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ÆRÆ ARCHITECTONICÆ IɔɔlɔCCLXXXIX.
CONSULE THOMA ELDER.
Q. F. F. Q. S.
TRANSLATION of the INSCRIPTION, not upon the stone:
By the Blessing of Almighty God,
Being originally very mean,
The Right Honourable Francis Lord Napier,
Amidst the Acclamations
Laid the Foundation-stone
Of this New Fabric ;
Has been studied;
In the Year of our Lord 1789,
And of the Æra of Masonry 5789,
And Robert Adam the Architect.
The Grand Master was supported on the right hand by Sir William Forbes, Bart. a former Grand Master; and on the left by his Grace the Duke of Buccleugh.
The Lord Provost, Magistrates, and Council, walked in their robes; his Lordship being supported on the right and left by the two eldest Bailies.
Principal Robertson was supported on the right hand by the Rev. Dr. Hunter, professor of divinity, and on the left by Dr. Hardie, professor of church history. The other professors, and a great number of students, followed. The professors were in their gowris; and all of them, as well as the students, had a sprig of laurel in their hats.
A large drawing of the east front of the New College was carried in the procession before the Grand Lodge, by two operative Masons.
The music, both vocal and instrumental, was well conducted, and consisted of some excellent pieces composed for the occasion.
A very elegant and sumptuous entertainment was afterwards given in George-street assembly-rooms, by the Lord Provost and Magistrates, to the Grand Master, the members of the Grand Lodge, and others of the Brethren; and also to the nobility, gentry, and principal inhabitants of this city; for which purpose cards of invitation to
the number of 500 were issued. Upwards of 300 noblemen and gentlemen were present, and the whole was conducted with the greatest regularity and order.
This was the most numerous and brilliant procession ever exhibited in this city: it extended from the scite of the New College to the Tron Church in a compact body.
FOR THE ECONOMY OF
DESIGNED FOR THE EASE AND BENEFIT OF THE FASHIONABLE WORLD.
time to be expended on thought, as nothing comes of it
among men of fashion. 2. The wear and tear of time by constant use to be avoided, as so precious an article ought to be employed sparingly.
3. Time often to be protracted by long and wearisome lounges, by way of making the most of it.
4. When time is heavy with lassitude, and dull with inoccupation, be tender of using it in this torpid and vapourish condition, and endeavour to refresh it by the slumbers of inanity.
5. Make up your mind at once and irrevocably on every question: by these means you save the time that would otherwise be lost in choosing, and need never after waste a moment in hearing what another man has to say,
6. Avoid the acquisition of too many new ideas, which will des mand considerable time to arrange themselves in your minds. The fewer your ideas, the more speedily will your measures be taken, and your resolutions formed; it being a much shorter process to determine with two ideas than with half a score.
7. Dispossess yourself as much as possible of all feeling for other men; for this is giving to others a claim upon your time; and while you are sympathising with their sufferings, they are stealing a march
8. Rob other men of as much of their time as possible, by way of saving your own.
This is a golden rule, and a most ingenious æco. 9. Study your own gratifications in every concern of life, and waste no time in thinking of the sacrifices you make to them, or of their consequences to other men,
10. Let all your time be spent upon yourself, and let your constant admiration of your own perfections absorb all the praise that is due from you to others.
11. Fill up your time as much as possible with pleasures that exclude participation : on this account, the time spent in decorating your persons, and in the pleasures of the table, is worthily employed; for then self is the sole object of it, and not a single moment is alienated from us.
12. The last and greatest rule is this :-Allow no time for praying, or for works of charity; for this is giving up a portion of our time to eternity, which is a greater absurdity than sending presents to Cræsus, or pouring water into the ocean.
EXPENCE. 1. All expensive feelings and sensations to be subdued; such as compassion, generosity, patriotism, and public spirit.
2. The money bestowed on horses to be saved out of the education of our children'; they are therefore to be sent to school where the cheapest bargain can be made for them.
3. To banish hospitality from our bosoms, and to ask the company of our friends for the sake of pillaging them at play, and in a view to the douceurs which they in course leave behind them, and which we divide with our servants.
4. To sacrifice comfort to ostentation in every article of life; to go without substantial conveniencies for the sake of shining superfluities; to be mean and sordid under the rose, that we may look like prodigals in public: and to live like beggars in secret, to glitter like princes abroad.
5. To abandon all poor relations, and to make presents only to those who are much richer than ourselves, in the expectation of being gainers at last.
6. To be loud against the ingratitude of the poor, which we have never experienced; and to reserve our charity for deserving objects, which we are determined never to acknowledge.
7. To be active and forward in speculative schemes of charity, which we are well assured can never take place; while we are silently raising our rents, to the ruin of distressed families.
8. To pass by the door of Famine with our money glued to our pockets; while, to see a new dancer at the opera in the evening, we draw our purse-strings as generously as princes.
9. To repair to the house of distress, not to dissipate our money in common-place acts of compassion and generosity, but to extort good bargains from hunger and necessity, and to purchase at cheap rates the last valuable relics of perishing fortunes.
10. To be lavish of kind speeches, which cost nothing, and to lament, when death has come in relief to misery, that the circumstances of so melancholy a case were not known to us in time, to afford us the luxury of exercising our humanity.
LEARNING AND MORALITY. 1. To become a member of two or three learned societies; for thus we maintain the title of philosopher, at the cheap rate of a few guineas a year.
2. Instead of collecting a library, to belong to a reading-club, where one book may serve many persons, and where the waiter takes the responsibility of choice off our hands, and contracts to supply books as he usually does cards.
3. A cheap systein of morality may be collected from the introductory parts of advertisements, which may do for ourselves and children. For instance-some fine sentiments on the passions may be found in the advertisement of the Cyprian Preventive. --The Dumb Dolly, or a machine for washing, is recommended by some lively remarks on the saving of time.-An elegant preface on parental duties, ushers in the famous pills for conception. — The great fecundity of nature is a natural theme of admiration in the advertisement of the Persian powder for lice. The contagion of bad communication is very forcibly descanted upon by the inventor of the antivariolique bags against the infection of the small-pox, &c. -A sincere believer in future rewards and punishments conscientiously recommends his elastic desiderata. — The advantages of exercise are set forth very pointedly in recommendation of a plaister for corns.— The inventor of the aqua mirifica for the eye, has not forgotten to expatiate on the tendency which the contemplation of Nature's works has to open and expand the mind.
These valuable passages contain all the morality necessary to a man of fusbion. The rumbling of his carriage will soon shake them together, so as to form thein into a compacted system; and so furnished, he will soon acquire the title of a great philosopher-in his own circles.
EMADES is a person of great property, and has an undoubted
rence as the character of a covetous man; and, rather than be thought to want hospitality, would make his whole neighbourhood swim in an ocean of Madeira. Nothing can be more costly than his furniture and his liveries ; all his appointments are magnificent; and it is not easy to excel him in the splendour of his entertainments. But Demades makes but a sorry figure in the midst of all this profusion with which he is evidently overstocked and encumbered ; he lets you perceive in a moment how high he rates the honour he has done you, and takes especial care that no part of his magnificence shall escape your notice, which, if it appear to dazzle you, he cannot help betraying the delight Vol. IV.
your embarrassment affords him, in a smile of exultation. As this sort of feeling in his guests is considered by him as the most unequivocal praise that can be offered to him, he is solicitous to produce it as often as possible, by playing off his grandeur before men of broken fortunes and blushing indigence. Thus it is a rule with him to propose a dozen sorts of wine tò a man who he knows has never tasted but two, and is charmed with his perplexity of choice, and mistakes of pronunciation. His table, for the same reason, is filled with foreign dishes, “ of exquisitest name,” and of most ambiguous forms; and you might fancy yourself at supper with Lucullus, on fattened thrushes and the cranes of Malta. Most of his dishes have such formidable names, that few care to risk the ridicule of their host, by venturing to ask for them; and if they name them rightly, it is ten to one but they blunder in eating them, which answers equally well to the facetious entertainer. If any thing is particularly rare and out of season, you are told how much it cost before you touch it, so that you eat it with a sort of grudge, and with that feeling which disappoints the relish of the richest dainties. This ham was sent him from Westphalia; this pickle was prepared from the receipt of an Italian count; this wine was imported for him by the Spanish ambassador; the venison he killed himself; the pig was fed with chesnuts and apples. Every thing has its history: his potatoes are not common potatoes, they are the potatoes of Demades; they have an anecdote belonging to them-touch one and you will hear it. His apartments are replete with every imaginable contrivance for elegance and accommodation; but his manners render it plain that they are there, not for your convenience, but your admiration. Whatever you touch, taste, or use, you cannot forget for a moment who is its owner. Egotism, and a certain stamp of property and possession, accompany all his acts, and characterise all his phrases. My is a monosyllable never omitted, and always emphatic : thus it is my doors, my hinges, my coals, and my carpet. Touch his poker, and you will presently feel that it belongs to Demades. You may always know in what part of the room Demades is seated, without the trouble of looking for him ; for, besides a magisterial cough, his voice is the loudest in the company; and if he moves you are sure it is Demades, for some ceremony attends upon every act, that marks it for his own. He breathes with a certain emphasis ; he has a motion more than any man present in using his handkerchief; there is a supererogatory flourish in his manner of drinking your health; his glass makes a turn or two extraordinary in its journey to his lips; and in seating himself in his chair, the toe of his right foot describes on the floor a semicircle with the other-that is to say, he does it with a swing, that shews him to be the master of the house, and the chair to be his own. Thus altogether his entertainment is the grandest and the meanest, his viands the best and the worst in the world.