124

TICKLER IS BEATEN AT BACKGAMMON.

speakin. You was sae enterteenin, Mr North-sae eloquent -sae philosophical.

Mullion. That's twa ggems, Mr Tickler. Hurra, hurra, hurra!

Shepherd. Od, man, Mullion, to hear ye hurrain that gate, ane wad think ye had never won onything a' your lifetime afore. When you hae been coortin, did ye never hear a saft laigh voice saying, "Ou ay?" And did you get up, and wave your haun that way roun' your head, and cry, Hurra, hurra, hurra, like a Don Cossack?

Mullion. Do not cut me up any more to-night, James-let us be good friends. I beg pardon for snoring yestreen-forgive me, or I must go for your satire is. terrible.

Shepherd. You're a capital clever chiel, Mullion. I was just tryin to see what effec severity o' manner and sarcasm wud hae upon you, and I'm content wi' the result o' the experiment. You see, Mr North, there's Mullion, and there's millions o' Mullions in the warld, whenever he sees me frichtened for him, or modest like, which is my natural disposition, he rins in upon me like a terrier gaun to pu' a badger. That's a' I get by actin on the defensive. Sometimes, therefore, as just noo, I change my tactics, and at him open-mouthed, tooth and nail, down wi' him, and worry him, as if I were a grew1 and him a bit leveret. That keeps him quate for the rest o' the nicht, and then the Shepherd can tak his swing without let or interruption.

Tickler. I have not lost a game at backgammon these five years!

Shepherd. What a lee! The tailor o' Yarrow Ford dang ye a' to bits, baith at gammon and the dambrod, that day I grupped the sawmont wi' the wee midge-flee. You were perfectly black in the face wi' anger at the bodie-but he had real scientific genius in him by the gift o' nature the tailor o' Yarrow Ford, and could rin up three columns o' feegures at a time, no wi' his finger on the sclate, but just in his mind's ee, like George Bidder, or the American laddie Colburn.

North. Gaming is not a vice, then, in the country, James? Shepherd. There's little or nae sic thing as gamblin in the kintra, sir. You'll fin' a pack o' cairds in mony o' the houses, but no in them a', for some gude fathers o' families think

1 Grew-greyhound.

them the deevil's beuks; and sure aneuch, when ower muckle read, they begin to smell o' sulphur and Satan.

North. Why, James, how can old people, a little dim-eyed or so, while an occasional evening away better than at an innocent and cheerful game at cards?

Shepherd. Haud your haun a wee, Mr North. I'm no saying onything to the reverse. But I was sayin that there are heads o' families that abhor cairds, and would half-kill their sons and daughters were they to bring a pack into the house. Neither you nor me wull blame them for sic savin prejudice. The austere Calvinistic spirit canna thole to think that the knave o' spades should be lying within twa-three inches o' the Bible. The auld stern man wud as soon forgie the introduction into the house o' base ballads o' sinfu' love-and wishes that the precincts be pure o' his ain fire-side. Though I take a ggem o' whust now and then mysel, yet I boo to the principle, and I venerate the adherence till't in the highsouled patriarchs of the Covenant.

North. Perhaps such strict morality is scarcely practicable in our present condition.

Shepherd. What, do you mainteen that cairds are absolutely necessary in a puir man's house? Tuts! As for auld dimeyed people, few o' them, except they be blin' a'thegither, that canna read big prent wi' powerfu' specs, and they can aye get, at the warst, some bit wee idle Oe1 to read out aloud to its grannies, without expense o' oil or cawnel, by the heartsome ingle-light. You'll generally fin' that auld folk that plays cairds have been raither freevolous, and no muckle addickit to thocht-unless they're greedy, and play for the pool, which is fearsome in auld age; for what need they care for twa-three brass penny-pieces for ony ither purpose than to buy nails for their coffin?

North. You push the argument rather far, James.

Shepherd. Na, sir. Avarice is a failing o' auld age sure aneuch-and shouldna be fed by the Lang Ten. I'm aye somewhat sad when I see folk o' eighty haudin up the trumps to their rheumy een, and shakin their heads, whether they wull or no, ower a gude and a bad haun alike. Then, safe on us! only think o' them cheatin-revokin-and marking mair than they ought wi' the counters!

1 Oe-grandson.

126

CARD-PLAYING IN THE COUNTRY.

North. The picture is strongly coloured; but could you not paint another less revolting-nay, absolutely pleasant-nor violate the truth of nature?

Shepherd. I'm no quite sure; perhaps I micht. In anither condition o' life-in towns, and among folk o' a higher rank— I dinna deny that I hae seen auld leddies playing cards very composedly, and without appearin to be doin onything that's wrang. Before you judge richtly o' ony ae thing in domestic life, you maun understan' the haill constitution o' the economy. Noo, auld leddies in towns dress somewhat richly and superbly, wi' ribbons, and laces, and jewels even, and caps munted wi' flowers and feathers; and I'm no blamin them-and then they dine out, and gang to routes, and gie dinners and routes in return, back to hunders o' their friends and acquaintance. Noo, wi' sic a style and fashion o' life as that, caird-playing seems to be somewhat accordant, if taken in moderation, and as a quiet pastime, and no made a trade o', or profession, for sake o' filthy lucre. I grant it harmless; and gin it maks the auld leddies happy, what richt hae I to mint1 ony objections? God bless them, man; far be it frae me to curtail the resources o' auld age. Let them play on, and all I wish is, they may never lose either their temper, their money, nor their natural rest.

North. And I say God bless you, James, for your sentiments do honour to humanity.

Shepherd. As for young folks-lads and lasses, like-when the gudeman and his wife are gane to bed, what's the harm in a ggem at cairds? It's a chearfu', noisy sicht o' comfort and confusion. Sic luckin into ane anither's hauns! Sic fause shufflin! Sic unfair dealin! Sic winkin to tell your pairtner that ye hae the king or the ace! And when that wunna do, sic kickin o' shins and treadin on taes aneath the tableaften the wrang anes! Then down wi' your haun o' cairds in a clash on the brod, because you've ane ower few, and the coof maun lose his deal! Then what gigglin amang the lasses! What amicable, nay, love-quarrels, between pairtners! Jokin, and jeestin, and tauntin, and toozlin-the cawnel blawn out, and the soun' o' a thousan' kisses! That's caird-playing in the kintra, Mr North; and whare's the man amang ye that wull daur to say that it's no a pleasant pastime o' a winter's 1 To mint-to start.

SHEPHERD DENOUNCES GAMBLING.

127

nicht, when the snaw is cumin doon the lum, or the speat's roarin amang the mirk mountains?

North. Wilkie himself, James, is no more than your equal. Shepherd. O man, Mr North, sir, my heart is wae—my soul's sick-and my spirit's wrathfu', to think o' thae places in great cities which they ca'-Hells!

North. Thank Heaven, my dear James, that I never was a gambler-nor, except once, to see the thing, ever in a Hell. But it was a stupid and passionless night-a place of mean. misery, altogether unworthy of its name.

Shepherd. I'm glad you never went back, and that the devil was in the dumps; for they say that some nichts in thae Hells, when Satan and Sin sit thegither on ae chair, he wi’ his arm roun' the neck o' that Destruction his daughter, a horrible temptation invades men's hearts and souls, drivin and draggin them on to the doom o' everlasting death.

North. Strong language, James-many good and great men have shook the elbow.

Shepherd. Come, come now, Mr North, and dinna allow paradox to darken or obscure the bright licht o' your great natural and acquired understandin. "Good and great” are lofty epithets to bestow on ony man that is born o' a woman -and if ony such there have been who delivered themselves up to sin, and shame, and sorrow, at the ggeming-table, let their biographers justify them—it will gie me pleasure to see them do't—but such examples shall never confound my judgment o' right or wrang. "Shake the elbow indeed!" What mair does a parricide do but "shake his elbow" when he cuts his father's throat? The gamester shakes his elbow, and down go the glorious oak-trees planted two hundred years ago, by some ancestor who loved the fresh smell o' the woods,away go-if entail does no forbid-thousands o' bonny braid acres, ance a' ae princely estate, but now shivered down into beggarly parshels, while the Auld house seems broken-hearted, and hangs down its head, when the infatuated laird dies or shoots himself. Oh, man! isna it a sad thocht to think that my leddy, aye sae gracious to the puir, should hae to lay down her carriage in her auld age, and disappear frae the Ha' into some far-aff town or village, perhaps no in Scotland ava; while he, that should hae been the heir, is apprenticed to a writer to the signet, and becomes a money-scrivener i' his

128

HIS DREAM OF A HELL."

soul, and aiblins a Whig routin at a public meetin about Queens, and Slavery, and Borough Reform, and Cautholic Emancipation, and

North. No politics, James, if you love me.

my dear Shepherd.

No politics,

Shepherd. I ance dreamed I was in ane o' thae Hells. Wud you like to hear my dream?

North. See, Mullion and Tickler are at the dice again!— Yes, James.

Shepherd. Oh, man! but they look ugly the noo, baith o' them. Only see Mullion's een-how gleg and glowrin in perfec greed and glory-for he's evidently gotten the better just noo-and the haill being o' the cretur is made up o' avarice, and vanity, and a' friendship for Tickler dead in his heart. Sin' a game o' backgammon for half-a-crown can produce a' that upon sic a real worthy chiel as the Secretary— think o' what they ca' hawzard for thousands o' gold guineas, and bars o' solid bullion!

North. But the dream, James, the dream!

Shepherd. I faund mysel suddenly, without warnin and without wonder (for wha wonders at changes even in the laws o' nature hersel in dreams?) in a lamp-lighted ha', furnished like a palace, and fu' o' weel-dressed company, the feck o' them sittin round a great green central table, wi' a' the peraphernalia o' destruction, and a' the instruments o' that dreadfu' trade.

North. You did not, I hope, James, recognise any of our friends there?

Shepherd. No, sir, I did not-yet although a' the faces were new to me, I didna feel as if they were new; but I joined amang them without askin questions wha they were, and was in a manner whirled about in the same vortex.

North. James, you surely did not play?

Shepherd. Nae questions. Some o' the company I took a likin to-fine, young, tall, elegant chiels-some o' them wi' black stocks, like officers out o' regimentals-and, oh! sir, wad you believe it, twa-three that I was sure were o' the clergy—and ane or twa mere bairns, that couldna be aboon saxteen,-a' these, and ithers beside, I felt my heart warm towards, and melt too wi' a sensation maist sickenin o' kindness and pity; for although they tried to be merry and care