Shee simpers as if shee had no teeth but lips: and she divides her eyes, and keepes halfe for her selfe, and gives the other to her neat youth. Being set downe, she casts her face into a platforme, which dureth the meale, and is taken away with the voider. Her draught reacheth to good manners, Shee not to thirst, and it is a part of their mystery not to professe hunger; but Nature takes her in private, and stretcheth her upon meat. She is marriageable and foureteene at once; and after she doth not live, but tarry. She reads over her face every morning, and sometimes blots out pale, and writes red. She thinks she is faire, though many times her opinion goes alone, and she loves her glasse, and the Knight of the Sun for lying. is hid away all but her face, and that's hang'd about with toyes and devices, like the signe of a taverne, to draw strangers. If shee shew more, she prevents desire, and by too free giving, leaves no gift. Shee may escape from the serving-man, but not from the chamber-maid. She commits with her eares for certaine: after that she may goe for a maid, but she hath beene lyen with in her understanding. Her philosophy, is a seeming neglect of those, that bee too good for her. She's a younger brother for her portion, but not for her portion for wit, that comes from her in a treble, which is still too big for it; yet her vanity seldome matcheth her, with one of her own degree, for then shee will beget another creature a begger; and commonly, if shee marry better she marries worse. She gets much by the simplicity of her sutor, and for a jest, laughs at him without one. Thus she dresses a husband for her selfe, and after takes him for his patience, and the land adjoyning, ye may see it; in a servingmans fresh napery, and his leg steps into an unknowne stocking. I need not speake of his garters, the tassell shewes it selfe. If she love, she loves not the man, but the beast of him. She is Salomons cruell creature, and a mans walking consumption every caudle she gives him, is a purge. Her chiefe commendation is, she brings a man to repentance. Fer Next Part. ER lightnesse gets her to swim at top of the table, where her wrie little finger bewraies carving; her neighbors at the latter end know they are welcome, and for that purpose she quencheth her thirst. She travels to and among, and so becomes a woman of good entertainment, for all the folly in the country comes in cleane linnen to visit her: she breaks to them her griefe in suger cakes, and receives from their mouths in exchange, many stories that conclude to no purpose. Her eldest son is like her howsoever, and that dispraiseth him best: her utmost drift is to turne him foole, which commonly she obtaines at the yeares of discretion. She takes a journey sometimes to her neeces house, but never thinkes beyond London. Her devotion is good clothes, they carry her to church, expresse their stuffe and fashion, and are silent; if shee bee more devout, shee lifts up a certain number of eyes, in stead of prayers, and takes the sermon, and measures out a nap by it, just as long. She sends religion afore to sixty, where she never overtakes it, or drives it before her againe her most necessary instruments are a waiting gentle-woman, and a chamber-maid; she weares her gentle-woman still, but most often leaves the other in her chamber window. She hath a little kennel in her lap, and she smels the sweeter for it. The utmost reach of her providence, is the fatnesse of a capon, and her greatest envy, is the next gentlewomans better gown. Her most commendable skill, is to make her husbands fustian beare her velvet. This she doth many times over, and then is delivered to old age, and a chaire, where every body leaves her. A Dissembler S an essence needing a double definition, for he is not that he appeares. Unto the eye he is pleasing, unto the eare not harsh, but unto the understanding intricate, and full of windings: he is the prima materia, and his intents give him forme: he dyeth his meanes and meaning into two colors, he baits craft with humility, and his countenance is the picture of the present disposition. He wins not by battery, but undermining, and his racke is smoothing. He allures, is not allur'd by his affections, for they are the brokers of his observation. He knowes passion only by sufferance, and resisteth by obeying. makes his time an accomptant to his memory, and of the humours of men weaves a net for occasion: the inquisitor must looke thorow his judgement, for to the eye only he is not visible. A Courtier He O all mens thinking is a man, and to most men the finest : all things else are defined by the understanding, but this by the senses; but his surest marke is, that he is to be found only about princes. He smels; and putteth } away much of his judgement about the situation of his clothes. Hee knowes no man that is not generally knowne. His wit, like the marigold, openeth with the sun, and therfore he riseth not before ten of the clock. He puts more confidence in his words than meaning, and more in his pronunciation than his words. Occasion is his Cupid, and he hath but -one receit of making love. He followes nothing but inconstancie, admires nothing but beauty, honors nothing but fortune. Loves nothing. The sustenance of his discourse is newes, and his censure like a shot depends upon the charging. He is not, if he be out of court, but fish-like breaths destruction, if out of his own element. Neither his motion, or aspect are regular, but he mooves by the upper spheares, and is the reflection of higher substances. If you find him not here, you shall in Pauls, with a picke tooth in his hat, a capecloak, and a long stocking. A Golden Asse Sa young thing, whose father went to the divell; he is followed like a salt bitch, and limb'd by him that gets up first; his disposition is cut, and knaves rent him like tenter-hooks; hee is as blind as his mother, and F |