their place on the French prince's toilet (see Boswell's Johnson to the grocer's counter and the gipsy murderer's bacon !

What would he have said? What can anybody say, save what Solomon said long before us? After all, it is but passing from one counter to another, from the bookseller's to the other tradesman's— grocer or pastry-cook. For my part, I have met with most poetry upon trunks; so that I am apt to consider the trunk-maker as the sexton of authorship.-Byron's Journals.

POOR RELATIONS.

A POOR RELATION is the most irrelevant thing in nature; a piece of impertinent correspondency; an odious approximation; a haunting conscience; a preposterous shadow, lengthening in the noontide of your prosperity; an unwelcome remembrancer; a perpetually recurring mortification; a drain on your purse, a more intolerable dun upon your pride; a drawback upon success; a rebuke upon your rising; a stain in your blood; a blot on your 'scutcheon; a rent in your garment; a death's head at your banquet; Agathocles' pot; a Mordecai in your gate; a Lazarus at your door; a lion in your path; a frog in your chamber; a fly in your ointment; a mote in your eye; a triumph to your enemy; an apology to your friends; the one thing not needful; the hail in harvest; the ounce of sour in the pound of sweet. His memory is unseasonable; his compliments perverse; his talk a trouble; his stay pertinacious ;—and when he goeth away, you dismiss his chair into a corner as precipitately as possible, and feel fairly rid of two nuisances.—Charles Lamb.

MARRIAGE.

MAN is for woman made,
And woman made for man ;
As the spur is for the jade,
As the scabbard for the blade,
As for liquor is the can,
So man's for woman made,
And woman made for man.
As the sceptre to be swayed,
As to night the serenade,
As for pudding is the pan,
As to cool us is the fan,
So man's for woman made,
And woman made for man.
Be she widow, wife, or maid,
Be she wanton, be she staid,
Be she well or ill-arrayed,
So man's for woman made,
And woman made for man.

Motteaux

PIOUS FRAUDS; OR, THE KNIGHT AND THE FRIAR.

A MONK was standing at a convent gate,
With sanctimonious phiz and shaven pate,
Promising, with solemn cant,

To all that listened to his rant,
A full and perfect absolution,

With half-a-dozen hallowed benedictions,
If they would give some contribution,
Some large donation supererogatory:
To ransom fifty murdered Christians,
And free their precious souls from purgatory:
When (he asserted) they would gain
A passport from the realms of pain,
And find a speedy passage to the skies.
A knight was riding by, and heard these lies;
He stopped his horse, "Salve," the parson cried;
And "Benedicite" the youth replied.

"Most reverend father," quoth the knight,
Who, it appears, was sharp and witty,
"These martyred Christians' wretched plight
Believe me, I sincerely pity:

Nay, more their sufferings to relieve,
I will these fifty ducats give."

This was no sooner said than done:
The priest pronounced his benison.

Now, I presume," the soldier said,

"The spirits of these Christians dead
Have reached their final place of rest?"
"Most true," replied the reverend friar,
(Unless Saint Francis is a liar);
And, to reward the pious action
Of this most Christian benefaction,
You will, no doubt, eternally be blest."
"Well, then," exclaimed the soldier-youth,

"If what you say indeed be truth,

And these same pieces that I've given,

Have snatched their souls from purgatory's pains,

And bought them a snug place in heaven,

No further use for them remains."

He said thus much to prove, at least,

He was as cunning as the priest :

Then put the ducats in his poke,
And rode off, laughing at the joke.

CHESHIRE CHEESE.

CHESHIRE retains its celebrity for cheese-making. The pride of its people in the superiority of its cheese may be gathered from the follow

ing provincial song, published, with music, in 1746, during the Spanish war, in the reign of George II.

A Cheshire man sailed into Spain

To trade for merchandise;
When he arrivèd from the main,

A Spaniard he espies

Who said, "You English rogue, look here,
What fruits and spices fine

Our land produces twice a year;
Thou hast not such in thine."

The Cheshire man ran to his hold,
And fetched a Cheshire cheese ;
And said, "Look here, you dog; behold,
We have such fruits as these!

"Your fruits are ripe but twice a year,
As you yourself do say ;
But such as I present you here,
Our land brings twice a day."
The Spaniard in a passion flew,
And his rapier took in hand;
The Cheshire man kicked up his heels,
Saying, "Thou art at my command."

So never let a Spaniard boast,

While Cheshire men abound,

Lest they should teach him, to his cost,
To dance a Cheshire round.

KING CHARLES I. AND THE MARQUESS OF
WORCESTER.

THE sphere of a poet's influence is far wider than that of his own age; and however we may now deem of this grave and ancient poet [Gower], he still found understanding admirers so late as the reign of Charles the First. In the curious "conference" which took place when Charles the First visited the Marquess of Worcester at Raglan Castle, with his court, there is the following anecdote respecting the poet Gower.

The marquess was a shrewd though whimsical man, and a favourite of the king for his frankness and his love of the arts. His lordship entertained the royal guest with extraordinary magnificence. Among his rare curiosities was a sumptuous copy of Gower's volume.

Charles the First usually visited the marquess after dinner. Once he found his lordship with the book of John Gower lying open, which the king said he had never before seen. "Oh," exclaimed the marquess, "it is a book of books! and if your Majesty had been well versed in it, it would have made you a king of kings." "Why so, my

lord ?" "Why, here is set down how Aristotle brought up and instructed Alexander the Great in all the rudiments and principles belonging to a prince." And under the persons of Aristotle and Alexander, the marquess read the king such a lesson that all the standers-by were amazed at his boldness.

The king asked whether he had his lesson by heart, or spake out of the book. "Sir, if you would read my heart, it may be that you might find it there; or if your Majesty pleased to get it by heart, I will lend you my book." The king accepted the offer.

Some of the new-made lords fretted and bit their thumbs at certain passages in the marquess's discourse; and some protested that no man was so much for the absolute power of a king as Aristotle. The marquess told the king that he would indeed show him one remarkable passage to that purpose; and turning to the place read:

"A king can kill, a king can save;

A king can make a lord a knave,
And of a knave a lord also."

On this several new-made lords shrank out of the room, which the king observing told the marquess, "My lord, at this rate you will drive away all my nobility."-Disraeli's Amenities of Literature.

GREAT MEN'S LOVE FOR CATS.

CHAMPFLEURY has one interesting chapter on the love of distinguished characters for cats. Tasso addressed the finest of his sonnets to his cat; Petrarch had his favourite cat embalmed in the Egyptian style ; Cardinal Wolsey gave audience with his cat seated beside him. There is or was a statue in a niche of the ancient prison of Newgate, representing the famous Whittington, Lord Mayor of London, with his right hand resting on a cat. Mahomet on one occasion cut off the skirt of his robe, so that he might rise without disturbing his cat, which was sleeping on it. Cardinal Richelieu, the great prime minister of France, always kept a number of kittens in his cabinet, to amuse him with their pranks. Chateaubriand loved cats all his life; and his passion for them was so notorious, that when he was ambassador at Rome, the Pope made him a present of one. Michelet, the historian, and the essayist on Love and Women, is so fond of these animals that he will even pet a deformed one, and will not allow it to be molested. Moncrif, a clever French writer and member of the Academy, was another cat lover, and author of Les Lettres sur les Chats. Then come the German story-writer, Hoffman, the French poets Baudelaire, Gautier, and Victor Hugo, the historian Mérimée, and our own Edgar Poe, besides a well-known list of English writers. On the whole, the cats have no reason to be ashamed of their intimates. There have been artists who have loved this creature well enough to do much good work in drawing and painting him. Champfleury's book is illustrated by eighty excellent wood-cuts, which give us at least a hint of what has been done in this line by the Egyptians, the Romans, the Japanese; by the German Gotfried Mind,

f: wide than that of his own thas grave and ancient poet admirers so late as the reign of "carterence which took place

Charles the First visited the hicranes a. Worcester at Raglan when, there is the following anecdote respecting the

howed though whimsical man, and a favourite A Bonneys and his love of the arts. His lordship ong with extraordinary magnificence. Among options copy of Gower's volume. mally visited the marquess after dinner. Once i will the book of John Gower lying open, which "Oh, exclaimed the mar

As and if your Majesty had been well and made you a king of kings." "Why so, my