« AnteriorContinuar »
confession of his valour ; and so he prevents quarels. He voucheth Welch, a pure and unconquered language, and courts ladies with the story of their chronicle. To conclude, he is precious in his owne conceit, and upon S. Davies day without comparison.
EE trcades in a rule, and one hand scannes verses, and the other holds his scepter.
Hee dares not thinke a thought, that the nominative case governs not the verbe ; and he never had meaning in his life, for he travelled only for words. His ambition is criticisme, and his example Tully. Hee values phrases, and elects them by the sound, and the eight parts of speech are his servants. To bee briefe, he is a heteroclite, for hee wants the plurall number, having onely the single quality of words.
S a creature, which though he be not drunk, yet is not his owne mun.
He tels without asking who ownes him, by the superscription of his livery. His life is for ease and leasure, much about gentleman-like. His wealth
enough to suffice nature, and sufficient to make him happy, if he were sure of it; for he hath little, and wants nothing, he values himselfe higher or lower, as his master is. Hee hates or loves the men, as This master doth the master. He is commonly proud os his masters horses, or his Christmas : hee sleepes when he is sleepy, is of his religion, only the clocke of his stomack is set to go an houre after his. He seldome breakes his own clothes. He never drinks Put double, for he must be pledg'd; nor commonly without some short sentence nothing to the purpose : and sel lome abstaines till he comes to a thirst. His discretion is to bee carefull for his masters credit, and his sufficiency to marshall dishes at a table, and to carve well. His neatnesse consists much in his Thaire and outward linnen. His courting language, visible bawdy jests; and against his matter faile, he is alway ready furnished with a song. His inheritance is the chamber-maid, but often purchaseth his masters daughter, by reason of opportunity, or for want of a better; he alwayes cuckolds himselfe, and never maries but his owne widdow. His master being appeased, he becomes a retainer, and entailes himselfe and his posterity upon his heire-males for
Is the kemell of a signe : or the signe is
the shell, and mine host is the snaile.
He consists of double beere and fellowship, and his vices are the bawds of his thirst. He entertaines humbly, and gives his guests power, as well of himselfe as house. He answers all mens expectations to his power, save in the reckoning : and hath gotten the tricke of greatnesse, to lay all mislikes upon his servants.
His wife is the cummin seed of his dove-house; and to be a good guest is a warrant for her liberty. He traffiques for guests by mens friends, friends friends, and is sensible onely of his purse. In a word, hee is none of his owne: for he neither cats, drinks, or thinks, but at other mens charges and appointments.
Sa thing that scrubbeth unreasonably his
of travellers, though he be none himselfe.
understanding. He hath certaine charmes for a horse mouth, that hee should not cat his hay: and behind your back, he will cozen your horse to his face. Ilis curry-combe is one of his best parts, for he expresseth much by the gingling: and his manecombe is a spinners card turn’d out of service. Hee puiffes and blowes over your horse, to the hazard of a double jugge; and leaves much of the dressing to the proverbe of Muli mutuo scabient, One horse rubs another. Hee comes to him that cals loudest, not first; hee takes a broken head patiently, but the knave he feeles not. His utmost honesty is good fellowship, and he spcakes Northerne, what countryman Soever. He hath a pension of ale from the next smith and sadler for intelligence: he loves to see you ride, and holds your stirrop in expectation.
A Good Wife
S a mans best movcable, a scien incor
porate with the stocke, bringing sweet
fruit; one that to her husband is more then a friend, lesse than trouble: an equall with him in the yoke. Calamities and troubles she shares alike, nothing pleaseth her that doth not him. She is relative in all; and he without her, but halfe himself. She is his absent hands, eyes, eares, and mouth : his present and absent all. She frames her nature unto his howsoever; the hiacinth followes not the sun more willingly. Stubbornnesse and obstinacy are hearbs that grow not in her garden. She leaves tattling to the gossips of the town, and is more secne then heard. Her houschold is her charge; her care to that, makes her seldom non resident. Her pride is but to be cleanly, and her thrift not to be prodigall. By her discretion she hath children, not wantons; a husband without her, is a misery in mans apparel : none but she hath an aged husband, to whom she is both a staffe and a chaire. To conclude, shee is both wise and religious, which makes her all this.
A Melancholy Man
S a strayer from the clrove : one that nature made sociable, because shec made
him man, and a crazed disposition hath altered. Impleasing to all, as all to him; straggliny thoughts are his content, they make him dreame waking, there's his pleasure. His imagination is never idle, it keeps his mind in a continuall motion, as the poise the clocke: he winds up his thoughts often, and as often unwinds them; Penelopes web thrives faster. He'le seldome be found