both Laity and Clergy, inflict on their dependent Brethren: The Difficulties which I met with in Search of a Lectureship (for that was my Summum Bonum) are inconceivable; and I can affure your Lordship, that, trifling as the Emoluments are of this Preferment, all the Perfections of human Nature united are scarce fufficient to a Man, without perfonal Intereft, to infure his Success. The Variety of Diftreffes which I encountered from the different Tempers and Dispofitions of the Gentlemen and Ladies (for fo I was obliged to call them, who had Votes in the Parish) the mean and abject Flattery which I was forced to make Ufe of, with the many frequent Affronts and Disappointments I underwent, would fwell half a melancholy Volume. Without enumerating the neceffary Accomplishments generally expected on these Occafions, of drinking hard with the Husbands, and faying foft things to their Wives; in more Parishes than one, my Lord, where I have been a Candidate, to smoke your Half-dozen of Pipes, and drink two Bottles at a Sitting, are infinitely more neceffary Perfections than any which you could bring with you from the Univerfity; and it is a Maxim with many good Citizens, that unless you are what they call a d----d honeft Fellow, you can never be a good Preacher, or an orthodox Divine; in short, my Lord, and to be ferious, unless a poor Clergyman is every Thing that he ought not to be, he can never be what is every Man's Wish, independent.

I must not, in this Place, forget to mention one Rock which young Divines are perpetually splitting on in this Voyage; and that is, Party: A Candidate must take great Care how he repeats his political Creed ; as, if he declares himself on one Side, he will inevitably be oppofed, flandered and infulted by the other; it behoves him, therefore, always to join with the strongest: But, what is worft of all, if he is of no Side (which your Lordship knows is the

R 4

moft

moft prudent Way) it is a million to one if he is fuffered to continue fo.

I remember, my Lord, when I fet up for the Lecture hip of Saint, the political Thermometer of the Parish was very high: I bad at that Time, and retain to this Moment, the utmost Contempt for all Parties; being fatisfied, as every Man of common Understanding muft be, that there is nothing but Self-intereft at the Bottom of them: It was very difficult, however, I found, to perfuade other Men that I was not as foolish as themselves.

Mr. Alderman Grub and Mr. Deputy Clove, the two leading Men in the Parish, were at that Time, or at leaft profeffed to be, of oppofite Principles; the Alderman a ftaunch Whig, the Deputy a reputed Tory: I waited on them both for their Votes and Intereft, the Confequence of which was, that I fucceeded with neither, both reproaching me with being of a different Way of thinking from themselves. The Alderman was extremely forry he could not ferve me: He had a Regard, he had heard, he admired, &c. but, to be plain with me, he was affured I had drank Tea at the Deputy's. And when I went to the Deputy: For my Part' (I fhall never forget it, my Lord, to my dying Day) For my Part' (faid he)I am of no Side; I defpife all Parties whatfomdever; but there are People whom fome People can't like like other People: In fhort, I thall always be glad to see you whilft you are what you are; but remember, Mr. Parfon, if ever you dine with Alderman Grub again you • understand me- Your humble Servant.'

Thefe, my Lord, are but an inconfiderable Part of the Miseries and Indignities which a poor Parson is fure to encounter with on this Occafion, but half

the Spurns

Which patient Merit from th'Unworthy takes.

For

For my own Part, I cannot but think the very fingle Circumftance of trapefing about from Door to Door in one's Canonicals, perhaps for a Week, is fufficient to deter any Man, who has the leaft Kegard for Cleanlinefs and Decorum, from canvaffing for a City Lectureship. There is not in Nature a more ridiculous Sight than a draggletail Divine, holding up his fpattered Sacerdotals, and dabbling through dirty Streets and blind Alleys, in Search of Civic Preferment.

And now I am upon this Head, my Lord, you muft pardon me

A

SHORT DIGRESSION

CONCERNING

GOWNS AND CASSOCK S.

A certain right reverend Prelate, now with God, (that I think, my Lord, is the Phrafe when we fpeak of departed Epifcopacy) had, amongst other reforming Schemes, entertained a Defign of obliging all the Clergy, and especially those of the Metropolis, to appear conftantly in their proper Uniform, and on no Account permitting them to be seen in publick without a Gown and Caflock. Of what Service this Reformation could poffibly be to Religion and Virtue, I muft own I could never difcover, whilft the Inconveniencies attending it to the poor Clergy are fufficiently obvious. It has been faid, I know, by the Advocates for this Plan, that whenever a Clergyman appears as fuch, he will always meet with the Refpect due to his Function; and that if he is not treated with Civility, he may thank himfelf for it. But let us examine a little, and see if thefe Things are fo.

You, my Lord, I make no doubt, meet with all the Deference and Refpect which are due to your

exalted

exalted Station and Character: But I muft beg your Lordship not to attribute it to wrong Motives, or imagine that the Bows made to you in the Street are a Tribute to your Rofe and Beaver: The Incenfe, I affure your Lordship, is offered to the Mitre only. The Reverence is not paid to you as a Paftor of the Flock of Chrift; it is your temporal, and not your fpiritual Dignity, that attracts the Attention, and commands the Homage of the Multitude: It is not because you have Three thousand Souls under your Care, but that you have Three thoufand Pounds per Annum. I have read, my Lord, and do verily believe, that there was a Time, though not within our Memory, when the Clergy of all Ranks, dignified or undignified, met with fome Degree of Refpect, as fuch, even in this Kingdom; but those Days are gone and past, and so very different are the Manners of this Age, that I would venture one of my beft Sermons against your Lordship's laft new Gown and Caflock, (we Philofophers, my Lord, confider one another's Wants) that if your Lordship, when you go next to the Houfe of Peers, will step out of your Chariot at Charing-Crofs, without your purple-fringed Gloves, your Footman behind, or any other external Mark that might betray your Quality, you fhall walk from thence to Palaceyard, without once being obliged to pull off your Hat, in Return for any Compliments paid to your Cloth. Nobody, my Lord, in thefe our Days, takes any Notice of a Gown and Caflock, except perhaps a Parish Girl, a Chimney-fweeper's Boy, who falutes you as a Brother Black, or now and then a common Soldier, who does not know, (as Chaplains feldom attend) but you may belong to his Regiment. On the other Hand, it is at leaft forty to one that you meet with fome grofs Affront before you get half way: It is odds but a Hackney Coachman gives his Horfes a Lick as foon as he fees

you,

you, fplafhes you all over, and then winks to his Brother, with Smoke the Doctor's new Caffock.' Add to this, that if you do not give the Wall to every Tinker and Taylor you meet, you will be called a proud Prieft: If you happen to be fat, they will be fure to fay you have got the Church in your Belly; if you walk faft, you are in a dd Hurry for your Dinner; if you go flow, and pick your Way, it is, Mind Parfon Prim, how gin

gerly he fteps. If your Gown is draggled, a Čar, man will call out to you to hold up your Petticoats; and if you chance to turn up an Alley on any neceffary Occafion, the Witticisms upon you are innumerable: For after all, my Lord, it is a ftrange Thing, and what all the World wonders at, that Parfons fhould eat and drink, and fleep, and do a hundred vulgar Things, juft like other Men.

And now, my Lord, do you ferioufly think it would be any Advantage, or contribute to the Honour and Dignity of the Cloth, to be for ever scarfed and caflocked in the Streets of London? For my own Part, till I am forced to do otherwife, I fhall content myself with fkulking unnoticed in my Iron Grey; as, whilft I am mistaken for a Parish Clerk, a Grazier, or an Undertaker, I may at least escape without Ridicule and Abufe, which, if I appear in my Regimentals, as Things are now circumftanced, I can never expect.

But to return to my Subject, or, as we fay every Sunday, to proceed to my fecond Head, and confider

What is expected from Lecturers, and how they are generally treated when they become fo. Let us now then fuppofe that the poor Candidate, after going through all these fiery Trials, should at length be fo fortnnate as to make his Calling and Election fure; behold him chofen, licenfed, and in-pulpited, (there, my Lord, is another new Word for you,