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In politics, I have an infallible sheme for ruining the French power, which, I suppose, will be bought up at any price, by commission from abroad, if our ministry have not spirit enough to outbid them. I have another for a coalition of parties, which will prevent all disputes at the next general election. I have another for discharging the national debt, which I contrived in gratitude for my being set at liberty by the last act of insolvency. I have several other pamphlets on the important topics of liberty, bribery, and corruption, written on both sides the question; and a most curious collection of speeches adapted to every kind of debate, which will be of admirable use to young members of parliament.

In philosophy, I have several new systems in opposition to the present received opinions; I have a proof that the earth is an octagon; another that the sun is inhabited; and a third, that the moon may, for aught we can tell to the contrary, be made of a green cheese. I have a new theory of optics; demonstrating that darkness is caused by certain tenebrificous rays oppugning, obtunding, sheathing, and absorbing the rays of light. I have resolved the phenomena of electricity and magnetism; and have made many surprising improvements in all the arts and sciences. These I fear will be carried off by some German professor, who will thence claim the merit, to himself, and the honour of the discovery will be attributed to his nation.

Those who are fond of displaying their talents in religious disputes, will find in my auction, sufficient matter for their various altercations; whether they are Atheists, Deists, or distinguished by the modest appellation of Free-thinkers. There is scarce a sect among the many hundred, whom I have not defended or attacked: but it must not be concluded from

thence, that I have been biassed more towards one than another; as you know the faith of an author is out of the question, and he only writes pro or con, as the several opinions are more or less embraced or exploded in the world. I have got, indeed, some infallible arguments against the Pope's infallibility; and some probable conjectures, that there never was such a person as Mahomet; both which, I don't doubt, will be bought up by the emissaries of Rome and Constantinople.'

Here I interrupted my friend, by asking him, if he had not something likewise against the Patriarch of the Greek church; or a serious admonition against the growth of Hottentotism among us. He answered very calmly, I should see in the catalogue,' and proceeded.

The emissaries of Constantinople-Well-My stock in the Belles Lettres is almost inexhaustible. I have a complete set of criticisms on all the ancient authors, and a large store of conjectural emendations on the old English classics: I have several new essays in modern wit and humour; and a long string of papers both serious and diverting, for periodical lucubrations: I have, I know not how many original entertaining novels, as well as elegant translations from the French; with a heap of single pamphlets on the most popular and interesting subjects. My poetry will consist of every article, whether tragedies, comedies, farces, masques, operas, sonnets, cantatas, songs, pastorals, satires, odes, elegies, or epithalamiums and then, such a load of epigrams, anagrams, rebusses, riddles, acrostics, conundrums! which you know will fetch a high price from the witlings, and the proprietors of monthly magazines. To wind up the whole, there shall be several distinct lots of titlepages and mottos, and dedications, and prefaces, and plans for books.

Thus, my dear friend, have I opened to you the main drift of my design; and I believe, at a moderate computation-let me see-ay, after I have cleared myself in the world, I shall be able to retire into the country, let me tell you, with a pretty fortune in my pocket. But before I begin my sale, if you can find any thing that will suit your Adventurer, as you are an old acquaintance, you shall have it at your own price.'

I thanked Mr. Spinbrain for his genteel offer, and heartily congratulated him on the prospect of his pretty fortune: but I could not help enquiring where all these immense stores of literature were lodged, as I never had observed any thing but loose scraps of paper scattered about his room, and one book of loci communes,' or 'hints' as he called them, placed upon the chimney-piece. Ha!' says he, that's true; I forgot to mention that; why, indeed, they are none of them quite finished as yet; but I have got the rough draughts of most somewhere: besides I have it all here, pointing to his forehead. I advised him to set about it directly; and in the evening, when we parted, he resolved not to go to bed till he had perfected his scheme. Yesterday morning I received a note from him, acquainting me that he had laid aside all thoughts of his auction; because, as he imagined, the maid had inadvertently lighted his fire with the best of his materials.

The restlessness of my friend's chimerical genius will not, however, let him entirely give up the point : and though he has been disappointed in this mighty project, yet he informs me, he has hit upon a scheme equally advantageous, which shall monopolize the whole business of scribbling, and he offers to take me into partnership with him. 'Ah,' says he, shall humble those fellows-We need not care a far

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thing for Mr. Bibliopola,'-His design is to open a New Literary Warehouse, or Universal Register Office for Wit and Learning. The particulars he has pro

mised to communicate to me to-morrow: in the mean time he desires me to advance him a trifle, to buy paper for a poem on the late theatrical disputes.

A.

N° 7. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 1752.

Sit mibi fas audita loqui

What I have heard, permit me to relate.

:

VIRG.

I RECEIVED, a few weeks ago, an account of the death of a lady whose name is known to many, but the "eventful history" of whose life has been communicated to few to me it has been often related during a long and intimate acquaintance; and as there is not a single person living, upon whom the making it public can reflect unmerited dishonour, or whose delicacy or virtue can suffer by the relation, I think I owe to mankind a series of events from which the wretched may derive comfort, and the most forlorn may be encouraged to hope; as misery is alleviated by the contemplation of yet deeper distress, and the mind fortified against despair by instances of unexpected relief.

The father of Melissa was the younger son of a country gentleman who possessed an estate of about five hundred a year; but as this was to be the inheritance of the elder brother, and as there

were three sisters to be provided for, he was at about sixteen taken from Eton school, and apprenticed to a considerable merchant at Bristol. The young gentleman, whose imagination had been fired by the ex. ploits of heroes, the victories gained by magnanimous presumption, and the wonders discovered by daring curiosity, was not disposed to consider the acquisition of wealth as the limit of his ambition, or the repute of honest industry as the total of his fame. He regarded his situation as servile and ignominious, as the degradation of his genius and the preclusion of his hopes; and longing to go in search of adventures, he neglected his business as unworthy of his attention, heard the remonstrances of his master with a kind of sullen disdain, and after two years' legal slavery made his escape, and at the next town enlisted himself a soldier; not doubting but that, by his military merit and the fortune of war, he should return a general officer, to the confusion of those who would have buried him in the obscurity of a compting-house. He found means effectually to elude the inquiries of his friends, as it was of the utmost importance to prevent their officious endeavours to ruin his project and obstruct his advance

ment.

He was sent with other recruits to London, and soon after quartered with the rest of his company in a part of the country, which was so remote from all with whom he had any connection, that he no longer dreaded a discovery.

It happened that he went one day to the house of a neighbouring gentleman with his comrade, who was become acquainted with the chamber-maid, and by her interest admitted into the kitchen. This gentleman, whose age was something more than sixty, had been about two years married to a second wife, a young woman who had been well

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