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part? It will waste but a little chalk more; and if you never pay me a shilling, the loss will not ruin me.' Adams liked the invitation very well, especially as it was delivered with so hearty an accent. He shook his host by the hand, and thanking him, said, 'He would tarry another pot, rather for the pleasure of such worthy company, than for the liquor; adding, he was glad to find some Christians left in the kingdom, for that he almost began to suspect that he was sojourning in a country inhabited only by Jews and Turks.'

The kind hast produced the liquor, and Joseph with Fanny retired into the garden; where, while they solaced themselves with amorous discourse, Adams sat down with his host; and both filling their glasses and lighting their pipes, they began that dialogue which the reader will find in the next chapter.

CHAPTER XVII.

A dialogue between Mr. Abraham Adams and his host, which, by the disagreement in their opinions, seemed to threaten an unlucky catastrophe, had it not been timely prevented by the return of the

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squire, with a letter from his master, that he was fit for the university; the squire, instead of minding his promise, or sending him thither at his expense, only told his father that the young man was a fine scholar, and it was a pity he could not afford to keep him at Oxford for four or five years more, by which time, if he could get him a curacy, he might have him ordained. The farmer said, He was not a man sufficient to do any such thing.' Why then,' answered the squire, I am very sorry you have given him so much learning; for if he cannot get his living by that, it will rather spoil him for any thing else; and your other son, who can hardly write his name, will do more at ploughing and sowing, and is in a better condition than he.' And indeed so it proved; for the poor lad, not finding friends to maintain him in his learning, as he had expected, and being unwilling to work, fell to drinking, though he was a very sober lad before; and in a short time, partly with grief, and partly with good liquor, fell into a consumption, and died.-Nay, I can tell you more still: There was another, a young woman, and the handsomest in all this neighbourhood, whom he enticed up to London, promising to make her a gentle'SIR,' said the host, 'I assure you, you woman to one of your women of quality; are not the first to whom our squire hath but instead of keeping his word, we have promised more than he hath performed. since heard, after having a child by her himHe is so famous for this practice, that his self, she became a common whore; then word will not be taken for much by those kept a coffee-house in Covent-garden; and who know him. I remember a young fel- a little after died of the French distemper in low whom he promised his parents to make a jail.--I could tell you many more stories: an exciseman. The poor people, who but how do you imagine he served me mycould ill afford it, bred their son to writ-self? You must know, sir I was bred a ing and accounts, and other learning, to qualify him for the place; and the boy held up his head above his condition with these hopes; nor would he go to plough, nor to any other kind of work; and went constantly drest as fine as could be, with two clean Holland shirts a week, and this for several years; till at last he followed the squire up to London, thinking there to mind him of his promises; but he could never get sight of him. So that being out of money and business, he fell into evil company, and wicked courses; and in the end came to a sentence of transportation, the news of which broke the mother's heart. -I will tell you another true story of him: There was a neighbour of mine, a farmer, who had two sons whom he bred up to the business. Pretty lads they were. Nothing would serve the squire, but that the youngest must be made a parson. Upon which, he persuaded the father to send him to school, promising that he would afterwards maintain him at the university; and when he was of a proper age, give him a living. But after the lad had been seven years at school and his father brought him to the

seafaring man, and have been many voyages; till at last I came to be master of a ship myself, and was in a fair way of making a fortune, when I was attacked by one of those cursed guarda-costas, who took our ships before the beginning of the war; and after a fight, wherein I lost the greater part of my crew, my rigging being all demolished, and two shots received between wind and water, I was forced to strike. The villains carried off my ship, a brigantine of 150 tons,-a pretty creature she was,--and put me, a man, and a boy, into a little bad pink, in which, with much ado, we at last made Falmouth; though I believe the Spaniards did not imagine she could possibly live a day at sea. Upon my return hither, where my wife, who was of this country, then lived, the squire told me he was so pleased with the defence I had made against the enemy, that he did not fear getting me promoted to a lieutenancy of a man of war, if I would accept of it; which I thankfully assured him I would. Well, sir, two or three years passed, during which I had many repeated promises, not only from the squire, but, (as he told me,) from

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the lords of the admiralty. He never re-, Archimedes was found at the taking of turned from London, but I was assured I Syracuse. I suppose you have sailed among might be satisfied now, for I was certain of the Cyclades, and passed the famous straits the first vacancy; and what surprises me which take their name from the unfortunate still, when I reflect on it, these assurances Helle, whose fate is sweetly described by were given me with no less confidence, after Apollonius Rhodius; you have passed the so many disappointments, than at first. At very spot, I conceive, where Dædalus fell last, sir, growing weary, and somewhat sus-into that sea, his waxen wings being melted picious, after so much delay, I wrote to a by the sun; you have traversed the Euxine friend in London, who I knew had some sea, I make no doubt; nay, you may have acquaintance at the best house in the admi-been on the banks of the Caspian, and callralty, and desired him to back the squire's ed at Colchis, to see if there is ever another interest; for indeed I feared he had solicited golden fleece.'-'Not I, truly, master,' anthe affair with more coldness than he pre-swered the host: 'I never touched at any tended. And what answer do you think of these places.' But I have been at all my friend sent me? Truly, sir, he ac- these,' replied Adams. Then, I suppose,' quainted me that the squire had never men- cries the host, you have been at the East tioned my name at the admiralty in his life; Indies; for there are no such, I will be and unless I had much faithfuller interest, sworn, either in the West or the Levant.' advised me to give over my pretensions; Pray, where is the Levant?' quoth Adams: which I immediately did, and, with the con- that should be in the East Indies by right.' currence of my wife, resolved to set up an -O ho! you are a pretty traveller,' cries alehouse, where you are heartily welcome; the host, and not know the Levant. My and so my service to you; and may the service to you, master; you must not talk squire, and all such sneaking rascals go to of these things with me, you must not tip the devil together.'-'O fie!" says Adams, us the traveller; it won't go here.'-'Since O fie! He is indeed a wicked man; but thou art so dull to misunderstand me still,' G-d will, I hope, turn his heart to repent- quoth Adams, 'I will inform thee, the travelance. Nay, if he could but once see the ling I mean is in books, the only way of meanness of this detestable vice; would he travelling by which any knowledge is to be but once reflect that he is one of the most acquired. From them I learn what I assertscandalous, as well as pernicious liars, sure ed just now, that nature generally imprints he must despise himself to so intolerable a such a portraiture of the mind in the coundegree, that it would be impossible for him tenance, that a skilful physiognomist will to continue a moment in such a course. rarely be deceived. I presume you have And to confess the truth, notwithstanding never read the story of Socrates to this purthe baseness of this character, which he pose, and therefore I will tell it you: A cerhath too well deserved, he hath in his coun-tain physiognomist asserted of Socrates, tenance sufficient symptoms of that bona that he plainly discovered by his features indoles, that sweetness of disposition, which that he was a rogue in his nature. furnishes out a good Christian.'- Ah, mas-racter so contrary to the tenour of all this ter, master!' says the host, if you had great man's actions, and the generally retravelled as far as I have, and conversed ceived opinion concerning him, incensed the with the many nations where I have traded, boys of Athens so that they threw stones at you would not give any credit to a man's the physiognomist, and would have democountenance. Symptoms in his counte-lished him for his ignorance, had not Socranance, quotha! I would look there perhaps, tes himself prevented them by confessing to see whether a man had had the small-pox, but for nothing else.' He spoke this with so little regard to the parson's observation, that it a good deal nettled him; and taking his pipe hastily from his mouth, he thus answered: Master of mine, perhaps I have travelled a great deal farther than you, without the assistance of a ship. Do you imagine sailing by different cities or countries is travelling? No.

'Cœlum non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt.' I can go farther in an afternoon than you in a twelve-month. What, I suppose you have seen the Pillars of Hercules, and perhaps the walls of Carthage. Nay, you may have heard Scylla, and seen Charybdis; you may have entered the closet where

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the truth of his observations, and acknowledging, that, though he corrected his disposition by philosophy, he was indeed naturally as inclined to vice as had been predicated of him. Now, pray resolve me,how should a man know this story, if he had not read it?'- Well, master,' said the host, and what signifies it whether a man knows it or no? He who goes abroad as I have done, will always have opportunities enough of knowing the world without troubling his head with Socrates or any such fellows.'-Friend,' cries Adams, if a man should sail round the world, and anchor in every harbour of it, without learning, he would return home as ignorant as he went out.'- Lord help you,' answered the host: there was my boatswain, poor fellow! he

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could scarce either write or read, and yet he all the necessaries of life? I speak chiefly would navigate a ship with any master of a with regard to the sailors.'-You should man of war; and a very pretty knowledge say the extravagancies of life,' replied the of trade he had too.'- Trade,' answered parson; but admit they were the necessaAdams, 'as Aristotle proves in his first chap-ries, there is something more necessary than ter of Politics, is below a philosopher, and life itself, which is provided by learning; unnatural as it is managed now.' The host I mean the learning of the clergy. WE looked steadfastly at Adams, and after a clothes you with piety, meekness, humility, minute's silence asked him, 'If he was one charity, patience, and all the other christian of the writers of the Gazetteers? for I have virtues? Who feeds your souls with the heard,' says he,' they are writ by parsons.' milk of brotherly love, and diets them with -Gazetteers!' answered Adams; What all the dainty food of holiness, which at is that? It is a dirty newspaper,' replied once cleanses them of all impure carnal afthe host, which hath been given away all fections, and fattens them with the truly over the nation for these many years, to rich spirit of grace. Who doth this?'abuse trade and honest men, which I would Ay, who, indeed!' cries the host; for I do not suffer to lie on my table, though it hath not remember ever to have seen any such been offered me for nothing.' clothing, or such feeding. And so in the mean time, master, my service to you.'Adams was going to answer with some severity, when Joseph and Fanny returned, and pressed his departure so eagerly, that he would not refuse them; and so grasping his crabstick, he took leave of his Lost, (neither of them being so well pleased with each other as they had been at their first sitting down together,) and with Joseph and Fanny, who both expressed much impatience, departed, and now all together renewed their journey.

Not I, truly,' said Adams; I never write any thing but sermons; and I assure you I am no enemy to trade, whilst it is consistent with honesty; nay, I have always looked on the tradesman as a very valuable member of society, and, perhaps, inferior to none but the man of learning."- No, I believe he is not, nor to him neither,' answered the host. Of what use would learning be in a country without trade? What would all you parsons do to clothe your backs and feed your bellies? Who fetches you your silks, and your linens, and your wines, and

CHAPTER I.

BOOK III.

many others; where, facts being set forth Matter prefatory in praise of biography. in a different light, every reader believes as he pleases; and, indeed, the more judicious NOTWITHSTANDING the preference which and suspicious very justly esteem the whole may be vulgarly given to the authority of as no other than a romance, in which the those romance writers who entitle their writer hath indulged a happy and fertile inbooks, "the History of England, the His-vention. But though these widely differ in tory of France, of Spain, &c." it is most the narrative of facts; some ascribing viccertain, that truth is to be found only in the tory to the one, and others to the other party; works of those who celebrate the lives of some representing the same man as a rogue, great men, and are commonly called biogra- while others give him a great and honest phers, as the others should indeed be term- character; yet all agree in the scene where ed topographers, or chorographers: words the fact is supposed to have happened; and which might well mark the distinction be- where the person, who is both a rogue and tween them; it being the business of the an honest man, lived. Now, with us biolatter, chiefly to describe countries and cities, graphers the case is different; the facts we which, with the assistance of maps, they do deliver may be relied on, though we often pretty justly, and may be depended upon: mistake the age and country wherein they but as to the actions and characters of men, happened: for though it may be worth the their writings are not quite so authentic, of examination of critics, whether the shepherd which there needs no other proof than those Chrysostom, who, as Cervantes informs us. eternal contradictions occurring between died for love of the fair Marcella, who hated two topographers, who undertake the his- him, was ever in Spain, will any one doubt tory of the same country: for instance, be- but that such a silly fellow hath really existtween my lord Clarendon and Mr. Whit-ed? Is there in the world such a sceptic as lock, between Mr. Echard and Rapin, and to disbelieve the madness of Cardenio, the

I shall now proceed to apply these observations to the work before us; for indeed I have set them down principally to obviate some constructions, which the good-natured of mankind, who are always forward to see their friends' virtues recorded, may put to particular parts. I question not but several of my readers will know the lawyer in the stage-coach the moment they hear his voice. It is likewise odds but the wit and the prude meet with some of their acquaintance, as well as all the rest of my characters. To prevent, therefore, any such malicious ap

describe not men, but manners; not an individual, but a species. Perhaps it will be answered, Are not the characters then taken from life? To which I answer in the affirmative; nay, I believe I might aver, that I have writ little more than I have seen. The lawyer is not only alive, but hath been so these four thousand years; and I hope Gwill indulge his life as many yet to come. He hath not, indeed, confined himself to one

perfidy of Ferdinand, the impertinent curi- | part which is polished by laws, arts, and osity of Anselmo, the weakness of Camilla, sciences; and of that from the time it was the irresolute friendship of Lothario; though first polished to this day; nay, and forwards perhaps, as to the time and place where as long as it shall so remain. those several persons lived, that good historian may be deplorably deficient. But the most known instance of this kind is in the true history of Gil Blas, where the inimitable biographer hath made a notorious blunder in the country of Dr. Sangrado, who used his patients as a vintner does his wine-vessels, by letting out their blood, and filling them up with water. Doth not every one, who is the least versed in physical history, know that Spain was not the country in which this doctor lived? The same writer hath likewise erred in the country of his archbishop, as well as that of those great per-plications, I declare here, once for all, I sonages whose understandings were too sublime to taste any thing but tragedy, and in many others. The same mistakes may likewise be observed in Scarron, the Arabian Nights, the History of Marianne and le Paison Parvenu, and perhaps some few other writers of this class, whom I have not read, or do not at present recollect; for I would by no means be thought to comprehend those persons of surprising genius, the authors of immense romances, or the mod-profession, one religion, or one country; but ern novel and Atalantis writers; who, without any assistance from nature or history, record persons who never were, or will be, and facts which never did, nor possibly can, happen; whose heroes are of their own creation, and their brains the chaos whence all the materials are selected. Not that such writers deserve no honour; so far otherwise, that perhaps they merit the highest: for what can be nobler than to be as an example of the wonderful extent of human genius? One may apply to them what Balzac says of Aristotle, that they are a second nature, (for they have no communication with the first; by which authors of an inferior class, who cannot stand alone, are obliged to support themselves, as with erutches;) but these of whom I am now speaking seem to be possessed of those stilts, Which the excellent Voltaire tells us, in his Letters, "carry the genius far off, but with an irregular pace." Indeed, far out of the sight of the reader.

when the first mean selfish creature appeared on the human stage, who made self the centre of the whole creation, would give himself no pain, incur no danger, advance no money, to assist or preserve his fellow-creatures; then was our lawyer born; and whilst such a person as I have described, exists on earth, so long shall he remain upon it. It is therefore doing him little honour, to imagine he endeavours to mimic some little obscure fellow, because he happens to resemble him in one particular feature, or perhaps in his profession; whereas his appearance in the world is calculated for much more general and noble purposes; not to expose one pitiful wretch to the small and contemptible circle of his acquaintance; but to hold the glass to thousands in their closets, that they may contemplate their deformity, and endeavour to reduce it, and thus by suffering private mortification, may avoid public shame. This places the boundary between, and distinguishes, the satirist from the libeller: for the former privately corrects the fault for the benefit of the person, like a parent; the latter publicly exposes the person himself, as an example to others, like an executioner.

Beyond the realms of Chaos and old Night. But to return to the former class, who are contented to copy nature, instead of forming originals from the confused heap of matter in their own brains; is not such There are, besides, little circumstances to a book as that which records the achieve- be considered; as the drapery of a picture, ments of the renowned Don Quixote, more which, though fashion varies at different worthy the name of a history that even times, the resemblance of the countenance Mariana's: for whereas the latter is con- is not by those means diminished. Thus I fined to a particular period of time, and to believe we may venture to say Mrs. Towa particular nation; the former is the his-wouse is coeval with our lawyer: and tory of the world in general. at least, that though, perhaps, during the changes which

And now, reader, taking these hints along with you, you may, if you please, proceed to the sequel of this our true history.

so long an existence must have passed to their nature and a disgrace to their forthrough, she may in her turn have stood tune. behind the bar at an inn; I will not scruple to affirm, she hath likewise in the revolution of ages sat on a throne. In short, where extreme turbulency of temper, avarice, and an insensibility of human misery, with a degree of hypocrisy, have united in a female composition, Mrs. Towwouse was that

CHAPTER II.

woman; and where a good inclination, A night scene, wherein several wonderful adven

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tures befel Adams and his fellow-travellers.

It was so late when our travellers left the

Darkness had now overspread the hemisphere, when Fanny whispered Joseph, that she begged to rest herself a little; for that she was so tired she could walk no farther.' Joseph immediately prevailed with Parson Adams, who was as brisk as a bee, to stop. He had no sooner seated himself, than he lamented the loss of his dear Eschylus; but was a little comforted, when reminded, that, if he had it in his possession, he could not see to read.

eclipsed by a poverty of spirit and understanding, hath glimmered forth in a man, that man hath been no other than her sneak-inn or alehouse, (for it might be called either,) ing husband. that they had not travelled many miles, I shall detain my reader no longer than before night overtook them, or met them, to give him one caution more, of an oppo- | which you please. The reader must excuse | site kind for as, in most of our particular me, if I am not particular as to the way they characters, we mean not to lash individuals, took; for, as we are now drawing near the but all of the like sort; so, in our general seat of the Boobies, and as that is a ticklish descriptions, we mean not universals, but name, which malicious persons may apply, would be understood with many exceptions: according to their evil inclinations, to sevefor instance, in our description of high peo- ral worthy country squires, a race of men ple, we cannot be intended to include such whom we look upon as entirely inoffensive, as, whilst they are an honour to their high and for whom we have an adequate regard, rank, by a well-guided condescension, make we shall lend no assistance to any such matheir superiority as easy as possible to those licious purposes. whom fortune chiefly hath placed below them. Of this number, I could name a peer, no less elevated by nature than by fortune; who, whilst he wears the noblest ensigns of honour on his person, bears the truest stamp of dignity on his mind, adorned with greatness, enriched with knowledge, and embellished with genius. I have seen this man relieve with generosity, while he hath conversed with freedom, and be to the same person a patron and a companion. I could name a commoner, raised higher above the multitude, by superior talents, than is in the power of his prince to exalt him; whose behaviour to those he hath obliged is more amiable than the obligation itself; and who is so great a master of affability, that, if he could divest himself of an inherent greatness in his manner, would often make the lowest of his acquaintance forget who was the master of that palace in which they are so courteously entertained. These are pictures which must be, I believe, known: I declare they are taken from the life, and not intended to exceed it. By those high people, therefore, whom I have described, I mean a set of wretches, who, while they are a disgrace to their ancestors, whose honours and fortunes they inherit, (or, perhaps, a greater to their mother, for such degeneracy is scarce credible,) have the insolence to treat those with disregard, who are at least equal to the founders of their own splendour. It is, I fancy, impossible to conceive a spectacle more worthy of our indignation, than that of a fellow, who is not only a blot in the escutcheon of a great family, but a scandal to the human species, maintaining a supercilious behaviour to men, who are an honour

The sky was so clouded, that not a star appeared. It was indeed, according to Milton, darkness visible.' This was a circumstance, however, very favourable to Joseph; for Fanny, not suspicious of being overseen by Adams, gave a loose to her passion which she had never done before, and, reclining her head on his bosom, threw her arm carelessly round him, and suffered him to lay his cheek close to hers. All this infused such happiness into Joseph, that he would not have changed his turf for the finest down in the finest palace in the universe.

Adams sat at some distance from the lovers, and being unwilling to disturb them, applied himself to meditation; in which he had not spent much time, before he discovered a light at some distance, that seemed approaching towards him. He immediately hailed it; but, to his sorrow and surprise, it stopped for a moment, and then disappeared. He then called to Joseph, asking him, if he had not seen the light?" Joseph answered, 'he had.'-' And did you not mark how it vanished?' returned he: though I am not afraid of ghosts, I do not absolutely disbelieve them.'

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