A Franklin. IS outside is an ancient yeoman of England, though his inside may give armes (with the best gentlemen) and ne're see the herauld. There is no truer servant in the house then himselfe. Though he be master, he sayes not to his servants, Goe to field, but, Let us goe; and with his owne eye, doth both fatten his flock, and set forward all manner of husbandrie. Hee is taught by nature to bee contented with a little; his own fold yeelds him both food and rayment: hee is pleas'd with any nourishment God sends, whilst curious gluttony ransackes, as it were, Noahs Arke for food, onely to feed the riot of one meale. He is nere knowne to goe to, law; understanding, to bee lawbound among men, is like to bee hide-bound among his beasts; they thrive not under it: and that such men sleepe as unquietly, as if their pillowes were stuft with lawyers pen-knives. When he builds, no poore tenants cottage hinders his prospect: they are indeed his almes-houses, though there be painted on them no such superscription: he never sits up late, but when he hunts the badger, the vow'd foe of his lambs: nor uses hee any cruelty, but when hee hunts the hare, nor subtilty, but when he setteth snares for the suite, or pit-falls for the black-bird; nor K The University of Iowa Libraries oppression, but when in the moneth of July, he goes to the next river, and sheares his sheepe. He allowes of honest pastime, and thinkes not the bones of the dead any thing bruised, or the worse for it, though the country lasses dance in the church-yard after evensong. Rocke Munday, and the wake in summer, shrovings, the wakefull ketches on Christmas Eve, the hoky, or seed cake, these he yeerely keepes, yet holds them no reliques of popery. He is not so inquisitive after newes derived from the privie closet, when the finding an eiery of hawkes in his owne ground, or the foaling of a colt come of a good straine, are tydings more pleasant, more profitable. Hee is lord paramount within himselfe, though hee hold by never so meane a tenure; and dyes the more contentedly (though he leave his heire young) in regard he leaves him not liable to a covetous guardian. Lastly, to end him; hee cares not when his end comes, hee needs not feare his audit, for his quietus is in heaven. A Rymer S a fellow whose face is hatcht all over with impudence, and should hee bee hang'd or pilloried, tis armed for it. Hee is a juggler with words, yet practises the art of most uncleanely conveyance. He doth boggle very often; and because himselfe winks at it, thinks tis : not perceived the maine thing that ever he did, was the tune hee sang to. There is nothing in the earth so pittifull, no not an ape-carrier, hee is not worth thinking of, and therefore I must leave him as nature left him; a dunghill not well laid together. A Covetous man. HIS man would love honour and adore God, if there were an L more in his name: Hee hath coffind up his soule in his chests before his body; hee could wish he were in Mydas his taking for hunger, on condition he had his chymicall quality. At the grant of a new subsidy he would gladly hang himselfe, were it not for the charge of buying a rope, and begins to take money upon use, when he heares of a privy seale. His morning prayer is to over-looke his baggs, whose every parcell begets his adoration. Then to his studies, which are how to cousen this tenant, begger that widow, or to undoe some orphane. Then his bonds. are viewed, the well knowne dayes of payment con'd by heart; and if he ever pray, it is, some one may breake his day, that the beloved forfeiture may be obtained. His use is doubled, and no one sixpence begot or borne, but presently by an untimely thrift The University of towa Libraries it is getting more. His chimney must not be acquainted with fire, for feare of mischance, but if extremitie of cold pinch him, hee gets him heat with looking on, and sometime removing his aged woodpile, which he meanes to leave to many descents, till it hath out-lived all the woods of that countrey. He never spends candle but at Christmas (when he has them for new-yeeres gifts) in hope that his servants will breake glasses for want of light, which they doubly pay for in their wages. His actions are guilty of more crimes then other mens thoughts, and he conceives no sin which hee dare not act save only lust, from which he abstaines for feare hee should be charged with keeping bastards: once a yeere he feasts, the reliques of which meale shall serve him the next quarter. In his talke hee railes against eating of breake-fasts, drinking betwixt meales, and sweares he is impoverished with paying of tythes. He had rather have the frame of the world fall, then the price of corne. If he chance to travel, he curses his fortune that his place binds him to ride, and his faithfull cloak-bag is sure to take care for his provision. His nights are as troublesome as his daies, every rat awakes him out of his unquiet sleeps. If he have a daughter to marry, he wishes he were in Hungary, or might follow the custom of that country, that all her portion might be a wedding gown. If he fall sicke, he had rather dye a thousand deaths, then pay for any physick: and if he might have his choice, he would not goe to heaven but on condition he may put money to use there. In fine, he lives a drudge, dies a wretch, that leaves a heap of pelfe (which so many carefull hands had scraped together) to haste after him to hell, and by the way it lodges in a lawyers purse. The proud Man S one in whom pride is a quality that condemnes every one besides his master, who when hee weares new clothes, thinks himselfe wrong'd, if they bee not observ'd, imitated, and his discretion in the choice of his fashion and stuffe applauded: when he vouchsafes to blesse the ayre with his presence, hee goes as neere the wall as his sattin suit will give him leave, and every passenger he viewes under the eye-browes, to observe whether he vailes his bonnet low enough, which hee returnes with an imperious nod: he never salutes first, but his farewell is perpetuall. In his attire he is effeminate, every haire knowes his owne station; which if it chance to loose, it is checkt in againe with his pocket combe. He had rather have the whole commonwealth out of order, then the least member of his muchato, and chooses rather to lose |