit to my in-bid me pack up my alls, and immediately formation, I had sufficient reason to think he did not forget it, by the resentment which he soon discovered to both the persons whom I had named as my informers. 'Nor was it long before I had good cause to believe, that my father's new wife was perfectly well acquainted with the good opinion I had of her, not only from her usage of me, but from certain hints which she threw forth with an air of triumph. One day, particularly, I remember she said to my father, upon his mentioning his age, "O, my dear! I hope you have many years yet to live! unless, indeed, I should be so cruel as to break your heart." She spoke these words, looking me full in the face, and accompanied them with a sneer, in which the highest malice was visible, under a thin covering of affected pleasantry. 'I will not entertain you, madam, with any thing so common as the cruel usage of a step-mother; nor of what affected me much more, the unkind behaviour of a father under such an influence. It shall suffice only to tell you, that I had the mortification to perceive the gradual and daily decrease of my father's affection. His smiles were converted into frowns; the tender appellations of child, and dear, were exchanged for plain Molly, that girl, that creature, and sometimes much harder names. I was at first turned all at once into a cipher; and at last seemed to be considered as a nuisance in the family. Thus altered was the man of whom I gave you such a character at the entrance of my story; but, alas! he no longer acted from his own excellent disposition; but was in every thing governed and directed by my mother-in-law. In fact, whenever there is great disparity of years between husband and wife, the younger is, I believe, always possessed of absolute power over the elder; for superstition itself is a less firm support of absolute power than dotage. prepare to quit his house; at the same time gave me a letter, and told me that would acquaint me where I might find a home; adding, he doubted not but I expected, and had indeed solicited the invitation; and left me with a declaration that he would have no spies in his family. "The letter, I found on opening it, was from my father's own sister; but before I mention the contents, I will give you a short sketch of her character, as it was somewhat particular. Her personal charms were not great; for she was very tall, very thin, and very homely. Of the defect of her beauty, she was, perhaps, sensible; her vanity, therefore, retreated into her mind, where there is no looking-glass, and consequently where we can flatter ourselves with discovering almost whatever beauties we please. This is an encouraging circumstance; and yet I have observed, dear Mrs. Booth, that few women ever seek these comforts from within, till they are driven to it by despair of finding any food for their vanity from without. Indeed, I believe the first wish of our whole sex is to be handsome.' Here both the ladies fixed their eyes on the glass, and both smiled. My aunt, however,' continued Mrs. Bennet, from despair of gaining any applause this way, had applied herself entirely to the contemplation of her understanding, and had improved this to such a pitch, that at the age of fifty, at which she was now arrived, she had contracted a hearty contempt for much the greater part of both sexes; for the women, as being idiots, and for the men, as the admirers of idiots. That word and fool were almost constantly in her mouth, and were bestowed with great liberality among all her acquaintance. This lady had spent one day only at my father's house in near two years: it was about a month before his second marriage. At her departure, she took occasion to But though his wife was so entirely mis-whisper me her opinion of the widow, whom tress of my father's will, that she could make him use me ill, she could not so perfectly subdue his understanding, as to prevent him from being conscious of such she called a pretty idiot, and wondered how her brother could bear such company under his roof; for neither she nor I had at that time any suspicion of what afterwards happened. "The letter which my father had just received, and which was the first she had sent him since his marriage, was of such a nature, that I should be unjust if I blamed him for being offended: fool and idiot were both plentifully bestowed in it as well on himself as on his wife. But what, perhaps, had principally offended him, was that part which related to me; for after much panegyric on my understanding, and saying he was unworthy of such a daughter, she considered his match not only as the highest indiscretion, as it related to himself, but as a downright act of injustice to me. One expression in it I shall never forget,-"You have placed," said she, "a woman above your daughter, who, in understanding, the only valuable gift of nature, is the lowest in the whole class of pretty idiots." After much more of this kind, it concluded with inviting me to her house. 'I can truly say, that when I read the letter I entirely forgave my father's suspicion, that I had made some complaints to my aunt of his behaviour; for though I was indeed innocent, there was surely colour enough to suspect the contrary. Though I had never been greatly attached to my aunt, nor indeed had she formerly given me any reason for such an attachment; yet I was well enough pleased with her present invitation. To say the truth, I led so wretched a life where I then was, that it was impossible not to be a gainer by any exchange. I could not, however, bear the thoughts of leaving my father with an impression on his mind against me which I did not deserve. I endeavoured, therefore, to remove all his suspicion of my having complained to my aunt, by the most earnest asseverations of my innocence; but they were all to no purpose. All my tears, all my vows, and all my entreaties were fruitless. My new mother, indeed, appeared to be my advocate; but she acted her part very poorly, and far from counterfeiting any desire of succeeding in my suit, she could not conceal the excessive joy which she felt on the occasion. father's letter, which I delivered her soon after I came to myself, pretty well, I believe, cured her surprise. She often smiled with a mixture of contempt and anger, while she was reading it; and having pronounced her brother to be a fool, she turned to me, and with as much affability as possible, (for she is no great mistress of affability,) said, “Don't be uneasy, dear Molly; for you are come to the house of a friend: of one who hath sense enough to discern the author of all the mischief; depend upon it, child, I will ere long make some people ashamed of their folly." This kind reception gave me some comfort, my aunt assuring me that she would convince him how unjustly he had accused me of having made any complaints to her. A paper war was now began between those two, which not only fixed an irreconcileable hatred between them, but confirmed my father's displeasure against me; and, in the end, I believe, did me no service with my aunt; for I was considered by both as the cause of their dissension; though, in fact, my step-mother, who very well knew the affection my aunt had for her, had long since done her business with my father; and as for my aunt's affection towards him, it had been bating several years, from an apprehension that he did not pay sufficient deference to her understanding. 'I had lived about half a year with my aunt, when I heard of my step-mother's being delivered of a boy, and the great joy my father expressed on that occasion; but, poor man, he lived not long to enjoy his happiness, for within a month afterwards I had the melancholy news of his death. 'Notwithstanding all the disobligations I had lately received from him, I was sincerely afflicted at my loss of him. All his kindness to me in my infancy, all his kindness to me while I was growing up, recurred to my memory, raised a thousand tender, melancholy ideas,and totally obliterated all thoughts of his latter behaviour, for which I made also every allowance and every excuse in my power. 'But what may perhaps appear more extraordinary, my aunt began soon to speak of him with concern. She said he had some understanding formerly, though his passion for that vile woman had in a great measure obscured it; and one day, when she was in an ill humour with me, she had the cruelty to throw out a hint, that she had never quarrelled with her brother, if it had not been on my account. 'Well, madam, the next day I departed for my aunt's, where, after a long journey of forty miles, I arrived, without having once broke my fast on the road; for grief is as capable as food of filling the stomach; and I had too much of the former to admit any of the latter. The fatigue of my journey, and the agitation of my mind, joined to my fasting, so overpowered my spirits, 'My father, during his life, had allowed that when I was taken from my horse, I im- my aunt very handsomely for my board; mediately fainted away in the arms of the for generosity was too deeply riveted in his man who helped me from my saddle. My nature to be plucked out by all the power aunt expressed great astonishment at seeing of his wife. So far, however, she prevailed, me in this condition, with my eyes almost that though he died possessed of upwards swollen out of my head with tears; but my of 2000l. he left me no more than 100% death-bed, to assist their cousin with money sufficient to keep him at the university, till he should be capable of ordination. which, as he expressed in his will, was to set the living, considered him no farther in his me up in some business, if I had the grace will, but divided all the fortune of which he to take to any. died possessed, between his two daughters; 'Hitherto my aunt had, in general, treat-recommending it to them, however, on his ed me with some degree of affection; but her behaviour began now to be changed. She soon took an opportunity of giving me to understand, that her fortune was insufficient to keep me; and as I could not live on the interest of my own, it was high time for me to consider about going into the world. She added, that her brother having mentioned my setting up in some business in his will, was very foolish; that I had been bred to nothing, and besides, that the sum was too trifling to set me up in any way of reputation; she desired me, therefore, to think of immediately going into service. 'This advice was perhaps right enough: and I told her I was very ready to do as she directed me; but I was, at that time in an ill state of health; I desired her therefore to let me stay with her, till my legacy, which was not to be paid till a year after my father's death, was due; and I then promised to satisfy her for my board; to which she readily consented. 'And now, madam,' said Mrs. Bennet, sighing, I am going to open to you those matters which lead directly to that great catastrophe of my life, which hath occasioned my giving you this trouble, and of trying your patience in this manner.' Amelia, notwithstanding her impatience, made a very civil answer to this; and then Mrs. Bennet proceeded to relate what is written in the next chapter. CHAPTER IV. "THE curate of the parish where my aunt dwelt, was a young fellow of about fourand-twenty. He had been left an orphan in his infancy, and entirely unprovided for; when an uncle had the goodness to take care of his education, both at school and at the university. As the young gentleman was intended for the church, his uncle, though he had two daughters of his own, and no very large fortune, purchased for him the next presentation of a living of near 2001. a year. The incumbent, at the time of the purchase, was under the age of sixty, and in apparent good health; notwithstanding which, he died soon after the bargain, and long before the nephew was capable of orders; so that the uncle was obliged to give the living to a clergyman, to hold it till the young man came of proper age. "The young gentleman had not attained his proper age of taking orders, when he had the misfortune to lose his uncle and only friend; who thinking he had sufficiently provided for his nephew by the purchase of 'But as no appointment of this kind was in the will, the young ladies, who received about 2000l. each, thought proper to disregard the last words of their father; for, besides that both of them were extremely tenacious of their money, they were great enemies to their cousin, on account of their father's kindness to him; and thought proper to let him know that they thought he had robbed them of too much already. "The poor young fellow was now greatly distressed; for he had yet above a year to stay at the university, without any visible means of sustaining himself there. In this distress, however, he met with a friend, who had the good-nature to lend him the sum of twenty pounds, for which he only accepted his bond for forty, and which was to be paid within a year after his being possessed of his living; that is, within a year after his becoming qualified to hold it. With this small sum, thus hardly obtained, the poor gentleman made a shift to struggle with all difficulties, till he became of due age to take upon himself the character of a deacon. He then repaired to that clergyman, to whom his uncle had given the living upon the conditions above-mentioned, to procure a title to ordination; but this, to his great surprise and mortification, was absolutely refused him. "The immediate disappointment did not hurt him so much as the conclusion he drew from it; for he could have but little hopes, that the man who could have the cruelty te refuse him a title, would vouchsafe afterwards to deliver up to him a living of so considerable a value; nor was it long before this worthy incumbent told him plainly, that he valued his uncle's favours at too high a rate to part with them to any one; nay, he pretended scruples of conscience, and said, that if he had made any slight promises, which he did not now well remember, they were wicked and void; that he looked upon himself as married to his parish, and he could no more give it up, than he could give up his wife without sin. "The poor young fellow was now obliged to seek farther for a title, which, at length, he obtained from the rector of the parish where my aunt lived. He had not long been settled in the curacy, before an intimate acquaintance grew between him and my aunt; for she was a great admirer of the clergy, and used frequently to say they were the only conversible creatures in the country. |