O wha will tell me how to ca't?

The rantin dog, the daddie o't.

When I mount the creepie-chair,*
Wha will sit beside me there?
Gie me Rob, I'll seek nae mair,
The rantin dog, the daddie o't.

Wha will crack † to me my lane?
Wha will mak me fidgin fain?‡
Wha will kiss me o'er again?

The rantin dog, the daddie o't.

[The poet attached the following note to this production in the copy of the "Museum" which belonged to his friend Mr Riddell :-"I composed this song pretty early in life, and sent it to a young girl, a particular acquaintance of mine, who was at that time under a cloud."]

HERE'S HIS HEALTH IN WATER.

Tune-"The Job of Journey-work."

ALTHO' my back be at the wa',
And tho' he be the fautor; §
Altho' my back be at the wa',

Yet, here's his health in water.
O wae gae by his wanton sides,
Sae brawlie's he could flatter;
Till for his sake I'm slighted sair,
And dree || the kintra clatter :
But tho' my back be at the wa',

Yet here's his health in water!

[Stenhouse, in his note to this song, states that Burns threw it off in jocular allusion to his own and Jean Armour's awkward predicament before their marriage.]

* the penance-stool in the church.
I eagerly fond.

† converse.

§ defaulter.

I dread.

ADDRESS TO THE UNCO GUID,

OR THE RIGIDLY RIGHTEOUS.

My Son, these maxims make a rule,
An' lump them ay thegither;
The Rigid Righteous is a fool,

The Rigid Wise anither:

The cleanest corn that e'er was dight
May hae some pyles o' caff in;

So ne'er a fellow-creature slight

For random fits o' daffin.

SOLOMON.-Eccles. ch. vii. verse 16.

O YE wha are sae guid yoursel,

Sae pious and sae holy,

Ye've nought to do but mark and tell
Your neibours' fauts and folly!
Whase life is like a weel-gaun mill,
Supplied wi' store o' water;
The heapèt happer's ebbing still,
An' still the clap plays clatter.

Hear me, ye venerable core,

As counsel for poor mortals
That frequent pass douce Wisdom's door
For glakit Folly's portals :

I, for their thoughtless, careless sakes,
Would here propone defences—
Their donsie + tricks, their black mistakes,
Their failings and mischances.

Ye see your state wi' theirs compared,
And shudder at the niffer ;

But cast a moment's fair regard,

What maks the mighty differ?

* thoughtless.

† unlucky.

: exchange.

Discount what scant occasion gave,

That purity ye pride in ;

And (what's aft mair than a' the lave) *
Your better art o' hidin.

Think, when your castigated pulse
Gies now and then a wallop!
What ragings must his veins convulse,
That still eternal gallop!

Wi' wind and tide fair i' your tail,

Right on ye scud your sea-way;
But in the teeth o' baith to sail,
It maks an unco lee-way.

See Social Life and Glee sit down,
All joyous and unthinking,
Till, quite transmugrify'd, they're grown
Debauchery and Drinking:

O would they stay to calculate
Th' eternal consequences;

Or your more dreaded hell to state,
Damnation of expenses !

Ye high, exalted, virtuous dames,
Tied up in godly laces,

Before ye gie poor Frailty names,
Suppose a change o' cases;
A dear-lov'd lad, convenience snug,
A treach❜rous inclination;
But, let me whisper i' your lug,

Ye're aiblins + nae temptation.

Then gently scan your brother man,
Still gentler sister woman;

Tho' they may gang a kennin ‡ wrang,
To step aside is human :

* others.

† perhaps.

+ admittedly.

One point must still be greatly dark,

The moving Why they do it ;
And just as lamely can ye mark,
How far perhaps they rue it.

Who made the heart, 'tis He alone
Decidedly can try us;

He knows each chord, its various tone,
Each spring, its various bias :
Then at the balance let's be mute,

We never can adjust it ;

What's done we partly may compute,

But know not what's resisted.

[This is pre-eminently one of those poems whose lines become "mottoes of the heart." In all likelihood, the period in Burns' life we have now reached was the date of its composition: yet it is rather remarkable that he withheld it from publication in his Kilmarnock edition of that year.]

THE INVENTORY;

IN ANSWER TO A MANDATE BY THE SURVEYOR
OF THE TAXES.

SIR, as your mandate did request,

I send you here a faithfu' list,

O' gudes an' gear, * an' a' my graith, t
To which I'm clear to gi'e my aith.

Imprimis, then, for carriage cattle,
I hae four brutes o' gallant mettle,
As ever drew before a pettle. ‡
My hand-afore's§ a guid auld ‘has been,'
An' wight an' wilfu' a' his days been :
My hand-ahin's || a weel gaun fillie,

* substantials of any kind.

t accoutrements.

§ fore-horse on the left-hand in the plough.-R. B. hindmost on the left-hand in the plough.-R. B.

✰ plough-stick.

That aft has borne me hame frae Killie,
An' your
auld borough mony a time,
In days when riding was nae crime.
But ance, when in my wooing pride
I, like a blockhead, boost † to ride,
The wilfu' creature sae I pat to,
(L-d pardon a' my sins, an' that too!)
I play'd my fillie sic a shavie,
She's a' bedevil'd wi' the spavie.
My furr-ahin's ‡ a wordy beast,
As e'er in tug or tow was traced.
The fourth's a Highland Donald hastie,
A d-n'd red-wud § Kilburnie blastie !
Foreby a cowt,|| o' cowts the wale,
As ever ran before a tail :

Gin he be spar'd to be a beast,
He'll draw me fifteen pund at least.
Wheel-carriages I ha'e but few,
Three carts, an' twa are feckly ¶ new;
An auld wheelbarrow, mair for token,
Ae leg an' baith the trams are broken;
I made a poker o' the spin'le,
An' my auld mither brunt the trin'le.**

For men, I've three mischievous boys,
Run-deils for ranting an' for noise;
A gaudsman1 ane, a thrasher t' other:
Wee Davock hauds the nowttt in fother.
I rule them as I ought, discreetly,
An' aften labour them completely;

¶ hardly.

hindmost-horse on the right-hand in the plough.—R. B.

** wheel.

tt cattle.

1 A driver of the plough team: the name is derived from the practice of using a gaud or prick in some countries where oxen are yoked to the plough.