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Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.
[Draws. Enter OLIVIA. Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee,
hold. Sir To. Madam? Oli. Will it be ever thus ? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my
sight! Be not offended, dear Cesario ! Rudesby, be gone!—I pr’ythee, gentle friend,
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and
: FÁBIAN. Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway In this uncivil and unjust extent Against thy peace. Go with me to my house ; And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby May’st smile at this : thou shalt not choose but go; Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me, He started one poor heart of mine in thee. Seb. What relish is in this ? how runs the
stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream : Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep! Oli. Nay, come, I pr’ythee: 'Would thou'dst
be ruld by me? Seb. Madam, I will. Oli.
O, say so, and so be!
3 In this uncivil and unjust extent-). Extent in law, is taken here for violence in general. JOHNSON.
Enter Maria and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr’ythee, put on this gown, and this beard ; make him believe thou art sir Topas the curate; do it quickly : I'll call sir Toby the whilst.
[Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well: nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors enter.*
Enter Sir Toby Belch and Maria.
Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is : so I, being master parson, am master parson : For what is that, but that? and is, but is?
Sir To. To him, sir Topas.
Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.
Mal. [in an inner chamber.7 Who calls there?
Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatick.
4 The competitors enter.] That is, the confederates or associates.
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady,
Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies ?
Sir To. Well said, master parson.
Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged : good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.
Clo. Fye, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy : Say'st thou, that house is dark ?
Mal. As hell, sir Topas.
Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction?
Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas ; I say to you, this house is dark.
Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog.
Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.
Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl ?
Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion ?
Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. s i t hath bay-windows -] A bay-window is the same as a bow-window ; a window in a recess, or bay.
6- constant question.] i. e. regular conversation.
Sir Nay, I onisht'st hakee not. .
Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,
Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not.
Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were ; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
[Ereunt Sir Toby and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin,
Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing. Mal. Fool.Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy. Mal. Fool, Clo. Alas, why is she so? Alal. Fool, I say ;Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha ?
Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper ; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.
Clo. Master Malvolio!
Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits ?
> Nay, I am for all waters.] Shakspeare is supposed to allude to the sense of the word water as used by jewellers, which makes a play of words with Topas.