reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he kill'd and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he kill'd? for, indeed, I promis'd to eat all of his killing. Leon. Faith, niece, you tax signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Mess. He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, Balthazar, and Don John. Pedro. Good signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to 5 avoid cost, and you encounter it. Leon. Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but, when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his Beat. You had musty victual, and he hath holp 10 leave. to eat it: he's a very valiant trencher-man, he hath an excellent stomach. Mess. And a good soldier too, lady. Beat. And a good soldier to a lady:-But what| is he to a lord? Mess. A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuff'd with all honourable virtues. Beat. It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuff'd man: but for the stufling,-well, we are all mortal. Leon. You must not, sir, mistake my niece; there is a kind of merry war betwixt signior Benedick and her: they never meet, but there's a skirmish of wit between them. 15 8 Pedro. You embrace your charge too willingly. Leon. Her mother hath many times told me so. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself:-Be happy, lady! for you 20are like an honourable father. Beat. Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last 25 conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and| now is the whole man govern'd with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, 30 to be known a reasonable creature.-Who is his companion now he hath every month a new sworn brother. Bene. If signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. Beat. I wonder, that you will still be talking, signior Benedick; nobody marks you. Bene. What, my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living? Beat. Is it possible, disdain should die, while she hath such meet food to feed it, as signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence. Bene. Then is Courtesy a turn-coat :-But it is certain, I am lov'd of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had 35 not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. Beat. No: an he were, I would burn my study. 40 But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer' now, that will make a voyage with him to the devil? Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. Beat. O lord! he will hang upon him like a Leon. You'll ne'er run mad, niece. Mess. Don Pedro is approach'd. 2 Beat. A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God, and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. Bene. God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratch'd face. Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an 45'twere such a face as yours were. 50 Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. Beut. A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast of yours. Bene. I would, my horse had the speed of your tongue; and so good a continuer: But keep your way o' God's name; I have done. Beat. You always end with a jade's trick; I know you of old. Pedro. This is the sum of all: Leonato,-signior 55 Claudio, and signior Benedick,-my dear friend The bird-bolt is a short thick arrow without point, and spreading at the extremity so much, as to leave a flat surface, about the breadth of a shilling. They are used at present to kill rooks with, and are shot from a cross-bow. * That is, "he will be even with, or a match for, you." 'The five senses probably gave rise to the idea of a man's having five wits. Not religious profession, but profession of friendship. "A block is the mould on which a hat is formed. To be in a man's books, originally meant to be in the list of his retainers. That is, no young, cholerick, quarrelsome fellow. • Charge here signifies incumbrance. Leonate Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him, we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays, some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be 5 forsworn.-Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, i owe you all duty. John. I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. Leon. Please it your grace lead on? Bene. I noted her not; but I look'd on her. Bene. You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance. He is in love. With who?-now that is your grace's part;-mark, how short his answer -With Hero, Leonato's short daughter. Claud. If this were so, so were it uttered. Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should 10 be so. 15 Bene. Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment? or would you have me speak after my custom, as 20 being a professed tyrant to their sex? [ment. Claud. No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgBene. Why, i'faith, methinks she is too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise; only this commendation 25 I can afford her; that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. Claud. Thou think'st, I am in sport; I pray thee, tell me truly how thou lik'st her. Bene. Would you buy her, that you enquire after her? Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel? 30 Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? or do you play the flout-35 ing Jack; to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song? Claud. In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that I ever looked on. IS: Claud. If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise. Pedro. Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very well worthy. Claud. You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought. Claud. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. Bene. And by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I speak mine. Claud. That I love her, I feel. Pedro. That she is worthy, I know. Bene. That I neither feel how she should be lov'd, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the stake. Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretick in the despight of beauty. Claud. And never could maintain his part, but in the force of his will. Bene. That a woman conceiv'd me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks; but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead', or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick 3, all women shall pardon me: Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, (for the which I may go the finer) I will live a batchelor. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with 40 love. Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possess'd with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope, you have no intent 45 to turn husband; have you? Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. Bene. Is't come to this, i' faith? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear his cap with sus-50 picion? Shall I never see a batchelor of threescore again? Go to, i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is return'd to seek you. Re-enter Don Pedro. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you follow'd not to Leonato's? Bene. I would, your grace would constrain me to tell. Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance. Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love: prove, that ever I lose more blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a balladmaker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid. Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapp'd on the shoulder, and call'd Adam *. Pedro. Well, as time shall try: In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke. Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the 55 sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write, Here is good horse to hire, let them signify undermy sign,-Here you maysee Benedick the marry'dman. Claud. If this should ever happen, thou would'st be horn-mad. 60 A recheat is a particular lesson upon the horn, to call dogs back from the scent. 2 Bugle-horn. 'Belt or girdle. *This probably alludes to one Adam Bell, who at that time of day was of reputation for his skill at the bow. Pedro. Pedro. Nay, if Cupid hath not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. Bene. I look for an earthquake too then. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the mean time, good signior Benedick,|5 repair to Leonato's; commend me to him, and tell him, I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made great preparation. Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you Claud. To the tuition of God; from my house, (if I had it,) Pedro. The sixth of July; your loving friend, Benedick. [how, Pedro. My love is thine to teach; teach it but And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn Any hard lesson that may do thee good. Claud. Hath Leonato any son, my lord? Pedra. No child but Hero, she's his only heir: Dost thou affect her, Claudio? Claud. O my lord, When you went onward on this ended action, Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover presently, Claud. How sweetly do you minister to love, The fairest grant is the necessity: I know, we shall have revelling to-night; [Excunt. Guards were ornamental laces or borders. That is, flatter. A Room in Leonato's House. Enter Leonato and Antonio. Leon. How now, brother? Where is my cousin, your son? Hath he provided this musick? Ant He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell you news that you yet dream'd not of. Leon. Are they good? Ant. As the event stamps them; but they have a good cover, they show well outward. The prince and Count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in my orchard, were thus overheard by a man of mine: The prince discover'd to Claudio, that he lov'd my niece your daughter, and meant to acknowledge this evening in a dance; and, if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top, and instantly break with you of it. Leon. Hath the fellow any wit that told you this? Ant. A good sharp fellow; I will send for him, and question him yourself. lit Leon. No, no; we will hold it as a dream, till appear itself:-but I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an 25 answer, if peradventure this be true: Go you, and tell her ofit.[Severalservants cross the stage here.} Cousin, you know what you have to do.-O, I cry you mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your skill:-Good cousin, have a care 30this busy time. [Excun't. 35 40 SCENE III. Another Apartment in Leonato's House. Enter Don John and Conrade. Con. What the good-jer, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad? John. There is no measure in the occasion that breeds it, therefore the sadness is without limit. Con. You should hear reason. John. And when I have heard it, what blessing bringeth it? Con. If not a present remedy, yet a patient sufferance. John. I wonder, that thou being (as thou say'st 45 thou art) born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man's leisure: 50 sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man's business; laugh when I am merry, and claw 3 no man in his humour. Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show of this, till you may do it without controulment. 55 You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take root, but by the fair weather that you make yourself; it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge, than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdain'd of all, than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be deny'd but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle, and infranchised with a clog; therefore, I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the mean time,] let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. 5 Con. Can you make no use of your discontent? John. I make all use of it, for I use it only.-10 Who comes here? what news, Borachio? Enter Borachio. Bora. I came yonder from a great supper; the prince, your brother, is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an 15 intended marriage. John. Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool, that betroths himself to unquietness? Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand. John. A proper squire! and who, and who? which way Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato. John. A very forward March-chick! How come you to know this? Bora. Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoaking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad' conference:whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed upon, that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to count Claudio. John. Come, come, come, let us thither; this may prove food to my displeasure: that young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow; if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way: You are both sure 2, and will assist me? Con. To the death, my lord. John. Let us to the great supper; their cheer is the greater, that I am subdu'd: Would the cook 20 were of my mind!—Shall we go prove what's to be done? Boru. We'll wait upon your lordship. [Exeunt. ACT II. 135 Beat. Howtartly that gentleman looks! I never 40 can see him, but I am heart-burn'd an hour after. Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition. Beat. He were an excellent man, that were made just in the midway between him and Benedick: the one is too like an image, and says no-45 thing; and the other, too like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling. Leon. Then half signior Benedick's tongue in count John's mouth, and half count John's melancholy in signior Benedick's face,— Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, Such a man would win any woman in the world,—if he could get her good will. Leon. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be'st so shrewd of thy tongue. Ant. In faith, she's too curst. 50 55 Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns. Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing, I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening: Lord! I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face; I had rather lie in woollen. Leon. You may light upon a husband, that hath no beard. Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel, and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard, is more than a youth; and he that hath no beard, is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth, is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: Therefore I will even take six-pence in earnest of the bear-herd, and lead his apes into hell. Leon. Well then, go you into hell? Beat. No; but to the gate: and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say, Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you maids; so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shews me where the batchelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long. Ant. Well, niece, I trust, you will be rul'd by your father. [To Hero. Beat. Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty tomake a curtsy, and say, Father, as it please you:--but yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fel2 i, e. To be depended on. Beat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's sending that way: for it is said God 60 sends a curst cow short horns; but to a cow teo curst he sends none. 1 i. e. Serious. low, low, or else make another curtsy, and say, Father, as it please me. Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband. Beat. Not till God make men of some other 5 metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be over-master'd with a piece of valiant dust? to make account of her life to a clod of wayward marle? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my my brethren, and truly, I hold it a sin to match in 10 my kindred. Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you: ifl the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer. Beat. The fault will be in the musick, cousin, 15 if you be not woo'd in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him, there is measure in every thing, and so dance out the answer. For hear me, Hero: wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque-20 pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly modest, as a measure full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance, and, with his bad legs, falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, 25 'till he sink into his grave. Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by day-light. Leon. The revellers are entering; brother, make 30 good room. Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, Balthazar; Don John, Borachio, Margaret, Ursula, and others, mask’d. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your 35 friend? Hero. So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially, when I walk away. Pedro. With me in your company? Urs. I know you well enough: you are signior Antonio. Ant. At a word, I am not. Urs. I know you by the wagling of your head. Urs. You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man. Here's his dry hand2 up and down; you are he, you are he. Ant. At a word, I am not. Urs. Come, come; do you think, I do not know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an end. Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so? Beat. Nor will you tell me who you are? Beat. That I was disdainful-and that I had my Beat. I am sure, you know him well enough, Beat. Did he never make you laugh? Beat. Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: none but libertines delight in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villainy 3; for he both pleaseth men, and angers them, and then they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure, he is in the fleet; I would he had boarded me. Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say. Beat. Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which, peradventure, not mark'd, or not laugh'd at, strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a partridge-wing say'd, for the fool 40 will eat no supper that night. We must follow the leaders. [Musick within. Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; within the 45 house is Jove. Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'd. Marg. So would not I, for your own sake; for 50 I have many ill qualities. Bene. Which is one? Marg. I say my prayers aloud. Bene. I love you the better; the hearers may cry amen. Marg. God match me with a good dancer! Marg. And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done!-Auswer, clerk. Balth No more words; the clerk is answer' Bene. In every good thing. Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning. Manent John, Borachio, and Claudio. John. Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it: The ladies follow her, and but one visor remains. Bora. And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing *. John. Are you not signior Benedick? John. Signior, you are very near my brother in 55 his love: he is enamour'd on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him from her, she is no equal for his birth; you may do the part of an honest man in it. Claud. How know you he loves her? 2 A dry hand was in those Important here, as in many other places, means importunate. times considered as the sign of a cold constitution. 3 By which she means his malice and impiety. By his impious jests, she insinuates, he pleased libertines; and by his devising slanders of them, he angered them. * i. e. His carriage, his demeanour. Bora. |