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the ladies cartlied, and shrunk away, and secure, for though the longe for there was no such thing as fpeaks vity was indeterminate, fe confidered ing, but Floretta would find something death as far diftant, and therefore fuf, to criticise. If a girl was inore fpright- fered it not to intrude upon her plealy than her aunt, the was threatened fures. that in a little time she would be like But length of life included not perFloretta. Visits were very diligently petual health. She felt herself contipaid when Floretta was known not to nually decaying, and saw the world be at home; and no mother trusted her fading about her. The delights of her daughter to herself without a caution, early days would delight no longer, if the should meet Floretta, to leave the and however widely the extended her company as soon as she could.

view, no new pleasure could be found : With all this Floretta made sport at her friends, her enemies, her admirers, first, but in time grew weary of general her rivals, dropped one by one into the hostility. She would have been content grave, and with those who succeeded with a few friends, but no friendship them she had neither coinmunity of was durable; it was the fashion to desert joys nor strife of competition. her, and with the fashion what fidelity By this time the began to doubt will contend? She could have easily whether old age were not dangerous to amused herself in folitude, but that virtue; whether pain would not prothe thought it mean to quit the field to duce peevishness, and peevishness imtreachery and folly.

pair bene volenée. She thought that Persecution at length tired her con the spectacle of life might be too long fancy, and the implored Lilinet to rid continued, and the vices which were her of her wit : Lilinet complied, and often leen might raise less abhorrence ; walked up the mountain, but was often that resolution might be sapped by time, forced to stop and wait for her fok and let that virtue fink, which in its lower. When they came to the flinty firmest state it had not without diffifountain, Floretta filled a small cup culty supported; and that it was vain and flowly brought it to her lips, but to delay the hour which must come at the water was insupportably bitter. last, and might come at a time of She juft tasted it, and dashed it to the less preparation and greater imbecillity. ground, diluted the bitternefs at the These thoughts led her :) Lilinet, fountain of alabaster, and resolved whom she accompanied to the flinty to keep her wit with all its confe- fountain ; where, after a short combat quences.

with herself, she drank the bitter water. Being now a wit for life, she survey. They walked back to the favourite bus ed the various conditions of mankind pensive and filent : And now, faid fhe, with fuch superiority of sentiment, that accept my thanks for the last benefit the found few distinctions to be envied that Floretta can receive." Lady Lilior de fired, and therefore did not very net dropped a tear, impressed upon her foon make another visit to the fountain. lips the final kiss, and resigned her, as At length being alarmed by fickness, the resigned berself, to the course of the refolved to drink length of life from Nature. the golden cup. She returned, elated

- PO E T R Y.. The PETITION of the Cooxs* You, SIRE, who with fireb honour wear By Peter Pindar, Esgt.

your Crown, V OUR Majesty's firın friends and

Should neverbring onoursdisgraces down. 1 faithful cooks,

Dread Sir! we really deem our heads • Who in your Palace merry liv'd as our own, grigs,

With ev'ry sprig of hair that on them Have heard, with heavy hearts and springs down-cast looks,

In France, where men ļike spaniels lick That we must all be shav'd, and put the Throne, on wigs :

And count it glory to be cuffod by

See page 164 of this Magazine, + Loufiad, part II.


205 Their locks belong unto the Grand Moe America hath try'd to pull your nose narque,

French, Dutch, and Spaniards, try'd Who swallows privileges like a shark.. . to bang your back:

od 'Twould be a serious matter, we can Be pleas'd to pardon what we now ad

tell ye, vance

me Were we to buccaneer it on your belly. We dare your facred Majesty assure, " That there's a difference 'twixt us and You see the spirit of your Cooks then, France;

Sirem And long, we hope, that 'diff'rence Determin'd nobly to support their we'll endure.

locks : We know KING LEWIS wou'd, with And Thould your guards be order'd out power so dread,

to fire, Not only cut the hair off, but the bead. Their guns may be oppos'd by spits Oh! tell us, sir, in loyalty fo true,

and crocks: What dire designing raggamuffins

ins Knives, forks, and spoons, may fly, with

plates a store, À faid, That we, your Cooks, are such a nasty

anov And all the thunder of the kitchen roar, crew,

Nat. Gardner, Yeoman of the mouth, Great sir! as to have crawlers in our declares head?

· He'll join the standard of your ia-> My Liege, you can't find one thro' all jur'd Cooks our houfe

Each fcullion, turnbroche, for redress Not if you'd give a guinea for a louse. prepares,

And puts on very formidable looks: ; What creature 'twas you found upon Your women too-imprimis, Mrs Dyer, your plate

Whose eggs are good as ever felt a fire: We know not--if a louse, it was not ours

Next Sweeper-general Bickley, Mrs. To Shave each Cook's poor unoffending Mary, pate,

With that fam'd bell-ringer call's Betrays too much of arbitrary pow'rs Mrs Loman, The act humanity and justice socks Ann Spencer, guardian of the Neces. Let him who owns the crawler lose his fary locks.

That is to say, the necessary woman But grant upon your plate this touse fo

are this house for All these, an't please you, Sir, fo fierce, dread,

determine How can you say, Sir, it belongs to

to To join us in the cause of hair and yer

mine. Maggots are found in many a princely There's Mistress Stewart-Mr Richard

head; . And if a maggot; why then not a who find your facred Majestyin linen louse?

Are ready to support us in our frayNay, grant the fact with horror fhould You can't conceive the passion they you fhrink?

have been inIt could not eat your Majesty, we think. They swear fo much your scheme of Hunger, my Liege, hath oft been felt

folio fhaving hurts, by Kings,

" You Than't have pocket-handkerchiefs As well as people of inferior fate

or thirts. Quarrels with Cooks are therefore dan. The grocers, Clarke and Tailor, curse gerous things

the scheme, We cannot answer for your stomach's

ch's And say whate'er we do, the world

i won't blame uswe frankly mult de. So Gomber says, who gives you milk and clare

. cream You feed on more substantial {tuff than

And thus your old friend, Mr Lewis. air.

Ramus. My Liege, a Universe hath been your We think your sacred Majefty would

mutter The times have look'd most miser. At loss of sugar, milk, and cream, and ably black




- fate :


our liz


Suppose, an't please you, Sir, that Mif- O KING'! our wives are in the kit trefs Kautton

chen, roaring, And Mistress Maisfield, fierce as ty- All ready in rebellion ; ready now to ger cats;

rise One Overteer of all the beef and mutton. They mock our humble method of ima i

The other Lady President of fpraisa ploring, Suppole in opposition to your wish,

And bid us guard against a wig-fur: Tbis locks away the felh; and that the prise: fith

« rours is the hair (they cry) th' AlSoppofe John Clarke refuse supplies of 16 And not a King in Christendom should

inighty gave ye, • muftard,'

have ye.So necessary to your beef and bacon? Will Roberts all the apple-pie and custard, Ló! on ch' event tlie world impatient Your Majesty would growl, or we're looks, miftakeo

And thinks the joke is carried much Suppose that Wells, a stubborn temper, too far ftudying,

Then pray; Sir, listen to your faithful Should take the pļums off from the Sun Cooks, day pudding?

Nor in the Palace breed a civil war: Suppose that Rainsforth with our corps

Loud roars our band, and, obftinate as

... pigs, unites! · We mean the man who all the tallow. Cry, Locks and Liberty, and damx

the Wigs." bandles Suppofe he daring locks up all the

Flag locks up and the lights How could your Majesty contrive for Än Apologetic Ode. By the fame.

candles? You'd Be (excuse the freedom of re. W ORLD! stop thy mouth-I am rea mark)

foly'd to rhyme Like fomic Administrations in the dark. I cannot throw away a vein fublime. We dare affure you that our grief is If I may take the liberty to brag;

I cannot; like the fellow in the Bible; great. And oft indeed our feelings it enrages,

Venting upon his master a rank libel,

Conceal my talent in a rag:
To see your sacred Majesty beset
By such a graceless gang of idle pages

Ben Kings must continue ftill to be my And, with submission to your judgmento

ti themeSire,

· Eternally of Kings I dream. We think ald Madam SwĖLLENBERG & As beggars ev'ry night, we must fup lyar.

pose, Suppose, GREAT SI Ř, that by your cru- Dream of their vermin, in their beds; el fiat,

Because, as ev'ry body knows; The barbers should attack our hum. Such things are always running in ble head,

their heads. . ..: · · · · And that we should not chuse to breed a riot,

Yet some approach with apoftolic face? Recause we might not wish to lose And cry, “O PETER, what a want of our bread;

grace Say, would the triumph o'er each harm

* Thus in thy rhyme to roaft à · lels Cook

King !" Make GEORGE THE THIRD like ALEX: I roaft a King ! by heav'ns 'tis not i

facta ANDER look? :

w I scorn such wicked and difoyal act Dread Sir, reflect on JOHNNY WIL kes's *

Who dares allert it, fay sa Nand'rous fatë;

thing. · · · · · · ... : Supported chiefly by a paultry rabble WILKES bade defiance to your frowns The Bible warrants me to speak the and state,

truth And got the better in that famous Nor mealy-mouth'd my tongue in fisquabble :

lence keep: Poor was the victory you wilh'd to win, Did not good NATHAN tell that buckith That set the mouth of EUROPE on the youth,

DÁVID the King, that he hole sheep?




207 Stole poorURIAH'slittlefay'rite lamb “ Strange I should never of a dumpling An ewe it chanc'd to be, and not a dream - rain

But, Goody, tell me where, where; For had it been a ram, the royal glut- . where's the seam?" ton

« Sir, there's no seam (quoth she ;) I Had never meddled with URIAH'S never knew mutton. o . ..

"' That folks did apple dumplings What modern Courtier, pray, hath got “No! (cried the Ataring Monarch with

the face To say to Majesty

a grin)

" O King, " How, how the devil got the apple " At such a time, in such a place, 4 ., une, m a piace

in?" " You did a very foolish thing?" What Courtier, not a foe to his own Reader, thou likeft not my tale-look'st glory,

blue Would publish of his King this simple Thou art a Courtier,--roarest“ Lies, story?

Lies, Lies!”

: Do, for a moment, stop thy criesThe APPLE DUMPLINGS and a KING. I tell thee, roaring infidel, 'tis true.. Once on a time, a Monarch, tir’d with Why should it not be true? The greatest hooping,

men 21 Whipping, and spurring, May ak a foolish question now and Happy in worrying

then . A poor defenceless, harmless buck, This is the language of all ages:

The horse and rider wet as muck, . Folly lays many a trap-we can't efFrom his high consequence and wisdom cape it :.

Nemo (rays foine one) omnibus horis Enter'd, through curiosity, a cot,

sapit : Where sat a poor old woman and her pot. Then why not Kings like me and

..p ensages: The wrinki'd. blear-ey'd, good old

granny, ***** In this fame cot illum'd by many a.. ; cranny,

A Story. By the famei Had finish'd apple dumplings for her i n VID, fiveet story-tellêr of old

pot: In tempting row the naked dumplings Unluckily transported for his rhymnes,

. times, lay, When, lö'! the Monarch, in his usual Address’d, his book before he bade it

walk '* "

** way, t Like lightning looke. " What's this? Therefore my Worship, and my Ode. what's this? what? what?

In imitation of such classic mode,

, Must, like two Indian nations, have a Then taking up a dumpling in his hand, Talk. His eyes with admiration did expand *** Dear Ode! whose verse the true subAnd oft did Majesty the dumpling lime affords, grapple :

* Go, visit Kings, Queens, Parasites,, 56 'Tis monstrous, monstrous hard in and Lords ; deed, he cried :

" And if thy modeft beauties they adore, « What makes it, pray, so hard?"-The- « Inform them, they fall speedily Dame replied,

· have more." Low curtsying, “ Please your Ma. But possibly a mighty King may faye jetty, the apple."

« Ode! Ode !What? What? I hate

your rhyme haranguing ; 166 Very aftonishing indeed !-trange “I'd rather hear a jackass bray:

e “I never knew a poet worth the hang, Turning the dumpling round, rejoin’d**

ing. the King. 'Tis most extraordinary then, all this "I hate, abhor them but I'II clip their is

wings ; " It beats Pinetti's conjuring all to "I'II teach the faucy knaves to laugh pieces

at Kings : VOL. VI. No 33.

56 Yes,

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“ Yes, yes, the rhyming rogues their All hands aloft, with one tremendous fongs shall rue,

s roar, “ A ragged, bold-fac'd, ballad-singing Soon did they make him wish himself crew.

.. on shore ; “ Yes, yes, the poets Thall my pow'r His head and ears most handsomely confess;

- they dous'

d o u I'll maul that spawning devil call'd Just like a porpus, with one general

the Press.” If furious thus exclaim a King of glory, The waves fo tumbled the poor King Tell him, o gentle Muse, this pithy about e ftory :

No Anabaptift e'er was half so fous’d. a Canute was by his nobles taught to At length to land he crawl'd, a half

fancy, on Thar by a kind of royal necromancy

drown'd thing, .

Indeed more like a crab than like a “ He, had the pow'r Old Ocean to

King, . controul

And found. his Courtiers making rueu Down rush'd the Royal Dane upon

ful faces : the Strand,

m. But what said Canute to the Lords and " And issued, like a Solomon, com

“ Poor soul!!!

Who hail'á 'him from the water, on his

entry, 4 Go back, ye waves, you bluftring All trembling for their lives or plarogues, quoth he,

ces ? Touch not your Lord and Master, SEA,

“ My Lords and Gentlemen, by your “ For, by my pow'r almighty, if you advice, •do

" I've had with Mr Sea a pretty " Then staring vengeance-out he held bustle; a stick,

“ My treatment from my foe not over 66 Vowing to drive Old Ocean to Old n ice, Nick,

“ Just made a jest for ev'ry shrimp « Should he ev'n wet the latchet of, and muscle : his shoe.”

.“ A pretty trick for one of my domi. The Sea retird-the Monarch fierce · nion ! rush'd on,

“ My Lords, I thank you for your great And look'd as if he'd drive him from opinion.

the land But SEA not caring to be put upon,. " You'll tell me, p'rhaps, I've only loft Made for a moment a bold stand:

one game,

- “ Ånd bid me. try another--for the Not only make a stand did Mr OCEAN,

rubberBut to his honest waves he made a mo, "6 Permit me to inform you all with tion,

w e' 'fhame, · And bid them give the King a hearty 66 That' you're a set of Knaves, and . trimming :

en I'm a Lubber.". . The orders seem'd a deal the waves to .

tickle, For foon they put his Majesty in pickle ; And fet his Royalties, like gecse, a


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