« AnteriorContinuar »
A. E. Brennan and Co., but as their business is sufficiently brisk already they decline to use it." This anecdote in its progress has been related of most large houses in or about New York and Boston, but Brennan was the man who gave rise to it. Quite as business-like, and rather more cynical, was the Ohio tradesman who, in large print, gave the following forth: "Ministers of the Gospel supplied with goods at cost, if they agree to mention the fact to their congregations." And though the next is a purely private communication, the author of it was evidently a born advertiser: "If the party who took a fancy to my overcoat was influenced by the inclemency of the weather, all right; but if by commercial considerations, I am ready to negotiate for its return." In an advertisement headed "Full-dress funeral," which appears in .a Philadelphia paper, is the intimation that "all the gentlemen friends of the late Mr Smith desirous of participating in the funeral will appear in full-dress suit and white gloves at Happy Hall, at nine o'clock a.m. on Friday morning, Jan. 29, and proceed from thence in a body to the house of the deceased." This peculiarity of a.m. in the morning reminds us of the announcement on a bridge at Denver, Colorado, which states that "no vehicle drawn by more than one animal is allowed to cross this bridge in opposite directions at the same time ; " though our intention, while touching on funerals, was to give the subjoined letter from an enterprising undertaker in Illinois to a sick man: "Dear sir, having positive proof that you are rapidly approaching Death's gate, I have, therefore, thought it not imprudent to call your attention to the inclosed advertisement of my abundant stock of ready-made coffins, and desire to make the suggestion that you signify to your friends a wish for the purchase of your burial outfit at my establishment." And thereon followed an elaborate list of the essentials to a first-class funeral, the reader having nothing to do but to supply the corpse. Apropos of supply, the
following from a Chicago confectioner's notice is worthy of remark: "Families supplied by the quart or gallon." This ostensibly refers to olives, but to us it seems very suggestive of olive branches. Occasionally, in running through the papers, one is surprised at the appetite if a lady who wants "to take a gentleman for breakfast and tea;" at the single-mindedness of a boarding-house keeper who advertises that "single gentlemen are furnished with pleasant rooms, also one or two gentlemen with wives;" or the boldness of a merchant who, in a free country, openly gives notice that there is "wanted— a woman to sell on commission."
We have already referred to the " editorials" which have a more or less remote connection with advertisements, and now select two examples with which to illustrate our meaning. They are of very opposite characters, and will serve to give both extremes, between which all sorts of puffs may find classification. The first is very common. Says the editor of a Yankee paper :—
A correspondent wants to know what kind of a broom the young lady in the novel used when she swept back the ringlets from her classic brow. We don't know, and shouldn't answer if we did. We only undertake to answer queries of a practical and useful character. If our correspondent, who we presume is a gentleman, iad asked who was the best and most popular hatter in the city, we would have promptly and unhesitatingly answered, James H. Chard of Broadwalk.
This tradesman had evidently supplied, or promised to supply, a new covering for the editorial head, with perhaps a little light refreshment as well. The other specimen is far more deliberate, and at the same time more respectable. It is from a Buffalo paper of half-a-dozen years back, and is not at all unlike the very earliest advertisement recommendations of our own country :—
We are assured that the firm of Eastman & Kendall, 65, Hanover Street, Boston, Mass., advertised in our columns, is trustworthy and reliable. For 10 cents they send a patent pen fountain and a check describing an article to be sold for $1. Their club system of selling goods is becoming quite popular, particularly with the ladies. It is worthy of a trial.
Two specimens of editorial personal advertisements will doubtless suffice. One was published by an Illinois journalist on assuming the duties of chief of the staff, and it gives a very good idea of the plan upon which he intended to "run " his paper. It says :—
Sensational, distressing details of revolting murders and shocking suicides respectfully solicited. Bible class presentations and ministerial donation parties will be "done" with promptness and despatch. Keno banks and their operations made a speciality. Accurate reports of Sunday School anniversaries guaranteed. The local editor will cheerfully walk 17 miles after Sunday school to see and report a prize fight Funerals and all other melancholy occasions written up in a manner to challenge admiration. Horse races reported in the highest style of the reportorial art. Domestic broils and conjugal felicities sought for with untiring avidity. Police court proceedings and sermons reported in a manner well calculated to astonish the prisoner, magistrate, and preacher.
The other is the opposite of the foregoing, and was penned under very different circumstances. It is from a Keithsburg journal, and first saw the light under the head reserved for notices of deaths:—
About two and a-half years ago we took possession of this paper. It was then in the very act of pegging out, having neither friends, money, nor credit. We tried to breathe into it the breath of life; we put into it all our own money and everybody else's we could get hold of; but it was no go; either the people of Keithsburg don't appreciate our efforts, or we don't know how to run a paper. We went into the business with confidence, determined to run it or burst. We have busted. During our connection with the Observer we have made some friends and numerous enemies. The former will have our gratitude while life lasts. The latter are affectionately requested to go to the deuce.
Occasionally these advertising notices take a widely different form, and refer to the benefits which are to be found from a use of the columns in which they appear. Take the following as an instance of the kind of work we mean :—
The New York Daily News has the largest circulation of any daily paper published in the United States, and, with the exception of one in England and one in France, the largest in the world. We will contract for advertisements in the News upon the following terms: Three (3) cents per line for every (10) ten thousand of our circulation. Every bill when presented to be accompanied with the sworn affidavit of the pressman who prints the paper, the clerk who delivers the paper, and the cashier who receives the money. No paper to be counted as circulation except those that are actually sold and paid for. Believing this to be the most fair and equitable plan ever offered to advertisers, we make the proposition.
This is a fair and equitable idea which none but the proprietors of rival journals could object to. And that rivals do have their say about each other's advertisements, the following article, which is called "Ensnaring the Simple," and which at one stroke deals two blows—one in the journalistic and the other in the electioneering interest—will show. It is from a New York daily, and runs thus: "The Sunday Mercury is published by Cauldwell & Whitney, Editors and Proprietors. Its senior editor is William Cauldwell, late Senator from the IXth District, comprising Westchester, Putnam, and Rockland Counties, and now the Democratic candidate for re-election. From yesterday's issue of that Sunday Mercury, we copy the following advertisements, omitting only the addresses of the respective advertisers:—
TWO YOUNG MEN, residents of New-York, of some means, are desirous of forming the acquaintance of two ladies between the ages of sixf.een and twenty-two, with a view to sociability and quiet enjoyment. To those that are worthy, pecuniary assistance will be willingly rendered, if necessary. Those employed in some light
occupation preferred. Address, appointing interview, and ,
AGENTLEMAN, aged twenty-five, would be pleased to form the acquaintance of a young lady, or widow, under twenty-five years of age. Must be educated, and of good reputation. One engaged during the day preferred. A desirable party will meet with a permanent friend. Disreputable parties need not answer this. Address in confidence for ten days, , Mercury office.
AGENTLEMAN of means, alone in this city, desires the acquaintance of a respectable, genteel young lady of refinement, who is, like himself, friendless and alone; the most honorable secrecy
observed. Address, with full particulars, , Mercury office, 128
AFRENCH GENTLEMAN, newly arrived in this country and lonely, wishes to form the acquaintance of a lady who could prove as true a friend to him as he would be to her. Address, in confidence, as discretion will be absolute, , Mercury office.
AYOUNG GENTLEMAN would like to make the acquaintance of an affectionate and sociable young lady who would appreciate
a true friend ; one residing in Brooklyn preferred. Address , box
3, 761 New-York P.O.
A GENTLEMAN OF MEANS wishes to make the acquaintance of a young lady of sixteen to eighteen years (blonde preferred); one who would appreciate a companion and friend may find one by addressing , Mercury office.
A YOUNG WIDOW would like to make the acquaintance of an elderly gentleman of means, who would be willing to assist her,
in return for true friendship. No triflers need answer. Address ,
A GENTLEMAN, thirty years of age, with some leisure time at his disposal, would like the acquaintance of a handsome young lady,
resident of Brooklyn. Address, stating age and other particulars, ,
A KIND, ELDERLY GENTLEMAN, a stranger, wishes to enjoy the society of an agreeable young lady. Address , Mercury