An' ay on Sundays duly, nightly,

I on the "Questions" targe* them tightly;
Till, faith! wee Davock's grown sae gleg,†
Tho' scarcely langer than your leg,
He'll screed & you aff Effectual Calling, §
As fast as ony in the dwalling.

I've nane in female servan' station,
(L―d keep me ay frae a' temptation !)
I hae nae wife—and that my bliss is,
An' ye have laid nae tax on misses;
An' then, if kirk folks dinna clutch me,
I ken the deevils darena touch me.
Wi' weans I'm mair than weel contented,
Heav'n sent me ane mair than I wanted:
My sonsie,|| smirking, dear-bought Bess,
She stares the daddy in her face,
Enough of ought ye like but grace:
But her, my bonie, sweet wee lady,
I've paid enough for her already;
An' gin ye tax her or her mither,
By the L-d, ye'se get them a' thegither!

And now, remember, Mr Aiken,
Nae kind of licence out I'm takin :
Frae this time forth, I do declare
I'se ne'er ride horse nor hizzie mair;
Thro' dirt and dub for life I'll paidle,¶
Ere I sae dear pay for a saddle;
My travel a', on foot I'll shank it,
I've sturdy bearers, Gude be thankit!
The kirk and you may tak' you that,
It puts but little in your pat;

cross-question.

§ a prominent question and answer in the church catechism.

plump.

¶ pick my steps.

Sae dinna put me in your beuk,

Nor for my ten white shillings leuk.

This list, wi' my ain hand I wrote it,
The day and date as under noted;
Then know all ye whom it concerns,
Subscripsi huic,

MOSSGIEL, February 22, 1786.

ROBERT BURNS.

[In May 1785, with a view to liquidate ten millions of unfunded debt, Mr Pitt made a large addition to the number of taxed articles, and amongst these were female-servants. It became the duty of Mr Aiken, as tax-surveyor for the district, to serve the usual notice on Burns, who on receipt of it made his return in the verses which form our text.]

TO JOHN KENNEDY, DUMFRIES HOUSE.

I.

Now, Kennedy, if foot or horse

E'er bring you in by Mauchlin corse,
(Lord, man, there's lasses there wad force

A hermit's fancy;

An' down the gate in faith they're worsc,
An' mair unchancy).

But as I'm sayin, please step to Dow's,
An' taste sic gear as Johnie brews,
Till some bit callan bring me news

That ye are there;

An' if we dinna hae a bouze,

I'se ne'er drink mair.

It's no I like to sit an' swallow,

Then like a swine to puke an' wallow;

But gie me just a true good fallow,

Wi' right ingine,

And spunkie ance to mak us mellow,

An' then we'll shine.

Now if ye're ane o' warl's folk,
Wha rate the wearer by the cloak,
An' sklent on poverty their joke,

Wi' bitter sneer,

Wi' you nae friendship I will troke,

Nor cheap nor dear.

Come, sir, here's to you!

Hae, there's my haun, I wiss you weel,
An' gude be wi' you.

MOSSGIEL, 3rd March 1785.

ROBT. BURNESS.

[In the old Calton burial-ground at Edinburgh, we recently stumbled on the grave-stone of Burns' early friend; from which we transfer the following inscription :-" In memory of John Kennedy, who died at Edinburgh, 1çth June 1812, aged 55. He was 13 years Factor to the Earl of Dumfries, and 18 to the Earl of Breadalbine."]

TO MR M'ADAM, OF CRAIGEN-GILLAN,

IN ANSWER TO AN OBLIGING LETTER HE SENT IN THE COMMENCEMENT OF MY POETIC CAREER.

SIR, o'er a gill I gat your card,

I trow it made me proud;

'See wha taks notice o' the bard!'

I lap and cry'd fu' loud.

Now deil-ma-care about their jaw,
The senseless, gawky* million;
I'll cock my nose aboon them a',
I'm roos'd + by Craigen-Gillan !

'Twas noble, sir; 'twas like yoursel,
To grant your high protection :

A great man's smile ye ken fu' well,
Is ay a blest infection.

Tho', by his banes wha in a tub
Match'd Macedonian Sandy!
On my ain legs thro' dirt and dub,
I independent stand ay,-

And when those legs to gude, warm kail,
Wi' welcome canna bear me,

A lee dyke-side, a sybow-tail,†
An' barley-scone shall cheer me.

Heaven spare you lang to kiss the breath
O' mony flow'ry simmers!

An' bless your bonie lasses baith,

I'm tauld they're loosome kimmers !‡

An' God bless young Dunaskin's laird,
The blossom of our gentry!

An' may he wear an auld man's beard,
A credit to his country.

[The poet thought so well of this little production that he included it in the Glenriddell collection of his early poems, where he states that it was an extempore composition, "wrote in Nanse Tinnock's, Mauchline." Craigengillan is a considerable estate in Carrick.]

TO A LOUSE.

ON SEEING ONE ON A LADY'S BONNET AT CHURch.

HA! whaur ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie? §

Your impudence protects you sairlie ;

I canna say but ye strunt || rarely,

Owre gauze and lace;

* Diogenes.

§ wonder.

† leek.

I strut.

loveable queans.

Tho' faith! I fear, ye dine but sparely
On sic a place.

Ye ugly, creepin, blasted wonner,*
Detested, shunn'd by saunt an' sinner,
How daur ye set your fit upon her-
Sae fine a lady?

Gae somewhere else, and seek your dinner
On some poor body.

Swith!t in some beggar's hauffet ‡ squattle,
Wi' ither kindred, jumping cattle;

There ye may creep, and sprawl, and sprattle,
In shoals and nations;

Whaur horn nor bane § ne'er daur unsettle
Your thick plantations.

Now haud you there, ye're out o' sight,
Below the fatt'rels,|| snug and tight;
Na, faith ye yet! ye'll no be right,

Till ye've got on it—

The verra tapmost, tow'rin height

O' Miss's bonnet.

My sooth! right bauld ye set your nose out,
As plump an' grey as ony groset: T

O for some rank, mercurial rozet,

Or fell, red smeddum,**

I'd gie you sic a hearty dose o't,

Wad dress your droddum,++

I wad na been surpris'd to spy

You on an auld wife's flannen toy; ‡‡