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enjoy of standing on my legs, and I propose, with the usual hips, the health of Mr. Aiken Drum, our facetious host and guest.'

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My Lord Phoppington,' replied his brother peer, before I drink this health, allow me to say that I cordially join you in your sentiments of respect towards Mr. Drum.'

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They then emptied their glasses, and threw them over their shoulders, one of them unfortunately smashing a handsome mirror that hung upon the wall. This circumstance had a wonderful effect upon Aiken's eloquence in his reply; for this same mirror was an especial favourite of his wife's, it having been a part of her first plenishing. A more lame, a more miserable speech never came from his lips before, or I believe since. With one eye he looked at their lordships, with the other he glanced at the shattered looking-glass. Although he did not allude to the untoward accident, their lordships could not fail to see that it had made a powerful impression on his mind, and they then told him just to put it in the bill. This set matters all to rights again, and now his genius burst forth into singing. He sung all his best songs, and told all his best stories, at which their lordships were hugely delighted. At last so completely exhausted was Aiken with his exertions to please his noble customers, that he fell fast asleep on his chair. Lord Thimblerigg then made a tour through the room, opened the family chest of drawers, and helped himself to a few unconsidered trifles which he found there,-a few old rings, a shabby-looking gold watch, and a greasy pocket-book, which contained a bunch of Robin Carricks.** In the mean time, Lord Phoppington busied himself in making a pair of moustaches upon Aiken's upper lip with a burned cork, and our worthy landlord looked for all the world like a Turk after his siesta. The footmen had been no less industrious than their noble masters. They had contrived to make all the establishment drunk ; and next morning when Aiken awoke, he found that his illustrious customers were gone, lacqueys and all, and that they had forgotten to ask their amount of reckoning. The room in which he had slept all night presented a lamentable sight-chairs broken, tables upset, china bowls and glasses smashed to pieces, the mirror a mere frame, the drawers rifled, everything in the most picturesque confusion. But what was perhaps worst of all, the spirit-casks in the bar had been left running all night, and poor Aiken had to send to a neighbouring publican's for a gill of whiskey before he could get his mornin'.'

"It was afterwards discovered, but not until all of them were sent abroad for the good of their country, that the Lords Phoppington and Thimblerigg were writers' clerks from Paisley, and that their footmen were noted swindlers from the same quarter. Had Aiken been conversant with these facts and circumstances before his introduction to the members of the Town Council, it is not unlikely but he might have allowed his right hand to forget its cunning, and with all his heart have 'sunk his native town of Paisley.' In short, he might have been 'WIDE

AWAKE.

The night had now far advanced, and after a general parting glass of toddy the club separated, having previously made an arrangement to assemble again on an early day.

* Mr. Robert Carrick was at one time a celebrated banker in the west of Scot land; aud in that part of the world, even to this day, a bank note is commonly called a Robin Carrick.

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