CHAPTER XXVIII. SELF-RELIANCE. Reverses Self-reliance of Mary Lyon.-The Rich and Poor Man's Daughter.- Madame de Genlis.-Want of this a Fault of Modern Female Society.-Remark of Freedley.-Getting well Married.-The Daughter who Relied upon her Mother, and not upon Herself.-The Old Man's Bride. Self-reliance fits Girls for Vicissitudes. Frequent. Mrs. Bleeker.-Wives of Drunkards.-The Young Merchant's Wife in Philadelphia.-The Clergyman's Widow and Four Children. The Merchant's Widow and Three Children. The Wise Merchant's Daughters, as Related by Arthur.-The most Prosperous become Poor.-Marie Antoinette.-Napoleon's Mother. -Annals of Crime.-A Sad Story.-Self-reliance necessary to Symmetry of Character.-Appeal to the Reader. -- ROM her youth Mary Lyon depended more FROM upon her own exertions than she did upon the assistance of others. This was self-reliance. It gave her courage and hope, when otherwise she would have been disheartened, and have given up in despair. Her humble circumstances were well suited to make her self-reliant. The opposite circumstances tend to dwarf the powers, and disqualify persons to struggle long and successfully with difficulties. The daughter of the wealthy man, who has lived in splendour, and fared sumptuously every day, depends almost entirely upon others. She is not taught to do a single thing for her own support; so that, if a reverse of fortune throws her upon her own resources, she is totally unprepared for the change. There is nothing that she can do for her own support. She is well-nigh as helpless as an infant. On the other hand, the poor man's daughter has been trained to do something for her own maintenance. If she is suddenly deprived of parental assistance, she can fall back upon her own energy and acquisitions. She is not afraid of starving. Poverty does not terrify her, for she has confidence in her own ability to provide for every want. In consequence of her training in the school of humble experience, Mary Lyon could have maintained herself in several different ways. True, she could not boast of thirty different employments, with the gifted Madame de Genlis, by which, if necessary, she could gain a living; but yet there was enough for one of her tact, energy, and perseverance, to earn an ample livelihood. She knew this, and therefore did not fear calamity so long as reason and health remained. A defect of modern society is that so few girls are trained to depend upon themselves. The greater part of them depend upon their parents till they enter upon wedded life, and then they depend upon their husbands. They are not help-meets, as that appellation was understood in the days of our grandfathers and grandmothers; for, many a young man who takes one of them for his bride, is obliged to add one or two servants to assist in regulating household affairs. The want of more self-reliance is one reason that young women of the present day accomplish so little. There is no reason why girls should not possess it as really as boys. It is needed in domestic as truly as in mercantile life. Of the latter John Freedley says: "It is a mistaken notion that capital alone is necessary to success in business. If a man has head and hands suited to his business, it will soon procure him capital. My observations through life satisfy me that at least nine-tenths of those most successful in business start in life without any reliance except upon their own head and hands. All professions and occupations alike give the field for talent, perseverance, and industry; and these qualities, whether in the East, West, or South, sooner or later, will crown the aspirant with success." These remarks apply with equal force to the employment of females. Their sphere of effort is subject to changes, trials, and difficulties not a whit less discouraging than those which are found amid the din of traffic. Too often, perhaps, tender mothers counsel their daughters in such a way as to cause them to feel that getting "well married" is the chief end of life; for then they will have nothing to do. A husband, to this class, is a convenient provision for their maintenance; once secured, they need not trouble themselves further about what they shall eat, and what they shall drink, and wherewithal they shall be clothed. Hence it is only necessary that they have just energy, tact, and wisdom enough to get along till they enter the married state. We once knew a mother who reared her daughter in the most tender and delicate way, scarcely allowing a strong wind to tumble her beautiful curls, or a broom to tax her strength. At the age of eighteen, a gentleman of more than twice her age, made proposals of marriage. He was a near neighbour, and for a long time the family had cherished a decided antipathy to him. It was not surprising, under the circumstances, that the daughter did not entertain the proposal with favour; but she was an obedient child, and the counsels of her mother soon overcame her opposition, and she consented to become the neighbour's bride. Her mother was overheard to speak, in substance, as follows, to a near relative, who objected to the match: "My health is very poor, and I may not live long; and who will find her home when I am gone? She cannot support herself, and I know not what will become of her. But if she marries he has property, a fine house, well furnished, and all that is necessary to make a pleasant home. For my part, I think it is a good chance for her." Here, the fact that the daughter had not been reared to depend upon herself became the sole reason for her marrying a man for whom she had no affection. The result was what might have been expected. She lived with him only four or five months after their marriage, and then they separated. It is an illustration, not only of the fact that girls are generally reared without any regard to self-reliance, but also of the evils which a want of this element of character often entails. We insist that self-reliance is necessary for girls in all circumstances, even for the daughters of the wealthiest parents. Vicissitudes may change the current of their lives in a single week or day, as many sad examples bear witness. If for no other reason, they need this trait of character to serve them when misfortune has swept away their possessions, or death has stricken down the friend on whom they have leaned. Miss Lyon used to say that one reason why she would have girls thoroughly educated was, that they might be prepared to act for themselves in the reverses of fortune. These reverses are more frequent and sad than many girls suppose. Let us consider a few facts. Margaretta V. Bleeker, whose memory as an accomplished scholar is still fresh to many of |