1811.

L'ennui du beau amène le gout du singulier.

As every person spends the most part of his time in society, the regulation of his behaviour with respect to that society, ought certainly to form one of his chief concerns. Too much familiaToo much familiarity breeds contempt;-a distant and formal demeanor can never conciliate the affections, or gain esteem; to steer in a proper medium between these, will always be the aim of every well-bred person, though, in many respects, not so easy as may be supposed. No action can be morally classed, or estimated, without some knowledge of the motive by which it was produced; so neither can we judge of the proper mode of behaviour to every person, without studying their various characters, and making allowances for their several capacities and propensities.—What will please from the mouth of one man, will give offence from that of another ;what from one will appear as a compliment, will from another be a gibe,-what will at one time please, will, at another time irritate or disgust: we know all this from experience; and must attend to these circumstances in our behaviour to others, and be anxious to keep a strict watch over our behaviour and daily conversation.

As it seems therefore to be a fact undisputed, that a discrimination of

No. 39.

character is in part requisite for the purpose of regulating our behaviour to the various classes of our acquaintance, consequently, a general rule can never be established; a few things may, however, be pointed out, which it is always becoming to avoid.

In the first place, all affected singularity, should be studiously shunned :-it is impossible, in fashionable life, to be singular without being affected, or appearing to be so; and what trait of a character is more calculated to create contempt than affectation? In the walk -in the drawing-room, and at the table, there are certain forms of etiquette, which can never with propriety be omitted; and which, when performed with ease and good humour, are always becoming. It must be confessed that they have a peculiar grace from some persons, and that, on others, they sit aukwardly; yet any avowed deviation from them always savours of affectation; and though for once or twice it may pass as a jest; yet, if persisted in, will finally excite in every heart that contempt which it deserves.

I have a loved and respected friend, whom for the present, I shall denominate Lewis; who, in spite of his own good sense, and of every remonstrance that friendship can suggest, persists in saying and doing every thing in direct opposition to use and wont, by which

they submissively follow. All violation of established practice, implies in its own nature a rejection of the common opinion, a defiance of common censure, and an appeal from general laws to private judgment: he, therefore, who differs from others, without apparent advantage, ought not to be angry, if his arrogance is punished with ridicule; if those whose example he supercili ously overlooks, point him out to derision, and hoot him back again into the common road.

In moral and religious questions only, a wise man will hold no consultations with fashion, because these duties are constant and immutable, and depend not on the notions of men, but the commands of Heaven: Yet even of these, the external mode is to be in some measure regulated by the prevailing taste of the age in which we live; for he is certainly no friend to virtue, who neglects to give it any lawful attraction, or suffers it either to displease the eye or alienate the affections, for want of innocent compliance with fashionable decorations.

These is another foible, which is at this day too common among the higher ranks of people, which has scarcely ever been animadverted upon, yet there is no other more subversive of the pleasures of conversation; I mean indirect quarrelling, by oblique reflections, and family repartees on each other, Many respectable people indulge themselves in this; conveying the most poignant reproaches, and harsh satires, under the disguise of discoursing on general subjects, which are quite foreign to any thing that may

concern the company. A third person to two lovers is rather in an aukward situation; yet, still the pleasure of seeing two fellow creatures happy, is some consolation, and the mind that is stored with any images of its own, may amuse itself: but from the uneasiness of being a third person to quarrellers there is no relief; your own thoughts are broke in upon by the jarring discord of your companions, who will neither contribute to your entertainment, nor even suffer you to retain the tranquillity of your own bosom; while. at the same time, they are betraying the very inmost secrets of their lives to their common acquaintance, and laying open to their enemies perhaps the faults and imperfections of themselves and their relations, which they would take pains to conceal from their dearest friends.

Amongst the vulgar, where the men vent their passions by swearing, and the women by scolding or crying, their quarrels are generally soon made up; nor does any anger remain after reconciliation. But in higher life, where such efforts are restrained by good breeding, and where people have learned to disguise, not to subdue their passions, an inveterate rancour often lies corroding in the breast, and generally produces all the effects of inexorable malice. We may, however, depend upon this, that all are most inclined to love, when they have nothing to fear; and he that encourages us to please ourselves, will not be long without preference in our affection to those whose learning holds us at the distance of pupils, or whose wit and satire calls all attention from us.

Without good humour, virtue may awe by its dignity, and amaze by its brightness, but must always be viewed at a distance, and will scarcely gain a friend or attract an imitator. The darlings of the world are such as excite neither jealousy nor fear, and are not considered as candidates for any eminent degree of reputation, but content themselves with common accomplishments, and endeavour rather to solicit kindness than to raise esteem and admiration. Good humour is a state between gaiety and unconcern; the act or emanation of a mind at leisure to regard the gratification of another.It is the balm of being; the quality to which all that adorns mankind must owe its power of pleasing. Without good humour, learning or bravery can only confer that superiority which swells the heart of the lion in the desert, where he roars without reply, and ravages without resistance.

There is another noxious weed, the smallest odour from which chills every social delight. It is nearly allied to the last, and vegetates on the same kind of soil; I mean peevishness and complaining. Every person must have occasionally felt how insuffe able this is in company-how the murmurs of dissatisfac tion pierce his soul as with a poisoned arrow, and throw a cold damp upon his heart, though ever so much disposed to mirth and conviviality. He must have observed that even the chiding or complaining of a servant or child, that are perfectly indifferent to him, by any of the company, marrs all the harmony and pleasures of conversation for a considerable time. Yet those who are most disagreeably affected by it, from others,

are commonly the most apt to commit. the same disagreeable mistake.

Peevishness is a disease of the mind, which, if nursed, must ultimately prove fatal to benevolence, the chief duty of social beings, and to happiness, their chief aim; for though it breaks not out in paroxysms, of outrage, nor bursts into clamour and turbulence, yet by slow corrosion, and small injuries incessantly repeated, it wears out by degrees, the fading characters of human happiness. It is the canker of life that destroys its vigour and checks its im provement; that creeps on with hourly depredations, tainting and vitiating what it cannot consume; and when feebleness and old age overtake us, it drives mankind away from us at the time we have greatest need of their tenderness and assistance.

This troublesome impatience, when it has been so far indulged as to outrun the motions of the will, and discover itself without premeditation, is a species of depravity in the highest degree disgusting and offensive; because no rectitude of intention, nor softness of address, can ensure a moment's exemp tion from affront and indignity. While we are courting the favour of a peevish man or woman, and exerting ourselves in the most diligent civility, an unlucky syllable displeases, an unheeded circumstance ruffles and exasperates; and when we congratulate ourselves on having gained a friend, our hopes are frustrated at once, and all our assiduities are forgotten in the casual tumult of some trifling irritation. Peevishness can only be born when despised, or compassionated as the consequence or concomitant of misery.