at the least, with long and fervent hummes. Any thing else, either for language or matter, he cannot abide, but thus censureth: Latine, the language of the beast; Greeke, the tongue wherein the heathen poets wrote their fictions; Hebrew, the speech of the Jewes that crucified Christ: controversies doe not edifie; logicke and philosophie, are the subtilties of Sathan to deceive the simple. Humane stories prophane, and not savouring of the spirit: in a word, all decent and sensible forme of speech and perswasion, (though in his owne tongue) vaine ostentation. And all this is the burthen of his ignorance: saving that sometimes idlenesse will put in also to beare a part of the baggage. His other beast imperiousnes, is yet more proudly loaden, it carryeth a burthen, that no cords of authority, spirituall nor temporall, should bind, if it might have the full swinge: no pilat, no prince should command him: nay, he will command them, and at his pleasure censure them, if they will not suffer their eares to be fettered with the long chaines of his tedious collations, their purses to be emptied with the inundations of his unsatiable humour, and their judgements to be blinded with the muffler of his zealous ignorance. For this doth he familiarly insult over his maintainer that breeds him, his patron that feeds him, and in time over all them that will suffer him to set a foot within their doores, or H put a finger in their purses. All this, and much more is in him, that abhorring degrees and Universities, as reliques of superstition, hath leapt from a shopboord, or a cloake-bag, to a deske, or pulpit, and that like a sea-god in a pageant, hath the rotten laths of his culpable life, and palpable ignorance, covered over with the painted-cloth of a pure gowne, and a night-cap; and with a false trumpet of fained zeale, draweth after him some poore nymphs and madmen, that delight more to resort to darke caves and secret places, then to open and publike assemblies. The lay-hypocrite, is to the other a champion, disciple, and subject; and will not acknowledge the tythe of the subjection to any miter; no, not to any scepter, that he will doe to the hooke and crooke of his zeale-blind shepheard. No Jesuites demand more blind and absolute obedience from their vassals, no magistrates of the canting society, more slavish subjection from the members of that travelling state, then the clerke hypocrites expect from these lay pupils. Nay, they must not only be obeyd, fed, and defended, but admired too : and that their lay-followers doe sincerely, as a shirtlesse fellow with a cudgell under his arme doth a face-wringing ballet-singer; a water-bearer on the floore of a play-house, a wide mouth'd poet, that speakes nothing but bladders and bumbast. Otherwise, for life and profession, nature and art, inward and outward: they agree in all, like canters and gypsies, they are all zeale, no knowledge: all purity, no humanity: all simplicity, no honesty and if you never trust them, they will never deceive you. : A Maquerela, in plaine English a Bawde, S an old char-cole, that hath been burnt her selfe, and therefore is able to kindle a whole greene coppice. The burden of her song is like that of Frier Bacons head; time is, time was, and time is past: in repeating which, she makes a wicked brazen face, and weepes in the cup, to allay the heat of her aqua vita. Her teeth are falne out; marry her nose, and chin, intend very shortly to be friends, and meet about it. Her yeares are sixty and odde: that she accounts her best time of trading; for a bawd is like a medlar, she's not ripe, till she be rotten. Her envy is like that of the devill, to have all faire women like her; and because 'tis impossible they should catch it being so young, she hurries them to it by diseases. Her parke is a villanous barren ground; and all the deere in it are rascall: yet poore cottagers in the country (that know her but by hearesay) thinke well of her; for what she encloses to day, shee makes common to morrow. Her goods and her selfe are all removed in one sort, only she makes bold to take the upper hand of them, and to be carted before them; the thought of which, makes her she cannot endure a posset, because it puts her in mind of a bason. Shee sits continually at a rackt rent; especially, if her landlord beare office in the parish: for her moveables in the house; (besides her quicke cattell) they are not worth an inventory, onely her beds are most commonly in print: shee can easily turne a sempstresse into a waiting gentle-woman, but her wardrobe is most infectious, for it brings them to the falling-sicknesse: she hath only this one shew of temperance: that let a gentle-man send for ten pottles of wine in her house, hee shall have but ten quarts; and if he want it that way, let him pay for't, and take it out in stewd prunes. The justices clark stands many times her very good friend; and works her peace with the justice of quorum. Nothing joyes her so much, as the comming over of strangers, nor daunts her so much, as the approach of Shrove-tuesday. In fine, not to foule more paper with so foule a subject, he that hath past under her, hath past the equinoctial; he that hath scap't her, hath scap't worse then the calenture. A Chamber-maide. HE is her mistresses she secretary, and keepes the box of her teeth, her haire, and her painting very private. Her industry is up staires, and down staires like a drawer: and by her dry hand you may know she is a sore starcher. If shee lye at her masters beds feet, she is quit of the greene sicknesse for ever; for she hath terrible dreames when she's awake, as if she were troubled with the night-mare. She hath a good liking to dwell i'th country, but she holds London the goodliest forest in England, to shelter a great belly. She reads Greenes works over and over, but is so carried away with the Mirror of Knighthood, she is many times resolv'd to runne out of her selfe, and become a lady errant. If she catch a clap, she divides it so equally betweene the master and the serving-man, as if she had cut out the getting of it by a thred: only the knave sumner makes her bowle booty, and over-reach the master. The pedant of the house, though hee promise her mariage, cannot grow further inward with her, she hath paid for her credulity often, and now growes weary. She likes the forme of our mariage very well, in that a woman is not tyed to answer to any articles concerning questions of virginity: her mind, her body, and |