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So when a Taylor on the Shopboard sits, Of Galligarkins to repair the Slits, Tormented by the Foe, he Vengeance vows, 25 And with his Spear, a Needle, pricks a Louse.
And now a general Túmult reigns thro' all, • To Arms, to Arms, on ev'ry Siile they bawl. So loud the Din, fo terrible the Roar, It pierc'd the Earth to Lethe's farther Shore ; 32 Shook Pluto’s Throne,--who trembled for his Friends, So skill'd, fo prompt to serve their mutual ends. Resolv'd to part them, he ascends to Light, Enters the Room, in solemn Vest bedight.
A sable Truncheon his Right-hand displays, 35 And in his Left four flaming Torches blaze; Rings on his Fingers for departed Friends; -Athwart his Breait a filken Scarf descends ; Plumes on his Head, and on his Back he bore, Like Herald's Coat, a Robe escutcheon'd o’er. 40 An Undertaker aptly he appears :Black is the conitant Dress Hell's Monarch wears.
Thus have we seen, in Pantomimick Tricks, Grim Pluto thro' the Trap-door come from Styx ; Black and all black, all dismal is his Suit, 45 And powder'd seems the Peruke's self with Soot: His Legs alone, with emblematic Aim, In scarlet-colour'd Hofe affect to Flame. • Hold, hold, (he cries,) what means this del
p'rate Fray ? ! Will ye yourselves instead of others slay? 50 • Has Beaume purg'd Autumn of each fad Complaint? • The Air in vain does Influenza taint?
Ν Ο Τ Ε. V. 52. Has Beaume purg’d Autumn of each sad
The Air in vain does Influenza taint? VOL. II.
« What! no acute, no chronical Disease, « No Fevers want your Aid? No Pleurisies, 55 • No Coughs, Consumptions, Atrophies, Catarrhs? «No foul Mithaps from Love's intemp’rate Wars? • If ye neglect Your Business, there will be, Alas! I fear, but little Work for Me,
• What's in a Name? That which we call a Wig, 60 • By any other Name would look as big: " What's in a Place? Where'er ye had Degrees, • The fame the Latin in your Recipes: & The Scrawl, illegible to vulgar Eyes, • Denotes you deeply learn'd, and wond'rous wife.
N O T E S. Beaume de Vie. A Medicine so called, which is advertised as a sovereign Remedy against autumnal Complaints.
Influenza. A Diftemper which rages in Italy, in the Summer Months. The Term has been adopted in England. V. 58. If ye neglect Your Business, there will be
Alas! I fear, but little Work for Me. The two Trades are so intimately connected, that an eminent Apothecary, whose eldest Son is brought up to the Father's Profession, has, with a prudent Forecast, bound his youngest Son Apprentice to an Undertaker.
V. 60. What's in a Name? That which we call a Wig,
By any other Name would look as big.
Romeo and JULIET.
? Think * Think on the Meed, that tickles sweet your Hand, - The glitt'ring Meed, no Doctor can withstand.
• Tho' Doctors differ ;– for the human Tripe • Tho' some the Purge prefer, and some the Pipe;
Or in th' Intestines raise the sharp Commotion, 70 • Some with a Pill, and others with a Potion ; « Tho', to apply the Flayer of the Skin, • Some hold a Virtue, others hold a Sin ;
In Antimony fome their Trust repose, . And fome in Mercury-to fave a Nose; 75 . In this one Point ye never disagree, "Ye're all unanimous-about the Fee.
• Come then, my Friends, (for now methinks Ifpy • A mild Complacency in ev'ry Eye,) • Think on the Meed, that tickles sweet your Hand, 80 The glitt'ring Meed, no Doctor can withstand.
N O T E S.
V. 72. The Flayer of the skin. A poetical Expression for Emplaftr. Epispastic.In plain English, a Blister.
V. 76. In this one Point ye never disagree,
Ye're all unanimous about the Fee.
About each Symptom how they disagree,
V. 80. Think on the Meed that tickles fweet your Hand,
The glitt'ring Meed, no Doctor can withstand.
To corroborate the Truth of this Maxim, we shall take the Liberty of setting down the two following fhort Stories, by Way of Illustration. The
! Like to the Cur in Æsop's Tale display'd,
Ye quit the Substance, and embrace the Shade. " Licentiato Licence has to kill:
Cau Socio boast a greater Pow'r, or Skill? " While ye difpute, and quarrel for a Word, • Benold! your Patients are to Health restor’d.
N O T E S. Circumstances required the Stile of the Narration to be more familiar than would suit with the Dignity of the Rest of the Poem, to have them interwoven in the body of it.
A Doctor once (110 Matter whence I woen, From Oxford, Leyden, Carn, or Aberdeen,) Was call’d to visit one with utmost Speed ; But, when he came, behold! the Patient's dead. "What! dead?'--'Yes, Doctor,--dead, but here's
"O', very well:—’tis all the same to me.'
A Doctor once (O tell it not in Bath, Left Doctor Scmebody be much in Wrath,) Soon as he faw the lick Man, fhook his Head, No Pulse--no Breath-the Man in short was dead.Now as our Doctor kept his filent Stand, The tempting Shiner in the dead Man's Hand He saw, he touch'd--and seizing, ' 'Tis for me,' He cried, and took his Farewell, -and the Fee. V. 87. Behold! your Patients are to Health, restor’d. . It is very remarkable, that the * Decrease of Ba
, Burials within the Bills of Mortality for the Year 1767, is not less than 1299, owing (it may perhaps be supposed) to the Physicians having been so much taken up with Squabbles among themselves.
See the General Bill of Mortality, set forth by the Parish Clerks, from December 15, 1766, 10 December 16, 5767.
"Ye three-tail'd Sages, cease your Disputation, • Be Friends, and social join in Consultation ; « Each shake his loaded Noddle with the other, 90 "And Brother gravely smell his Cane with Brother:'
He ended, and forthwith to Sight appears A Car triumphal in the form of Hearte: Six coal-black Steeds ' drag’d its slow Length along,' Deaf to Aight, Aight, and heedless of the Thong. 95 These with dull Pace th' infernal Monarch drew, (Laid fiat upon his Back, and hid from View,) In awful Pomp, flow, folemn, fad, and still, Thro' Warwick-Lane, and on, (down Ludgate-Hill,) To the Fleet-Market,-whose stupendous Ditch 100 A lazy Current rolls, as black as Pitch ; From whence a Passage, dismal, dark, and dank, Leads underneath to Acheron's gloomy Bank. Twelve fable Imps the Vehicle surround, And with lethiferous Nightshade strew the Ground :
NOT E S.
V. 90. Each fake his loaded Noddle with the cther,
And Brother gravely smell his Cane with Brother, An Imitation of the following Lines ; One Fool lolls his Tongue out at another, And shakes his empty Noddle at his Brother. V. 94. Six coal-black Steeds ' drag'd its flow Length
along, A needless Alexandrine ends the Song, And like a wounded Snake, drag'd its flow
• Length along V.95. Deaf to Aight, Aight, and heedless to the Thong.
Aight, Aight-an Expression in the Huynhym Language, made Use of by Coachmen, &c. in ipeaking to the Horses, fignifying, Go on.