Her modesty is curiositie, and her smell is one of her best ornaments. Shee passeth not a span bredth. And to have done, she is the cook and the meat, dressing her selfe all day, to be tasted with the better appetite at night.

A meere Common Lawyer

S the best shadow to make a discreet one shew the fairer. Hee is a materia prima informed by reports, actuated by statutes, and hath his motion by the favorable intelligence of the court. His law is alwayes furnisht with a commission to arraigne his conscience: but upon judgement given, he usually sets it at large. Hee thinks no language worth knowing but his Barragouin. Onely for that point he hath beene a long time at warres with Priscian for a northern province. He imagines that by super excellency his profession onely is learning, and that it's a prophanation of the temple to his Themis dedicated, if any of the liberall arts be there admitted to offer strange incense to her. For indeed he is all for mony. Seven or eight yeares squires him out, some of his nation lesse standing and ever since the night of his call, he forgot much what he was at dinner. The next morning his man (in actua or potentia) injoyes his

pickadels. His landresse is then shrewdly troubled in fitting him a ruffe; his perpetuall badge. His love-letters of the last yeare of his gentlemanship are stuft with discontinuances, remitters, and uncore prists but now being enabled to speake in proper person, hee talkes of a French-hood, in stead of a joynture, wages his law, and joynes issue. Then he begins to sticke his letters in his ground chamber-window; that so the superscription may make his squire-ship transparent. His herauldry gives him place before the minister, because the law was before the gospell. Next tearme he walkes his hoopsleeve gowne to the hall; there it proclaimes him. He feeds fat in the reading, and till it chances to his turne, dislikes no house order so much, as that the month is so contracted to a fortnight. 'Mongst his countrey neighbours, he arrogates as much honour for being reader of an Inne of Chancery, as if it had beene of his own house. For they, poore soules, take law and conscience, Court and Chancery for all one. He learn'd to frame his cases from putting riddles, and imitating Merlins prophecies, and to set all the crosse-row together by the cares. Yet his whole law is not able to decide Lucans one old controversie 'twixt Tau and Sigma. He accounts no man of his cap and coat idle, but who trots not the circuit. Hce affects no life or quality for it selfe, but for gaine; and that at least, to the stating him

in a justice of peace-ship, which is the first quickning soule superadded to the elementary and inanimate form of his new title. His tearmes are his wives vacations. Yet she then may usurpe divers courtdaies, and hath her returnes in mensem, for writs of entry: often shorter. His vacations are her termers. But in assise time (the circuit being long) he may have a tryall at home against him by nisi prius. No way to heaven he thinkes, so wise, as through Westminster Hall; and his clarkes commonly through it visit both heaven and hell. Yet then hee oft forgets his journeyes end, although hee looke on the StarreChamber. Neither is he wholly destitute of the arts. Grammar hee hath enough to make termination of those words which his authority hath endenizon'd. Rhetoricke some; but so little, that its thought a concealement. Logicke enough to wrangle. Arith meticke enough for the ordinals of his yeare books : and number-roles: but he goes not to multiplication; there's a statute against it. So much geometrie, that he can advise in a perambulatione facienda, or a rationalibus divisis. In astronomy and astrology he is so far scene, that by the Dominicall letter, he knowes the holy dayes, and finds by calculation that Michaelmas term will be long and dirty. Marry hee knowes so much in musicke, that he affects only the most and cunningest discords; rarely a perfect concord, especially song, except in fine. His skill

in perspective endeavors much to deceive the eye of the law, and gives many false colours. He is specially practised in necromancy, (such a kind as is out of the statute of Primo) by raising many dead questions. What sufficiency he hath in criticisme, the foule copies of his speciall pleas will tell you.

Many of the same coat, which are much to be honoured, partake of divers of his indifferent qualities: but so, that discretion, vertue, and sometimes other good learning, concurring and distinguishing ornaments to them, make them as a foyle to set their worth on.

A meere Scholer.

MEERE scholer is an intelligible asse: or a silly fellow in blacke, that speaks

sentences more familiarly than sense. The antiquity of his University is his creed, and the excellency of his Colledge (though but for a match at foot-ball) an article of his faith: he speakes Latin better then his mother-tongue; and is a stranger in no part of the world, but in his owne countrey: he do's usually tell great stories of himselfe to small purpose, for they are commonly ridiculous, be they true or false: his ambition is, that he either is or shall be a graduate: but if ever he get a fellowship, he has then no fellow. In spight of all logicke he dare

sweare and maintaine it, that a cuckold and a townes-man are termini convertibiles, though his mothers husband be an alderman: he was never begotten (as it seems) without much wrangling; for his whole life is spent in pro and contra: his tongue goes alwaics before his wit, like gentleman-usher, but somewhat faster. That he is a compleat gallant in all points, cap à pea; witnesse his horseman-ship and the wearing of his weapons: he is commonly long-winded, able to speake more with ease, then any man can endure to heare with patience. University jests are his universall discourse, and his newes, the demeanor of the proctors: his phrase, the apparell of his mind, is made of divers shreds like a cushion, and when it goes plainest, it hath a rash outside, and fustian linings. The currant of his speech is clos'd with an ergo; and what-ever be the question, the truth is on his side. "Tis a wrong to his reputation to be ignorant of any thing; and yet hee knowes not that he knowes nothing: he gives directions for husbandry, from Virgils Georgickes; for cattell, from his Bucolicks; for warlike stratagems, from his Eneides, or Casars Commentaries: hee orders all things by the booke, is skilfull in all trades, and thrives in none: hee is led more by his eares then his understanding, taking the sound of words for their true sense and do's therefore confidently beleeve, that Erra Pater was