Daughter Julia, Macenas took the Liberty to tell him, That he must either marry his Daughter to Agrippa or take away his life; there was no third way, he had made him fo great. With Tiberius Cafar, Sejanus had afcended to that Height as they Two were termed and reckoned as a Pair of Friends. Tiberius, in a Letter to him, faith, Hac pro Amicitiâ noftrâ non occultavi :6 and the whole Senate dedicated an Altar to Friendship, as to a Goddess, in refpect of the great Dearness of FriendShip between them Two. The like or more was between Septimius Severus and Plautianus; for he forced his eldest Son to marry the Daughter of Plautianus, and would often maintain Plautianus in doing Affronts to his Son: and did write also in a Letter to the Senate, by these Words: I love the Man fo well, as I wish he may over-live me." Now, if thefe Princes had been as a Trajan, or a Marcus Aurelius, a Man might have thought that this had proceeded of an abundant Goodness of Nature; but being Men fo Wise, of fuch Strength and Severity of Mind, and fo extreme Lovers of themselves, as all these were, it proveth most plainly, that they found their own Felicity (though as great as ever happened to mortal Men) but as an Half Piece, except they might have a Friend to make it entire; and yet, which is more, they were Princes that had Wives, Sons, Nephews; and yet all these could not fupply the Comfort of Friendship. 6 Tacit. Ann. iv. 40. 7 This was L. Fulvius Plautianus and not Plantinianus, as Mr. Montagu prints it after the old copy. See Dio. Caffius, lxxv. 14. It is not to be forgotten what Commineus observeth of his firft Mafter Duke Charles the Hardy, namely that he would communicate his Secrets with none; and leaft of all thofe Secrets which troubled him moft. Whereupon he goeth on, and faith, that towards his latter time, That Clofenefs did impair and a little perish his UnderStanding. Surely Commineus might have made the fame Judgement also, if it had pleased him, of his fecond Mafter Louis the Eleventh, whofe Clofenefs was indeed his Tormentor. The Parable of Pythagoras is dark, but true; Cor ne edito-Eat not the Heart Certainly if a Man would give it a hard Phrase, those that want Friends to open themfelves unto are Cannibals of their own Hearts: but one Thing is most admirable (wherewith I will conclude this first Fruit of Friendship), which is, that this communicating of a Man's felf to his Friend works two contrary Effects; for it redoubleth Joys, and cutteth Griefs in Halves. For there is no Man that imparteth his Joys to his Friend, but he joyeth the more; and no Man, that imparteth his Griefs to his Friend, but he grieveth the lefs. So that it is, in Truth of Operation upon a Man's Mind of like virtue as the Alchymifts use to attribute to their Stone for Man's Body; that it worketh all contrary Effects, but ftill to the Good and Benefit of Nature. But yet, without Praying in Aid1o of Alchymifts, there is a manifest Philip de Commines, Liv. i. c. 4. 9 Plut. de Educat. Puer. 17. Diog. Laert. viii. 17, 18. 10 Praying in Aid is a forenfic term in pleading, for petitioning the court to call in help from another person who is interested in the thing contested. Image of this in the ordinary course of Nature. For in Bodies, Union strengtheneth and cherisheth any natural Action; and, on the other fide, weakeneth and dulleth any violent Impreffion; and even fo is it of Minds. The fecond Fruit of Friendship is healthful and fovereign for the Understanding, as the firft is for the Affections. For Friendship maketh indeed a fair Day in the Affections from Storm and Tempests; but it maketh Day-light in the Understanding, out of Darkness and Confufion of Thoughts. Neither is this to be understood only of Faithful Counsel, which a Man receiveth from his Friend; but before you come to that, certain it is, that whofoever hath his Mind fraught with many Thoughts, his Wits and Understanding do clarify and break up, in the communicating and difcourfing with Another he toffeth his Thoughts more easily; he marshalleth them more orderly; he feeth how they look when they are turned into Words; finally, he waxeth wiser than himself, and that more by an hour's Discourse than by a Day's Meditation. It was well faid by Themistocles to the King of Perfia, That fpeech was like Cloth of Arras, opened and put abroad; whereby the Imagery doth appear in Figure, whereas in Thoughts they lie but as in Packs.11 Neither is this fecond Fruit of Friendship, in opening the Understanding, reftrained only to fuch Friends as are able to give a : 11 Plut. Vit. Themift. 28. The anachronism of Cloth of Arras Bacon fhares with Sir Thomas North, who translated from Amyot. In the Latin tranflation of the Effays it is tapetibus, properly tapetry. The faying is repeated, Apophthegms, 99. Man Counsel (they indeed are beft): but even without that a Man learneth of himself, and bringeth his own Thoughts to Light, and whetteth his Wits as against a Stone, which itself cuts not. In a word, a Man were better relate himself to a Statua or Picture, than to fuffer his Thoughts to pass in fmother. Add now, to make this second Fruit of FriendShip complete, that other Point which lieth more open, and falleth within vulgar Obfervation; which is Faithful Counsel from a Friend. Heraclitus faith well in one of his Enigmas, Dry Light is ever the best.12 And certain it is, that the Light that a man receiveth by Counsel from another, is drier and purer than that which cometh from his own Understanding and Judgement; which is ever infused and drenched in his Affections and Cuftoms. So as, there is as much difference between the Counsel that a Friend giveth, and that a Man giveth himself, as there is between the Counsel of a Friend and of a Flatterer: for there is no fuch Flatterer as is a Man's Self, and there is no fuch Remedy against Flattery of a Man's Self as the Liberty of a Friend. Counfel is of two forts; the one concerning Manners, the other concerning Bufinefs. For the First; the best Preservative to keep the Mind in Health is the faithful Admonition of a Friend. The calling of a Man's Self to a ftrict Account is a Medicine fometime too 12 Stobaeus 'Avoloy, v. 120, p. 160, Ed. Schow, aun tuxn oopwrárn kaì ápiorn. See Apophthegms, 268. Adv. of L. i. 3. Wisdom of the Antients, 27. piercing and corrofive; reading good Books of Morality is a little flat and dead. Observing our Faults in others is fometimes improper for our cafe; but the best Receipt (best I say, to work and beft to take) is the Admonition of a Friend. It is a strange thing to behold what grofs Errors and extreme Abfurdities many (especially of the greater Sort) do commit for want of a Friend to tell them of them; to the great damage both of their Fame and Fortune. For as S. James faith, They are as Men that look fometimes into a Glass and prefently forget their own Shape and Favour.14 As for Business, a Man may think, if he will, that two Eyes fee no more than one; or, that a Gamester feeth always more than a Looker on; or, that a Man in Anger, is as Wife as he that hath faid over the four and twenty Letters; or, that a Mufket may be shot off as well upon the Arm as upon a Reft; and fuch other fond and high Imaginations, to think himself all in all. But when all is done, the Help of good Counsel, is that which setteth Business straight; and if any Man think that he will take Counsel, but it fhall be by pieces; afking Counsel in one Business of one man, and in another Business of another man; it is well (that is to fay, better perhaps than if he asked none at all,) but he runneth two dangers: one, that he shall not be faithfully counfelled; for it is a rare Thing, except it be from a perfect and entire Friend, to have Counsel given, but such as shall 13 Mr. Montagu omits the words are as men that. |