'It doth not become me,' answered Joseph, to dispute any thing, sir, with you, especially a matter of this kind; for to be sure you must be allowed by all the world to be the best teacher of a school in all our county.'-'Yes, that,' says Adams, I believe, is granted me; that I may without much vanity pretend to--nay, I believe I may go to the next county too-but gloriari non est meum.'-' However, sir, as you are pleased to bid me speak,' says Joseph, 'you know my late master, Sir Thomas Booby, was bred at a public school, and he was the finest gentleman in all the neigh

A disputation on schools, held on the road, between Mr. Abraham Adams and Joseph; and a disco-bourhood. And I have often heard him very not unwelcome to them both.

when they were relieved by the generosity of the pedlar. Adams said he was glad to see such an instance of goodness, not so much for the conveniency which it brought them, as for the sake of the doer, whose reward would be great in heaven. He likewise comforted himself with a reflection that he should shortly have an opportunity of returning it him; for the gentleman was within a week to make a journey into Somersetshire, to pass through Adams's parish, and had faithfully promised to call on him; a circumstance which we thought too immaterial to mention before, but which those who have as great an affection for that gentleman as ourselves will rejoice at, as it may give them hopes of seeing him again. Then Joseph made a speech on charity, which the reader, if he is so disposed, may see in the next chapter; for we scorn to betray him into any such reading, without first giving him warning.

and so did your master. Discipline in- | Joseph, that Mr. Wilson had taken this deed! Because one man scourges twenty handsome way of furnishing them with a or thirty boys more in a morning than supply for their journey, on his having reanother, is he therefore a better disciplina-lated the distress which they had been in, rian? I do presume to confer in this point with all who have taught from Chiron's time to this day; and, if I was master of six boys only, I would preserve as good discipline amongst them as the master of the greatest school in the world. I say nothing, young man; remember, I say nothing; but if Sir Thomas himself had been educated nearer home, and under the tuition of somebody-remember, I name nobody-it might have been better for him:-but his father must institute him in the knowledge of the world. Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit. Joseph seeing him run on in this manner, asked pardon many times, assuring him he had no intention to offend. 'I believe you had not, child,' said he, and I am not angry with you: but for maintaining good discipline in a school; for this'-And then he ran on as before, named all the masters who are recorded in old books, and preferred himself to them all. Indeed, if this good man had an enthusiasm, or what the vulgar call a blind side, it was this: he thought a schoolmaster the greatest character in the world, and himself the greatest of all schoolmasters; neither of which points he would have given up to Alexander the Great at the head of his army.

Adams continued his subject till they came to one of the beautifulest spots of ground in the universe. It was a kind of natural amphitheatre, formed by the winding of a small rivulet, which was planted with thick woods; and the trees rose gradually above each other by the natural ascent of the ground they stood on; which ascent as they hid with their boughs, they seemed to have been disposed by the design of the most skilful planter. The soil was spread with a verdure which no paint could imitate; and the whole place might have raised romantic ideas in elder minds than those of Joseph and Fanny, without the assistance of love.

Here they arrived about noon, and Joseph proposed to Adams that they should rest awhile in this delightful place, and refresh themselves with some provisions which the good-nature of Mrs. Wilson had provided them with. Adams made no objection to the proposal; so down they sat, and pilling out a cold fowl and a bottle of wine, they made a repast, with a cheerfulness which might have attracted the envy of more splendid tables. I should not omit, that they found among their provision a little paper, containing a piece of gold, which Adams imagining had been put there by mistake, would have returned back to restore it; but he was at last convinced by

CHAPTER VI.

Moral reflections by Joseph Andrews; with the hunting adventure, and Parson Adams's miraculous escape.

'I HAVE often wondered, sir,' said Joseph, 'to observe so few instances of charity among mankind; for though the goodness of a man's heart did not incline him to relieve the distresses of his fellow-creatures, methinks the desire of honour should move him to it. What inspires a man to build fine houses, to purchase fine furniture, pictures, clothes, and other things, at a great expense, but an ambition to be respected more than other people? Now, would not one great act of charity, one instance of redeeming a poor family from all the miseries of poverty, restoring an unfortunate tradesman, by a sum of money, to the means of procuring a livelihood by his industry, discharging an undone debtor from his debts or a jail, or any such like example of goodness, create a man more honour and respect than he could acquire by the finest house, furniture, pictures, or clothes, that were ever beheld? For not only the object himself, who was thus relieved, but all who heard the name of such a person, must, I imagine, reverence him infinitely more than the possessor of all those other things, which, when we so admire, we rather praise the builder, the workman, the painter, the lacemaker, the tailor, and the rest, by whose ingenuity they are produced, than the person who, by his money, makes them his own. For my own part, when I have waited be

of the preceding narrative; and indeed, if the reader considers that so many hours had passed since he had closed his eyes, he will not wonder at his repose, though even Henley himself, or as great an orator, (if any such be,) had been in his rostrum or tub before him.

hind my lady, in a room hung with fine pic-offered themselves to exert his curiosity and tures, while I have been looking at them, I observation. The truth is, he was fast have never once thought of their owner, asleep, and had so been from the beginning nor hath any one else, as I ever observed; for when it has been asked whose picture that was, it was never once answered, the master's of the house; but Ammyconni, Paul Varnish, Hannibal Scratchi, or Hogarthi, which I suppose were the names of the painters; but if it was asked, Who redeemed such a one out of prison? Who lent such a ruined tradesman money to set up? Who clothed that family of poor small children? It is very plain what must be the answer. And besides, these great folks are mistaken, if they imagine they get any honour at all by these means; for I do not remember I ever was with my lady at any house, where she commended the house or furniture, but I have heard her, at her return home, make sport and jeer at whatever she had before commended; and I have been told, by other gentlemen in livery, that it is the same in their families; but I defy the wisest man in the world to turn a true good action into ridicule. I defy him to do it. He who should endeavour it, would be laughed at himself, instead of making others laugh.

Joseph, who whilst he was speaking had continued in one attitude, with his head reclining on one side, and his eyes cast on the ground, no sooner perceived, on looking up, the position of Adams, who was stretched on his back, and snored louder than the usual braying of the animal with long ears, than he turned towards Fanny, and taking her by the hand, began a dalliance, which though consistent with the purest innocence and decency, neither he would have attempted nor she permitted before any witness. Whilst they amused themselves in this harmless and delightful manner, they heard a pack of hounds approaching in full cry towards them, and presently afterwards saw a hare pop forth from the wood, and crossing the water, land within a few yards of them in the meadows. The hare was Nobody scarce doth any good, yet they no sooner on shore, than it seated itself on all agree in praising those who do. Indeed, its hinder legs and listened to the sound of it is strange that all men should consent in the pursuers. Fanny was wonderfully pleascommending goodness, and no man endea-ed with the little wretch, and eagerly longvour to deserve that commendation; whilst on the contrary, all rail at wickedness, and all are as eager to be what they abuse. This I know not the reason of; but it is as plain as daylight to those who converse in the world, as I have done these three years.' Are all the great folks wicked, then?' says Fanny. To be sure there are some exceptions,' answered Joseph. Some gentlemen of our cloth report charitable actions done by their lords and masters; and I have heard squire Pope, the great poet, at my lady's table, tell stories of a man that lived at a place called Ross, and another at the Bath, one Al-Al- I forget his name, but it is in the book of verses. This gentleman hath built up a stately house too, which the squire likes very well; but his charity is seen farther than his house, though it stands on a hill,-ay, and brings him more honour too. It was his charity that put him in the book, where the squire says he puts all those who deserve it; and to be sure, as he lives among all the great people, if there were any such, he would know them.'-This was all of Mr. Joseph Andrews's speech, which I could get him to recollect, which I have delivered as near as was possible in his own words, with a very small embellishment. But I believe the reader hath not been a little surprised at the long silence of Parson Adams, especially as so many occasions

ed to have it in her arms, that she might preserve it from the dangers which seemed to threaten it; but the rational part of the creation do not always aptly distinguish their friends from their foes; what wonder then if this silly creature, the moment it beheld her, fled from the friend who would have protected it, and traversing the meadows again, passed the little rivulet on the opposite side. It was, however, so spent and weak, that it fell down twice or thrice in its way.

This affected the tender heart of Fanny, who exclaimed, with tears in her eyes, against the barbarity of worrying a poor innocent defenceless animal out of its life, and putting it to the extremest torture for diversion. She had not much time to make reflections of this kind; for on a sudden the hounds rushed through the wood, which resounded with their throats and the throats of their retinue, who attended on them on horseback. The dogs now passed the rivulet, and pursued the footsteps of the hare; five horsemen attempted to leap over, three of whom succeeded, and two were in the attempt thrown from their saddles into the water; their companions, and their own horses too, proceeded after their sport, and left their friends and riders to invoke the assistance of Fortune, or employ the more active means of strength and agility for

their deliverance. Joseph, however, was | ay, as tigers, have run away, the Lord knows not so unconcerned on this occasion; he how far, and the Lord knows why, to the left Fanny for a moment to herself, and ran surprise of their friends and the entertainto the gentlemen, who were immediately on ment of their enemies. But if persons of their legs, shaking their ears, and easily, such heroic disposition are a little offended with the help of his hand, obtained the at the behaviour of Adams, we assure them bank, (for the rivulet was not at all deep ;) they shall be as much pleased with what we and without staying to thank their kind as- shall immediately relate of Joseph Andrews. sister, ran dripping across the meadow, call-The master of the pack was just arrived, ing to their brother sportsmen to stop their horses; but they heard them not.

or as the sportsmen call it, come in, when Adams set out as we have before mentioned.

This gentleman was generally said to be a great lover of humour; but, not to mince the matter, especially as we are upon this subject, he was a great hunter of men; indeed, he had hitherto followed the sport only with dogs of his own species: for he kept two or three couple of barking curs for that use only. However, as he thought he had now found a man nimble enough, he was willing to indulge himself with other sport, and accordingly crying out, stole away, encouraged the hounds to pursue Mr. Adams, swearing it was the largest jack-hare he ever saw; at the same time hallooing and whooping as if a conquered foe was flying before him; in which he was imitated by those two or three couple of human or rather two-legged curs on horseback which we have mentioned before.

Now thou, whoever thou art, whether a muse, or by what other name soever thou choosest to be called, who presidest over biography, and hast inspired all the writers of lives in these our times: thou who didst infuse such wonderful humour into the pen of immortal Gulliver; who hast carefully

The hounds were now very little behind their poor reeling, staggering prey, which, fainting almost at every step, crawled through the wood, and had almost got round to the place where Fanny stood, when it was overtaken by its enemies, and, being driven out of the covert, was caught, and instantly tore to pieces before Fanny's face, who was unable to assist it with any aid more powerful than pity; nor could she prevail on Joseph, who had been himself a sportsman in his youth, to attempt any thing contrary to the laws of hunting in favour of the hare, which he said was killed fairly. The hare was caught within a yard or two of Adams, who lay asleep at some distance from the lovers; and the hounds in devouring it, and pulling it backwards and forwards, had drawn it so close to him, that some of them, (by mistake perhaps for the hare's skin,) laid hold of the skirts of his cassock; others at the same time applying their teeth to his wig, which he had with a handkerchief fastened to his head, began to pull him about; and had not the motion of his body had more effect on him than seemed to be wrought by the noise, they must cer-guided the judgment, whilst thou hast extainly have tasted his flesh, which delicious flavour might have been fatal to him; but being roused by these tuggings, he instantly awaked, and with a jerk delivering his head from his wig, he with most admirable dexterity recovered his legs, which now seemed the only members he could intrust his safety to. Having, therefore, escaped likewise from at least a third part of his cassock, which he willingly left as his exuvia or spoils to the enemy, he fled with the utmost speed he could summon to his assistance. Nor let this be any detraction from the bravery of his character: let the number of the enemies, and the surprise in which he was taken, be considered; and if there be any No sooner did Joseph Andrews perceive modern so outrageously brave that he can- the distress of his friend, when first the not admit of flight in any circumstance quick-scenting dogs attacked him, than he whatever, I say, (but I whisper that softly, grasped his cudgel in his right hand; a and I solemnly declare without any inten- cudgel which his father had of his grandtion of giving offence to any brave man in father, to whom a mighty strong man of the nation,) I say, or rather I whisper, that Kent had given it for a present in that day he is an ignorant fellow, and hath never when he broke three heads on the stage. It read Homer, nor Virgil, nor knows he any was a cudgel of mighty strength and wonthing of Hector or Turnus: nay, he is un-derful art, made by one of Mr. Deard's acquainted with the history of some great best workmen, whom no other artificer can men living, who, though as brave as lions, equal, and who hath made all those sticks

alted the nervous manly style of thy Mallet: thou who hadst no hand in that dedication and preface, or the translations, which thou wouldst willingly have struck out of the life of Cicero: lastly, thou, who, without the assistance of the least spice of literature, and even against his inclination, hast, in some pages of his book, forced Colley Cibber to write English; do thou assist me in what I find myself unequal to. Do thou introduce on the plain, the young, the gay, the brave Joseph Andrews, whilst men shall view him with admiration and envy, tender virgins with love and anxious concern for his safety.

N

and Blunder, were the next victims of his wrath, and measured their lengths on the ground. Then Fairmaid, a bitch which Mr. John Temple had bred up in his house, and fed at his own table, and lately sent the squire fifty miles for a present; ran fiercely at Joseph and bit him by the leg: no dog was ever fiercer than she, being descended from an Amazonian breed, and had worried

which the beaus have lately walked with who, whenever he opened, knew the game about the Park in a morning; but this was was at hand. He fell by the stroke of Jofar his masterpiece. On its head was en-seph. Thunder and Plunder, and Wonder graved a nose and chin, which might have been mistaken for a pair of nutcrackers. 'The learned have imagined it designed to represent the Gorgon; but it was in fact copied from the face of a certain long English baronet, of infinite wit, humour, and gravity. He did intend to have engraved here many histories; as the first night of Captain B-'s play, where you would have seen critics in embroidery trans-bulls in her own country, but now waged planted from the boxes to the pit, whose ancient inhabitants were exalted to the galleries, where they played on catcalls. He did intend to have painted an auction-room, where Mr. Cock would have appeared aloft in his pulpit, trumpeting forth the praises of a china basin, and with as- The parson now faced about, and with tonishment wondering that, Nobody bids his crabstick felled many to the earth, and more for that fine, that superb'-He did in-scattered others, till he was attacked by tend to have engraved many other things, but was forced to leave all out for want of

room.

an unequal fight, and had shared the fate of those we have mentioned before, had not Diana, (the reader may believe or not if he pleases,) in that instant interposed, and, in the shape of the huntsman, snatched her favourite up in her arms.

Cæsar and pulled to the ground. Then Joseph flew to his rescue, and with such might fell on the victor, that, O eternal blot to his name! Cæsar ran yelping away.

The battle now raged with the most dreadful violence, when, lo! the huntsman, a man of years and dignity, lifted his voice, and called his hounds from the fight; telling them, in a language they understood, that it was in vain to contend longer, for that fate had decreed the victory to their enemies.

Thus far the muse hath with her usual dignity related this prodigious battle, a battle, we apprehend, never equalled by any poet, romance or life-writer whatever, and, having brought it to a conclusion, she ceased; we shall therefore proceed in our ordinary style, with the continuation of this history. The squire and his companions, whom the figure of Adams and the gal

No sooner had Joseph grasped his cudgel in his hands, than lightning darted from his eyes; and the heroic youth, swift of foot, ran with the utmost speed to his friend's assistance. He overtook him just as Rockwood had laid hold of the skirts of his cassock, which being torn, hung to the ground. Reader, we would make a simile on this occasion, but for two reasons: the first is, it would interrupt the description, which should be rapid in this part; but that doth not weigh much, many precedents occurring for such an interruption: the second, and much the greater reason is, that we could find no simile adequate to our purpose; for indeed, what instance could we bring, to set before our reader's eyes at once the idea of friendship, courage, youth, beauty, strength, and swiftness? all which blazed in the per-lantry of Joseph had at first thrown into a son of Joseph Andrews. Let those therefore that describe lions, and tigers, and heroes fiercer than both, raise their poems or plays with the simile of Joseph Andrews, who is himself above the reach of any simile. Now Rockwood had laid fast hold on the parson's skirts, and stopped his flight; which Joseph no sooner perceived, than he levelled his cudgel at his head and laid him sprawling. Jowler and Ringwood then fell on his great coat, and had undoubtedly brought him to the ground, had not Joseph, collecting all his force, given Jowler such a rap on the back, that, quitting his hold, he ran howling over the plain. A harder fate remained for thee, O Ringwood! Ringwood, the best hound that ever pursued a hare, who never threw his tongue but where the scent was undoubtedly true; good at trailing, and sure in a highway; no babbler, no over-runner; respected by the whole pack,

violent fit of laughter, and who had hitherto beheld the engagement with more delight than any chase, shooting-match, race, cockfighting, bull or bear-baiting, had ever given them, began now to apprehend the danger of their hounds, many of which lay sprawling in the fields. The squire, therefore, having first called his friends about him, as guards for his safety of person, rode manfully up to the combatants, and summoning all the terror he was master of into his countenance, demanded with an authoritative voice of Joseph, What he meant by assaulting his dogs in that manner? Joseph answered with great intrepidity, That they had first fallen on his friend; and if they had belonged to the greatest man in the kingdom, he would have treated them in the same way; for whilst his veins contained a single drop of blood, he would not stand idle by and see that gentleman, (point