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feasting: and thou shalt woo her: Cry'd game, said I well?

Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

Host. For the which, I will be thy adversary to wards Anne Page; said I well?

Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host. Let us wag then.

Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

ACT III.

[Exeunt.

SCENE I-A Field near Frogmore.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.

Eva. I pray you now, good master Slender's serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physick?

Sim. Marry, sir, the city-ward, the park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

Bva. I must fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.

Sim. I will, sir.

Eva. Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and trempling of mind!--I shall be glad, if he have deceived me:-how melancholies I am!-I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the 'orkpless my. soul ! [Sings.

To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals;
There will we make our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.
To shallow

'Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.

Melodious birds sing madrigals:
When as I sat in Pabylon,
And a thousand vagram posies.
To shallow

Sim, Yonder he is coming, this way, sir Hugh.

Eva. He's welcome:

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Page. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, the renowned French Physician.

Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge. Page. Why?

Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen, and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave, as you would desires to be acquainted withal.

Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

Shal. It appears so, by his weapons:-Keep them asunder;-here comes doctor Caius.

Enter Host, Caius, and Rugby.

Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.

Shal. So do you, good master doctor. Host. Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your ear: Verefore vill you not meet a.me? Eva. Pray yon, use your patience: In good time.

Caius, By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

Eva. pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends: will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb, for missing your meetings and appoint.

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Caius Diable! Jack Rugby,mine Host de Jarterre, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint ?

Eva, As I am a christians soul, now look you, this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.

Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French and Welch; soul-curer and body-curer.

Caius. Ay, dat is very good! excellent! Host. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the Gar ter. Am I politick? am I subtle ? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lose my parson ? my priest ? my sir Hugh? no: he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so-Give me thy hand, celestial; so.

Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn:Follow me, lad of peace; follow, follow, follow.2 Shal. Trust me, a mad host-Follow, gentle men, follow.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt Shallow, Slender, Page, and Host. Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a

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Eva. This is well; he has made us his vlouting

Shal. How now, master parson? Good-morrow, de sot of us? ha, ha! good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is won-stog. I desire you, that we may be friends; and

derful.
Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page!

Page. Save you, good sir Hugh!

Era. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What! the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatick day?

Eva. There is reasons and causes for it. Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, master parson.

Eva. Fery well: What is it?

Page, Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw.

Shal. I have lived fourscore years, and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.ass Eva, What is he?

let us knog our prains together, to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.

Caius. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive

me too.

Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles -Pray you, follow. [Exeunt.

SCENE 11.-The Street in Windsor.

Enter Mistress Page and Robin,

Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader: Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs. Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, I' see, you'll be a courtier,

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Ford. Indeed, she is.

Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. *-* [Exit Rugby. Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

[Exit Host.
Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipe-
wine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will
you go, gentles?
All. Have with you, to see this monster. [Exeunt.
SCENE III-A Room in Ford's House.
Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert!
Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly: Is the buck-bas-
ket-
Mrs. Ford. I warrant:-What, Robin, I say.
Enter Servants, with a basket.

Mrs. Page. Come, come, come.
Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down.

Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge; we must
brief.

Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir;-I am sick, till I see her. [Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin. Ford, Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath be no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot point- and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewblank twelve score. He pieces-out his wife's in-house; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, clination; he gives her folly motion and advantage: and (without any pause, or staggering,) take this and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in wind!-and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good plots! Datchet mead, and there empty it in the muddy -they are laid; and our revolted wives share dam-ditch, close by the Thames side. nation together. Well; I will take him, then tor- Mrs. Page. You will do it? ture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Acteon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather praised for this, than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go.

Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: Be gone, and come when you are called. [Exeunt Servants. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin. Enter Robin.

Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket? what news with you?

Rob. My master, sir John, is come in at your back-door, mistress Ford; and requests your com

Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Pany.
Evans, Caius, and Rugby.

Shal. Page, &c. Well met, master Ford.
Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer
at home; and, I pray you, all go with me.

Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford. Slen. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.

Shal. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.

Slen. I hope I have your good will, father Page. Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for you but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love a-me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so much.

Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been true to us?

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: My master knows not of your being here: and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for, he swears, he'll turn me away.

Mrs. Page. Thou'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose.-I'll go hide me. Mrs. Ford. Do so:-Go tell thy master, I am alone. Mistress Page, remember you your cue.

[Exit Robin.

Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit Mrs. Page. Mrs. Ford. Go to then; we'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery pumpion ;-we'll teach him to know turtles from jays.

Enter Falstaff.

Host. What say you to young master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? verses, he speaks holyday, he smells April and Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough; May: he will carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in his but-this is the period of my ambition; O this blessed tons; he will carry't.

Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

hour!

Mrs. Ford. O sweet sir John!

Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish I would thy husband were dead; I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady.

Mrs. Ford. I your lady, sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady.

Fal. Let the court of France show me such anoFord. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go ther; I see how thine eye would emulate the diahome with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you mond: Thou hast the right arched bent of the shall have sport; I will show you a monster.-Mas-brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, ter doctor, you shall go;-so shall you, master Page;-and you, sir Hugh.

Shal. Well, fare you well:-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's.

[Exeunt Shallow and Slender.

or any tire of Venetian admittance.

Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither.

Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so: thou would'st make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of

thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait,' in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.

Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in me. Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come I cannot cog, and say, thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping haw-thorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Buckler's-bury in simple-time; I cannot: but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it.

Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir; I fear, you love mistress Page.

Fal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk by the Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows, how I love you; and you shall one day find it.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here's mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind the arras.

Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so she's a very tattling [Falstaff hides himself.

woman.

Enter Mistress Page and Robin.

What's the matter? how now?
Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford, what have you done?
You're shamed, you are overthrown, you are undone
for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good mistress
Page?

Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion?

Fal. I love thee, and none but thee; help me away: let me creep in here; I'll never [He goes into the basket; they cover him with foul linen. Mrs. Page. Help to cover your master, boy: Call your men, mistress Ford:-You dissembling knight! Mrs. Ford. What John, Robert, John! [Exit Robin. Re-enter Servants.] Go take up these clothes here, quickly; where's the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble; carry them to the laundress in Datchet mead; quickly, come.

Enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve it.-How now? whither bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth.

Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing. Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; and of the season too; it shall appear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed to night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out: I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox :-Let me stop this way first:So, now uncape.

Page. Good master Ford be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Ford. True, master Page.-Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.

Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France: it is not jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. [Exeunt Evans, Page, and Caius. Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in this ? Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or sir John. Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your

Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion ?-Out up- husband asked who was in the basket! on you! how am I mistook in you?

Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so throwing him into the water will do wo-him a benefit.

Mrs. Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? Mrs. Page, Your husband's coming hither, man, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: You are undone.

Mrs. Ford. Speak louder.-[Aside.]—'Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you: If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What shall I do ?-There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house.

Mrs. Page. For shame, never stand you had ra ther, and you had rather; your husband's here at hand, bethink you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him.-O, how have you deceived me!-Look, here is a basket; if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking: Or, it is whiting-time, send him by your two men to Datchet mead.

Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there: What shall I do?

Re-enter Falstaff.

Fal. Let me see't, let me see't! O let me see't! I'll in, I'll in; follow your friend's counsel ;-I'll in. Mrs. Page. What! Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight?

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress.

Mrs. Ford. I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mas. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: And we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his disso lute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?

Mrs. Page. We'll do it; let him be sent for tomorrow eight o'clock, to have amends.

Re-enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans,
Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave
bragged of that he could not compass.
Mrs. Page. Heard you that?

Mrs. Ford. Ay, ay, peace:-You use me well, master Ford, do you?

Ford. Ay, I do so.

Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts!

Ford, Amen.

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Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, master Ford. C

Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment ! Caius. By gar, nor I too; dere is no bodies. Page. Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not ashamed? What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

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Ford. 'Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it.] Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a 'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a 'squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well;-I promised you a dinner :Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you, why I have done this.-Come, wife-come, mistress Page; I pray you, pardon me; pray heartily, par-you. don me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bush: Shall it be so?

Ford. Any thing.

Eva. If there is one, 1 shall make two in the company.

Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de turd.

Eva. In your teeth: for shame. Ford. Pray you go, master Page. Bua. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A lousy knave; to have his gibes and his mockeries. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A Room in Page's House. Enter Fenton and Mistress Anne Page, Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. 19 Anne. Alas! how then?

Fent.
Why, thou must be thyself.
He doth object, I am too great of birth;
And that, my state being gall'd with my expense,
I seek to heal it only by his wealth:
Besides these, other bars he lays before me,
My riots past, my wild societies;
And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible

I should love thee, but as a property.
Anne. May be, he tells you true.

[come!

Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags; And 'tis the very riches of thyself

That now I aim at.

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Shal. Be not dismay'd.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

Quick. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults [choice. Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year! Aside.

Quick. And how does good master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!

Sten. I had a father, mistress Anne;-my uncle can tell you good jests of him:-Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for
that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave
Anne. Now, master Slender.
Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will 2

Slen. My will? 'od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest, indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father, and my uncle, hare made motions: if it be my luck, so if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: You may ask your father; here

he comes.

Enter Page and Mistress Page.

ter Anne.

Page. Now, master Slender :-Love him, daugh-
Why, how now! what does master Fenton here?
You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.
Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient.
Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to
my child.

Page. She is no match for you.
Fent. Sir, will you hear me?
Page.

No, good master Fenton. Come, master Shallow; come, son Slender; inKnowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton. [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Quick. Speak to mistress Page.

Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,

I must advance the colours of my love,

And not retire: Let me have your good will.

Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond

fool.

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Quick. That's my master, master doctor. Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth, And bowl'd to death with turnips.

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: Good master Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected;
Till then, farewell, sir :-She must needs go in;
Her father will be angry.

[Exeunt Mrs. Page and Anne. Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan. Quick. This is my doing now;-Nay, said I, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on master Fenton :-this is my doing,

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to

night

Give my sweet Nan this ring: There's for thy pains. (Exit.

Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A kind heart he hath a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I would my master had mistress Anne; or I would master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously for master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses; What a beast am I to slack it?

[Exit.

SCENE V. A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bardolph, I say,
Bard. Here, sir.

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Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown into the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, but that the snore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been, when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter Bardolph, with the wine.

Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sír, to speak with

you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my belly's as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins. Call her in.

Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs. Quickly.

Quick. By your leave; I cry you mercy: Give your worship good-morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices: Go, brew me pottle of sack finely.

a

of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed,
protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of
our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his com
panions, thither provoked and instigated by his dis-
temper, and forsooth, to search his house for his
wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you?

it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have of Ford's approach; and, by her invention and Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: rammed me in and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell, that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door; who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: Isuffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether: next, to be compassed, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a pecki hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: think of that,a man of my kidney,-think of that: that am as subject to heat, as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle, to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, Pal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish wo-glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; man's promise. think of that,-hissing hot,-think of that, master Brook.

Bard. With eggs, sir?

Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. Erit Bardolph.]-How now?

Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford: I have my belly full of

ford.

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine; I must carry her word quickly she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Pal. Well, I will visit her: Tell her so; and bid her think what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quick. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou ?
Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Quick, Peace be with you, sir.
[Exit.
Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook; he
sent me word to stay within: I like his money well.
0 here he comes.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Bless you, sir!

Pal. Now, master Brook? you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford's wife. Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me. Ford. And how sped you, sir?

Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. Ford, How so, sir? Did she change her deter mination?

Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant

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Ford. "Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her : Adieu. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford, Hum! ha! is this a vision is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box; but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn mad.

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