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therefore their staves are carved and tipped: they trust their attire with much of their gravity; and they dare not goe without a gowne in summer. Their hats are brushed, to draw mens eyes off from their faces; but of all, their pomanders are worne to most purpose, for their putrified breath ought not to want either a smell to defend, or a dog to excuse.
1 Country Gentleman
S a thing, out of whose corruption the
generation of a justice of peace is proi duced.
duced. He speakes statutes and husbandry well enough, to make his neighbors thinke him a wise inan; he is well skilleil in arithmetick or rates : and hath eloquence enough to save his twopence. His conversation amongst his tenants is desperate; but amongst his equals full of doubt. His travellis seldome farther then the next market towne, and his inquisition is about the price of corne :'when he travelleth, he will goe ten mile out of the way to a cousing house of his to save charges; and rewards the servants by taking them by the hand when hec departs. Nothing under a sub pana can draw him to London: and when he is there, he sticks fast upon every object, casts his eyes away upon gazing, and becomes the prey of every cutpurse. When he comes home, those wonders serve him for his holy-day
talke. If he goe to Court, it is in yellow stockings; and if it be in winter, in a slight tafety cloake, and pumps and pantofles. He is chained that wooes the usher for his comming into the presence, where he becomes troublesome with the ill managing of his rapier, and the wearing of his girdle of one fashion, and the hangers of another. By this time he hath learned to kissc his hand, and make a legge both together, and the names of Lords and Councellors; hee hath thus much toward entertainment and courtesie, but of the last he makes more use; for by the recitall of my Lord, he conjures his poore countrimen. But this is not his element, he must home againc, being like a Dor, that ends his flight in a dunghill.
A fine Gentleman
S the Cynamon tree, whose bark is more
worth then his body. He hath read the
Booke of good manners, and by this time each of his limbs may read it. He alloweth of no judge, but the eye; painting, boulstering, and bombasting are his orators : by these also he proves his industry : for hee hath purchased legs, haire, beanty, and straightnesse, more than nature left him. IIe unlockes inaillen-hcads with his language, and speaks Euphus, not so gracefully as heartily. His discourse
makes not his behaviour, but hee buyes it at Court, as countreymen their clothes in Birchin-lane. He is somewhat like the Salamander, and lives in the Hame of love, which paines he expresseth comically: and nothing grieves him so much, as the want of a poet to make an issue in his love; yet he sighes sweetly, and speakes lamentably: for his breath is perfuned, and his words are wind. He is best in season at Christmas; for the boares head and reveller come together; his hopes are laden in his quality : and lest fidlers should take him unprovided, hee weares pumps in his pocket : and lest he should take fidlers unprovided, he whistles his owne galliard. He is a calender of ten yeares, and mariage rusts him. Afterwards he maintaines himselfe an implement of houshold, by carving and ushering. For all this, he is judiciall only in taylors and barbers, but his opinion is ever ready, and ever idle. If you will know more of his acts, the brokers shop is the witnesse of his valour, where lyes wounded, dead, rent, and out of fashion, many a spruce sute, overthrown by his fantasticknesse.
An Elder Brother
S a creature borne to the best advantage
of things without him ; that hath the
start at the beginning, but loiters it away before the ending. He lookes like his land, as heavily and durtily, as stubbornly. He dares do any thing but fight; and feares nothing but his fathers life, and minority. The first thing he makes known, is his estate ; and the load-stone that drawes him is the upper end of the table. He wooeth by a particular, and his strongest argument is the jointure. His observation is all about the fashion, and hee commends partlets for a rare device. He spcakes no language, but smels of dogs, or hawks-; and his ambition flics justice-height. He loves to be commended; and he will goe into the kitchin, but heele have it. He loves glorie ; but is so lazy, as he is content with flattery. He speakes most of the precedency of age, and protests fortune the greatest vertue. He summoneth the old servants, and tels what strange acts he will doc when he raignes. He verily beleeves house-keepers the best commonwealths men; and therefore studies baking, brewing, , greasing, and such as the libes of goodnesse. He judgeth it no small signe of wisdome to talk much; his tongue therefore goes continually his errand, but never speeds. If his understanding were not honester then his will, no man shoukl kcepe gooil conceit by him ; for hee thinkes it no theft, to sell all he can to opinion. IIis pedegree and his fathers scale-ring, are the stilts of his crazel disposition. He had rather keepe company with the dreys of men, then not to be the best man. His insinuation is the inviting of men to his house; and he thinks it a great modesty to comprehend his cheere under a peece of mutton and a rabbet; if he by this time bee not knownc, he will goe home againe : for he can no more abide to have himselfe concealed, then his land; yet he is (as you see) good for nothing, except to make a stallion to maintaine the race.
A Braggadochio Welshman
S the oyster that the pearle is in, for a
man may be pickt out of him. He hath
the abilities of the mind in potentia, and actu nothing but boldnessc. His clothes are in fashion before his body : and hec accounts bollnesse the chiefest vertue; above all men hee loves an herrald, and speaks pedegrees naturally. He accounts none well descenderl, that call him not cousin; and preferres Owen Glenlover before any of the nine worthies. The first note of his familiarity is the